Sorry for the delay! Please don't kill me! Oh goodness, your reviews make me happy! I hope you guys like this chapter. It's a bit more filler-ish since we've just had a lot of drama, but it's still filled with some nice plot progression. Enjoy!
x-x-x
Namine sighed as she placed her dance shoes in her school bag. The weekend seemed to disappear in a second, what with the majority of it being spent at Kairi's house. The two had had a sleepover on Saturday night, and Kairi made sure it was the ultimate post-heartbreak fix: back-to-back romantic comedies, a tub of neapolitan ice cream and a serious heart to heart conversation. Namine felt wondrously better, but the thought of seeing Sora at school again and, even worse, having to work on an assignment with him, made her queasy to say the least. What if it was painfully awkward? What if he couldn't even look her in the eyes? She couldn't stand to lose Sora... it was bad enough he didn't like her, but to lose his friendship would be devastating.
She turned to look at a photo frame she'd placed carefully on top of her desk. A picture of everyone at swimming sports posing in their blue outfits. She was standing right next to Sora.
Above all else, she was afraid that seeing him would be too painful. Even seeing a photo of him reminded her of how wonderful he was, and how he would never be hers. Her brain couldn't make sense of anything right now, but one thing was for sure - she was absolutely heartbroken and riddled with regret.
Namine pursed her lips and grabbed her bag, determined to face the day with at least a little bit of dignity, and promised herself that she wouldn't let seeing Sora get her down.
She walked up the hall with purpose, slipped on her shoes and opened the door, ready to face the day - but an unexpected guest was at the door.
"Roxas?"
The blonde boy jumped, seemingly distracted, and let out a breath of relief. "Geez, Nam, don't scare me like that!"
"You're the one scaring me, standing at my door like that!" She reasoned, closing the door behind her. "And this isn't right - you should still be in bed."
Roxas scoffed. "I'm not that bad, give me a little credit!" He scuffed his shoes against the concrete entrance as he tried to find the right words. "I just... wanted to make sure you were alright."
Namine smiled, a little taken aback by his kindness. "You're sweet, Roxas." He seemed to glow at her words. "Kairi looked after me this weekend, but honestly? I don't think I'm ready to see... him." Gods, she couldn't even say his name! Her intentions of facing the day suddenly flew out the window.
Shaking his head, Roxas urged the girl forward. "Don't say that. You guys are best friends. I know it's hard... but Sora will miss you if you avoid him."
Namine knew Roxas was trying to comfort her, but hearing that didn't exactly help right now. He wouldn't miss her in the way she wanted him to. And even despite that, there was someone else who had his heart. She hummed a vague response before following the blonde boy. "Let's just go. We have to catch up on your dance lessons."
Shoulders drooping in disappointment, Roxas tried to think of better words of comfort as they made their way to school. This turmoil she was going through was exactly what he wanted to avoid, and what with all he knew... He didn't know how to comfort her. He couldn't say what he truly wanted to - that Sora wasn't worth this pain because there was someone who adored her more than he ever could. He felt so stupid for even thinking such things. He had to put his feelings behind now. Be there for Namine - simple as that.
x-x-x
As they entered the Year 9 building, Namine could already see Sora in the distance, talking to Riku and Axel by the lockers. Her heart plummeted to her stomach as they got closer. She quickly turned to Roxas to avoid eye contact, but she needn't have worried, because the older boys provided all the distraction she needed.
"Hey, the kids are back!" Axel threw an arm over both the blondes. "Man, was the school quiet without your class around!"
"Hey, Axel," Roxas greeted, ruffling his spiky red hair. "I knew you'd miss us!"
He scoffed. "As if. Riku, Terra and I had the time of our lives without you guys."
"They're lying, they were completely bored without us!" Sora smiled, and Namine tried to laugh along with the others, but it felt so forced. She just wanted to wallow in her sorrow from the safety of her bed. She kept her gaze downwards.
