When Faelwen groggily returned to awareness the next morning, she was still slouched on her Ada's sofa, leaning against Elladan. As she moved her legs a little, she realised that the space on her other side meant that Elrohir had risen already.
For a moment, she wondered bewilderedly what they were doing in their parents' room. Then it all came back…
Their mother had been abducted; taken by orcs and wounded grievously by their foul weapons, which Elrond thought had been poisoned. She had poured all the healing energy she had into Celebrian last night and there had not been the slightest change. There still was no change, she realised, as she slipped out of Elladan's embrace and looked across the room to her parents' bed. Celebrian was still lying pale and lifeless, with no hint of any improvement at all.
"Iel-nin?" Elrond, who looked more strained and weary than Faelwen had ever seen him before, crossed to kneel beside her. He laid his hand on her forehead. "How fare you today?" He was concerned; she had been utterly drained of energy last night and she was still looking far too pale for his liking. He was already worried sick about his wife; it would be too much if Faelwen were to collapse as well.
"I'm fine, do not worry about me, Ada," she pleaded, getting to her feet and tucking the blanket back around the still-slumbering Elladan. "Has there been any change? Has she stirred?"
"Not yet," said Elrond sadly. "I have continued to give her the antidote to the poison throughout the night. She has not yet regained consciousness but she is not so cold to the touch as she was last night and her breathing has steadied. She is improving, but we must be patient."
Faelwen nodded silently, despairing of find any words to fit the situation. Running a hand through her sleep-tousled hair, she asked:
"Where is Elrohir?"
"I sent him to bathe and eat a short while ago, an instruction which I shall now extend to you," said Elrond gently.
"But Ada, I am not hungry. I'd rather stay here…" she began earnestly, stopping only when Elrond raised a hand to stem her protests.
"I am well aware that you would rather stay here, Faelwen, but you do need to eat. You may return as soon as you have broken your fast. And if you do not eat sufficiently, I will know."
Elrond tempered his words with a soft smile and his daughter obediently left the room. It was hard for him to send the children away like this, but it was still his duty to care for them. Doing without food and rest in a time of grief would do them nothing but ill. They needed to stay strong. They would get through this. And Celebrian would be alright!
"I take it you have been sent to eat too, then," stated Elrohir wearily, staring into a half-eaten bowl of porridge. Faelwen nodded and slid down into the seat next to him. Glumly, she filled a small bowl half full of porridge – she had never grown to like the stuff – and frowned down at it as she took up her spoon. Due to the lateness of their waking, they were breakfasting alone.
"Is there still no change? Is Elladan still asleep?" the youngest twin quizzed.
"Yes, Elladan is still asleep. Ada says that Nana isn't so cold anymore and that her breathing has steadied. That is a good sign, Elrohir."
"At least there is some good news go be had then," sighed Elrohir, watching as Faelwen poked aimlessly at her porridge with a spoon. "The porridge is not going to vanish, no matter how much you prod it. Eat."
"I am not hungry," said Faelwen plaintively, scowling at the offending porridge. "I don't feel much like eating."
"Neither do I," said Elrohir firmly. "But, much as I wish I could argue otherwise, Ada has a point. Neither of us will be much use if we do without food. You were more exhausted than any of us last night. You could barely stand! Eat."
Faelwen gave a weak smile – she was grown up, but the twins continued to fuss over her as though she was an elfling still. However, she couldn't really argue. She had been drained last night; completely drained. Obediently, she began to eat, though her stomach didn't seem to welcome the intrusion.
Twenty minutes later, they were joined by a white-faced Elladan. He slumped down beside them, sweeping his messy hair out of his still-bleary eyes.
"Ada says that her blood flow is returning properly," he informed his twin and sister as he joined them at their lonely table. "He thinks the antidote to the poison is working. Her colour is starting to return too."
"Thank the Valar!" Elrohir whispered hoarsely, blinking back tears, as Faelwen gave a quiet sob of relief.
"How is your arm?" asked Elladan in concern. Elrohir patted his shoulder reassuringly.
"It is fine, Elladan. There was no damage done," he promised. "Faelwen healed it last night. Do not worry about me."
