The Walking Dead: 8 months on the road- The Story of Carl
Chapter 5
The weak winter sun has fully risen, although the chill of the season was still obvious. A cluster of dead leaves blew softly through the desolate town, as Carl and Ashley entered it. Both Carl and Ashley each carried a gun whilst keeping a watch on all sides, for the signs of approaching walkers. The journey from the groups camp to the town had been extremely awkward, to Carl anyway. Despite the fact he had been alone with Ashley, Carl had been too nervous to strike up a conversation and so, it would seem, had Ashley, as the walk had been complete in silence. Now they had entered the town, Carl felt he should at least attempt to talk to her- after all he hadn't stopped thinking about her since their chance meeting nearly three days ago.
Taking a deep breath, Carl quickly uttered- ''So, where'd you think we should go for supplies?''.
Turning her bright blue gaze to Carl, Ashley answered- ''I'm not too sure. I don't know town that well. I was kinda hoping we could just, you know...hang out for a while?''.
Feeling his heartbeat rapidly increase, Carl managed to splutter out- ''Yeah. Cool''.
''Awesome'' said Ashley happily, turning her gaze back to the side walk they were walking on.
Nodding awkwardly to himself, Carl returned his gaze forwards and felt himself smiling. A whole afternoon with Ashley. This day was going to be good.
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After making there way through town without seeing a single walker, Carl and Ashley arrived at a grassy embankment, on which Ashley threw herself onto. Settling herself in the weak suns rays, Ashley looked up at Carl and patted the ground next to her playfully. All Carl could do was raise an eyebrow which caused Ashley to laugh.
''C'mon dude. Sit down. Unless you want to go back to camp?'' Ashley said innocently.
''No way'' said Carl, quickly sitting down next to Ashley. ''I've wanted to talk to you for days now'' he added.
Ashley smiled at that, where upon Carl, realising what he'd said, blushed and lowered his gaze shyly.
''Aww, that's sweet dude. Don't sweat it though. I've been dying to speak to a kid my age for ages as well. Adults can be a real bore sometimes'' replied Ashley kindly.
Carl continued to look embarrassed so Ashley decided to move the conversation forwards.
''So, what's your story? How have you survived those dead freaks? You gotta group?'', Ashley queried.
Looking up, Carl saw Ashley smiling kindly at him. She was such a nice person he thought. And she's asking about my life. The last time someone had asked how he was, it had been Hershel and Carl had had to lie to the death to protect his back. But now he felt he could be honest. Ashley was asking a simple question and it was about him. So stop being an idiot and answer, Carl told himself.
''Um...yeah. I gotta group. Me, my Mom and Dad, as well as some others. They're all good people. We had more people, but...we lost them'' trailed off Carl as he bowed his head.
''Aw, I'm so sorry'' said Ashley, and before he knew it, Ashley had thrown her arms around Carl once more. The gesture caused Carl's grief to drain away as easily as water in a sink, and he felt himself beginning to smile.
Removing herself from the hug, Ashley caught sight of Carl's smile and mirrored it instantly.
''That's more like it'' said Ashley teasingly, before giving Carl a playful nudge in the ribs. ''Now, I gotta ask- what's up with the hat?'' she continued, gesturing to the Stetson on Carl's head.
''Oh, this?'' laughed Carl. ''It's a present from my Dad. He gave it to me when I was recovering from getting shot''.
''You were shot!?'' gasped Ashley. ''How? When?''.
''A few months ago'' answered Carl. ''It was nothing really. Just a stray shot''.
''But it must've hurt bad?'' asked Ashley.
''A little'' shrugged Carl. ''Okay, I lie. A hell of a lot. But I recovered. Didn't have much choice with flesh eating monsters banging on the door''.
''You poor thing'' sympathised Ashley.
Unsure of what to say next, Carl let the conversation die. They both sat for a few minutes, enjoying the suns warm rays and the lack of walkers, which was always a plus. It was Ashley who broke the silence-
''So where have you been living, since all this began?''.
''All over the place really'' confessed Carl. ''At the start we had a camp on the outskirts of the city, but we had to leave when the walkers found it. Then we lived on a farm owned by this guy named Hershel. We had to leave when...'', Carl trailed off; the thought of Andrea, Dale and Shane resurfacing in his mind.