The bell rang and the boys quickly scattered, allowing Namine to reach her locker. Sora quickly found his books and rushed over to her, determined to make things right.
"Hi," he said softly, and Namine internally grimaced at the initiation.
"Hi..." She smiled at him briefly, then pretended to be looking for a book.
"I just wanted to make sure you were okay," He said quickly, looking at her eyes, but she wouldn't meet his in return. "You know..."
Namine mustered a quick smile and glance at the boy. "I'm okay. Thanks, Sora." She clutched her books tightly to her chest. "I've got dance now, so I'll see you later."
She quickly pivoted on the spot and walked briskly out the doors, letting the cool winter air dry her eyes. She was afraid Sora would be weird around her, but he was being just as sweet as ever... It was her that was making things difficult. She was so upset. Would she ever be able to get through this?
Calm down, Namine, she said to herself, willing herself to stop any tears from flowing. It's only been a few days. Sora's your best friend. You'll get over him... You will.
x-x-x
"Are you okay, Nam?" Selphie asked as she plopped her bag by the blonde's and got her dance shoes out.
Namine tried to look as chirpy as possible, but she could see Roxas out of her corner of her eye, looking concerned. "I'm fine. Just tired from last week."
"Yeah, city centre was so much fun!" Selphie beamed, "I got the BEST photos, I'll print them out sometime and give them to everyone. The group one at the park is so funny!"
Namine forced a smile, but remembered how much she was fluttering around Sora that day. She felt so pathetic thinking about how she acted.
But she couldn't dwell on it for long, because Miss Lockhart quickly got the group stuck into the end of year routine for the Create Festival. 'So Stupid' was coming along nicely, and the whole class seemed to be in sync as they practised the opening part of the song. Namine couldn't help but feel the lyrics were much more relatable to her now... She felt so stupid for loving Sora.
"Excellent feeling, Namine! I can really feel the pain and sorrow through your moves," Miss Lockhart praised, and Namine smiled sadly. She supposed if there was going to be a silver lining to this situation, it would be the added emotion to her dancing.
After a few more run-throughs of the group dance, Miss Lockhart let everyone use the rest of the class time to work on their partner work for the end of year assessment. Selphie happily wandered over to where Ventus was, and Roxas took the opportunity to check up on Namine.
"Nam... How are you holding up?" He asked tentatively, though from the way she was acting he knew the answer. She sighed, letting out some of the stress of hiding her sadness.
"Not the greatest. I couldn't even look at Sora this morning."
Roxas pursed his lips, unsure of how to tackle this problem. "It's only the first day back since city centre. It's okay to not be ready to see him."
Namine nodded, appreciating his words. "I guess. Don't worry about it. Let's work on our partner work, okay? We need to choose a song for our dance."
Roxas crinkled his nose. "Haven't we been through this debate? I do not want to dance to Bleeding Love."
Namine managed a wry chuckle. "Me neither, anymore. I don't want to listen to that kind of song right now."
"Er... Right. Sorry." He cringed at his mistake. "Let's decide later. Show me that one combination you were talking about last week!"
x-x-x
After a lively morning break with everyone gushing about city centre (and a very quiet Namine), the group was back in their home room of 9 Yen Sid. Miss Gainsborough was delighted to see everyone, and Mr Caelum looked pretty chuffed too. Kairi was certain they were dating now. She and Selphie heavily debated whether Mr. Strife was involved in some sort of love triangle with the two until Hayner shushed them fervently.
"Welcome back to school, everyone! I'm so proud of all of your efforts last week. We've made so many lovely new memories as a family!" She gushed, and Mr Caelum cringed, causing the class to laugh. "We're going to spend today's lesson planning for your final presentation in two weeks. You'll be presenting a slide show and speech all about your research and the results of your hypothesis!"
After talking about the marking criteria and speech length, the class dispersed around the large room to get into their groups. Tidus made sure his group was the first on the computers, but Namine had to wonder how much research they were actually doing.