"I always worry about you," said Elladan absently, spooning some porridge for himself out of the large steaming tureen. "You should eat that before it grows cold, Faelwen. You need to replace some of the energy you lost last night."
Faelwen sight hopelessly. Under the dual assault of the twins, there was no way she would be able to leave the table without finishing this dratted bowl of porridge. Unable to argue, she began to swallow.
They finished their meal quietly and rose from the table together, heading off for their bedrooms, which were in the east wing; next door to each other. The twins were still wearing their patrol gear, which was splattered in mud and blood. Faelwen fared little better; her dress stained with the blood of the soldiers she had fought to heal.
They separated when they reached the two rooms, disappearing inside to wash and change their clothes. All three went through the tasks mechanically, their attention and hearts still with their mother on the other side of the house.
Faelwen pulled off the green gown she was wearing and hurriedly stepped into one of dark blue velvet. Then, running a brush through her hair, she pulled her golden tresses back into a single braid that hung over her right shoulder before exiting the room at top speed.
Once outside, she found that the twins had been as hasty and careless in their morning routine as she had been herself. Elladan didn't even seem to notice that the various items of clothing he wore all clashed disastrously in colour, and neither of the two had bothered to braid their hair at all. It only highlighted how worried all three of them were.
They hurried back along the halls to their parents' room and filed inside quietly. To their relief, Celebrian did indeed seem to look as if she was physically improving; but her eyes remained tightly shut.
"Has she not regained consciousness yet, Ada?" asked Elrohir apprehensively.
"I am afraid not, ion-nin," said Elrond, worry and strain showing clearly on his noble face. "Physically, she is doing very much better. I have managed to drain the last of the poison from the wounds and get them to close, but I believe that the wounds on her soul may prove much more difficult to heal."
The words struck cold chills into the hearts of the three young elves before him. But even through their fear, they could see that the father they loved so dearly was strained and exhausted and their first concern was for him.
"Ada, go and take some rest," Faelwen pleaded. "We will stay here with her until you come back."
"There is no need for that Faelwen, I am not tired," said Elrond, blatantly lying. "Besides, your Naneth needs me here."
"Ada, you look dead on your feet!" argued Elladan. "Faelwen is a healer; she knows what she is doing. She can easily keep giving Nana the antidote. You need to sleep Ada!"
Elrond looked like he was about to argue and Elrohir put his hands on his hips, imitating their Ada's frown.
"You sent us to eat, drink and rest this morning!" he pointed out. "Then you must follow your own instructions. We all got at least some sleep! You never had any! Please, Ada, get some rest! You will drive yourself into the ground!"
"I will come and wake you if there's any change, Ada, I promise!" said Faelwen earnestly. "But please go and sleep. You need the rest more than any of us three did."
Seeing the genuine worry and determination in the three faces before him, Elrond had no choice but to agree. He retired to the next room and almost immediately fell into a deep slumber. Elrohir departed for the kitchens to bring some food for when he woke up. Meanwhile, Faelwen turned to Elladan; nervously pulling on her braid.
"Has word been sent to Daerada and Daernana?" she asked anxiously.
"No, not yet," said Elladan, gently pulling Faelwen's hands away from her hair. "There is another patrol leaving tonight. I will write a missive and have a couple of riders depart for Lothlorien with the patrol. Ada has enough on his plate without having to worry about that as well."
Faelwen nodded in agreement, immediately crossing over to the bed to start making another batch of the antidote and healing salve. She wished she had the strength to channel her healing powers into her mother for another few hours but she feared that she might faint if she tried it. She was still very weary from last night; far more than she would let her brothers or her ada know.
The three young elves kept a watch over Celebrian for the remainder of the afternoon. Her colour returned to normal, she was breathing steadily and the wounds had all been successfully purged of poison. Physically, she had made almost a complete recovery.
But still she did not wake…
When Elrond stirred early in the evening, he found that the rest had done him good. He felt less strained, less hopeless and his heart was warmed when he stepped back into his bedroom and saw the love and concern on the faces of his children.
"Do you feel better, Ada?" asked Faelwen anxiously. "Did you eat something?"
"You look better," noted Elladan determinedly. "You really needed that rest!"
Even in these despairing circumstances, Elrond's lips quirked into a small smile at the way his elflings fussed over him. He drew all three into his arms and hugged them tightly.
