There's Always More

by AlicevsWonderland

Hogwarts AU. When Hiccup's secret of being the first to train a dragon is revealed, he struggles to handle his new popularity among the other students. Jack decides not to bother him like many of the others, even though he is also curious about the whole story. Despite this, an unlikely friendship blooms between the two boys and eventually turns into something more. Rated M!

25. Wounds

Author's note:

So...after about 4 months, I'm back. I've been busy with my thesis, but I can happily say that I've passed :) Anyway, here is the next chapter. I hope you will enjoy it.

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~~~~ Jack ~~~~

The world sharpened around him, as he opened his eyes. Wooden planks stretched out above his head. Where am I? Softness under his body. Warmth enveloping him. Candles glowing; tiny torches in a deep cave. He blinked. His chest throbbed like a sickening pulse. His gaze drifted along the room. Hiccup's face, streaked with blood and dirt. He was hunched over on a chair, head leaning against the wall. Red eyes staring into nothing. He's been crying. Why has he been crying? A massive black shape rested next to him, its back slowly rising and falling.

"Hic…" he whispered, the words scraping his throat. He tried to sit up but the pulse sent sharp jolts through his body. He groaned and held a hand over his chest. What happened?

Hiccup's head snapped to the side. Relief banished the fatigue on his face. In a blink, he jumped out of the chair and sat at the side of the bed. A black blur followed and Toothless' green eyes stared at him.

"Jack." His name had never sounded softer on Hiccup's lips. Before he could respond, Hiccup wrapped his arms around his neck. Warm lips pressed onto Jack's forehead and down his cheeks, a soothing drizzle that blurred the pain. "I love you," Hiccup said over and over. "I love you, I love you."

"Hic," he said again, his own voice sounding unfamiliar. "I love you too."

Hiccup breathed out and rested his chin on Jack's shoulder. "I thought I was going to lose you."

"Lose me?" he asked. Memories blinked in his mind like fragments of a dream. Arrows drilling into his chest. Warm blood on his hands. The screams of his friends. "How…bad was it?"

"It…" Hiccup began, leaning back to sit on his knees beside the bed. His eyes were different; their usual spark had been put out. He's seen too much, Jack realized with a sudden lump in his throat. Toothless leaned his head against Hiccup's shoulder. "It was close," Hiccup said, "If those arrows had hit you even a little differently, they would have gone into your heart. And…if Astrid and Fishlegs hadn't made it back in time with the potions and everything…you would have been gone." Hiccup looked to the floor. One of his hands fiddled with his braids. They were stained with blood and had almost come undone. Much like the two of them. Toothless nudged his shoulder and Hiccup rewarded him with a pat.

Jack swallowed at Hiccup's anxious display. "What…what aren't you saying?"

"I felt it," Hiccup said. His hands dropped to his sides. He glowed red in the light of the candles, like mental wounds bled under his skin. "I felt you slipping away. Your heartbeat was so weak. You were cold and I could barely hear you breathe in the end. I felt you dying."

Jack reached for Hiccup's hand and braced himself for the pain of the movement. He hissed and entwined their fingers. "I'm sorry…but I'll be okay now. Right?"

Hiccup gave him a weak smile. He looked like he hadn't slept since before the battle.

Jack sighed and gathered the courage to ask the question, to which he was afraid of the answer. His mouth had dried up, the potential words like sandpaper to his throat. "How…how are the others? Are they safe?"

The way Hiccup paused before answering might as well have been a blow to Jack's gut. The nausea crawled inside his belly; slimy and wriggling. Someone is dead or about to die.

"Mavis is going to be okay," Hiccup said and held his hand tighter. "Astrid, Fishlegs, Rapunzel and Flynn have minor injuries..."

His breaths came out shallow. "And…Merida?"

"We don't know yet," Hiccup said, "It could go either way."

Jack nodded. "She has to make it. I can't lose her," he said and tried to squash the dread forming inside him. At least most of them are safe…please make it, Merida.

Hiccup didn't look at him anymore. His eyes gleamed in the candlelight with unshed tears.

The nausea spread its slimy fingers inside him. "Who?" he whispered.

"My dad…" Hiccup said and bit his lip. "He…he sacrificed himself to save me."

Jack brushed his thumb over Hiccup's knuckles. "Shit," he whispered. "I'm sorry…I'm so sorry."

"Yeah." Hiccup cleared his throat. "Me too."

Now, you'll have to live with the same pain as me. The pain that never leaves. He folded his hands around Hiccup's fingers. "I should have been there for you."

"Don't do that. I just…" Hiccup sighed. "Everything that's happened…I need time."

"Me too," he said, "But…just know that I'm here for you. Always."

Hiccup leaned over him again. "I know," he whispered into his shoulder. Strong arms tightened around his neck. "I'm so glad you're going to be okay. I don't know what I would do without you. I can't lose you."

"I know what that feels like," Jack said and stroked Hiccup's hair. "I didn't know what they were doing to you. If they were torturing you or if you were already dead. I was so scared."

"I was scared too," Hiccup said, muffled by Jack's shirt. "That I'd never see you or the others again."

The moment of silence that passed between them was a comforting one. One that spoke of relief and joy, despite the aftermath of war.

When Hiccup leaned back, his eyes no longer held tears. "How do you feel?"

"Like a Firecrab ripped me open," he said.

"Yeah…hurts like Hel, doesn't it?"

"It really does. I haven't felt pain like this since…" He trailed off.

"Yeah," Hiccup said. "So I, uhm…there's going to be a funeral tomorrow for everyone. But right now…I just want to be relieved that you're still with me."

"We can do that," Jack agreed with a smile. "But could you…go tell the others? I don't want them to worry more than they have to."

"Yeah, of course," Hiccup agreed. "Are you well enough to have them visit?"

"Yeah, I'm all right. It hurts and I'm tired but…it's fine."

Hiccup nodded. "I'll go get them. Toothless, stay here and keep an eye on Jack."

Toothless warbled in agreement and lay down next to the bed. His tail curled around one of the bedposts.

"Hey Hic?" he said, when Hiccup stepped over the threshold.

"Yeah?"

"Maybe you should wash your face first."