She looked around the bustling room; Zidane was teasing Garnet and Blank was whacking him on the head. Marlene was taking charge of her group and Denzel was looking up at her in awe. Seifer was messing around as usual with his two compatriots. Vanille was fluttering around Hope in excitement. Olette and Selphie were trying to drag Wakka away from the computer, who seemed to be looking at the Blitzball website. Everyone was in their usual lull of ease and content.
Namine looked over at her own group sitting around her. There was an air of discomforture - Kairi's eyes were darting between hers and Sora's, Sora looked apprehensive, Roxas was silent and probably watching Namine like a hawk... And Hayner was totally oblivious to it all, trying to get the group to perk up. Namine hated that she was the cause of this. She didn't want the group to be sad just because of her silly mistake. She decided there and then to stop being a sad sack about it. She had so much to be thankful for - she had amazing friends and had their boundless support, and Sora still wanted to be her friend. She had to snap out of this glum.
"C'mon guys, let's hurry up and make a plan so we can jump on the computers!" Hayner urged his sullen group.
"Hayner's right," Namine piped up, and everyone looked up with surprise. "We had a great week and got some really good results. Let's show them off!"
"That's right!" Sora agreed, and for a split second, they shared a warm-hearted smile between each other. Namine couldn't help but feel proud of herself.
Kairi smiled too, proud of her best friend's resolve. She was so glad their weekend had helped her cope with her feelings, and she tried to give Namine the best advice she could. Of course, she avoided the very small detail of her feelings for Sora during this talk, but it was difficult trying to convince her he was 'just another boy' when she was head over heels for him. Namine had mostly wondered who Sora liked, and Kairi couldn't help but wonder the same thing.
Before everything happened, she truly thought Sora might have feelings for her... The summer had been deliriously blissful and filled with countless moments with him. Every beach trip, shopping expedition and spontaneous outing was laced with small moments - electrifying moments - that she simply couldn't explain. Where they'd laugh together at the smallest of things, when her skin tingled with excitement at every moment of contact with him... but the most amazing moments were when they would lock eyes, just for a moment, and his eyes would soften on hers and she'd simply melt into his gaze before quickly turning away, cheeks ablaze. She knew these moments meant something.
But was it just the wonderful glaze of summer that made it seem that way? When she realised just how obvious Namine's flirting attempts were, Sora seemed to be falling for it, but now she knew he just saw those moments for friendship. What if she was confusing her own moments with friendship too? Sora was incredibly kind and thoughtful. He might see those special moments as platonic too. But he did like someone... and Kairi couldn't shake of the gut feeling that it might be her. Was she being too hopeful? What if Sora was just so kind to everyone that he misunderstood her too?
And to make matters worse - what if Sora did like her, but Namine couldn't handle them being together?
Kairi's head hurt from it all.
But when she saw Namine smile at her words, and genuinely laugh, and even cry it all out that weekend - nothing else mattered but to make her best friend smile again. This whole thing with Sora - whatever that thing even was - would have to wait.
"Kairi, you've got the surveys, right?" Hayner asked the russet haired girl, snapping her out of her thoughts.
"Oh - yes," Kairi rummaged through her folder and pulled out the fake surveys. As she passed them to Hayner, she caught Sora's eyes - he looked kind of sad as he watched her, but then turned away quickly.
Kairi couldn't help but hope that her gut feeling may just be true.
x-x-x
The days were long but the week was short, and before Namine knew it, it was Friday. Unfortunately the last double period of the day was homeroom, which meant more working on the city centre assignment, which meant more Sora. Namine dreaded it as she packed away her lunch box.
Despite her resolve at the start of the week, the cracks were beginning to show. Namine was avoiding Sora like the plague. At lunch times, she sat as far away from him as possible, normally conversing with Olette and Pence. It was refreshing to talk to friends who were oblivious to her plight. In class, she sat far away from Sora, and during electives she could breathe easy. But working on this speech was beginning to chip away at her. Just seeing him smile, and laugh, and occasionally glance at her and try to make conversation turned her legs to jelly and her mind to mush. She didn't know how to be around him anymore. What was their friendship even like before this happened!?
