Chapter Ten

…

There was always this fine line between us, Elsa and me. Sometimes we'd step on it in a taunting way, teasing each other to cross over with a glance or touch. We had been playing with that line for six years. It took a lot to maintain...

... And in one second, I erased it. It made me feel so alive.

Her fingers brushed my jaw, raising my face from her neck to suck on my mouth as we stumbled into her apartment. We were soaked, our boots making that squishy sound as our skin prickled from the cold. She didn't seem to mind it, kicking the door shut and finding the first wall to shove me against. My god, yes, I needed that shove. I needed her to grip me tight and kiss me hard.

Her weight pinned me back, those curves pressed up against my body. She had me whining into her hot mouth and I was more than fine with that. Her tongue was svelte, intoxicating me with the heavy whiskey still lingering on her breath. I clawed at her hips and squeezed her ass, making her groan. It was primal, vibrating through me and straight down the pit of my stomach.

It was too much at once.

I crashed our lips together, fighting her tongue desperately as she struggled to pull down my jacket. Arching my back a little, we broke for air as I shrugged it off, letting it fall with a wet smack to the floor.

My hands flew back to her hips, tugging at the hem of her shirt. I was a horny teenager all over again, my hormones fucking screaming at me the longer we took to strip. She dipped her head down for another kiss as I pulled back with a smile, catching her off guard as she giggled. It gave me a chance as I slid along the wall and towards the bedroom, leading her by the shirt all the while. She stumbled blindly, clutching my wrists for guidance as I coaxed her to follow.

Getting to the bed wasn't easy. Bumping into the coffee table fucking hurt. But, we managed with some laughs as we stumbled over our boots. It was sexy, fun albeit clumsy, and passionate.

She straddled my hips at the edge of the bed, giggling each time my nails would scratch underneath her shirt or tickle her ribs. She squirmed, biting back a smile as the amber glow from the city shined through the blinds and on her flushed cheeks. There was this adoration in her eyes, spreading this ridiculous warmth to my toes as my heart pounded a quick beat.

I pulled up her shirt as she lifted her arms, exposing a smooth stomach and heaving breasts. She sighed, relaxing in the feel of my palms gently caressing her skin. Her hands cupped over mine as my thumbs brushed her stiff peaks, swirling over the sensitive buds. She whimpered, shutting her eyes as her body arched.

With a gentle kiss I suckled on her nipple, groaning when her fingers snuck into my hair with a soft tug. Somehow, we kept a slow rhythm. Her hips rocked softly into me as she whined into the quiet apartment. My hands caressed her back, scratching her shoulders lightly as she shuddered.

The tips of her fingers fiddled with the back of my shirt, clutching me as I swirled the tip of my tongue over a nipple. It didn't take long to figure out what makes Elsa tick. Her skin had always been sensitive. The lighter the contact, the more she shivered as my tongue tickled her nerves, striking a breathless moan and a hard grind to the hips.

Oh, fuck yes.

Elsa couldn't take it, ripping off my shirt in a rush to press her skin flush to me. She popped off my bra, tossing it aside carelessly. She had a plan, I saw it her eyes as she zeroed in on my freckled chest. But I was too eager, pulling her down with a sudden flip so I could straddle her instead. It was another sudden mood change because I'm impatient and greedy. It made it that much more exciting, knowing she can slow it down as much as I can heat things up.

She gasped at the feel of my hand rubbing along her sex and pressing into her jeans. Her hips rocked up harder as her hands tried to grope my breasts. She didn't know what I liked either, but it was fun figuring it out. My fingers would occasionally press harder before easing up with control I didn't even know I had in me. I wanted to fuck her. I wanted to fuck her till morning. But I also wanted to appreciate the moment.

She was grinding against my hand at an easy pace, panting in my ear while her hands squeezed my ass again. I watched her face as her cheeks flushed even more, those perfect lips parting with each hot breath. She fought to keep her eyes on me, occasionally falling shut the harder I pressed into her sex. I wanted more. With enough struggle, I shoved my hand in her pants as her wet jeans clung to her skin. I never hated jeans so much. Finally pushing past her panties, she parted her legs for me. She was so wet, it drove me crazy. I teased her slit, swirling around her bundle of nerves and taking my time to figure out what made her body tremble.

