Chapter Five

…

Harsh lights brightened the white walls of the hospital. The linoleum floors reflected my pacing figure, heels lightly clicking as I waited. God, I looked like a hot mess. It was still raining outside, the storm thickening as it thundered, shaking up the place.

I was shivering, instantly reminding me why I hated hospitals. I understood why they kept it so cold, I just couldn't stand it. I prefer warmth, the cozy tingly feeling that ran from my toes to my fingertips. No, hospitals are a void of that comfort. They're cold, they're harsh, and they're morbid.

Being surrounded by it already felt draining, eyelids growing heavier with each passing step. I was still trying to process everything, wanting to be alone while everyone hung around the waiting room.

"Your father's been seeing us for quite some time."

I couldn't stop pacing around the hall, his room wasn't far from me but I couldn't push myself to see him.

"We hadn't figured out what the real diagnosis was until his most recent visit last week, right when his results came back from the lab."

I'd felt so lied to, it was hard to believe my father would hide this from me. I wasn't sure if I could listen to him right now.

"We found a tumor on the left side of his brain; this is what's been causing his headaches which have worsened. It's malignant, much more aggressive than a benign tumor and will continue to invade around the tissue unless treated."

I stopped pacing, falling against the wall with my head in my hands.

"It has gotten worse; the inflammation has affected his stability, and his vision. Eventually, it will get to his memory with the risk of seizures. We offered him surgery followed by chemotherapy, but he refused."

I stared at the linoleum through my fingers, chest swelling as tears pricked the corners of my eyes. I took deep breaths but couldn't stop the sobs that demanded to be heard.

"I'm not saying we can cure him, but it would give him more time. At this rate, he only has a few months to live without treatments."

The doctor's words were drilled in my head, on repeat for hours. It was driving me up the wall until I finally crumpled to the floor and cried.

"He hasn't woken up yet, when he does, perhaps you could talk to him about our suggestions. He won't listen to us, but he might listen to you."

I was shaking, curling into myself to find the warmth I was stripped from. Drained from me the moment I passed through the sliding glass doors of the hospital.

He hid this from me and the realization hurt.

I couldn't think past the pounding in my chest, feeling startled when something brushed my shoulders. It was a coat, covering me as hands wrapped around my shoulders and pulled me up. I figured it was Kristoff coming to check up on me. Without a second thought, I whirled around and clutched to his body.

Except it wasn't him, at least, it didn't feel like his body flushed against mine. A gentle hand combed through my hair, scratching my scalp lightly as I sobbed into soft skin. By now, I figured it was Elsa. Her arms wrapped tightly around my shoulders while mine where snaked around her waist. She gave me the warmth I desired, the warmth I needed.

She kept me stable.

I buried my face deeper into her neck, her soft blonde strands tickling my nose. She made me feel like I could breathe again, giving me all the time I needed to calm down without forcing it. She wasn't even trying to hush me up, not caring whether others heard us or stopped to stare. She knew I needed to let this out.

Minutes had passed until my breathing slowly steadied, coming in deep inhales instead of sharp intakes. I pulled back, giving us space so I could clean myself up. Wiping under my eyes, I sniffled while she rubbed my arms up and down.

I blinked up at her, fiddling with a button on the coat she gave me, "T-Thank you, Els."

She smiled, eyes wilting like she couldn't stand seeing me so broken down. Her hands slid up my arms once more and cupped my face, caressing my cheeks with her thumbs. My fumbling stopped, finding the soft touch disorienting and putting my nervous tick to rest. Leaning my head into her hands, I slipped my eyes shut and sighed.

It felt so nice.

I could feel her eyes on me, watching the way I practically melted under her touch. I didn't have the will to care anymore.

Her hands moved down under my jaw, slightly lifting my head as I opened my eyes to look into hers. She sighed deeply, pursing her lips together to stop herself from frowning. I could see it from the way her eyebrows twitched.

Dropping her hands from my face, she adjusted the coat so that my arms could slip into the sleeves. She buttoned the front of her coat slowly, making sure I stayed warm even if she ended up feeling cold.

Once she was sure it was on properly, she breathed out, "Keep the coat," before walking away, her heels echoing.