Hiccup rubbed his forehead where dried blood and dirt rested in uneven patches. "Yeah…haven't really thought about it until now."

~~~~ Hiccup ~~~~

The village had changed since they first got home after the battle. The sound of hammers and other tools clanged in the air. The scent of freshly cut wood brought back memories of the times their houses had been rebuilt after dragon attacks. Scattered here and there, rough base structures of what would eventually become houses stood among the ashes. The dragons helped transport heavy things and lift planks and tools to the Vikings working on the roofs.

Everyone on Berk had lost someone they cared for and the grief in their hearts ruled their bodies; slow movements born of necessity rather than motivation; eyes that held less fierceness and passion; tightly closed lips that didn't eagerly chatter or laugh or roar. Everyone worked in silence, except for the necessary exchanges in order to cooperate on the rebuilding. Hiccup studied their faces and actions, as he walked along the paths, but no one met his eyes. He let a deep breath fill his body before he pushed it out. We all need time.

As he passed a group of kids playing with what remained of their toys, their faces less enthused than what he was used to, Gobber's voice called out behind him. "Hiccup!"

From a distance, Gobber appeared his normal self, but when he got closer, Hiccup noticed the sadness in his eyes. The wounds on his arms and head had been cleaned and neatly bandaged. It looked like Rapunzel's handiwork.

"I just wanted to tell you that more of the prisoners are willing to cooperate," he said.

They had placed the surviving hostile warriors in cells so far. With the funerals coming up, houses being rebuild and injured people being tended to, there wasn't time to do much else with them right now.

He nodded. "That's good. Hopefully we can find a peaceful solution to all of this."

"I haven't seen you out here in a while," Gobber said, "I assume your…friend is awake?"

He couldn't help but smile. "Yeah, he is."

Gobber nodded and stayed silent for a moment. His analyzing eyes left Hiccup's skin itching. Gobber was one of the people who knew him best. It was difficult to hide personal issues from him.

Gobber glanced around them, before he looked him straight in the eye. "Look…" he whispered. "You can't hide this forever."

"What?"

"You know what," Gobber said, his eyes turning intense. Hiccup had the impulse to retreat, like all those times Gobber had caught him doing things he wasn't supposed to do.

"Uhh," was the only word leaving his mouth. He can't possibly mean…

Gobber sighed. "You didn't leave his side, not even to sit with your other injured friends. You were beginning to break. You didn't eat or drink or sleep. You didn't try to throw yourself into the rebuilding projects to take your mind off everything. I had to send Astrid or the others when I needed your decision on something. I know what that means."

He swallowed. His heart threw itself against his ribs over and over. Shit! Fuck! What the Hel can I say to that? "Gobber, I," the words tumbled from his lips, "It's a little complica-"

Gobber held up his prosthetic hand. "Don't worry, Hiccup. I'm not going to tell anyone."

The lack of judgment in Gobber's eyes flooded his system with relief. He filled his lungs with air and savored the way his heartbeat began to slow down again. "Thank you."

"But you should. And soon. You're the chief now. You need to be honest with the tribe. Otherwise, it's going to eat away at you. You won't be able to be happy, and you won't be capable of leading the tribe either."

"I know. I'm just not sure how to do it." He glanced around, watching the Berkians work on restoring their village. Many of them he had known his whole life. I wonder how many of them are going to support me…and how many want me to leave and never come back.

"You'll figure it out," Gobber said and placed a hand on his shoulder. Looking into Gobber's eyes soothed the growing sickness broiling in his gut. "You always do."

He kept a watchful eye on everyone around him, as he continued his walk through the village in search of his friends. A small group of kids and Terrible Terrors came past him, all carrying small planks of wood or light tools. Everyone's doing what they can. In the distance, he saw Hookfang and Barf and Belch fly supplies to the Great Hall, where all the wounded were either recovering or dying. The sight of Barf and Belch without their saddles still brought tears to his eyes. He blinked them away and focused on watching the path.

"Hiccup!" Astrid's voice reached his ears. She and Stormfly landed nearby, filled burlap sacks strapped to Stormfly's back and sides. Astrid jumped off and gave her dragon a pat on the head.

When he reached them, he found himself in Astrid's comforting embrace.

"Is Jack okay?" she asked as they pulled away from each other.

"Yeah." He smiled and the sadness began to drip away. "He just woke up."

"Thank Eir*, we made it in time." Astrid laughed and ran a hand through her hair. "I was really worried."

"Me too. He'll need some recovery time but…if it wasn't for you and Fishlegs, he would be dead now," Hiccup said.

Astrid's smile turned soft.

He pointed to the bandages around her arm. "How are you feeling?"

"It's nothing," she said with a dismissive wave of a hand. "It just stings a little. But it should be better soon. And I got the salve in time, so there should be no risk of infection."

"Good," he nodded and patted Stormfly on the shoulder. Luckily, both Astrid and Stormfly got through the battles with minor injuries. "I'm glad to hear that. That's at least one less thing to worry about."

"Yeah, I know," she agreed. "So…I haven't seen you in the village since we came back. Where are you going?"

"I have to tell the others that Jack's all right…do you know where they are?"

"Fishlegs is still at home," she said, her smile melting off her lips. "I think I saw Rapunzel and Flynn heading towards the forest."

"The forest?" he asked, avoiding a conversation about how much they all worried about Fishlegs after his parents died, and he locked himself away in their house. The war was over but the problems weren't. Merida could still die and Mavis and Fishlegs refused to see anyone.

Astrid shrugged. "Yeah. I have no idea why."

When he stepped foot in the forest and heard the snap of twigs under his weight, he realized just how lucky it was that the fire hadn't spread to the trees and consumed precious resources. They needed the wood for rebuilding their homes and ships, and if they had to be reliant on their allies to get it, it would have slowed down the process significantly.

After being holed up in his room, waiting for Jack to wake up, his mind drank in everything; the luscious green filling his eyes, the fresh scent of pine swirling in his nostrils, the sounds of birds and rustling leaves. At least this place hasn't changed.

As he went down a hill, indistinct voices spoke in the distance. He moved quietly through the trees and soon found himself by the cove, where he and Toothless had shared so many precious moments. By the glimmering pond, Rapunzel and Flynn were standing together. Their smiles were tender and their voices soft.

He began to make his way down to them, when his feet became glued to the ground. His mouth opened but no sound came out. Rapunzel's hands clutched the collar of Flynn's shirt. Their mouths locked together in a slow kiss. Flynn rested his arm around Rapunzel's back. With eyes closed, their lips glided over each other again and again. It was lazy and loving, like they needed to savor each other. Definitely not their first kiss.

Hiccup's lips split into a grin. Finally! His bones felt lighter and he fought the urge to jump into the air. Jack had woken up and Rapunzel and Flynn had admitted their feelings to each other. Even among the horror, even among the pain and the trauma, there were still coves of joy to be found. It's a shame I have to interrupt them. He cleared his throat.

Rapunzel and Flynn jerked away from each other. Rapunzel's gaze darted everywhere until her eyes landed on him. Hiccup grinned at her. She hid her face in her hands and groaned.

"Is this a bad time?" Hiccup said. He didn't let his grin fade.

"No, no," Flynn said and laughed at Rapunzel's embarrassment.

"Uhm…" Rapunzel said, her voice muffled by her hands. She slowly lifted her head and met his eyes again.

Hiccup chuckled. "Well, sorry to interrupt but…I have good news."

"Jack's all right?!" The amusement on Flynn's face melted into elation.

Hiccup nodded.

Rapunzel squealed and jumped into Flynn's arms. "Thank goodness, I was so scared! We have to go see him right away!"

"Yeah, I'm sure he'd love to see you too," Hiccup said, "and you can tell him about this…new development."

Rapunzel pulled away from Flynn. "You're loving this, aren't you?" She pretended to scowl at him.

"Of course I am. You guys finally came clean to each other."

"Wait…you knew?" Flynn said.

"Of course I knew. Jack knew too."

"And Fishlegs," Rapunzel said, a silent apology in her eyes.

"Wauw…" Flynn said, suddenly finding the ground fascinating. There was that look of embarrassment. The one that, until now, Hiccup had never seen on Flynn's face. "Next you're going to tell me the girls knew about it too," Flynn said and dared to meet his eyes again.

"No, of course not," Hiccup said.

Flynn nodded in contentment, and Hiccup almost felt bad for bursting his bubble. "They only knew about your crush on Rapunzel."

Bringing Rapunzel and Flynn to Jack was a breath of fresh air in the sorrow that tainted all of their lungs. The glimmering joy in their eyes. The tight urgency of their hugs. The exploding smiles from confirming each other's wellbeing. Their hearts were tied together with strings. If you yanked on one, you pulled the rest along. Rapunzel and Flynn told Jack about their relationship in a mess of blushes and smiles. For a moment, the world around them blurred and they lived for the warmth in their chests. But in the back of their minds, tucked away temporarily, the unsolved issues never left.

When the setting sun wrapped Berk in a golden cloak and the working Vikings returned to the Great Hall for a meal and some sleep, Hiccup walked the route to Helga and Flóki's house. They had volunteered to let Mavis stay there and to care for her, while she was healing and coming out of shock. He knew they had informed her about Jack waking up, so Hiccup would go straight to the point.

A room reflects a person's state of mind. That's what they say. I really hope they're wrong. Only a few candles cast light between the walls. Once, Hiccup might have found the dimness comforting. Mavis lay on the bed with her back to him, curled up in a messy nest of blankets. Her soft crying filled the silence. An untouched plate of food rested on the table. The shutters blocked the sun out like an unwelcome intruder. A barrier between her and curious eyes that melted her defenses. People and their well-meaning words that only made the loneliness stronger. Questions she didn't know the answers to herself yet.

The threshold creaked, as he stepped over it. This room says "Get the Hel out." "Mavis?"

Mavis' body shook. "Go away," she said, her voice small but sharp with bitterness. Hiccup stopped in his tracks. I should have expected it. Memories sailed through his mind. "I just want to talk," he said.

"I don't want to see anyone, Hiccup," she insisted, but he could hear the vulnerability shaking underneath the thin layer of resolve.

"Look…" he said. The floorboards complained as he moved closer to the bed. "I'm the only one you know, who understands what you're going through. The others…they want to be there for you, but they'll never be able to understand, what it means to lose a part of yourself like that. The anger. The shame. The vulnerability. But I know…I've been exactly where you are now."

The silence was a wall between them. He waited for Mavis to tear the bricks apart. He could hear her taking a deep breath.

"Close the door," she whispered.

A smile crept onto Hiccup's lips. The door wailed as he pushed it shut. He pulled up a chair by the bed. Mavis still had her back to him. He wouldn't force her to look at him

"I can still feel it…" Mavis said. "It's like it's still there."

"I'm sorry, Mav…Does it hurt?"

"No."

He breathed a sigh of relief and rested a hand on his leg.

"I…I don't want to feel like it's still there. I don't want…" her voice broke. Her body trembled from the force of her sobs.

Hiccup clenched his hands and fought the impulse to stroke her back. "I know, I know," he said. The dim room turned blurry around him, darkness and golden colors melting together. "It's…it's a reminder. Of what's been taken from you."

Mavis gripped her pillow in a tight embrace. "I feel like I'm not whole anymore," she choked out. "I don't know what I am anymore."

Hiccup blinked a few times and the blurriness vanished. "You're not the same anymore. This has changed you. But that's okay. You can't go through something like this and not change, Mavis. But it doesn't make you weak. Or worthless." His fingers found his leg again. "You're not weak, okay?"

Silence seeped into the air. He watched the flames eat further into the candles. The bed creaked, as Mavis shifted and rolled onto her other side to face him. The glistening streams on her cheeks had his fingers itching to wipe them away.

"Do you…" Mavis said, her eyes hesitant. "Do you wish you had your leg back?"

He filled his lungs and exhaled. It would be so easy to lie. To tell her that someday the pain would vanish like morning dew under a burning sun, leaving only a faint trace behind on the leaf of her memory.

"Every day," he admitted. "But…I wouldn't change what happened, even if I could. I lost it because I protected the ones I care about. And you did the same thing."

Mavis chuckled but there was no joy behind it. "I was ambushed."

"Yes. But you were only here in the first place, because you wanted to help me and everyone else. You were willing to sacrifice your life for your friends. You lost something precious…but you lost it because you were brave and selfless enough to follow us into war."

Mavis sniffled. Her blue eyes gleamed in the light of the candles, but even the golden glow couldn't hide the doubt.

Hiccup sighed. I wish I could convince you. But I know you need time. He got up from the chair and rummaged through the drawer of the nightstand. He pulled out some tissues and gave them to her.

"I don't know what I'm going to tell my dad," Mavis said between sharp breaths. She blew her nose and crumbled up the paper.

"Yeah, I know," he said. Not to mention everyone at Hogwarts. "But we'll figure something out, okay? I promise, I'll help you. We'll all help you."

She nodded against the pillow with the faintest trace of a smile. Her hand clutched the top of the blanket that concealed her missing arm. Hiccup nodded and did his best to give her an encouraging smile. She slowly pulled down the blanket and revealed her stump. Hiccup looked at it with no judgment. It was wrapped in bandages but nonetheless it was a strange sight.

"I can't look at it," Mavis told him. She closed her eyes tight.

"You don't have to," he said. "Not until you're ready. It will take time. But eventually…you won't feel pain when you look at it."

She opened her eyes. "What am I going to do about Jonathan?"

"You're worried he won't love you anymore. Or find you attractive."

"Yes," she whispered and shook her head. "I'm so fucking pathetic…"

"No, you're not. You're one of the strongest people I know. But you're also human. I've had similar thoughts," he admitted and gathered the courage to continue. "Like the first time I let Jack see my stump…I was worried what he would think. I knew he would still love me but…I wasn't sure if it was going to be an obstacle for us to overcome. Something he would love me in spite of. If Jonathan loves you…all that will matter to him is that you're alive and safe."

"I hope you're right," she whispered so softly, he barely heard it.

"I am."

Mavis nodded. A yawn slipped past her lips.

"Have you gotten any sleep today?" he asked.

"I can't sleep…whenever I close my eyes I see it."

"Your…stump?"

"Their faces. The blood. My arm…lying on the ground. I hear their screams."

Hiccup swallowed. A sea of flames flashed in his memory. "I'm so sorry."

"How long before it disappears?"

"I don't know. Sometimes I still dream about it. But…it happens less and less."

"Will this…void inside me ever get better?" she asked.

He could feel his sadness flow into his smile. "It will. Even if it doesn't feel like it at first. The loss, it…it burrowed into me. It made a home for itself. There was this…giant, empty cave inside me that only made my screams so much louder. Made me feel so much smaller."

Tears trickled from Mavis' eyes. Liquid fire in the candlelight. Hiccup imagined that would be how dragons' tears would look like, if they were capable of crying.

"But…" he said. "I realized I had to fill that cave again. I had to push the loss out of me. It takes time and some days you feel like giving up. But in the end, it's worth it. I'm not going to lie to you. There will always be a small hole left. You'll always be reminded of what happened. But you can still be happy. Don't let this ruin your life. Don't let it draw you away from your friends. We're all here for you. It's better to let people help you through this…and you know I'm not just saying that."

"Thank you." Mavis said, "I'm…glad you're here with me. I don't feel so alone now."

Hiccup smiled at her. This time there was only warmth in it. "You're never alone. I'll always be here. And so will the others. But I know they can't help you with this right now. So I'll be here whenever you need me."

Mavis nodded. She reached out her hand and Hiccup took it. He ran his thumb over her knuckles.

"Sometimes I don't know if I'm strong enough for this. I'm not you, Hiccup."

"You think I'm stronger than you?" he said and squeezed her hand. "I'm not. But I chose to fight back…and I know you'll do the same."

Her smile was a sparkler at the end of a tunnel; crackling and glowing, giving them both hope that they would make their way out of the darkness.