Her shaky hands moved to my hips, clutching at the skin there as she groaned in frustration. With the pad of my finger taunting her entrance, I leaned down and kissed my way up her neck. When my lips found hers, I slid my finger in and pressed my palm over her clit as she cried into my mouth.

My wrist was already aching after a few minutes, but I didn't care, pumping the digit with a little curl to hit her sweet spot. Her walls clenched sporadically the faster I went, slowing the rhythm once she was writhing enough to make it last longer. As if she couldn't stand staying still, she struggled with my pants, fumbling with the buttons until she finally unzipped them. I moaned when I felt her fingers along my sex, making it harder to focus on her while she was fucking me.

We managed to keep the rhythm going, rocking into each other as she whimpered gently. Our slick foreheads were pressed together and I couldn't help but sigh her name the more she curled her finger. The pressure in my lower belly grew tense as she slipped another finger.

I choked out a cry, squeezing my eyes shut as she kissed my nose. I was close and the clenching of her thighs told me she was too.

Ignoring the pain in wrist, I pumped my fingers a little faster, rubbing my thumb on her clit as she gasped. My arm was burning, fighting back the need to stop with each twitch of my muscles. Meanwhile, her fingers were still buried deep in me as she clawed my shoulder, her faint nails leaving crescent shapes in my skin.

She filled the quiet air with profanities and whimpers, begging me to not stop. I wasn't going to, not when she was coming undone so quickly. Her moans were gentle next to my ear, desperate as they were and raising in pitch.

It lasted a few more seconds before the muscles in her stomach tensed and her body went through waves of spasms. Her voice cried out, melting over my ears with each syllable forming my name. "A-Anna!" She latched onto me, rocking her hips to ride out her orgasm as I kissed her cheek and whispered sweet nothings all the while.

She was panting by the end of it, trying to regain her wits as we stayed unmoving for a bit. She sighed deeply, removing her fingers from within me as she caressed my face with the other hand.

Gently sliding my digits along her slit, I dragged out another groan as I slowly moved my hand too. She arched her back lightly with a lazy smile, cheeks rosy. I gave her one longing kiss before she flipped us over again, barely giving me time to catch my breath.

Her lips tickled my neck, sliding down my stomach as her eyes locked with my own. There was promise within those eyes as she lowered herself, pulling down my pants and settling her gorgeous blonde head between my legs.

"God, Elsa, the things to do to me..." I sighed, never once telling her to stop.

I didn't feel guilty after. There was no immediate regret. It wasn't there when I kissed her and it didn't show up in the middle of sex. I was waiting for my heart to drop to my stomach or lodge in my throat, but it never happened. All it did was swell, warming my chest as she snuggled closer to me. Her soft breath ghosted my skin in a quiet way as she slept. She didn't snore, at least not roughly. They were like little sighs of satisfaction. With one arm draped over her waist, the other held her head as I played with her hair gently.

For once, I wasn't trying to figure my life out. I didn't need to convince myself that this was unnatural anymore. I wasn't sure what made me think that was a good idea to begin with but I was done playing games. With the idea of sleeping in for the rest of the morning, I took a deep breath and relaxed further into the mattress.

I shut my eyes when a sudden pounding came from the front door. Our heads snapped up as we flinched, waiting a few seconds before I climbed out and fished for a shirt and sweats in her drawers. When the knocking grew louder, I rushed to toss her another set so I could answer the door.

I knew who it was. Who else would manage to bang down Elsa's door this early in the morning? I clutched the front of my shirt, taking a deep breath to calm myself as I swung the door open. Yet, there he was, fist held midair and ready to bang the doldrums once more. His face was covered in sweat after running through the humid streets of New York.

"What the hell, Anna?! I've been worried sick!" He shouted, running a hand through his frizzed hair. "I've been calling for hours!"

My eyes wilted, stinging as I pushed back the need to cry. I did this to him. I did this to such a wonderful person and hated myself for it. That guilt I mentioned about earlier finally found its way to me, lumping in my throat.

In no way do I regret my time with Elsa. What I do regret is the senseless dragging I've done to both of them. I'm guilty of this rift between two siblings whom I've always loved. Their life would've probably been a lot simpler without me in it, if I had moved into a different block or another town.