Suddenly, without warning, Carl felt hot, salty tears fall down his cheeks. He was crying. In front of Ashley. How'd that happen he asked himself? Clearly he wasn't as over the groups losses as he had thought.
Upon seeing Carl begin to cry, Ashley had felt a knot of guilt form in her stomach. Clearly this farm place had brought back some bad memories that Carl had been suppressing. Sliding over to him, Ashley wrapped both arms around Carl's right one: attempting to offer some comfort of any sort.
''I'm sorry Carl'' said Ashley guiltily. ''I didn't mean to upset you''.
With Ashley's body pressing against his, Carl's sorrow seemed to disappear rapidly. Instead of sadness inside, Carl felt a ball of warmth roar into existence. Ashley had actually made him feel better. He couldn't remember the last time someone had managed to do that. Or even attempt for that matter. And here he was making her feel crap about herself. 'Nice move idiot' he told himself crossly. Tell her you're fine. Now.
''Umm, thanks Ashley'' croaked Carl, wiping away his tears with a grubby sleeve. ''But I'm fine. Seriously''.
Removing her arms from his, Ashley turned her gaze to his own, with a curious look in her blue eyes. Feeling a rush of disappointment from where Ashley's body had left his, Carl realised she wanted an explanation to his sorrow.
''We'd already lost a member of our group'' began Carl. ''A guy named Dale. He died... because of me. I saw a walker on the farm grounds. Didn't shoot it. So it went and bit Dale. He's dead because of me. My Dad's best friend Shane was a good friend to me. I shot him too. I found my Dad over his dead body. I guess I realised he was a traitor or something. So when Shane came back as a walker...I shot him. I killed two people, Ashley. And I can't change that. Ever''.
''Carl, I don't think those deaths were your fault'' said Ashley slowly. ''Dale was bit by a walker. You couldn't have predicted the walker would kill him. Don't blame yourself. And Shane...''.
Ashley paused for a moment, considering her next sentence carefully before stating- ''...your Dad killed him. If your Dad killed him, it must've been a good reason. All you did was put him down. Your hands are clean here, Carl. Don't let this world put blame on you, when the walkers are usually the culprits''.
As Ashley finished, Carl felt the guilt in his heart soften a little. Maybe he wasn't to blame after all. Maybe Ashley was right. As if on cue, a sun ray fell onto Carl's face and seemed to ignite his spirits. Feeling a lot less burdened, Carl turned to Ashley.
''Thanks'' he smiled. ''You've actually made me feel a lot better''.
''Well I'm glad'' purred Ashley, before she jumped to her feet and spun around to face Carl.
''C'mon dude'' Ashley said excitedly. ''Enough emotional stuff. Let's go get us some supplies''.
''Sure thing'' replied Carl, springing up to join up. ''Where'd you wanna go?''.
''You're the boss sheriff'' teased Ashley, as she knocked the Stetson from Carl's head to the floor.
''Hey'' he protested, bending down to retrieve the hat. ''I thought you liked it?''.
''I do'' agreed Ashley, ''but it hides your hair. And your hair's cool. Really long and grimy. I like it''.
Note to self. Wash hair thought Carl, embarrassedly.
''Let's go then'' said Ashley brightly, linking arms with Carl and beginning to walk back towards the stores in town.
Not having much choice, Carl was forced to follow. The silent walk allowed him time to think. The guilt of Shane and Dale's deaths had been softened slightly, thanks to Ashley's reasonable logic. Feeling a lot more peaceful than he had in a long time, and with Ashley's arm wrapped around his, Carl had never been happier in his whole life. Whenever Ashley spoke to him, or laid so much as a finger on him, Carl felt a tingling sensation throughout his being. Never before, had he met a girl who could make him feel this happy.
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''Hershel, wait up'' called Rick, as he emerged from the leafy undergrowth to see the old man passing by.
Turning to face the former sheriff, Hershel lifted up a dead rabbit- a result from the snares the group had set up around the woods.
''Found this early'' smiled Hershel. ''Looks like it might actually have some meat on it too''.
''Good. That's good'' responded Rick nodding.
''I gather you have reason to call to me, other than the rabbit?'' asked Hershel, looking straight into Ricks steady gaze.
''I just wanted to know if you'd seen Carl'' asked Rick. ''When I left camp this morning he was asleep, and when I went back he'd gone''.
