When the deadbeat samurai, the scarred woman, and the dirty man entered the house they found a scene that to be honest was probably expected by everyone. Kagura, Shinpachi, and Sadaharu were sprawled unconscious on the floor as Otae sat on one of the couches and smiled and greeted the three as they entered. "Ah you are finally here. I made some omelets but they were already eaten so you are too late."
Gintoki clapped his hands together and prayed a quick prayer and thanks for being late while Koga looked with concern and confusion at the people on the ground and asked, "Are they alright?"
"Oh don't worry about them they are just resting after eating." Otae said with the same smile before realizing that he is a stranger. "Who are you?"
"He's a customer so wake those two up." Gintoki said with a smile at the thought of money.
After a few minutes of reviving the two unconscious kids and the dog, some explaining, and finding a passed out Otose in the bathroom who could not be revived and therefore moved downstairs, they all sat around the table.
"So we are accepting his request now Gin-san? Why didn't we just help him out before?" Shinpachi asked.
"Well he's finally talking about money now and not some bleeped out leader's name." Gintoki dug at some earwax in annoyance. He couldn't really figure out why he had changed his mind either. Maybe it was because Hinowa being hurt made it more real or maybe because Tsukuyo was crying...he shook his head as his train of thought went off track. The only thing he was sure about was this request would lead back to that man and he needed to make sure Shinpachi and Kagura weren't there next time.
"We just have to go down and crush those Planet Destroyers. They'll pay for hurting our friend, yes!" Kagura said while clenching her fist having almost fully recovered already from the previous attack.
"It won't be easy." Koga explained. "They may not all be the best fighters but the leader is and his four generals are as well. Each one is said to have destroyed a planet by themselves."
"Speaking of which. How are they planning to destroy Earth?" Tsukuyo asked.
"A forbidden technology that they stole from some galactic empire. I only joined up recently so I don't know too much. The good news is that because of..." He glanced over at Tsukuyo before continuing. "...The earthquake, they won't activate the machine again for at least two days."
"So we can attack tomorrow with plenty of time to take them down." Gintoki summarized.
"Yes. but be prepared for any-" the customer of the Yorozuya was interrupted as the door to the house slammed open to reveal the Shinsengumi.
"Oh Koga-san." The demonic vice-chief stressed and furious. "We came to pick you up."
"A-ah. H-hijikata-san." Koga sputtered out as his face paled. "T-thank you for coming to pick me up."
Hijikata walked over while ignoring the silver haired owner of the house complaining about trespassing and grabbing the dirty man by the back of his shirt and dragging him out. "Hey you just can't steal my customer from me like that you mayo freak." the owner spat out.
He turned around with venom in his voice. "This man is in the custody of the police so I can charge you with harboring a criminal right now if I wanted to. As it is though I want you to forget everything he just told you." He left while dragging the other man behind him without another word.
"The tax robbers get away with yet another crime." Gintoki mocked before turning to the remaining group and holding up a wallet. "Well I already accepted payment from him so be prepared for tomorrow. We are going to save the world...again."
Kagura and Shinpachi cheered ironically while Sadaharu barked and Otae clapped. Tsukuyo smirked at the scene and left fairly quickly so that she could get her Hyakka working on finding the planet destroyers.
The night passed uneventfully for the Yorozuya while the Hyakka tracked down the enemy. Tsukuyo and Shinpachi woke the very regretful Gintoki and Kagura up before heading outside of Edo to the countryside. There they found a giant hole in the middle of a forest that was surrounded by Shinsengumi officers.
"Wow." Gintoki marveled at the scene in front of them. "Who knew the police could actually get up early and do something?"
"Gin-san." Shinpachi said with disappointment. "It isn't early. It took us forever to wake up the two of you and so it is already one in the afternoon."
Gintoki ignored him and continued. "So we go with the plan that we sneak into the tunnel while the Hyakka distract the Shinsengumi with sex." He barely finished speaking before a kunai was thrown into his head by a red faced Tsukuyo.
Kagura and Shinpachi wailed over Gintoki's dead body as Tsukuyo gave some quick instructions to her group. They spread out and soon cries could be heard from the cops as they began moving out to counter the Hyakka. Tsukuyo, Shinpachi, Kagura, and Gintoki, after being revived, made their way quickly through the chaos that included smoke bombs and flying kunai. The four quickly dived into the hole but not before they were noticed by a certain sandy haired sadist captain and the demon vice-chief.
Hijikata tsked as the chaos broke out and watched as the group went into the hole. "Damn those bastards to hell." He yelled out some quick orders to his men before grabbing a now relatively clean Koga. "Damn you to hell too for getting them involved."
Koga only chuckled as he was dragged into the hole by Hijikata. Sougo and Kondou followed quickly after them with some regular Shinsengumi members as well.
"YOROZUYA!" Hijikata yelled as they charged after them.
Gintoki tsked at this and the group sped up but another earthquake suddenly shook the cave. "Gin-san!" Shinpachi called out. "We are going to be crushed!"
"Toshi!" Kondou yelled as well. "We have to get out of here. Before they could turn around and leave though the ceiling to the entrance collapsed. The Shinsengumi members quickly pulled out some lanterns to fight the darkness.
"Well it looks like our exit is cut off." Koga said with a slight smile. "Looks like there is only one way to go!" He started sprinting down deep into the cave before the collapsing spread and chased after him. The others started screaming as well as a rockslide followed them down underground. After a few minutes of running they came across three different pathways.
"Which way do we go Gin-chan?" Kagura asked as they neared the pathways.
"Who knows! Just try to get lucky!" Gintoki yelled an answer before more shaking occurred and the rockslide sped up. The group reached the pathways and dove through whichever they were close to before the were swallowed by the earth behind them.
