The Walking Dead: 8 months on the road- The Story of Carl

Chapter 3

Trouble. Carl was in trouble. He knew it. Ever since he'd looked at David and promised his endless help in collecting supplies a tiny flutter of doubt had been weighing him down. That flutter had turned into a swarm of doubt that threatened to overwhelm him, but Carl knew he wouldn't break his promise. Somehow whenever he considered never returning to the town again, and turning his back on David and co, the thought of Ashley flashing a smile in his direction put him back on track. All that had happened yesterday. The walkers hadn't thinned out significantly enough until morning, where upon Carl had managed to pass the herd safely, with help from David, James and Mark. Before leaving he'd promised to return in the next two days, although deep down, Carl knew it would be hard leaving his group again so soon. At least he wasn't returning empty-handed. David has ordered he kept the duffel bag with a small helping of canned goods, and fruit he'd scavenged from the woods. It wasn't much, and Carl hadn't wanted to keep it, until David had pointed out he'd look better returning to camp with some supplies rather than none. After all he'd been gone nearly 24 hours. By Carl's estimate it was nearly midday meaning, after the half hour walk back to camp, his mother would surely be frantic. Carl winced at the thought of the trouble he was going to be in, but he had done the right thing. Hadn't he? Helping others was a lesson he remembered being taught when he was still in kindergarten so how was this different? Obviously it was different. The world was now a living nightmare and helping others didn't really fit into the picture. But he was messed up. Inside his head a battle was being fought. Had he done the right thing or not? And that wasn't the only question plaguing his mind. Ever since he'd left the town his thoughts had kept turning back to Ashley. No matter what he thought of, Ashley always found a way into his brain. How could I give my food to strangers? Ashley. I'm dead when Lori and Rick find out. Ashley. How can I go back again? Ashley. His thoughts kept him company as he travelled through the desolate woods, only bringing him back to reality when he realised how close to camp he was.

''I'm dead'' whispered Carl fearfully to himself.

The only option was to lie. Keep a low profile. Enter camp quietly, invent some crazy story and get back to his normal duties. Easier said than done. He'd been gone nearly 24 hours! This was gonna have to be one big-ass lie. Carl was stood debating what to say, when footsteps from behind made him quickly spin around. Whipping his gun from it's holster, Carl found himself aiming at a surprised Glenn. Quickly dropping his weapon, Carl turned his gaze to Glenn who began to speak:

''Carl! Where were you? Lori and Rick are out of their minds worrying! But it doesn't matter. You're safe now. Come back to camp...quickly!''.

With that Glenn disappeared into the undergrowth, giving Carl no option but to follow.

Gulping, Carl realised he hadn't yet thought of an excuse for his absence.

''I'm dead'' he whispered to himself. How on earth was he going to explain this to his parents?

The temporary camp was a hollow in the middle of the woods. The slight landscape dip meant passing walkers and people would be oblivious to the presence of the group. That was the plan anyway. Stepping onto the route into camp, Carl watched as Glenn approached the entrance, casting a backwards glance to ensure Carl was following. Sighing in fear and acceptance, Carl slowly plodded in the direction of camp. As he approached the entrance, Carl heard voices calling out to Glenn who had just entered. Questions about food and walker activity were brushed aside when Glenn promptly announced he had found something.

''Or someone'' Glenn quickly corrected.

Realising this was his cue, Carl drew a deep breath and entered the clearing. His presence caused an uproar.

Lori and Rick jumped to their feet and ran towards him with arms outstretched whilst the other members of the group, T-Dog, Daryl, Maggie, Hershel, Beth and Carol, all turned to face him, a look of surprise etched on each face. Lori reached him first, hugging him so tight Carl felt his small body would surely snap. Rick stood to Lori's side, relief and happiness obvious in his gaze.

''Where have you been?'' questioned Lori, letting go of him and fixing her steely gaze on him. ''It's been a whole day, you were only sent out to get food. You were trusted like an adult but clearly it was too much responsibility. So tell me Carl, no lies, where have you been for 24 hours?''.