She stepped into the breezy classroom, with the chilly winter winds trailing in behind her, and quickly found her usual seat next to Kairi. She kept her eyes down to avoid looking at Sora.
The groups split up again, but instead of going off with the boys, Selphie and Olette lagged behind with the others. Selphie held onto Kairi's chair and jumped up in excitement.
"Let's have a sleepover this weekend! We haven't had one in sooo long!" She exclaimed, leaning on Kairi's head. "It'll be so much fun! Just the four of us!"
"Aw, no fair!" Sora chuckled besides the girls, pulling a mock pouty face. "Why aren't we invited?"
Selphie shook her head. "This is a girly sleepover. Chick flicks, nail painting, and girl talk only!"
"But Sora really wants to get his nails done!" Roxas quipped, earning a horrified look from the brunette boy.
"Hey!"
Olette giggled. "Sorry, no boys allowed. We need to reconnect after being stuck with Tidus and Wakka for a week."
"Sounds like fun!" Kairi smiled, and nudged Namine excitedly. Namine nodded, ready for a fun weekend with the girls. She definitely appreciate the 'no boys allowed' rule.
"Selphie, c'moooon! We can't get this graph to work!" Tidus called out, rather wailed across the entire room, earning a glare from Mr. Caelum.
Selphie sighed. "This is why we need this sleepover." She and Olette begrudgingly headed over to the boys, a distressed Pence beside them.
Namine couldn't wait for tomorrow. No Sora, just her and the girls having some quality time.
Their presentation was coming along very slowly. With Namine not talking to Sora and Hayner being hopeless with computers, Roxas and Kairi were taking the reigns. It was very awkward indeed. Namine almost kept her gaze completely on the clock, waiting for the day to end so she could hot-foot it out of here.
Finally her wish came true, and she quickly grabbed her things. "Don't wait for me Roxas, I have to rush home," she apologised to the blonde, then bolted for the lockers. She stuffed her books in her bag and zipped it tight - freedom!
"Namine?"
The blonde girl knew that voice anywhere. She swallowed noisily before peeking over her locker to see the brunette haired boy. "Y-yes?"
Sora had a serious, yet gentle look on his face. "Can we please talk?"
Namine's heart was pounding hard, dreading what was to come. "Oh, um, okay..." She closed her locker and tentatively followed Sora outside, lagging behind ever so slightly. He took her to an empty bench in the courtyard. Around them, students were walking out with their school bags, excited for the weekend. She wished she could be any one of them right now.
They sat in silence for a moment. For Namine, the silence seemed to last for hours. Every second, every agonising beat of her heart made her stomach lurch. What did Sora want to talk about?
Finally, he turned to face her, and she slowly did so in return. His gaze was so startling she couldn't help but stare back.
"Namine..." He began, that sad look back in his eyes, "You're really... Not okay, are you?"
Namine sucked in a breath. She was not ready for this, not now. Not ever. She felt the sting of tears already forming. Why was she so pathetic...?
She grabbed at the hem of her dress so tightly her knuckles turned white. She had to do this. She had to fix what she'd broken.
"I'm sorry, Sora..." Her voice wavered, but she didn't give in. She pushed on. "I don't want to make things awkward between us... I want to stay friends. But I feel like I've ruined everything..."
Sora's expression softened to an empathetic gaze. "You haven't ruined anything, Namine."
"But I have!" She exclaimed suddenly. Why couldn't Sora see that their friendship was effected by this?
Sora shook his head. "You're still my best friend Namine. You're still the girl I love like a sister."
Namine's eyes widened. She sucked in a breath, the noise of the school dulled by his words.
