That Bar They Went To

"Can we go yet?" Lyra asked and Hans Solo sighed.

"Wait, I need to kill some bounty hunter so the audience can see how cool I am." He said and Lyra rolled her eyes.

"Alright then," She went off with Caroline and right when Lyra was out of earshot, Luke started talking.

"So... They have to come with us to Alderaan?" Luke whined.

"Yeah, you got a problem with that?" Hans Solo asked and he shook his head. "Also, its kind of weird that a nineteen year old farm boy would just go off of his home planet that he's been on his entire life just because his Aunt and Uncle died. Don't you think, you could like, wait here, mourn a little bit. But here you are, looking as happy and alive as ever." Luke shrugged.

"I don't know what George Lucas was thinking." Luke said. "He could've been drunk writing this part for all I know!"

"Well, at least he didn't conviently kill off an old dude who knew the most about the force, just for your heart to spark up in hatred for him." Hans Solo pointed out. Luke nodded.

"True, true."

***After Pointlessly Killing Off That Bounty Hunter***

"So, why are you guys heading to the Outer Rim?" Lyra asked and Luke stared at her. Dark brown, curly hair, bright brown eyes, fair skin. She was pretty. And Luke felt like he saw her before.

"Well, we're actually getting dropped off at Alderaan to deliver a message from a Princess from a droid that me and my now deceased Uncle found at some trading station. And basically, we're hoping that these convienent events will help us turn this thing into a huge movie franchise that will get worse once we hit the prequels and then, like 39 years later, random fans who are way too bored decide to make Fanfiction of this on a website that conviently named Fanfiction." Luke explained as Lyra nodded.

"What a convientent turn of events." She stated and Luke nodded.

"Okay, guys." Hans Solo said and pointed to a door. "Beyond this door, is probably a this Slug named Jabba The Hutt, and basically, we need to make sure that we somehow get out of there unscathed because we can't afford the props for fake blood and fake body parts on the floor if we did get shot. Plus, we're the main crew. The main crew never get's shot. And, obvisously, its the extras that do get shot." Everyone nods.

"We're the main crew?" Luke asked. "And we can't get hurt?" Hans shrugged.

"Meh, there might be a few severed body parts here and there, like, I don't know, a hand. But other than that, nobody ever gets shot."

"That's Star Wars for ya," Lyra said before turning around, "Who's this walking carpet again?" She pointed to Chewbacca, who growled at her in anger.

"Oh, that's just the character that's everyone's favourite and got replaced by some lame comic relief that was probably named JarJar or something."

Lyra nodded before they walk in.

"Hans Solo, you owe me money, bro." Some fat, human sized slug said.

"I told you, Jabba," Hans Solo said. "I don't have the money right now."

"(Insert words Jabba said to Hans Solo right before the huge shooting scene starts [What? Do you expect me to actually go to the movie and write down excatly what he said? You did? Too bad!])"

Blasters were blaring, rays were out, and somehow, a Stormtrooper came and started dancing. Wait, he was shooting? Looked like he was dancing. Meh, same thing.

Then, amazingly, Caroline, Lyra, Hans, Luke, Ben, R2-D2, Chewbacca and even C-3P0 got out of there without a single blast at them. Even though they were facing trained bounty hunters. Even though, like, two of them didn't even have weapons and just started sprinting. Even though the odds were against them, they somehow got out of there.

Amazing.

"I told you the main crew never gets hurt." Hans Solo said with a smirk once they were in hyperspace.

"Well, time to entertain ourselves." Lyra clapped her hands when she walked towards the entertainment room and sat down, seeing Luke with his lightsaber out, trying to deflect rays from some random floating robot.

"How's we get that robot again?" Lyra asked.

"Star Wars logic." Ben said and nodded his head.

"This is impossible." Luke complained, like a nine year old. "I can't do this!"

"Put on this convienent helmet that's hanging on the wall!" Ben said, like that was the answer to everything.

"Sure." Luke replied and then, when the rays shot, he (somehow) deflected them all.

"Wow, that was amazing." Lyra said and crossed her arms, pushing her robe back a little bit when Luke sat down and stared at her.

"So, you're a Jedi too?" He asked and Lyra stared at him with wide eyes before seeing where his gaze was at: Her ligthsaber.

"I don't even know who I am." Lyra admitted. "I could be a Sith Lord for all I know." Ben nodded and stared at her. He was wondering who she was too. She certainly looked like Padme, the spinning image. Attiude? Not so much. But how did Lyra get the lightsaber.

"Show us your light saber." Ben said and Lyra rolled her eyes, but obeyed and opened the ray. It was a burst of orange. Like, sunset orange.

"Ah, you must be a Jedi!" Ben said, assuringly.

"How do you know?" Lyra asked.

"Because orange is a good colour!" Ben said and smiled. Lyra frowned. That was dumb logic. So if she had a red lightsaber, she would be a Sith Lord? Then, out of nowhere, Ben held his head, with both of his hands.

"What's up, Old Man?" Lyra asked, Ben shook his head.

"I felt like millions of voices were screaming." Ben said, all intense and what not. "Then, suddenly, they were silenced."

"Were you drinking recently?" Lyra asked and Ben shook his head. "Meh, must be that Iced Coffee kicking in." Lyra shrugged and sat back down.

"No, I think it was the force." Ben said and Lyra snorted.

"The force can't tell you if someone died, dude. And it definitely can't talk to other people in their minds." Lyra spoke.

"Obviously, you haven't seen the Empire Strikes Back." Ben mumbled.

"But anyway, it can only lift stuff." Lyra said and Ben sighed.

"Well, you can wrong too." He said and Lyra rolled her eyes.

"If you think about it, I am usually wrong."

***Hi***

This Author's Note is a note.

Duh. What else can it be? A banana? A pineapple? A donut? That would be cool. Just go to fanfiction, read a not very serious, not at all funny, fanfiction just for a free donut. I would do that. Great, now I'm hungry.

And its nighttime.

We all know the number one rule of food, right? No, we don't... But you shouldn't eat at night. Then the calories will turn into fat and etc. I learned this kind of stuff in health class, well, at least that part. I might've slept through the rest of it. :)

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Laughs and Giggles,

Emily