Feeling a rush of anger at the unfairness of his mothers accusations, Carl felt words come tumbling out of his mouth- ''I was out getting food. Yeah I took my time, but unlike some people I don't like laying around camp all day letting others do everything for me. I want to help so you better get used to it. I can look after myself, I know how to survive. So stop being a pain in the ass the whole time. Let me do what I have to do and just leave me alone!''.

So much for keeping a low profile! Looking angrily into Lori's eyes, Carl knew he'd gone too far. He'd wanted to say something a long time ago about Lori letting everyone else do stuff for her, but he knew he was being unfair. In the heat of the moment though, it had just slipped out. Alright Lori annoyed the hell out of him but what he'd said was terrible. Opening his mouth to apologize, Carl was interrupted by Rick.

''How dare you speak to your mother like that. We thought you were dead. It's not heroic Carl to let everyone worry themselves to death, when you clearly think it's all a game. I'm banning you from all supply runs till you grow up. No complaints. Now apologize to your mother and get outta my sight''.

No supply runs. No fair. He'd only been trying to help. Well he'd show them. He was going to go back to that town and help those people. If only to defy Rick it was worth it. And he wasn't apologising to Lori. She didn't do anything to help the group. Just because she was pregnant she expects everyone to run around after her. Well not me. Screw it.

''I'm not apologising. I did nothing wrong. Oh and by the way, I got us some food. Risking my ass to feed you guys. Real grateful. Well I'm done''.

Throwing his duffel bag into camp, Carl angrily turned and stormed into the woods, ignoring the shouts of the group behind him. So what if a walker got him. It wasn't like anyone gave a damn.

Carl sat on a fallen log seething. He had planned to enter the camp quietly and solemnly, apologize and get on with life. But Lori and Rick had to blame him. They didn't care. He wanted to be helpful but they just didn't get it. Feeling rejected and misunderstood, Carl felt hot, salty tears run down his face. The worst thing was he knew his parents were right. Not like he'd tell them but he had been stupid, leaving camp for so long. That only made him feel worse and ensured the tears kept falling. If it wasn't enough he was feeling as low as the ground, Carl was also racked with guilt. He had half-hoped that Rick would have been understanding enough for Carl to confide in him about his pledge to David. Unfortunately that was obviously no longer an option. Carl couldn't imagine how Rick would react if he found out about the promise Carl had made. He probably would ban Carl from supply runs for life! Remembering the looks of anger on both Rick and Lori's faces made Carl's emotions rapidly rise. Feeling that he couldn't take anymore, Carl collapsed onto the forest floor and began sobbing uncontrollably. He didn't care that he'd most probably attract walkers. It was all too much. He just wanted it to be over.

An hour or two later Carl was all cried out. It was night now and the woods had gotten freezing. Wrapped in his jacket, Carl sat shivering on his log. The rustle of dead leaves in front of him pulled Carl back to his senses. Scanning the landscape in front of him, Carl quickly unholstered his gun. More rustling gave away the position of the creature. Standing shakily to his feet, Carl called out-

''-Who's there? Answer me or I swear I'll shoot''.

''It's me Hershel'' came the reply,'' and I'd be grateful if you didn't''.

Lowering his weapon, Carl watched as Hershel emerged into the clearing. Carl had a lot of respect for Hershel. It was Hershel who had allowed the group to stay on his farm, and most importantly saved Carl's life. Placing his weapon back in it's holster, Carl turned his bright gaze to Hershel, making it clear he wasn't going to speak first.

''Carl'', Hershel began, ''I think it's best you come back to camp with me. Now I know you said some stuff which I'm sure you regret, but I strongly believe in forgiveness and I'm sure you and your parents will be talking again real soon. It'll be sooner if you come back with me right now. So what do you say? Let's forget all this and move on''.