~~~~ Jack ~~~~

Even with the memories of war blinking in his mind, the Berkian houses held a special warmth. The rustic planks of wood from floor to ceiling, the soft furs and coarse fabrics covering beds and chairs, the stone fire pits inside every home that wrapped you in a safe cocoon of light. It was true what Hiccup had told him, when they first started spending time together: Berk was a time warp. But the place awoke something inside him. A safety. A comfort. Like the warmth of Hiccup's lips; the scent of freshly made pancakes; the beauty of snowflakes floating from the grey skies.

"That's how your hair got cut off? That was a close call," Hiccup said, watching Rapunzel. He had that look in his eyes; the look of a protective big brother. Knowing Hiccup, he would have blamed himself if anything had happened to her.

"Yeah, it was really close," Rapunzel agreed and leaned back on a pillow against the wall, "It was a good thing Flynn cut it off."

"It was the only thing I could think of, where I wouldn't risk hurting you," Flynn said.

"I'm really glad you're all okay." Mavis' voice was fragile and soft, a delicate layer of snow where none of them could truly know what was beneath. Their eyes drifted to her and no one spoke for a moment. It was the first thing she had said, since they came to see her. She had kept quiet and just listened to their conversations. Sometimes she had nodded or smiled a little, but none of them pushed her to participate. She had spoken to Hiccup and agreed to see them. That was enough for now.

Jack smiled at her. He never looked at her stump or mentioned it. Hiccup had told them it was better to let her decide the pace. "We're really glad you're okay too, Mav. You scared us for a moment there." In the back of his mind were images of Merida and Fishlegs, shoved into the mental drawer of things he didn't want to think about.

"Try hours and hours," Flynn said. "We should've put some garlic in your mouth, Dracula. That would have woken you up."

And there was that smile. The one that made her eyes shine. The one that reminded him of the first time he made her laugh, when they had met on the Hogwarts Express as excited first year students. Shit, how he had missed that smile.

"Yeah, I'm sure that would have worked," Jack said and grinned. "Or just put her in direct sunlight and wait two seconds until she starts to sizzle."

They all chuckled at that, even Mavis. Jack felt like he had created a small refuge in a raging storm.

When they fell silent, Mavis was the first to speak again. She cleared her throat and kept her eyes locked on the fire pit, where the glowing flames twirled. "Look, uhm…I know I need to talk to you guys about…my arm."

"You don't have to do that until you're ready," Rapunzel said.

"I know," she said and opened her mouth to speak again but decided against it.

"Maybe," Hiccup said, "you're ready for everyone to acknowledge that it happened, but you want to wait with the talking."

"Yeah." Mavis nodded. "I think that's a good idea."

"We can do that," Jack said.

"Yeah, anything you need," Flynn agreed, "Just let us know whenever you're ready."

"I will," Mavis said and smiled. She turned to Jack. "You know…there's something else we haven't talked about yet."

"What's that?" he said.

She shook her head. "Jack…that spell you did…the one that created that frost storm?"

"Oh yeah…" he said and shifted on the pillow he sat on.

"You shouldn't have been able to pull that off," she said.

"What spell was that?" Hiccup looked back and forth between them.

"Hiemsfuror," he said.

"You did…that? Successfully?"

"Oh yeah." Flynn's smile was that of a proud big brother. "He wiped out a whole group of enemies with that one spell."

"That's…" Hiccup said, gesturing eagerly with his hands, "Do you know what that means?"

"That I'm more powerful than I thought," Jack said.

"You're more powerful than any of us," Hiccup said, his excited eyes showing just how impressed he was, "But apparently you needed to be under extreme stress to let it out."

Jack nodded. "I wonder if I would be able to do it again. Or if I can put more power into all of my spells now. I guess we'll find out when we go back to school."

The way Hiccup suddenly broke their eye contact made him speak again. "If we go back to school."

Hiccup opened his mouth to speak but closed it when there was a knock on the door. "Chief?" a voice said.

Jack noticed that brief moment of conflict on Hiccup's face. The moment he quickly banished and acted like it never existed. That title wasn't just a word. It was one string in an endless web of responsibilities and now it was all attached to Hiccup.

"Come in," Hiccup said with an edge of authority that Jack hadn't had time to get used to yet.

The creaking door revealed an elderly woman. She reminded Jack of an ancient tree; crooked and bent with endless folds in her skin; grooves carved by knowledge and time. She radiated experience on a level that could make anyone feel inferior, but as she looked to Hiccup, her dark eyes were kind.

"You have news, Sigrún?" Hiccup said, tugging on one of his braids.

Sigrún's bark-like cheeks creased further, as she smiled. "Merida is going to make it."

"What?!", "Really?!", "Oh my god!". Their group erupted. Nothing existed but his friends' laughter and the sparkle in their eyes. Jack wanted to stay in that moment, to let himself float away in that river of joy and relief that washed the blood and screams from their minds. That temporary forgetfulness, the lack of ability to recall bloated corpses and burning flesh for just one sweet, fleeting moment. But of course he couldn't stay. Nothing ever stands still. No relief is permanent.