I gently pressed a hand over his chest, pushing him back from the apartment as I shut the door behind me. Elsa didn't need to take part in this. He was going to hate her anyway, but maybe this way he'll latch all his hate on me and he'll still have a sister in the end…

... even if he can't stand me.

My breathing was hoarse; fighting my throat so it wouldn't close as my eyes skidded shamefully from the floor to him. "I've done something very wrong, Kristoff. I've been nothing but horrible to you, all these years."

His lips were parted as if he wanted to speak, confusion dancing in his hazel eyes. He shook his head lightly, licking his lips, "What're you talking about, babe?" His tone was fearful, waiting for the sentence I needed to deliver. Like a fucking executioner, it was a sick thing.

His words were whispered. It was such a simple question that had me sobbing once the syllables were out. He still didn't understand, though I'm sure his gut gave him a feeling from all the tension suffocating us. I clutched the bottom of my shirt with both hands, twisting it as I tried to get out coherent sentences between each struggling breath.

"… I-I fucked up," my words were shaky and weak.

His fingers wrapped around my shoulders, shaking me lightly as he tried to make eye-contact, "What're you saying?" I couldn't even look at him, deciding to keep them fixed on the floor instead. That's how despicable I am.

"Kris… w-we can't be together anymore."

He scoffed, "You can't be serious, this has to be a bad joke."

I was a mess, waterworks staining my face as I shook my head with a whimper, "I-I'm so sorry, Kris. It's over." There was a pause and I wondered if I spoke too low for him to hear.

"No, things don't just end like this," he raised his voice, "for the love of god, Anna, look at me!" He shook me harder this time and I was forced to finally see him in his broken state. His eyes were glistening with so much anger. I deserved it all, every last bit.

A part of me was scared. I've never seen him like this before and I couldn't help but wonder if this was his first time feeling this way. It was an insistent feeling that he needed to express. "What gives you the right to decide how this ends!?" he almost sounded like a child.

My lip quivered, "…You can't possibly pretend to be happy with s-someone who, who cheated on you… someone who you've loved for years while they loved another and lived a lie. I've made you live that lie with me and I, I took those years from you."

His grip was gone as he stepped back. "You..." He leaned on the opposite wall, letting his head fall back with a loud thump as the tears finally came down his face in frustration. It was a lot t take in. His shoulders shook, "… I gave you all that I had and… you…"

Then he looked at me, shaking his head in disbelief as he tried to make sense of it, "Who was it?"

"… I'm so sorry."

"Answer me! Who was it!?"

As if she were waiting for it, Elsa stepped out of her apartment, grip tight on the handle as she looked to her brother with remorse. Nothing was said, and nothing needed to have been said. For once, in our entire lives everyone was on the same damn page.

His eyes widened as he processed his entire life and all the signs leading up to this moment. "Oh my god..." Then his head was in his hands and he slid down to the floor. We stayed that way for a few minutes, afraid to do anything. I nearly took a step to him when he lashed out, "Don't touch me!"

I flinched and Elsa took half a step closer. His eyes flickered to her, burning with so much hate. He propped his head on a fist, pinching the bridge of his nose as slumped over in exhaustion. With the fight taken out of him, he barely managed to hold himself up.

I couldn't tell how long we held that moment, but it was enough time for me to control my cries. It was too quiet when he sighed deeply, causing me to flinch.

Then he slowly got up, watching the two of us before he started shuffling out. There was an eerie blank expression on his face, as if something in him snapped. As he was out the door, he fiddled with his hand. He smacked his lips together, looking back with a murderous look in his eyes, "Just so we're clear, I never want to see the two of you again…"

With that, he dropped his wedding band behind him as it echoed in the empty hall. It wasn't until he was well out of sight that I dropped to the floor, sobbing once again as Elsa wrapped her arms around me.

Did I honestly believe it would've ended smoothly? Well, I was stupid for even hoping. The disappointment was a knife in my chest, failing so hard in a fight against self loathing that I knew I was never meant to win.

Sometimes, apologies just don't cut it.

A/N: Hello. *insert excuse here* If you're still reading, thanks for keeping up.

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Updated: 11/2/16