Carl waited until Hershel had finished speaking until considering his answer. He knew Hershel believed in forgiveness: it was part of his faith, but Carl wasn't really that good at it. All that religious stuff was too complex for Carl to try to understand, let alone in his current situation. Could he forgive Lori? He didn't care about what had happened tonight. There was something else. Something about her and Shane...

''Carl'' queried Hershel. ''Are you ok?''.

Jerked back into reality Carl spoke:

''What's the point Hershel? I try to help and I get shouted out. It's so unfair. All I want is to help us survive. Is that so much to ask?''

''No Carl, it ain't. But going about it the way you did wasn't sensible''.

Carl opened his mouth to protest but Hershel beat him to it.

''Just listen. Your father is happy to let you help but going off for a whole day had us worried straight. What were you doing Carl? What happened?''

Taking a deep breath Carl returned his gaze to Hershel. He knew what to say.

''Ok Hershel. Please don't tell anyone this. I don't want anyone knowing. It's sort of...embarrassing. Do you promise not to tell?''.

''Of course'' replied Hershel leaning in closer.

''Okay'' noted Carl taking a deep breath.

''I was crying'' he blurted out. Hershel continued to watch him levelly so he continued.

''I just remembered Andrea and Dale and I got upset. I didn't want to come back to camp so I slept in a tree. I guess I just got touchy when Lori and Rick started quizzing me. So I snapped. I know I shouldn't have and I'm sorry but...I guess that's it'' Carl finished.

Hershel continued to gaze and him and Carl began to panic. Did he believe me? Carl wondered. If not then I'm screwed. Everything depended on Hershel buying his story.

After what seemed like an age Hershel nodded and began to speak.

''If that's true then you don't have to apologize for not coming back to camp'' Hershel reasoned. ''We're all feeling the loss of Andrea and Dale and perhaps Shane?'' acknowledged Hershel, giving Carl a knowing look to which Carl slowly nodded.

''It's perfectly fine to be upset over things, but not if you're going to take your emotions out on others'' Hershel advised.

Carl nodded sheepishly whilst scuffing his shoes on the dusty ground. ''I messed up didn't I?''

''Yes I suppose you did but nothing that can't be fixed''.

''I'm sorry Hershel''.

''It's not me you need to apologize to. Let's get back to camp''.

Carl nodded and set off after Hershel. Alright he had been mean to Lori, and he would apologize but the fact was, Rick and Lori were wrong. He was useful and he didn't need his parents watching his every move. He'd show them. But first-

-''Thanks Hershel. For everything''.

''That's no problem Carl. Just please...stay alive''.

''I'll do my best''.

When they both arrived at camp, Carl had mumbled a quick apology to Lori and Rick before heading to bed. Lori has seemed curt and timid - only uttering a 'thank you' to his apology before walking away. Carl guessed she was still hurt, but he had done his part, it was her problem now. Getting into his sleeping-bag, Carl took off his sheriffs hat and prepared to get to sleep, his efforts hindered when a shadow crossed his vision. Looking upwards Carl saw Rick had come to talk to him. Great. That's all I need.

Rick sat next to him and began to speak-

''Carl, I know you apologised but I still wanna talk. What you said was inappropriate and hurtful and I don't want it happening again. I meant what I said earlier. No supply runs until I think you can be trusted again. I'm glad you're back son. I do value you and I don't want any harm to come to you. Okay?''.

Throughout Rick's speech, Carl had started daydreaming about helping David's group. Being a hero. Seeing Ashley. Ashley. Ashley. Soon he'd see Ashley. Excitement began to grow in his stomach, a glow which lifted his spirits and made him smile. Realising Rick had stopped speaking, Carl began to panic.

''Uh sure Dad. Whatever you say''.

''Well ok. Goodnight Carl'' said Rick, giving Carl a suspicious look as he left. Apparently Carl's lack of attention hadn't gone unnoticed with Rick.

Sighing Carl closed his eyes and began to think. Tomorrow was too risky to go to David. He'd wait a day and then go. It was just over a day. Could he wait that long? He'd have to. Soon he'd see Ashley. Soon. Soon...

TO BE CONTINUED...

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