"How is she?" Hiccup asked, pulling them all to the shore, where their worries tethered them again. Being alive didn't mean being okay and there were a thousand possibilities of how Merida's injuries could chain her for many years to come. Jack once saw a bird with fiery feathers in a small, rusty cage on Diagon Alley. It looked like the kind of bird, who belonged in the open skies, proud and fierce, with the need to see new lands and never be held back. But someone had caged it. Merida could be caged too.

"Exhausted," Sigrún explained with sympathy in her voice, "She only woke up for a brief moment, before she fell asleep again. She's in a lot of pain, so we gave her more pain relief."

Jack nodded. Now was the time to find out what kind of cage Merida would have. "Will she have any permanent damage?"

"Yes."

Jack never knew one word could carry such devastation.

"Oh no," Rapunzel whispered. Flynn rubbed his forehead and struggled to look at anyone.

"The damage was extensive," Sigrún said, folding her hands in front of her stomach like branches shielding her, "If Astrid and Fishlegs hadn't made it back in time with the potions, she would have died. So she will need to be checked out on a regular basis by a muggle doctor, when she goes back home. She might also need surgery in the future, if there are complications in her bowels caused by the scar tissue. We can't really do anything for her here with the tools we have. Flynn told me she plays Quidditch. Depending on how she fully heals, she might not be able to do that or other kinds of sports anymore without risking pain and further complications."

"I understand," Hiccup said, "Thank you. Let us know when she wakes up again, so we can visit her."

"I will, my chief." Sigrún bowed her head and disappeared out the door.

A sniffle brought Jack's attention to Rapunzel. "What's wrong?" he said.

"I just…" She held a hand over her heart. "I'm so grateful we're all alive. I know that we're all damaged in one way or another but…we're all alive. We still have each other."

Flynn put his arm around her and scooted closer. He planted a kiss on the top of her head. "We're all with you on that one, Blondie."

"Yeah," Hiccup agreed. "I never meant for any of you to get involved in this. I don't know how I would have handled it, if any of you had died."

Hiccup didn't have to finish the thought, for Jack to know what he was thinking. Of course he would have held himself responsible.

The night air was a cold finger gliding over his bones, as he stepped into the darkness. He had excused himself to go to the bathroom, and despite Hiccup's offer, he was not going to want help with this. His steps were slow and careful, but every movement had the pain echoing in his chest. Man, I wish there was a potion that could just heal me in an instant.

After he had done his business, admittedly with some difficulty, he spotted movement out of the corner of his eye. Two familiar shapes wandered slowly through the village bathed in pale moonlight. Is that…? Before he could finish the thought, he had zipped his trousers and he hurried towards them. The soreness exploded in his chest like icicles shattering in his veins. He sucked in a breath and held his hands over his ribs. If he didn't know better, he would think they were threatening to poke out of his skin. If Hiccup was here, he would drag him back to bed and call him an idiot for chasing after someone, when he was injured. Jack hated to admit it, but imaginary Hiccup was right. The pain was a harness holding him back and his steps grew slower. The thought that Fishlegs might not even want to see him entered his mind. Hiccup said we should give him time and let him come to us but…leaving the house for the first time in days counts as taking the first step, right? Frozen fists gripped his lungs and he struggled to breathe but Fishlegs was getting further away. He summoned the breath he had left and called out.

Jack recognized his old companion Grief. Fishlegs' red, glassy eyes. His drooping head. His cheeks that seemed less plump than usual. She had done this. Jack remembered being dragged into her murky waters, where withering waterlilies wrapped around his throat, until the taste of rotten algae and bile never left. Where his purifying tears were tainted with mud and burned behind his eyelids. He didn't know how Grief toyed with dragons, but he was used to seeing Hiccup's sketches and drawings of Meatlug as a grinning, drooling lump of scales and teeth. Now her head hung low and the joy had been drained from her yellow eyes.

"Uhm, Fish…I-," he began, "I'd really like to talk to you, if that's okay."

The nod Fishlegs gave was so weak, it was barely noticeable. His agreement to having a talk seemed to come from exhaustion rather than openness, but Jack was going to take what he could get.

"Come on," he said and led the way to a patch of grass behind one of the half-finished houses. It was on the edge of one the cliffs, overlooking the ocean where the glimmering starlight reflected in the water. He slowly sat down, groaning as the throbbing gathered strength.

"Are you okay?" Fishlegs asked and for a moment the lifelessness in his eyes was chased away by concern.

"Yeah, I'll be fine," he said, "It just isn't fully healed yet, so it still hurts."

"Don't strain yourself," Fishlegs said and sat down next to him.

"You sound like Hiccup now," he said and smiled. He held both his hands over his chest like a warm shield.

"I just want you to be okay."

"I know. Thanks," Jack said, "And I want the same for you. But for that to happen…you need to talk to someone."

Fishlegs swallowed and looked out over the darkened sea. The moonlight shone a beam over the ocean like a luminous path into infinity. The water sloshed against the cliffs underneath them like a calming song, encouraging them to start healing after everything that had happened. The sea certainly seemed to have moved on from the death tainting it. Maybe we can do that too someday.

"I just…I can't believe they're really gone," Fishlegs said, keeping his eyes on the endless waters.

"I know how that feels," Jack said, "It's going to take a while to really sink in."

"I already miss them so much," Fishlegs said and wrapped his arms around himself. Meatlug scooted closer to his side.

"And you'll keep missing them. I'll be honest with you: You'll never stop missing them. But…it gets easier."

Fishlegs shook his head and bit his quivering lip, like he was denying that truth.

"It will get easier," Jack insisted and put a hand on Fishlegs' shoulder. His chest felt unprotected now. "I promise you that."

Fishlegs coughed. His eyes shone under the stars from the tears he was trying to hold back. "I know I should listen to you," he said, his voice close to cracking, "But…right now, I don't see how this will get better."

Meatlug put her head in Fishlegs' lap and whined. Fishlegs began to stroke her.

"Yeah, I remember that feeling…" Jack said and squeezed Fishlegs' shoulder. For a moment they simply sat there in silence, watching the moonlight glimmer on the ocean's calm surface. Jack counted the weak waves he could hear splashing against the cliffs. When Fishlegs' spoke again, his voice was stable.

"I wish I could have done something to help them," he said, "Or at least got the chance to say goodbye to them. I knew we might all die in this war but…I guess you never expect it to happen to your parents."

"Yeah…parents always seem so invincible. Like nothing can ever touch them. You feel like no matter what happens, they'll know how to handle it and they'll keep everyone safe," Jack said, as his mind conjured memories he had buried for a long time. The warmth of his mother's arms and the scent of her perfume, when she held him close; fresh and flowery, a soothing garden protecting him from his fears. His father's eyes, where he found reassurance and knowledge, when the world put doubt in his heart. In Jack's young mind, his father seemed to hold the answers to all life's vital questions.

Fishlegs nodded. "I've always felt safe with them. And they always encouraged me to learn as much as I could in life, because they knew that's what I wanted to do. I never wanted to be a warrior. They were so proud when I got into Hogwarts."

"I'm sure they were proud of you before that too."

"Yeah, they were. And I'm proud to be their son."

"I know." Jack smiled and placed his palms on the cool grass, grasping at the soft blades.

"You know…" Fishlegs said, "My mom…she was the one who injured Ivar, before he and Hiccup confronted each other. Gobber told me."

"Wauw…she must have been a great warrior."

"She was. She didn't like to fight. No Ingerman does. But she could hold her own against most enemies."

"That's impressive," he said, before his smile faded, "If it wasn't for her…maybe Hiccup and Toothless wouldn't have been able to defeat Ivar. Maybe…they wouldn't have made it."

"I hadn't thought about it like that," Fishlegs said and picked at some stray hairs on his furry armguards.

"She didn't give her life in vain, Fish."

Fishlegs nodded. "That helps a little…knowing she might have saved Hiccup and Toothless. And maybe others too. Who knows what would have happened, if Ivar hadn't been beaten?"

"I don't even want to think about that. I'm just thankful we won this war."

"Me too," Fishlegs said, "It could easily have gone the other way. We could have lost everything. I just wish my parents could have made it through. And the twins. I don't know what to do now. I don't know how I'm even going to…"

"I understand," Jack said, "It felt that way after my parents died too. It felt like something vital, something I needed to live had been ripped right out of my hands."

"What kept you going through the pain?"

"My sister."

For the first time in the conversation, Fishlegs looked at him. Jack wondered if that look in his eyes, that lost look, like he had no place in the world anymore, was how he had looked after his parents died. "I don't have a sister…or a brother for that matter."

"Yeah, you do," Jack said with a small smile, "And you need to talk to them about this. They're worried sick."

The briefest smile touched Fishlegs' lips. "Yeah…I just couldn't face them yet. Not sure when I'll be able to."

"You need time," Jack said. "I know that's some cliché bullshit that everyone says, but it's true. And there's nothing wrong with needing time. Hiccup and Rapunzel will wait until you're ready to talk about it. We all need to process everything's that's happened. Just don't shut everyone out."