I watched her leave, seeing her run a hand through her bangs and slick them back as she turned the corner. I felt paralyzed for a few minutes, staring at the space Elsa had just occupied with a heavy heart. It was just one mess after the other for me.

I didn't see myself catching a break anytime soon.

The door to my father's room opened behind me and his nurse approached me, scrawling on his clipboard all the while. He gave me a sweet smile, noting my swollen eyes, "He's awake now and asked for you. If he needs something, just push the button on the side of his bed to page me."

I nodded, wrapping my arms around myself and shuffling to my father's room. My stomach was slowly forming knots again with each step, getting closer to the wide door. I stared at the handle, taking a shaky breath before forcing myself to confront him.

I never thought I'd see him like that; Sitting on a thin hospital bed, wrapped in sheets with an IV tube connected to his arm. Monitors were beeping steadily, keeping tabs on his heart rate with each spike on the screen. He looked a little pale, his dark brown hair was messy, and he had bags under his eyes; nothing too serious aside from the wires on his chest.

It wasn't easy to take in.

I closed the door behind me and slowly walked up to the edge of the bed. My face was stoic as he smiled lazily at me, "Hey, sweetie."

The room felt tense and I didn't respond at first. I was upset with the fact that he lied. Upset that I suddenly don't have enough time with him. Upset that I had to see him like that so early in my life. His life. It just didn't seem fair, like it was all a sick fucking prank.

He continued, "They should really revoke my license, I couldn't even make it out of the parking lot without driving into a safety pole. Must be getting too old, huh?"

I wasn't having it; I didn't want to hear any jokes.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

His face dropped a bit, looking down at the sheets. "What do you want me to tell you, Anna?"

"A damn good reason for wanting to hide this forever," my eyes were getting misty again, trying to hold off on the tears for a bit.

He pressed his lips into a hard line, the creases on his forehead becoming more prominent, "No, Anna, I didn't think that I could keep this from you forever… I just didn't want to ruin your birthday."

"You think I care about that? Papa, they told me you've been seeing them for a while. Not once did you tell me about a doctor's visit, how long have you been coming here?"

"…"

I crossed my arms, swallowing hard, "Answer me."

He hesitated, eyes jumping from the pattern on his sheets to me.

"A few months, Anna," he relented with a sigh.

My chest started to swell and my heart clenched at his words. He's been going through this all on his own for months. He sat up a bit, "I didn't think it was that serious, I just figured it was stress from work… but it's a little more than that."

I scoffed at him, heavy drops threatening to fall from the corners of my eyes, "Oh, only a little?"

"Please, Anna… I don't want to fight about this."

I ignored his plea, "Why won't you go through with the surgery?"

"Because, it's not that simple," he was getting frustrated, taking a deep breath as the monitor beeped a tad quicker.

"Yes. It. Is."

He raised his voice at me for the first time in years, "No, Anna, it's not!"

"Why not?!"

My voice cracked and I threw my arms in the air, trying to wrap my head around the situation. If there was a possible way to help him then there shouldn't be any argument.

"Because you are the most important thing to me!" he was shouting now, leaning forward on the bed while his monitor worked double time.

We stared each other down, breathing heavily. God, we're so similar. Both of us being just as stubborn, it was ridiculous. The tears started to fall from my face and that's when his bravado dissipated. He took a deep breath, looking down and shaking his head. The monitor echoed in the room, slowing down again.

He spoke softly this time, "I will not let everything I worked for, all the money I saved, go to a surgery that may or may not work. It's all for you."

When he looked back up at me, with those soft eyes watering, I died a little inside. In a shaky voice, he slumped back in his bed, "It's my job to take care of you... no matter how old you get."

I sniffled, rubbing my nose, "… And who takes care of you?"

He cracked a sad smile, scooting to one side of his bed and patting the empty space he made. "Come here, sweetie."

A sob escaped my throat as I walked to his side and cuddled next to him, letting him cradle my head on his chest. "Listen to me, it's not that I haven't thought about this. I have, believe me."