He continued. "I know you might think that this will change what we have... But I promise you it won't. You're still my childhood friend. You're still the girl that helped comb the playground when I lost my tooth. You're still the girl that used her disposable camera to capture the conga line I started at grade four camp." Sora's smile widened as Namine couldn't help but chuckle at the memories. "You're still the wonderful friend who's been through so much with me, and was brave enough to confess her feelings to me. It doesn't matter what happens, Nam. I'll always be your friend. Your best friend. I'll always want to be with you, and have fun with you, and confide in you. You have absolutely nothing to worry about."
Sora let his words sink in, and Namine felt an immense warmth from his words.
He was right. This whole awkward thing was all in her head. Sora still wanted to be her friend, he still loved her, and in many ways this kind of love was even better than romance. The boundless love of a friend. Her heart swelled. She was so, so lucky to have Sora in her life. Her feelings for him would fade, but his friendship would be hers to treasure forever. That, now, she was certain of.
She nodded in silence at first, still so touched by his genuine words. She couldn't believe how much he cared for her to make sure she was okay and to validate her feelings. She leaned out and hugged him, no longer scared of making him feel awkward - and she was so happy that her own awkward feelings were gone.
"You're a really amazing friend, Sora," she said as she hugged him tight, again trying to hold back tears... But they weren't tears of sadness this time. "Really, really amazing..."
Sora chuckled, hugging her in return. "You're an even more wonderful friend. I'm so glad we're okay now." He pulled back to look her in the eyes. "I couldn't stand it when you weren't talking to me. I really missed you."
Namine remembered when she was mad at Roxas for saying Sora would miss her... But he was so right. This really was the only kind of missing she wanted from him now. "I missed you too. I'm so glad you don't feel different around me... I promise I'll go back to being me."
Sora nodded, showing his signature toothy grin. "You better, or we'll need another serious heart to heart again."
Namine giggled. "The next one better be me helping you out. I owe you one big time."
Sora shook his head. "You don't owe me anything. I'm just glad to have you back."
She nodded, biting her lip then. She actually did owe Sora something... But was she ready to say it to him?
Namine felt selfish, but she didn't quite feel ready to give him the okay just yet. The okay to go for the girl he really liked.
x-x-x
"Let's watch Devil wears Prada!"
"No, Mean Girls!"
"She's the Man is the only option, ladies."
Namine was so thankful the biggest challenge of the weekend was which movie to watch. This time last weekend, she was an absolute mess. Now that Sora had taken the time to make sure she was okay, and solidify their friendship, she felt she could move on fully. She was still hurt, but she was just so thankful they were friends again.
Selphie was knee-deep in a packet of Doritos as she watched Olette and Kairi make the final choice. "Before the movie starts, let's talk about crushes!"
The three girls exchanges glances. This had been Selphie's opening line at sleepovers since they were ten. The brunette girl giggled devilishly.
"Oh come on, it's tradition! But actually, there's one thing in particular I want to ask Kairi..." Selphie eyed the girl with a crafty grin.
"Me? I've got nothing going on right now," Kairi shook her head, putting the dvd in the tray.
Selphie stared the redhead down. "Nope. I've been watching you and Roxas the last few weeks. Especially city centre. You guys were looking at each other a lot."
Olette gasped and skooched closer to the circle, causing Selphie to giggle. Kairi rolled her eyes. Namine couldn't help but be caught up in the fun as well. Besides the gossip, she was genuinely curious if Roxas liked anyone. He talked to her about everything under the sun... Except for girls he liked.
"I've told you before Selph, there's nothing going on between me and Roxas," Kairi said nonchalantly. She was the queen of composure, this one. She quickly pressed play on the remote, but Selphie ignored the opening of the movie.
"Roxas is pretty cute, you know. You should go for it." Selphie winked, and Olette fell into a puddle of giggles. Kairi sighed.