Meatlug grumbled and narrowed her eyes.

"Sorry, Meatlug," Jack said, "I didn't mean 'everyone'. I know you've been there for Fishlegs this whole time. Thank you for that."

Meatlugs' powerful mouth parted in a toothy grin and she flopped down on her belly to relax.

"Yeah, she's been amazing," Fishlegs said with fondness in his eyes. He stroked Meatlug's back. Her yellow eyes glowed under the moon.

"I'm really glad you two have each other. Like Hiccup and Toothless."

"Yeah…the relationship between a dragon and a rider is truly special." For the first time since before the battle, Fishlegs' smile didn't carry sadness.

"I hope I'm lucky enough to experience that someday."

"I'm sure you will," Fishlegs said and his smile disappeared. "I'm thankful nothing happened to Meatlug. I could have easily lost her too."

Jack nodded. He rubbed his arm. "A lot of Berkians seemed to have lost their dragons."

"Yeah," Fishlegs said, "We've all lost someone we loved…dragons or people. Tomorrow is going to be hard for all of us. I just hope I can make it through, so my parents can be sent off to the afterlife properly. That's the least I can do for them."

"Just remember that we're here for you, Fish. You don't have to lock yourself away or pretend to be okay. Use us. We're here to talk or hug or just to sit beside you, whenever you need it. And we'll make sure you get through tomorrow, so your parents can have a proper burial. I promise you that."

