Flashback 15

By SchammieLynn

It was in the early morning when Anna was finally born. Realizing the opportunity to watch a sibling be born would probably never happen again due to the curse, I made sure to stay in the room. Oswin held Aly's hand and I sat to the side, too worried about my ice to dare coming closer.

When Anna arrived, I can't really explain what I expected, because I had no idea myself. But I jumped out of the chair and walked over, excited to meet my baby sister, no matter how long it lasted.

Anna was small, pudgy, red, and squirmy, but she cried for such a very short amount of time before she seemed intrigued with everything she saw. Intelligent looking baby blue eyes met mine, and I was shocked.

Because their first child had been stillborn Aly's reaction to holding Anna was one of sheer motherly joy. Tears welled up in her eyes and Oswin's as well.

"She's.. She's… perfect. Should I do it?" Oswin lifted his hand as if he were about to cast a spell.

"Yes." Aly whispered and kissed Anna's forehead.

"Do what?" I practically whispered, still entranced by the eyes of Anna that were now fixated on her father.

A small puff of green appeared on Anna's chest, and a heartbeat was displayed.

"If she lived, we needed a way to know if something was happening. We decided my magic is going to monitor Anna."

I nodded as if this was normal and then shakily extended my finger out to touch Anna's hand. The little heart monitor beat steadily, as if there was no sign of Anna being cursed at all. She gripped my finger tightly, and I realized I wanted to watch her grow up, to become my age, to communicate with me, to be my friend and my little sister. I wanted to have pointless sibling arguments with her. I wanted another addition to the family.

The family that I knew would be broken.

When time went by, about 2 or 3 weeks, I was preoccupied with spending my time doing household things that maids and butlers couldn't do, and in my free time I was sitting by Anna and rattling baby toys playfully while Aly refused to leave her side. I talked very little to Oswin and Aly, and I hardly could expect anything less. They had so much more to worry about than me. My ice had stopped, I wasn't a threat, and I obviously wasn't Zelena's target.

But Anna was.

So, the day came when her magic heart monitor sent some sort of message to Oswin. He'd been working at home, offices upstairs and all in secrecy in case something like this was going to happen.

I was cleaning dishes when he screamed, "Aly! It's happening."

She was holding Anna near the fireplace, cooing softly, "It's alright, Momma's got you. Always."

Nobody dared say anything, and I just stood at the other side of the room, watching and worrying that my ice would start. And then it started. The ice fanned out from around my feet and the part of my dress I was clutching nervously became rock solid with ice.

Oswin had his arm around Aly and another hand on Anna, but then he looked up at me. We made eye contact, and that was the last thing that I wanted to have happened. I shook my head at him. Don't worry about me, I chanted in my head. But the ice was spreading, and I couldn't do anything to stop it. I tried not to think about it, not to feel it, not to worry about Anna or Aly or any of them.

But Oswin noticed the ice.

It happened all at once. Anna let out a sweet little giggle as if she hadn't the slightest idea as to what was wrong with her, and the heart monitor slowed and slowed until it came to a close.

I took one step, one simple step, and whispered, "No…"

Then the ice shot from my fingertips, and I thought for sure that it was heading towards Aly and Oswin during such a detrimental moment.

"STOP!" I screamed. The ice hit the crib. Instantly, the whole thing turned to ice and I lost it. Tears formed in my eyes, and I wondered if maybe those would turn to ice as well.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry," I whimpered and ran out of the room. Leaving them with Anna in their arms and sorrow in their hearts.

Through my tears, I sprinted to the garden and found the tree that so many years ago, Terry had instructed me to climb and skip class. With terrible skill and a fear that ice would make it difficult to climb, I weaseled my way to the top almost unsuccessfully. By the time I got to where I could sit comfortably, ice spread out around me and the leaves turned into cold glassy objects.

I grabbed one, and hurled it across the garden as the rest of the tree changed from living to ice.

There was no way it was about to stop, but I no longer cared. What kind of fate allowed a tiny baby to die? Allowed a couple to fall in love with her, to grow so attached, and then tear her away at the simplest of times. And then allowed me to watch in horror from the side of the room and almost kill one of them.

A sob escaped from my throat. I was a mess. And I didn't want either Aly or Oswin to see me like this. I needed to be strong for them, because I was all they had. But if all they had was shooting ice at them, I probably wasn't too high up on their "favorite human being" list.