I wrapped an arm around his waist and tightened my hold, "…but in the end it'll never be enough, and I'd rather spend the rest of my days spoiling you than having you deal with the consequences of my treatments. It would just make our short time miserable and that's not fair to you."

He kissed my head, rubbing my arm as I continued to cry, "I wish I could stick around, but I can't."

He took a deep breath, enjoying the silence for a few minutes before speaking up again, "I know about Kristoff's proposal… he came to me a few weeks ago and asked first."

My stomach tightened as I held my breath.

"...And I gave him my blessing. He loves you very much, Anna, and I trust him with you. He'll put you first and if he's with you, while I…."

His heartbeat drummed in my ear and I wondered how many chances I have left to listen to it. "If I can see you two get married... If I can give you away at your wedding, that would be enough. I can go in peace knowing you won't be left alone when I'm gone."

It didn't matter what I wanted anymore, I wasn't the one dying.

I looked up at him, counting every crinkle by his eyes. I was hoping I'd see many more before our time together ended. His eyes held so much hope within them and it broke what was left of my heart. There was no way I'd disappoint him. I couldn't. My dad gave me everything as a child up to now. He played both parents, took on two jobs, and still dealt with my antics everyday. I owed him this.

It was for him.

"I can make that happen, papa. You can still walk me down the aisle."

Even at my expense, I have to say yes.

The waiting room was empty when I got back, except for the Knowles siblings. They occupied a dark corner, close to the window and minding to themselves. Kristoff had fallen asleep, head tilting back a bit as he snored. He looked so peaceful, I was jealous. The only one still very much awake as she looked out the window was Elsa.

She was daydreaming, sighing heavily as the rain continued to patter against the pane. It didn't look like it was going to stop anytime soon. I had taken off my heels, holding them by the straps in one hand as I gripped the front of my coat. Elsa's coat. No one noticed me yet, so I took my time.

I stopped by the corner, taking a good look at the opportunity I was giving up by marrying Kristoff. Her mascara streaked the corners of her eyes when she tried to rub it off and her bun had frizzed, blouse stained from the rain. It didn't matter.

We were all on the same boat when I got the call, running out in the storm. She still looked the best out of all of us. I don't think there was ever a time I didn't find her attractive, even at her worst.

I was never sure if Elsa felt the same about me, I didn't want to think about it. But it was nice to just imagine. To be stuck in a daydream like she was. I always thought back on the first time Kristoff and I kissed. Or the first time Elsa told me about her girlfriend so long ago. I wondered how it all would've turned out by now if I'd done things differently years ago. If I had…

Another roll of thunder boomed in the distance, causing her to shiver and look away. It took her only a second to find me and smile. It was sympathetic, making this harder for myself than it had to be. I gave her a half-hearted one in return as I made my way to them.

She adjusted in her seat and spoke quietly, "Are you staying the night?"

I shook my head, "No, he won't allow it. I'll be back to pick him up in the morning."

She nodded and started to gather her things while I tried to wake Kristoff, shaking his shoulder a bit, "Baby? Wake up, we have to go home."

He grumbled, slowly opening his eyes and wincing at the harsh lights. Looking around, he found my face and woke up a little startled, "Hey! What's going on? We're not staying?"

I laughed softly, "No, baby, I'm coming back tomorrow. Let's go home, we need to talk."

By that time, Elsa was ready to go and waiting by the exit. I helped Kristoff to his feet, letting him yawn before walking him out of the hospital. It was raining lightly now, giving us time to get to our cars without rushing.

Elsa had walked a few feet away from us, wrapping her arms around her stomach and staring at the pavement. No one said anything, and when we got to the parking lot I realized I was still wearing her coat. Looking to the side, she was already far from us and fishing for her keys in her purse.

I squeezed Kristoff's hand, "I'll meet you by the truck," as he nodded lazily in response.

Picking up pace, my bare feet splashed puddles as I called out to her, "Elsa, wait!"

She was already at her car when I got to her, tossing her purse to the passenger side. She looked back at me expectantly. "Wait, take your coat," I breathed.

I began to unbutton it before she stopped me, "I said to keep it and I meant it… Anna, I'm leaving again tomorrow."