''As a matter of fact I have, Rick'' responded Hershel softly. ''I saw him get up and go into the woods this morning''.
''And you didn't think to ask where he was going?'' growled Rick, leaning his face closer to Hershels.
''I thought he could manage alone for a few hours'' responded Hershel defiantly. ''He ain't a kid anymore, Rick. He knows this world well. Constantly pestering him on where's he going, ain't gonna solve a thing. Let him learn his own mistakes''.
''The problem with that philosophy is that a 'mistake' could be what gets him killed'' hissed Rick. ''I told him to quit wandering off, but it would become apparent, he isn't listening. I would appreciate it Hershel if, the next time you see Carl putting his life in danger, you tell me''.
''I understand why you're angry, Rick'' spoke Hershel softly. ''We've lost so many people and you're worried Carl could be next. But if you don't give him some space, he'll want to rebel. He'll want to put his life in danger. And that, right there Rick, is what'll most likely kill your boy''.
Hershel saw the angry drain out of Rick's eyes, to be replaced with a look of pure sorrow.
''They trusted me to protect them'' croaked Rick. ''Andrea, Dale...and Shane. They all trusted me. And now they're dead''.
Pausing to let his words sink in, Rick looked Hershel directly in the eye and spoke once more: ''If I can't keep them safe, what hope does my boy have? What hope does Carl have, of surviving, with a father like me? I can't keep anyone safe, Hershel. And I'm the leader. How long does everyone have left, with me in charge?''.
''Rick, you are the best damned leader for this group! Don't you ever doubt that'' persuaded Hershel strongly. As Rick continued to look unconvinced, Hershel gave a small laugh and continued- ''And we're not exactly helpless you know?''.
''I get that'' nodded Rick. ''And I'm sorry for letting this get to me: I shouldn't have snapped though. I'm sorry''.
''Apology accepted'' said Hershel calmly.
''It's just I've been getting worried. This is the second time Carl's disappeared without reason. In less than a week as well. Maybe he's...found something. But I woulda thought he'd tell us''.
''Hmm'' said Hershel thinking. Suddenly he remembered a recent conversation he'd had with Carl. A worrying conversation.
''Rick'', Hershel began, ''I talked to Carl a few days ago. About why he'd gone off on his own. He told me because he was mourning those we lost on the farm, but I didn't buy it. Carl's not one to sit around moping. He'd been somewhere. I'm sure of it. And if he's missing again today, I'll bet my bible he's gone back''.
Worry had began to show in Rick's face from the moment Hershel began, but now there was confusion.
''Why would Carl go back to place, he hasn't told us about?'' frowned Rick.
''Maybe it's something he doesn't want us to know?'' pointed out Hershel.
''Whatever it is, I don't like it'' said Rick shaking his head. ''We gotta keep an eye on him, Hershel. He's gonna get himself killed''.
''What do you suggest?'' asked Hershel, as Rick slowly began moving in the direction of camp.
''I'm gonna follow him'' announced Rick, continuing to slide towards the camp. ''When he gets back, we gotta be real nice to him. No questions, asked. And when he goes to leave again, I'll follow him. And find out what the hell he's doing, before it gets him killed''.
With that Rick turned and began heading towards camp. Hershel began to follow.
''Don't you think following him, could make things worse?'' reasoned Hershel.
Spinning around to face Hershel, Rick launched into speak-
-''My son is out there, doing who knows what? He could be with other people, or just being plain stupid. But I'm telling you, I'll find out. Whatever it is, I'll find out. And if I find anyone ,or anything, is putting my son in danger, I'll kill them. And that, is a promise''.
And with that, Rick vanished into the darkness of the forest, leaving Hershel alone, still holding the rabbit. Sighing Hershel looked up to the sunny sky, just visible through the claws of the dark trees. Suddenly a gust of wind blew through the forest, making the trees shake and causing Hershel to shiver. The cold breeze seemed to bring the promise of danger and Hershel felt himself shudder.
''Please lord, bring Carl home safe'' Hershel whispered. ''And protect us from whatever's ahead''.
If there was a response, Hershel didn't see it, and with his head down, he began the short walk back to camp, alone.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Thanks for reading and all comments are welcome. Hope you're enjoying the story, and I hope to update soon. Thanks