I just curled up on the tree branch and let the cold tears flow.

"Essie?"

I flailed and almost fell a little bit off of the tree branch. "What?!" I shrieked.

I looked down, half expected to see Terry, but knowing that would be impossible. Then everything came back to me. Anna's death, me shooting the crib with ice, Aly and Oswin's faces full of sadness.

"Essie come down from there, please?"

"O-Oswin?" I shivered, realizing that the whole tree had been turned to snow and ice and icicles were all over. I peered over the edge at his face. His eyes were red and I instantly felt more terrible than I already did.

"Please, Ess, come one down from there. You don't need to be alone right now, and neither do we… Aly's asleep now. Please?"

I worked my way down the tree and stood facing him, knowing my face was turning red at the sheer embarrassment of completely freezing a tree. My hair, since I'd been in the tree, had turned almost white, and I wondered if it was a bad thing.

"I'm sorry," I practically whispered.

Oswin just stepped forward, stroked my hair once, and then yanked me into a warm embrace. And he and I just stood there, hugging, and showing me that I had nothing to be sorry for in the first place.

"None of this is your fault, Ess. It's okay. It's all going to be okay."

I only wished he was right.

He escorted me inside and it was if the whole building had just sort of stopped. While there weren't many staff members there before, now there were none.

Aly was asleep in their bedroom, and Oswin walked me to my bedroom as the dark of night make the dreary atmosphere even darker.

"My… my ice… do you think, I mean… Do you think it was something I did?" I stammered out.

"No, Ess. No. Anna was nowhere near that crib and you know that she was, well, dying from something much more dangerous than your magic."

I sighed and he gave a reassuring smirk. "You realize your hair is nearly white now."

"I know. I saw my braid turn white while I was in the tree. I assume my magic probably has something to do with it?"

"Don't ask me."

I picked up the end of my braid and peered at the peculiar platinum color. "I know this isn't important, but… does it look okay?"

Oswin laughed, "Of course it does. It suits you."

"Yeah?" I smirked a little, feeling for the first time like we might be able to recover from this. Oswin assured me, and then whispered a goodnight wish to me as he walked back to their room.

We had decided that rather than worry about a funeral, it would be best to spread Anna's ashes amongst the gorgeous garden in front of our palace. It seemed fitting enough. On the way there, Oswin carried the urn in one arm and held Aly's hand in the other. I trailed from behind, again worrying about the ice that could haphazardly shoot from my hand. When they spread her ashes, the wind carried them away.

As the ashes drifted, Oswin placed his arm around Aly and she cried softly into his shoulder. He said a few words, and I nodded in agreement, probably for self-comfort. It was lovely in the saddest of ways, although we knew this was coming.

We walked back to the house after tearfully spreading the ashes, and Aly dropped back to walk alongside of me.

"Hey," she whispered and reached for my hand, but I pulled it away. She and I hadn't spoken about anything, as was expected. Even with my sudden change in appearance, I don't even think she noticed. I considered it respect for her feelings not to invade with a conversation.

Aly's face grew sad and concerned, "Essie?"

"My ice. I don't want to hurt you… You saw what I did to the crib."

She stopped walking and took both my hands in hers with a grip stronger than I expected given her state. Even with the tears in her eyes, she stared at me with an unfailing gaze, "Elsa. Please don't shut us out just because you're afraid of hurting us. You'd hurt me more by avoiding me than you would by accidentally giving me frostbite."

I shifted a bit, "I'm sorry…"

She place a hand on my cheek and smiled, "Don't be. Your hair is beautiful, by the way. I like it."

"You do?" I perked up as we continued to walk back to the palace. "Do you mean that or are you just saying that because you feel obligated."

She rolled her eyes, "Of course I mean that. And I'm obligated. But that doesn't make it not true."

Unexpectedly, I hugged her. I mean tossed my arms around her and hugged her tight and wished that I would stop growing up, wished that even though all these terrible things were happening, the bond between Aly and I would never falter. I needed her.

"I know losing Anna was hard, but you need to know I'm always going to be here, alright Aly? I'm not going anywhere." I said as we pulled apart.

She was crying again, wiping her eyes and nodding, and she put an arm around me. "Sometimes I wonder if you're really my 13 year old daughter. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Me either," I whispered as we began walking back.