The way Fishlegs face softened expressed a gratitude no words ever could.

~~~~ Hiccup ~~~~

The funeral pyres shone golden among the dark trees. The crackling flames; a coarse melody among the Vikings singing an Old Norse funeral song. Swirling clouds of smoke rose into the skies, like their friends and family were turning to dust. Becoming one with the world. Branches and planks splintered in shrieks; sharp and pained like the grief howling in his chest. He had watched his tribesmen place their loved ones and the offerings on the pyres and light them. Family members as well as riders and their dragons shared pyres; a way to symbolize the love they had for each other. A love that would last into the afterlife. His dad was saved for last, being the chief. A funeral ship had been built and now his body rested there, among furs and his favorite possessions in life, along with food and drink offerings. Viking custom dictated that the dead would be given useful and sometimes nostalgic possessions for their journey to the afterlife.

The surviving dragons did their best to comfort their friends and riders, cuddling close to their sides. In their eyes, Hiccup saw the same grief, the same lost feeling. Dragons knew death. They could miss someone. They could mourn and feel empty the same way humans could. For his tribe, dragons were also provided with items for the afterlife. The dragons who had sacrificed their lives were given their saddles, favorite foods and sometimes even toys with them on the funeral pyres. Their scales and teeth glowed among the eager flames. Their inner fire was gone now. It only seemed appropriate that fire carried them out of this world.

Toothless' presence beside him, the roughness underneath his fingers as he stroked his best friend's head, made his heart stronger. They had both cared for these dragons. Hiccup didn't know if it was more merciful to die with your dragon or to survive. I don't know if I could ever survive without Toothless. The riders who had lost their dragons were inconsolable, shaking as they watched the fire eat away at their best friend. Some couldn't throw the torches on the pyres in the first place. Maybe it was because once they set fire to it, it became real.

He glanced next to him, where Jack, Mavis and Merida sat on fur-clad chairs, still too injured to stand up for long periods of time. The tears glimmered on their cheeks like flakes of gold. Mavis rested her head on Merida's shoulder and their hands were locked in a tight grip. Merida had woken up only a few hours before the funeral, but she had insisted on being there to support everyone.

Jack's gaze met his. His blue eyes were blazing lakes beside the pyres. The way his eyebrows lowered and his lips curled in a pained smile told him how much Jack shared his pain. Jack may not have known any of the dead, but he knew him. They were linked; two trees with their roots grown together in endless spirals. They could never let go without ripping.

Rapunzel held Fishlegs' hand as he threw a torch onto his parents' pyre. Hiccup remembered how proud his parents had looked, when he and Fishlegs had started the Berk archive. He remembered the smell of freshly baked flatbread in the Ingerman house and the smiles on their faces, whenever they saw their son.

Hiccup let his gaze drift to Ruffnut and Tuffnut's pyre. Their helmets glistened among the snapping flames. Their weapons had been placed neatly in their hands. It would fill him with blinding happiness if this was just one of their stupid pranks. If they would just jump right off the pyre with those toothy grins on their faces and bask in the satisfaction of pulling off yet another trick. Their parents were sobbing in each other's arms, refusing to look at the pyre. Snotlout and Astrid cried silent tears, their tough exterior crushing under the weight of grief. Barf and Belch lowered their heads to the ground. Stormfly and Hookfang curled their tails around them like comforting arms.

The flames flowed like watercolors in Hiccup's vision, as he let tears fall. He wiped his eyes with a sleeve and felt Jack's hand on his back. What he would give to have the twins back. To hear their coarse laughter and their fearless battle cries. But they were silenced forever.

Rapunzel cried softly as she led Fishlegs back to them. Meatlug stayed by Fishlegs' side like a protective barrier. Hiccup shared a look with Fishlegs that didn't need to be tainted with words; they were both orphans now but they would be there for each other. Flynn put an arm around both Rapunzel and Fishlegs and squeezed, a minor comfort that could mean so much in times where someone's world seemed to crack above them like eggshells.

The flames sank their teeth into the wood with more urgency. Each pyre was a forest of golden autumn foliage that swayed and cracked in the evening wind. He could no longer see the bodies among the fire, except the bigger dragons. Soon there would be burial mounds here; small hills raised above the ashes, with gravestones and flowers in the soil.

Gobber put a hand on Bucket's shoulder, as they watched the fire consume Mulch. The mourning song amongst his tribesmen grew louder, their voices scraped raw by the nails of grief. Hiccup wanted to join them, but there was nothing but lumpy silence in his throat. He could hear Fishlegs' quivering voice trying to sing along on some parts of the song.

Hiccup didn't know how much time passed. Jack's hand rubbing his back and the feasting flames was all he could take in, as he stared at the pyres.

When Gobber came up next to him and Jack let go, he knew what was going to happen now.

"Hiccup…it's time," Gobber said. Hiccup couldn't remember having ever heard his voice this gentle.

He nodded and took a deep breath. He followed Gobber to the ship sitting tall and proud on the ground next to the roaring pyres. He had chosen this spot for the funerals because it was one of his dad's favorite spots; in the forest but high above the level of the village, so he could look out over it.

Ships were valuable and took a long time to build. Therefore, they were reserved for chiefs and other high ranking people's funerals. Thick furs covered his dad's body from view, but the sight of his helmet and his favorite axe had Hiccup turn his gaze away. Toothless nudged his side for comfort. He let a hand glide over the railing. "I'm sorry, dad. I'm not the chief that you wanted me to be and I'm not the peacekeeper I thought I was. I…don't know…" he said, low enough for only him, Toothless and Gobber to hear it.

Gobber turned to the crowd. "A great man has fallen!" Only Hiccup was close enough to see the tears in his eyes. "A warrior. A chieftain. A father. A friend. We will give him the burial he deserves and we will remember him in our hearts."

Gobber gave him a nod. Hiccup stepped forward and Toothless sat down next to him. The sea of pained eyes prickled on his skin.

"I, uh…for a long time, I was so afraid of becoming my dad. Mostly because I thought I never could. How-how do you become someone that great, that brave, that selfless? I guess you can only try." He swallowed and his throat burned. "It's time to say goodbye to my dad…He was a great chief. The best Berk could have hoped for. He never hesitated to put the people of Berk before himself. He never wanted bloodshed, if it could be avoided. He was a wise leader. And he was a great dad. We haven't always seen eye to eye, but no matter what happened, he always loved me and wanted to keep me safe." He tried to keep up his mental defenses, to keep the memories locked out until he was finished speaking. But images of his dad crashed through the gates and for a moment, words had thorns and buried themselves in the skin of his throat, refusing to come out. Tears made their way down his cheeks; warm and slithering like the underbelly of a snake. His dad was gone. Swallowed by the afterlife, if there was such a thing. He would never feel his strong arms wrap around him in a tight hug. He would never hear his booming voice, loud in both anger and joy. He would never be able to ask him for advice, or see the proud gleam in his eyes, when they had one of their rare heart to heart talks. He was gone. Soon, there would be nothing left but bones.

"Hiccup," Gobber said. The pained smile on his face showed he understood.

Hiccup cleared his throat. "I, uh…I'm not a great speaker like my dad was. There's nothing I can say that will make the pain go away. Every one of us has lost someone we loved. Good people. Good dragons. They died to protect us. To protect our home. And we won't forget that. We will never forget what they did for us. And neither will future generations. We will put up burial mounds and rune stones here, so every persons' and dragons' sacrifice will be remembered, even long after we're all gone."

Agreeing murmurs, nods and eyes flashing with sudden pride gave Hiccup strength to continue. Gobber handed him a shovel. Hiccup dug it into the earth and threw the first soil onto the burial ship. Gobber grabbed a shovel as well, and they quickly covered his dad's body in the fresh dirt. It took a long time to bury most of a ship, so the rest of the work would come later.

Gobber nodded to Bucket and Silent Sven, who began passing around cups and pouring golden mead into them. When everyone had been poured a cup of mead, it was time to move on to the next part. Hiccup raised his cup and everyone else followed his example.

"Deyr fé [Cattle die]

deyja frændr [Kinsmen die]

deyr sjálfr et sama [The self also dies]

ek veit einn [I know of one thing]

at aldri deyr [That never dies]

dómr um dauðan hvern [The judgment of a dead man's life]" he said, quoting a verse from the Hávámal that was always used at their funerals. "To the dead!" he said.

"To the dead!" the crowd echoed his words. Everyone drank from their cups; alcohol flowing across their tongues to the sound of snapping flames. The dragons lifted their heads and spewed fire into the glimmering skies as a tribute.

Gobber gestured to the rows of burning pyres. "May every one of these brave Vikings be chosen by the Valkyries and brought to Odin's or Freyja's halls. The places where enemies have been defeated. Where they will see their kin again. Where they will reside among gods and the bravest warriors in history, until Odin needs their help to defeat the Jötnar, when Ragnarok comes upon this world. Let us drink again to our lost ones. Their sacrifice can never be honored enough. To the dead!"

"To the dead!" everyone agreed and emptied their cups. The dragons unleashed their flames into the air once more. Talk about the gods and Valhalla and Folkvangr gave Hiccup little comfort. He had never truly been a believer. But he knew that for some of his fellow Berkians, the thought of their loved ones being well and celebrated in the afterlife was all that kept them going through their grief.

The guilt poked at his ribs, as he stepped forward to speak. He met Jack's eyes and found that unwavering support. "I know that we've all suffered enough. That we just want time and peace to rest now. But there's one more thing we need to overcome, before Berk can rise again after everything that's happened."

Confused murmurs rushed through the crowd. Gobber gave him a nod. Toothless let out a soft, supportive warble next to him.

"I…there's something I need to tell you," Hiccup said. "Something that could determine whether you want me as your chief or not. Tomorrow night we will have a meeting in the Great Hall and I will explain the situation to you. The quicker we deal with it, the quicker Berk can get back on its feet. But tonight we remember our loved ones. The ones who gave their life so we could continue ours. So when the pyres are finished burning, we will go to the Great Hall and celebrate them the Viking way. We'll eat and drink in their honor, we'll ask the gods to watch over them and we'll share our memories of them and be grateful that we at least got to have them in our lives."

The rest of the evening was sadness and joy swirling together. Some Berkians made toasts and speeches about the lost ones, some recited poems that captured their feelings or told funny or touching stories about those they had lost. At times there were tears shed for those people, they would never get back. At other times, they shared laughter and smiles from remembering the precious times they had been given. But people handle grief differently and Berkians were no exception. In the span of the evening, different situations arose; some descended into depression and needed comfort, some tried to drink their way through the pain and had to be forced to go to bed, others had decided to overpower the emotional pain with the physical kind and had to be pried apart before they knocked each other unconscious. But for most of the Berkians they merely tried to get through the evening by talking about their loved ones and sharing some food and drink with their friends and family.

Hiccup wanted to be anywhere but in the Great Hall. Being around everyone after the funeral was like picking apart his emotional shield. But he was the chief now and he had responsibilities that came before his own needs. Luckily, Jack, Toothless and the others were there for emotional support. He spent most of the evening with his friends as well as Snotlout. He, Astrid and Snotlout entertained the others with stories about the twins' wild pranks and crazy experiments. About their humor and their recklessness. Their love for their dragon. Their loyalty to the ones they cared for. Fishlegs wasn't ready to talk about his parents or the twins yet, but they managed to get a few smiles out of him during the entertaining stories. Hiccup struggled to tell Jack, Mavis, Merida and Flynn about his dad. About the way their relationship had grown from tense to accepting. About the stories he could finally laugh about, where he had exasperated his dad to no end. About the times where his dad had shown a softer side. But the urge to get the emotions out, to form them into words and share them with those experiencing the same was stronger than the impulsive to isolate himself. Jack held his hand under the table and brushed fingers over his knuckles, when something became difficult to talk about.

Mavis and Merida had been sent off to bed, as the night dragged on. They still needed plenty of rest to recover. The healers preferred that Jack rest too, but Jack refused to leave his side.

When he closed the doors to the Great Hall and stepped into the night air, the noise vanished from his brain like fading fireworks. The silence wrapped him in sweet nothingness, as he sat down on the chilly stone steps. Despite the half-finished houses, the village beneath looked so peaceful in the soft moonlight. Grey clouds swam among the stars, like swirling paint in a bowl of water.

He had meant for this break to be calming but the thoughts wouldn't stop floating in his mind. What would his dad think of all of this? Would he be proud of him or think he was handling this all wrong? What about the future? What would happen after tomorrow? Maybe he would be forced to leave his home forever. Banished, like he had committed a crime by falling in love. How would his dad feel about that? I wish you were here, dad.

The doors to the Great Hall whined as they were opened and then closed. Footsteps approached. Or more accurately, a footstep and a prosthetic-step approached. Hiccup didn't have to look to know who it was. "I miss him," he said and rested his elbows on his knees.

"I miss him too," Gobber said and sat down next to him on the stone steps, "He was my best friend. We've been together for so many years. Of course I always knew there was a risk of losing him…it's not exactly a risk-free lifestyle we're leading here but I guess no matter how much I expected it, I wasn't ready."

Hiccup stared at a group of dark clouds moving in front of the moon like a smoky veil.

"So…" Gobber said, "Want to talk about whatever's going on in that busy mind of yours?"

"What?"

"Come on, Hiccup…I know you miss your dad. But there's something specific bothering you. I can tell."

Hiccup's sigh came out like a shaky ghost in the chilly air. "Well…I'm having a lot of thoughts about how my dad would feel about all of this. If he would approve of the way I'm handling it. But…I guess what it really comes down to is whether he would be proud of me and accept me."

"Hiccup," Gobber said, "I remember when you were born. Your mother was so worried you wouldn't survive. But Stoick…he never doubted. He always said you'd become the strongest of them all. And he was right." Gobber's hand rested on his shoulder. There was a fatherly twinkle in his eyes that Hiccup had never seen before. "He saved you. And he was very proud of you. It was a good death."

Hiccup fiddled with his hands. "I just can't help but wonder…if he had known about me and Jack…would he still be proud of me? Or would he have cast me out?"

"He would have been proud of you, nonetheless."

"How do you know? How can you be so sure he would have accepted this side of me?"

Gobber sighed and turned his eyes to the glowing moon. "Because he accepted me."

"What?"

"There's a reason I never got married or had children."

"Oh…" he said, as the words sunk in. Gobber is…? He couldn't help but stare. "Gobber, I-I never knew."

"No one did. Except your father," Gobber said and chuckled, "You should have seen him when he found out. Ever the boar-headed stubborn Viking…"

"He didn't take it well at first?"

"Oh, gods no," Gobber smiled, "But I don't blame him. We were young. Stoick had just been made chief. He was eager to prove to everyone that he could keep hold of the traditions and secure the future of the tribe. You know how your dad was...he's always been a man of tradition. He found it difficult to handle that his best friend was breaking one of the strongest norms in Viking culture."

"So what changed?"

"I gave him some space and some time," Gobber said, meeting his eyes again, "Eventually, he came around. He apologized to me, told me he had realized that it didn't matter. That I was still the same person."

The relief turned his breaths shaky. He looked at the houses below them, where candles flickered in some of the windows. He had hoped that Jack could move here and be accepted by his dad. That they could be a family. "I wish I could have told him. He died, not knowing this part of me. Not knowing I've found the person I want to share my life with. He never even got to meet Jack."

"He met him," Gobber said, "It was in the middle of the battle but…he saw Jack. He saw him defend our home and our people. Spill his blood the same way we spilled ours. Stoick knew Jack is a good person. Someone who is worthy of you. Even if he didn't know exactly what your relationship is."

"Thank you," he said and put his face in his hands. He breathed out heavily. When he looked up again, he smiled at Gobber. "It…it helps. Knowing my dad wouldn't have disowned me. That I wouldn't have destroyed our relationship."

"Of course you wouldn't have. Don't get me wrong, he would have threatened to pull that boy's testicles out through his throat, if he ever hurt you. He would have kept a suspicious eye on him. He would have kept his walls up. But eventually, he would come around. And he would have accepted it and been happy for you. I know that."

Hiccup nodded, as he let the words comfort him. "I wish he was here."

"Me too," Gobber said, "Me too."

~~~~ Jack ~~~~

"I'm going to be there," he said, shifting to get out of Hiccup's bed. Outside the shutters, night had descended on Berk, and it was time for the tribe meeting in the Great Hall. The meeting where Hiccup would tell everyone the truth about their relationship. Where he would risk his future so they could be together. Jack had fought to come along but each time he brought it up, Hiccup refused.