I took another step forward, hating the car door that separated the two of us, "Do you have to go?" She nodded weakly. Biting her lip as she regarded me again with a steady gaze. It was eating me up, she kept looking at me like that earlier... so I had to ask.

"Why, why were you crying earlier... at the restaurant?"

She took a deep breath, mulling over my words carefully, "Why were you, Anna?"

Fuck, got me there.

My extended silence was enough for her to dismiss herself, "...Call me if you need anything." She started to get in her car, but something snapped when she said that. My brain felt derailed and something ticked me off. I couldn't stop the words once they were out.

"Are you going to actually answer if I do or keep ignoring me?"

She paused, midway settling into her seat when she froze. Her fingers clutched the frame of the door as she looked back up at me. Her eyes searched my face and I could see her trying to fit the proper answer without being curt. Even if I was being pushy.

"I'll answer if you call… I promise."

I crossed my arms and looked down. I was expecting her to defend herself, to lash out some quick and witty response that would shut me down. But she didn't. All I could do was nod and feel so small under her gaze.

"Goodbye, Anna."

She gave me a weak and reassuring smile as she got in her car. I watched her pull out of her spot, her tail lights growing smaller as she drove away. Pacing myself back to Kristoff, I had time to think about what I would even call her for. I'll answer if you call… it almost felt like a lifeline. I reached the truck, clambering in as Kristoff started it up.

Of course, the first thing I mentioned was Elsa.

"She's leaving tomorrow."

He grunted in response, "I'm not really surprised; I didn't expect her to stay for long."

I frowned in confusion, trying to understand him. He was already driving out of the lot and onto the slick streets as dawn approached. I took a few seconds before bringing it up again, "What do you mean?"

"Well, I was the one who begged her to come see us."

Then it all really started clicking.

"I wanted the whole family there, so I called her… several times…"

That's why Elsa was there. Thanks to Kristoff.

"… for the big surprise."

I nibbled on my bottom lip in thought, "Did she know?"

He shook his head, "No, I didn't tell anyone except Allen and my father. Anyways, it wasn't easy to get her here."

"How'd you convince her?"

He stifled a yawn, "Well… I kind of guilt tripped her… I'm not proud of it, but it worked."

I waited, knowing he was going to give me more than that. He had to.

"I told her, if she still really cared about you, she'd make the effort for at least this. I'm really glad she did." He turned and gave me a lazy crooked smile, "And you thought she hated you."

Kristoff parked in my driveway, shutting off the ignition. We didn't say much during the drive, letting the casual silence settle as I held his hand to keep him awake the whole time. He was ready for bed but if I didn't talk about this now, I'd probably never go through with it.

Caressing his arm, I moved my hand up and squeezed his shoulder, "Baby, before we go inside, let's talk about tonight."

We hadn't spoken about it since the phone call about my father, putting everything on hold. The unsaid answer just lingered around me, prodding and poking me on the side while I took my time.

He was waiting as I looked at his face, the gentle features of a Knowles. His eyes, mostly. Those hazel irises, red rimmed from exhaustion.

Enough time had passed as he grabbed my hand and laced our fingers together, "You don't have to answer me right now, Anna, there's a lot going on."

I pursed my lips together, "That's the thing, Kristoff. It has to be now because of everything that's going on."

He kissed my knuckles, waiting patiently so I could find the guts I never seem to have at the right time.

"Kristoff, my dad is dying so I'm not wasting anymore time. I want him to see me in that white dress before it's too late. I'll marry you… but it has to be a month or two from now."

His eyes widened a bit, "A month?"

I smiled sympathetically, "I know, but I don't want to risk it."

That constricting feeling started to come up again in my chest and I felt so goddamn tired. How many times am I going to cry today? I swallowed hard, pushing down that sick feeling that always came when I was about to do something I'd regret.

"Can we make that happen, baby?"

He leaned forward, placing a chaste kiss over my quivering lips, "Of course, we can do that. If that's what you really want."

"Then my answer is yes."

A/N: Sup guys. This story will eventually get to the good stuff but a lot has to happen first. Remember, Elsanna is key in all this. Thanks for the support you babes.