Of course this now meant that the group had been separated.
Hijikata sat up with a groan and rubbed his head. His lantern had miraculously stayed lit and he stood up and held it up to see around him calling out. "Hey! Anyone out there?"
His lantern flashed across some blond hair and a female voice called back to him. "I'm here." Tsukuyo also groaned as she stood up and rubbed some fresh bruises. "It looks like only us two dove through the right tunnel."
"Looks like it." Hijikata put a cigarette in his mouth and lit it. The two stood there in an awkward silence as they tried to figure out what to do next. The silence dragged out as they truly were the only two there and they hadn't really been alone together before. "W-well we might as well just go down this tunnel."
"Y-yeah. We can still find that organization to crush." Tsukuyo said also smoking her Kiseru.
The two started to walk down the tunnel before they heard some noise from the newly made wall behind them. They both turned and prepared for a fight but before they could do anything a silver puff ball flew out of the rubble directly into the Courtesan of Death's chest.
"Well this seems about right." Was all Gintoki could say before a reddened Tsukuyo grabbed him and suplexed him into the ground causing another mini earthquake.
"Oi." Hijikata said without a hint of concern. "You alive down there?" Gintoki just responded with a groan.
After a few minutes to let Gintoki revive and Tsukuyo calm down, the three began walking down the tunnel. "You know this is your fault you damn mayo freak. The hole was fine with only us in it."
"Shut it sweet freak. You aren't even supposed to be here."
Before the argument could get worse, which it was definitely going to, Tsukuyo shushed them and pointed down the tunnel. "Someone is here."
"You three are just what I expect." A sultry woman's voice called out to them. "Two clueless men fighting amongst themselves while the woman is the observant one." A tall and beautiful woman with long red hair and silver eyes emerged from the shadows wearing a red as deep and beautiful as her own hair. She smiled seductively at the two men.
Kagura coughed as she stood in a pitch black cave. "Gin-chan! Tsukki!" She called out into the darkness. "Anyone there?"
A tsk could be heard in the distance as a sadist answered her. "It seems that is is just you and me China."
Kagura acted visibly repulsed by the idea of being alone with him but he couldn't see through the dark either so she tried to make it audible as well. Luckily Sougo was doing something similar so they didn't need to try much to get the point across.
"I'm going to walk down the tunnel, yes. Don't try to follow me you damn sadist." Kagura said while feeling along the wall so she won't fall.
"Sorry China but it is the only way to go." Sougo said as he felt along the other wall.
They both kept speeding up and insulting each other until they were both sprinting down the tunnel while screaming insults at each other. Suddenly they felt blood lust in front of them and they both drew their weapons to each block and attack. They were both blown back from the attacks and they heard some giggles from where their attackers were.
"Look at that Onee-chan. Fresh meat for us to kill." A male voice called out.
"Indeed Onii-chan. They sound to be easy prey." A female voice echoed.
The light of a newly lit lantern illuminated the cave and the three men in it. "Is everyone alright?" The glasses asked the room.
"Besides some bruises I'm all good." The dirt answered.
"Same here." finished the gorilla.
The glasses smiled at the answers. "Good...NO WAIT. WHY ARE WE ALL NOT HUMAN?" The straight man screamed out. "AND COULD THE AUTHOR THINK OF NOTHING BETTER THAN DIRT FOR KOGA-SAN?"
"Calm down Shinpachi-san." The dirt said with a laugh. "It is just a good laugh for the readers of the fanfiction. "Since I seem to be even more useless than you two." He suddenly became depressed. "Worse than a gorilla who was naked in the second chapter."
"Now now Koga-san. I'm much more useless than you. You have had more lines than me as well." Now he suddenly became depressed and Shinpachi just sighed at the sight of the two men in despair.
It took some time but the two were finally able to get over their uselessness and the three started the walk down the tunnel.
"Koga-san." Shinpachi broke the silence. "You mentioned something about the four generals the Planet Destroyers had before."
"Ah right. I kind of forgot about them with the whole tunnel collapse." Koga started. "Now that I think about it though they had probably planned that for intruders after I escaped. A triple path to separate and trap the intruders and then kill them."
"Who are these generals? What do have to watch out for?" Kondou asked.
"Well one of them is Uzuri the Succubus. Self named the most beautiful woman in the universe and she seduces men to either kill them or do their bidding. She is best known for her silver eyes and fiery red hair."
"She sounds like a lot of trouble. Especially if we run into her with Shinpachi here." Kondou said.
"What is that supposed to mean you stalker!?" Shinpachi started to yell but Koga broke back in.
"Two of the other generals are actually twins, Tomo and Haya the Gemini, and probably the most dangerous if you run into them alone. They are the perfect fighting combination and have a weird thing about calling the other one their older sibling."
"The strongest of the four however is said to have sunk an island in a single punch, lifted a city with one hand, and destroyed a planet with his hands alone."
Suddenly shakes could be heard from the tunnel ahead of them and Koga paled at the sound. "He is here. The leader of the four generals and ultimate successor to the Planet Destroyers!"
Shinpachi and Kondou also paled as the other man began to shake as he gave his warning and names. They could barely picture the kind of man he was describing and who was able to shake the ground with just their steps. They drew their swords and prepared to fight.
Slowly and surely a figure emerged from the darkness into the light. "We are doomed! The Gorilla is here!" Koga yelled.
The other two men fell flat on their faces as nothing but an actual gorilla stepped into the light.
Well if you can't tell I'm going with the classic split up fights which will take up the next three chapters. The next chapter will be Kagura and Sougo against the twins and then Hijikata, Gintoki, and Tsukuyo against the seductress. I'll end with the fight against the gorilla and maybe it will only be comedy maybe have some good action too who knows.