Namine didn't quite know how to feel about the prospect of Kairi and Roxas. Yes, they'd be a cute couple, but they were both her best friends. She wondered if she'd become a third wheel, or even worse, the person they both went to for advice. She felt very protective of both of them, and if they were to break up... She couldn't choose between the two of them. She needed them both in her life.
Namine snapped out of her thoughts. She didn't need to worry about a relationship that hadn't even formed yet, and Kairi seemed to be fervently denying it. But she wondered how Roxas felt about it.
"Fine, fine... Okay Olette, who do you like!?" Selphie tried her next target.
"M-me!? I don't like anybody!"
"Oh my gosh, you sooo do, you're going all red!"
"No I'm not! Let's watch the movie!"
"Don't try to avoid the question!"
x-x-x
Namine sifted through her cd collection, the cases clattering together as she culled them. "How about something jazzy? Like a flapper couple's dance?"
Roxas shook his head. "Too much jazz. You said the dance would be more hip hop."
"It'll be more lyrical," Namine corrected, throwing another case in the rejected pile. "Okay, then... Mariah Carrey?"
The blonde boy crinkled his nose. "Unless you want to dance with my mum."
Namine sighed. "Single ladies?"
"Now you're just messing with me."
"Well, you've rejected every song I've suggested! And I will not be leaving this up to you. We need a perfect score." Namine sifted through her CDs like a mad woman, determined to find the perfect song for their partner dance.
Roxas sighed. "It's too hard to pick a song."
"It's not! We want to do an emotional, yet energetic piece. There are lots of good songs we could use."
"But they're all either romantic or cheesy or just... Weird." Roxas leaned on the couch of the rumpus room, feigning exhaustion.
Namine put her hands to her hips. "Are you saying I can't pull off romantic?"
Roxas shot up. "N-no! Not at all! You're amazing! It's me that'll ruin it." He slunk down, willing his crimson cheeks to disappear.
She giggled and rolled her eyes, but the mention of romance reminded her of something. "Hey, Roxas, there's something I wanted to ask you."
"Yeah?"
Namine bit her lip. "Are you... That is to say, do you like Kairi?"
Roxas' face contorted to one of horror. "No! No way, I do not like Kairi. You know, like that."
The blonde girl nodded slowly, wondering what was so repulsive about Kairi, but was relieved anyway. "Okay, I was just wondering. You know how Selphie's been trying to light the flame."
Roxas narrowed his eyes. "I'm gonna strangle that girl."
There was silence for a moment, and then Namine piped up again. "Would you tell me if you liked anyone?"
"Er..." Roxas froze. He wanted Namine to know he'd consider in her, but he couldn't tell her about his feelings, not now. "I mean, I'd tell you anything, Namine. Just like you'd tell me anything."
She smiled up at him. "Of course. So you really don't like anyone? I mean, I'm kind of glad you don't like Kairi."
"Really?" Roxas perked up. "Why?"
"Well you know, you both mean so much to me... I couldn't choose between you guys if you broke up." She explained, finally giving up on the CDs and putting in her warm-up track. "I dunno, I feel kind of protective of you, Roxas. Any girl who dates you has to go through me first."
Roxas chuckled nervously. "Guess I'll be single forever then."
"Hey!" Namine whacked him as the music started up. "Come on, let's get those muscles working!"
"Okay, okay. Thanks, though." He smiled at her as they stood side by side. "I want to protect you too. I'll be honest, I didn't think Sora was good enough for you." The words slipped out before he could stop them and he suddenly felt awkward.
"Really?" Namine asked, stopping her shoulder isolations. "But he's your best friend."
"True..." Roxas said carefully, following Namine's lead and stretching his shoulders. "But he can still be a dummy, as you know. You deserve someone... Who really knows what he's got when he has you. Who knows how amazing you really are."
Namine smiled widely, and Roxas couldn't help but wonder if the flush to her cheeks was from the dancing or a blush. "You're sweet, Roxas. Guess we'll both be single forever, huh?" She giggled as she began floor stretching.
Roxas couldn't help but sigh at the irony.