"No. You're not," Hiccup said, standing in the doorway. He folded his arms and looked more like a stern parent than his boyfriend.

Toothless came closer to the bed. Jack groaned as he used his tail to force him to lie down again. "Hiccup!" he protested, "I need to protect you. This is fucking humiliating."

Hiccup took two steps closer. "I'm not in life-threatening danger, okay? The worst that could happen is people calling me horrible things."

"Then I definitely need to be there!" He tried to sit up, but Toothless' tail came back and held him down. "Come on, you can't restrict me to this fucking room! This is about both of us, not just you! I need to be there!"

"No," Hiccup said. There was no room for bargaining in his voice. "I'll be having enough trouble controlling my own temper, if someone says something about you. I can't have you there too, potentially getting into a fight and injuring yourself. You still need to rest."

"I've had enough rest for a life-time!" He groaned and rolled his eyes. "Let me come along!"

"It's only been a few days, Jack," Hiccup said and shook his head, "If you don't rest properly, you're only going to make your recovery longer."

Jack rolled his hands into fists. "Why do you always have to make sense?"

"It's a curse." Hiccup smiled at hm.

"I just want to be there to support you."

"I know. But I can handle myself."

"Yeah, you can. I just don't want you to go through it alone."

"I won't be alone," Hiccup said and patted Toothless' head. "I have Toothless. And Astrid and Fishlegs."

"Yeah, that's true…" Jack agreed, though the words were reluctant to leave his mouth.

"Look," Hiccup said and sat down on the bedframe. Jack smiled when Hiccup brushed his fingers through his white hair. "I know you want to be there to help me. But that would only make it more difficult for me, because I'd be worrying about you. And whatever is going to be said at that meeting…you don't need to hear that. Yes, this is about both of us. But I'm the leader of this tribe, so this is something the tribe needs to deal with on its own."

"Yeah, I understand," he said, his smile vanishing. "But I'm not happy about it. Just know that whatever happens…we'll handle it."

"Thank you," Hiccup said and planted a kiss on his forehead.

"Toothless," he said and Toothless snapped his head towards him. "I'm counting on you to protect Hiccup, okay? Keep him safe for me and support him."

Toothless warbled in agreement. There was a protectiveness in his eyes that Jack recognized from himself. Hiccup was always in good paws around Toothless. That didn't change the fact that Jack wanted to be there himself too. But since he couldn't walk very far or use magic yet, he had no choice but to stay in this room and hope for the best.