"Yes, I feel better," he assured them, kissing the crown of three heads; two dark and one fair. "How is your mother?"
"I don not understand it, Ada!" confessed Faelwen in distress. "Physically, she is almost back to normal, but still she won't open her eyes."
"It will take a little more time, I think, iel-nin." said Elrond comfortingly. "While elves have the ability to heal our bodies at exceptional speed, our souls must always the slow path to recovery. It may be another day yet until your Nana wakes up and fully returns to us."
In that respect, Elrond was right. Celebrian remained deep in unconsciousness throughout the next day, and the next – it was not until the morning of the fourth day after the attack that she opened her eyes. By that time, the whole of Imladris was beginning to despair. Her recovery was taking much longer than anyone had thought and many were truly beginning to worry that she might not recover at all.
Faelwen had taken over from Elrond just before the midday meal (father and daughter had been taking it in turns to watch over the Lady of Imladris these last few days). While her father and the twins had gone to eat with Erestor and Glorfindel, both of whom had been wonderful in their steadfast support during this awful time, Faelwen knelt by Celebrian's bedside and took her mother's hand in her own. Having recovered enough from her last attempt, she began to send large amounts of healing energy through their clasped hands; hoping it would speed the recovery. As she did so, she began to speak softly; desperately hoping that Celebrian could hear her.
"In some ways, I think I know how you must feel," she began. "It is how I used to feel when I was with Faelurinc…how I still felt when I first came here. I think that is why I had no memories…I just wanted to shut it out; all the pain and the sorrow and the humiliation…pretend it never happened. Part of you wants to just hide behind closed eyes and dream that everything is all right, that you'll never be hurt again. I've never been stabbed or tormented in the way you were, but believe me Nana, I do know what it feels like to be hurt. And I know that, no matter how much you pretend you are all right, the hurt never truly leaves you. I feel it every time I hide from a human, even though I know he has been dead for centuries. Even now, I still jump when someone shouts unexpectedly. I can never forget what he did to me.
"But there are ways to be healed! While I was Faelurinc's servant, I never thought I would ever feel safe and cared for again, but look what happened! I've never been so happy as I am here with you, Ada, the twins and Arwen. Though the fear still hides inside me, I can battle it with the knowledge that I am loved, that I have a family and an extended family that I can rely on. There are always ways to be healed; either here in middle earth or in Valinor itself. It is not the destiny of elves to waste away. We have forever to heal our hurts and the promise of peace on the white shores when we eventually decide to sail.
"Nana, we all love you dearly. We need you! Please fight it. Do not let the sorrow destroy you! Please do not leave us now!" she begged, her throat thick with tears as she held onto her mother's hand.
"Faelwen?" Faelwen's heart almost stopped beating when she felt her mother's hand squeeze her own in reply. Trembling, she raised teary emerald eyes to meet piercing blue…Celebrian was awake!
"Nana!" with a broken sob, Faelwen moved to kneel by Celebrian's head so that she could wrap her arms around her mother. The fear and worry caused by the possibility of losing her began to pour out in Faelwen's frenzied sobs. Not moving from her spot by the bed, she called frantically for Elrond and the twins.
Moments later, Elrond burst anxiously into the room, only to have his face light up with a beaming smile when he saw that his wife was awake. His eyes stinging with tears of relief, he sat on the bedside, clasping her hands and kissing them gently.
"My love, I was so afraid we were going to lose you," he whispered hoarsely.
"You know I would never leave you. Not completely." said Celebrian sadly. "But Elrond…I cannot stay here now. I think it is time for me to leave Middle Earth. It is tainted for me now…so full of hate and malice. I will never be at peace here again. As much as it pains me to leave you and the children, I have no choice now. It is my wish to sail for Valinor and wait for you there."
Tears flowed freely from Elrond's eyes, but he nodded in compassionate understanding. Faelwen on the other hand, blanched deathly pale and hurriedly backed out of the room. Once in the corridor, she gave a guttural sob and hid her face in her hands. This was her fault!
"We have forever to heal our hurts and the promise of peace on the white shores when we eventually decide to sail."
Her own words suddenly came back to haunt her. Why had she spoken of Valinor? What had she done?!