When the door shut and he was left alone, the strange combination of nervousness and anger clenched his insides. He tried to keep himself occupied with reading and drawing, so the time would pass faster, but it was impossible to stay focused, when Hiccup might come back with more sharp teeth marks in his self-esteem. His boyfriend was about to make himself vulnerable in front of his entire tribe. They had hurt him before. They could do it again. Please be all right, Hiccup. I swear, they're going to need those gods of theirs, if they damage you.

~~~~ Hiccup ~~~~

Nervous murmurs. Curious eyes. Tense shoulders and jaws. The energy in the Great Hall was like the shadows from the fire pits; wriggling and unpredictable. A dance of uncertainty. His fellow Berkians were seated around the tables closest to the little stone podium, waiting for the meeting to begin. Most had mugs of beer in their hands, but few drank from them. The massive fire pit in the center of the hall glowed and warmed like their own little sun in a miniature universe. Toothless stood next to him, his eyes already wary. Astrid and Fishlegs had decided to join him on the stone podium, sitting on chairs behind him. His friends' company was a comfort to him. At least they could be counted on, now that the uncertainty chewed on his nerves with its rotten teeth. He shifted his weight from one leg to the other and tried to memorize the carvings on the wooden pillars. Maybe it would be the last time he saw them.

When the last Berkians entered the Hall and took their place among the others, it was time to begin. Gobber gave him an encouraging nod.

Hiccup stepped forward. The murmurs and whispers vanished like frightened birds. "My fellow Berkians," he said, "My dad is gone and…there's nothing I can say to make it easier. He taught me a lot of things about what it means to lead a tribe, and it was his dream that I would take over after him." He fiddled with one of his armguards. "But I can't do that without getting everything out in the open first. What I have to tell you will make some of you look at me in a different light. Maybe you'll even…despise me."

Looking into all the familiar faces ached in his chest. All of those eyes that had once been hateful and judgmental, then kind and even proud. Now they were threatening to return to hate. "I can't be your chief without being honest about who I am. I've hidden it for a long time but…with everything's that's happened recently, it's time to let it out. Tomorrow, there will be a vote on whether you want me to be chief or elect a new chief. So take some time to think about what you want for this tribe."

Mumbling broke out among the crowd. Hiccup saw Björn and Snotlout talking and Snotlout shrugged. Gobber tried to hush the Vikings around him. Hiccup felt the tension of the room buzz underneath his skin. Astrid's and Fishlegs' presence behind him and Toothless by his side helped him gather his courage to continue.

"I know," he said, raising his voice. The mumbling died down. "That many of you were expecting and maybe even hoping, that Astrid and I would eventually become a couple. That we would start a family together." He glanced behind him and received a supportive nod from Astrid. "But we're just friends…and I've already found the love of my life."

Hiccup took a deep breath, but the stress kept humming in his blood. His heart pumped like he was lost in the snow and needed vital warmth. "You all know my friends from Hogwarts by now. They helped us win this war. Without them, we might have lost. Actually…we probably would have lost."

Nods and low agreements went through the crowd. The sparks of gratitude in his tribesmen's eyes was a brief comfort. At least they remember what Jack and the others did for us.

"They all mean the world to me." His palms were moist enough to put out the fire pit. His eyes drifted across the crowd and settled on Gobber's accepting face. At least I have those I love most. Toothless and Jack. My friends. Gobber. No matter what happens, I still have them. He slowly exhaled to try and calm his frantic heartbeat that went faster and faster. Louder and louder. This is it. "And during the last nine months, I fell in love with one of them." His throat tightened. He clenched his hands in sweaty fists. Was that his pulse he could hear on the inside of his skull? "And now I can't imagine my life without…Jack."

Jack's name sent Berkians jumping out of their seats. A shrieking chaos of noise erupted, as his tribesmen yelled and screamed. It was impossible for him to understand any words at first, but the sudden wave of aggression had him clenching the strap of Toothless' saddle. Toothless leaned against his leg to remind him of his presence. Hiccup tried to ignore the dread pumping in his blood and watched the crowd carefully. A few Berkians were still too shocked for a reaction and simply stared at him with open mouths, while others had stopped yelling at him and had turned on each other.

"What?!" Björn yelled to the ones around him and gestured to Hiccup. "What the fuck?! We can't have someone like him as our chief!"

Toothless got to his feet and snarled. Hiccup placed a hand on his head.

"You don't know what you're talking about!" Astrid came charging from behind him and went straight towards Björn with furious steps.

"Oh really?!" Björn said and leaned closer. Their faces were only inches apart. "A few years ago, you couldn't give a shit about Hiccup, and now you're actually defending him, knowing something like this!?"

The rage in Astrid's eyes could be enough to set the Hall ablaze. "Of course I am! It doesn't matter who he wants to be with! He'll be an amazing chief!"

"Astrid!" Flóki interrupted and put a hand on Astrid's shoulder to push her away from Björn. "You can't be serious! He has no honor!" He pointed to him. "He's…he's weak!"

There was that word again. Weak. No matter how much he tried to imagine Jack's voice in his head saying "You're not weak", there was a stinging behind his ribs that wouldn't disappear.

Growls vibrated in Toothless' throat and Hiccup focused on stroking his best friend's rough scales. "Calm down, bud," he whispered. "I know it's hard but we need to just let them get all their feelings out in the open for now."

"What are you even talking about!?" Astrid yelled and kicked a wooden pillar. "Weak!? No honor!? Have you forgotten everything he's done for us!?"

Helga came storming past Astrid and Flóki in a blur of grey hair and brown dress. Her round face was distorted with rage. Harald was at her heels, yelling after her. "Helga! He's…he's…rassragr*!"

Helga spun around without taking another step. She shoved him backwards with the power of her anger. "What the fuck did you just call him?!"

"You heard me!" he said, his nose wrinkling in a sneer. Hiccup remembered the time Harald had helped him test some of the inventions he had made for Toothless' saddle. Now his face was scrunched in disgust, like the mere thought of Hiccup was enough to be repulsed.

"I'm not talking to you anymore, you fucking idiot!" she screamed in his face and stomped into the crowd.

All around him Berkians were at each other's throats. The ones in shock had processed the news and joined the heated debate. Dozens of different conversations overlapped each other in a screeching inferno of noise. Hiccup watched them; their murderous eyes, their threatening gestures, their rapidly moving mouths. He tried to figure out who supported him, who didn't and who was in doubt, while that familiar, nauseating void of being the tribe failure grew inside him. Once again, I'm the source of conflict. And maybe tomorrow will be the last time I even see any of them again. He caught fragments of the yelling matches around him, some of the words already gathering sticks to make nests in his mind, probably intent on staying there permanently.

"- isn't what Stoick would have wanted!"

"How do you know what Stoick would have wanted!?"

"-can't be chief!"

"Someone like him is-"

"If we have someone like him as our chief, no one will respect us anymore!"

"How can you know that? We took a chance with the dragons because Hiccup showed us another way! This can be like that too!"

"He would want his son to be chief!"

"Not like this, this is-"

"-the gods won't approve!"

"How do you know what the gods want!?"

"SHUT UP!" Fishlegs' scream cut through the noise like a fresh blade. He shot up from his seat with a surprising speed. "JUST! SHUT! UP! SHUT UP! NOW!"

The roar of the arguing Vikings came to a sudden halt. A sea of tense faces stared at Fishlegs. Some were murmuring to each other, seemingly surprised that nervous and gentle Fishlegs of all people would react this way. Hiccup couldn't disagree.

Fishlegs clutched a part of his tunic between his fingers like a lifeline. Hiccup wanted to pull him into a hug but now wasn't the time. Fresh tears rested on his round cheeks, but his eyes held an unfamiliar anger.

"Hiccup…" he said, gazing out over the crowd, "is one of the greatest people I know. He's clever, he's brave and he knows more about dragons than anyone. He's saved this village and all our lives several times. You owe your lives to him and Toothless. You owe your friendship with your dragons to him and Toothless. Hiccup has sacrificed himself for the rest of us more than once! And just one of the things he's lost in the process is his leg. He thinks about us before himself. He's giving you this chance to reject him and elect a new chief without having to overthrow him. That alone should tell you that he'll be a great chief for all of us. And now…now you're willing to just throw all that away? To just forget everything that he's done for you? To just cast aside an amazing leader? And for what? Because he's in love with a guy instead of a girl. That's it! That's what you're willing to cast him out for. For loving someone!" Fishlegs chuckled without humor and threw his arms in the air. "But you know what?" his eyes darted around the room like he had no idea where to look, "if you're going to punish him for love, you are all morons." Fishlegs' met his eyes and Hiccup could see the resolve underneath the sadness; loyal and unwavering. "And I swear to Thor…that if Hiccup is banished from here…Meatlug and I will leave Berk with him."

Astrid took a step closer to them. "So will Stormfly and I," she said without hesitation. She glanced at the other Berkians, daring anyone to challenge that decision.

Hiccup had lost the ability to speak. The words bubbled in his mind but refused to enter the world. The mumbling increased among the crowd. Different emotions flickered across his tribesmen's faces; curiosity, anger, pride, doubt. His tribe was conflicted and he was the reason. Voting is the right thing to do. That's the only way to solve this.

Out of the uneasy crowd, Snotlout came to him with tension in his jaw. Hiccup held his breath, as his cousin placed a heavy hand on his shoulder. When their eyes met, he could breathe again.

"Me and Hookfang will go with you too," Snotlout said and nodded like he needed to confirm the decision to himself.

The warmth in Hiccup's veins left a smile on his lips. Snotlout stood up for him, but he struggled and Hiccup knew the reason why.

"Snotlout!" Spitelout made his way through the other Vikings. Cue the reason why.

"Dad," Snotlout said in a firm tone, Hiccup was sure he had never used with his dad before. "This is the right thing to do."

Spitelout reminded him of a squeezed berry; his skin red and about to burst. He hadn't expected understanding from his uncle, but it stung nonetheless.

Björn stepped closer to Spitelout. "That's all well and good!" he said, gesturing wildly to Snotlout, Astrid and Fishlegs. "But how can we defend ourselves from our enemies if we have…someone like him as our leader!" He glared at Hiccup. "He really is a fucking hiccup! Everyone is going to think we're a joke! No one can take someone like him seriously!"

"No one can take me seriously either then?" Gobber's voice rang out.

Hiccup's heart paused behind his ribs. His eyes found Gobber, as he came closer. Björn's lips parted in a silent gasp. The other Berkians spoke in hushed voices, the disbelief flowing through the crowd.

Flóki's eyes stared back and forth from Gobber to him. "W-what are you talking about, Gobber?"

Gobber stopped next to Hiccup and his presence was a calming hand on his anxiety. "I'm like Hiccup. Would you still say people like us can't be taken seriously? Or have no honor? I've fought with you Flóki…with most of you here!" He swung his hand out and gestured to the crowd. "We've bled together and buried our friends and family together. We've rebuilt our homes together time and time again. I've helped raise your kids and train them. Now I help train your dragons too. Do you really see me differently now, after all we've been through together?"

"I…didn't know," Flóki said, his eyes turning to the floor.

"No, you didn't," Gobber said, his harsh voice a contrast to his mild being. "Because the time was never right. I would never have been accepted by you all in the past."

Hiccup saw glimpses of shame and regret in some of his tribesmen's faces. Others had focused their glares on Gobber instead of him.

"But now," Gobber continued, "now Hiccup is changing Berk in so many ways. Think about how reluctant you all were to make peace with the dragons. Now they are family. This is one of those changes we have to make. It's time."

Hiccup stepped in front of Gobber. He banished his anxiety to the foggy corners of his mind. "Everyone…tomorrow you'll vote on whether you still want me to be your leader or not. You have a tough choice to make, and squabbling with each other won't make it easier. Go home and think about what you want for Berk. We'll meet up again here tomorrow by sunset and you'll decide what the future of the tribe will be."

It didn't take long for the Hall to clear out. Hiccup supposed everyone wanted to discuss this in more private settings. Those whose homes had been burnt down, stayed with those who still had houses standing. Some gave him disgusted looks as they left, others had a more sympathetic shine in their eyes.

Seeing an end to the meeting left a weary relief inside him. After talking to Gobber, Fishlegs, Astrid and Snotlout and thanking them for their support, he headed home to tell Jack about what had happened. Astrid and Fishlegs promised to update the others. Every one of them had begged to be there, but Hiccup had told them the same thing he told Jack.

He was grateful to find the village empty, when he and Toothless walked along the paths. The gravel crunched under his weight. The fire pits left a warming glow in the windows; a welcoming atmosphere in a place that seemed so cold to him right now. He could hear people speaking inside some of the homes but tuned them out. Knowing he would be the subject of discussion everywhere tonight left a familiar uneasiness in his core. Weak. Useless. Dishonorable. Sounds familiar. I don't need to hear it again.

"Did they call you…?" was the first question that left Jack's mouth, when he and Toothless returned home.

Hiccup's bones were heavy under his skin, like the words and the rage of his tribesmen had settled there. But Jack was still under the covers, resting, and the combination of his boyfriend and a soft bed to lie down in seemed magical for his weary mind and body.

"Oh yes," he said and sat down on the bed. He removed his boot and sock. "And a whole lot more."

"Shit…" Jack said and reached out to rub his lower back.

"Yeah," he said, as he slipped his shirt off over his head. "I really just need to get some rest now. I feel completely drained."

"Come here." Jack held his arms out. Hiccup moved under the blankets, before Jack pulled him into a spooning position.

His skin. His scent. His voice. Hiccup let himself take it all in, as he sank into his boyfriend's arms.

"No matter what happens, we'll figure it out," Jack said, "We have each other. And Toothless. And all of our friends. I really hope your tribe will see reason but…if they don't, we'll figure something out."

"I know. But thanks. It's nice to hear you say it."

Jack's lips were soft and warm on his neck. "Anytime, Dragon Boy."

"I'm just worried. In one meeting I've managed to tear the tribe apart. And I'm not sure what it will take to fix it. If the solution is me leaving Berk forever. Or if I can be a good chief and repair the bonds between all of us."

Jack tightened the embrace. "You'd make an amazing chief, Hic. And if they still want you as their leader, I know you can make it work again."

He squeezed Jack's hand. "Thanks for believing in me."

"I always will," Jack said and nuzzled against his neck.

Hiccup smiled. Jack could always make the pain blur for a while. Give him a safe haven so he could gather his strength. "I guess it's just a waste of energy to worry so much."

"What do you mean?" Jack asked, mumbling into his skin.

"There's nothing any of us can do about it anyway," he said. "It's in their hands now."

---

Author's note:

So…thoughts? We're getting close to the end now. The next chapter will be the last one.

Eir: Norse goddess of healing.

Rassragr: A Viking insult. It basically means that a person is the bottom in homosexual sex, which was very shameful in Viking culture, because being submissive in sex, according to the Vikings, also meant that you couldn't defend yourself and stand up for what you thought was right. If someone called you rassragr, you were allowed to kill them without getting punished for it. That says something about how serious an insult this was, yes?

Guest reviews:

Guest who had questions about Toothless flying by himself and Hiccup finding the bow: Toothless can fly by himself in this story, as long as Hiccup adjusts the settings on the tail fin. And Hiccup got the bow when he killed an enemy and took it from him. And thank you for the compliments, I'm glad you love the story :)

Guest who called me an asshole for putting them in feelsland: Thank you, it makes me happy that you love the story so much! And you're definitely not the only one who both hates and loves me. I think most of my readers feel that way XD