N/A: Okay, okay, I know that I have actually not excuses good enough because I had the episode done for ages, but finals people and my worst month at university... But I'm back again with the turn of the tide. And yesterday was a year since I started writing this fic... Wow.

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Chapter 10

Sweet child of Innocence

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Cas' vision was blurry. He tried to focus for the twentieth time on the same sentence, before his mind gave up and his head fell down. When his neck couldn't bend anymore, he jerked awake suddenly, only to star drifting off almost immediately. Not even all the coffee he had ingested in the last couple of hours was enough to keep him from falling asleep. A hand in his shoulder shook him gently.

"Come on, Cas," whispered Dean softly. "Let's go to bed. We'll continue tomorrow."

"No, we can't continue dragging it anymore. We need to find a solution," insisted Cas stubborn as ever, his voice raspy with tiredness.

They had been reading book after book of all the lore that the Men of Letters had about angels or Heaven. With Kevin gone and out of reach -he had deserted them the night the angels had fallen, probably deciding after translating the third trial that it was enough- and with the angel tablet lost -Dean hadn't been thinking clearly when he killed Crowley before getting the intel from him-, they didn't had much to go on about how to reverse the spell that Metatron had cast. The Men of Letters were their last hope, but they didn't had exactly much on angels and Heaven. And if they did, then it was clearly lost between the thousands of books and archives that they had. Whenever there wasn't a new case on the horizon, the three hunters spent most of their free time researching. But the task was frustrating.

"I know," Dean humored him, "but there's nothing that can't wait until you have slept a few hours. Come on, even Sam's called it a quit and he's the research freak."

"Hey!" called Sam, "I heard that!"

"As if it wasn't true, Scully," commented Dean with a huff.

Sam barely had time to move the muscles of his face into a bitchface expression, when a loud crash was heard and one of the bookshelves fell down. A litany of curses in both English and Spanish came from under it. The three hunters grabbed their weapons. However, when Cas and Sam saw that it was Eugenia they lowered their blade and knife respectively. Dean remained with his gun pointing right at her chest.

"What are you doing here?" Dean asked darkly.

"Yeah, hi," said Eugenia looking at the gun. "You should know that that can't kill me," she informed to Dean, pointing at the weapon in his hands. "It may hurt but like, that's it. It won't kill me or anything."

"It's worth the try," responded Dean still aiming the gun at her.

"As you wish," sighed Eugenia, her eyebrows raised in resignation. "Anyway," she said turning to Sam and Cas, "I've come to help," she smiled.

"Okay, now I've had it, bitch," said Dean putting away his gun and taking the angel blade from Cas' hands. "So you've come to help? Where were you when I prayed to you to come and heal Cas about a month ago? I didn't see you helping then."

The hunter took several steps towards her, ignoring Sam's hand in his shoulder, and Cas calling his name. Eugenia, now looking truly frightened stepped back, not taking her eyes from the blade.

"Yeah, about that... I wanted to help you, but I couldn't."

"Like Hell you couldn't!" he said jumping on her. He grabbed her by the front of her shirt and pressed the blade against her neck.

"No, Dean, wait!ยท shouted Cas. "Let her go!"

"This bitch has some explaining to do," he said boring his threatening gaze onto her.

"No, really, I wanted to, but I couldn't. Remember that I'm half-angel. My wings are small and I fly slowly, barely faster than a car. It would have taken me like three hours to reach you. Why do you think I crashed when I arrived? It wasn't for fun. I've got all these powers and no one to teach me how to use them. And Gabriel doesn't fit exactly the best big brother role," she stalled. "Besides," she said when Dean relaxed a bit his grip on her, "I can't heal people. I can barely heal myself as it is."

"You can't?" asked Sam astonished, while Dean let her go, although not entirely convinced.

"No," she said straightening her clothes, "I can't heal others. I can only heal myself slowly, if he shoot me well, like an instant kill, well, he could kill me. Though, is an hypothesis that I wouldn't like to test."

"You said t wouldn't kill you", complained Dean still glaring dangerously at her.

"Well, you didn't had to know that, right?" she said rather disdainful. "Anyway, want to know why I came?"

"You were going to help us?" asked Sam with curiosity.

"Yeah, well, it isn't help help, it's more like a lead. Well, no. I mean- It might not work at all. Like, it can work, be a waste of time or go really wrong," she stalled once more.

"Speak clearly," demanded Dean, "What are you talking about?"

If glares could smite, then Dean would had his eyes burnt out already.

"I found a spell to summon Death," said the half-angel.

"Summon Death?" Cas repeated calmly, though with an edge of concern.

"Well, it's more like we respectfully tell him that we desire to speak with him and that we would be very pleased if he could grace us with his presence," she explained.

"Why would we need to talk to him?" asked Sam.

"We could ask him to take us to Heaven," said Dean, a strategy starting to form in his mind. If someone could take them there, in a way that it didn't exactly involve dying, then it was Death.

"Exactly," Eugenia grinned. "We can go to Heaven, kick Metatron's ass, make him tell us how to reverse the spell and we could even find Cas' Grace."

At the mention of Cas' regaining his Grace, something was tore down inside Dean. He knew something like this would come. That there would be a day when Cas' would stop needing him. For a brief moment, he wanted to boycott everything, to screw every plan to go to Heaven and force Cas to be human and to stay. Instantly, he realized what he was thinking and wanted to kick himself in the gut. He couldn't be such a selfish bastard.

Well, he thought, it had been good while it lasted.

"There's something I don't like," his face lacked any emotion. "You keep using the word 'we'"

Anger was safe. Anger was good.

"Yeah, I'm coming," stated Eugenia, "I'm the one bringing this, so I'm putting the conditions and you could us my powers, scarce as they are. Besides, Garth is not even answering his phone so it's not like I've got anywhere else to go."

"What happened to Garth?" asked Sam worried.

"I don't know," said Eugenia dropping her shoulders, her concern evident. "After the whole 'You're a wizard, Harry' I needed some time alone. When I returned home he was gone and I couldn't contact him since."

"That's not like him," commented Dean.

"I know," agreed the woman.

In the silence that followed, where everyone wondered what could had happened to Garth, Cas yawned, unable to contain himself.

"Although I am worried about our mutual friend, and I'd very much like to proceed with summoning Death, I need to rest first."

"Yeah, me too," agreed Sam, distorting his sentence with a yawn of his own.

"Let's go," motioned Dean.

"Wait," said Eugenia to Sam. "Can I borrow your computer? There's a lot of Doctor Who that I need to catch up too."

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Dean undressed in silence. He barely covered himself with the sheet, and he lied with his back to Cas. He didn't caress Cas' cheek with his thumb, nor did he kiss him goodbye or clang to him like and octopus as he did nearly every night. On the other side of bed, Cas took of his clothes with caution as if Dean was a deer that he didn't want to scare off.

"Dean..." he called. There was dread in his voice, if it was for Dean or his relationship with him, he couldn't say.

The hunter didn't answer. Definitely not wanting to talk about how Cas was going to leave him as soon as he got his wings back. The fallen angel called his name again, this time grabbing him by the shoulder and shaking him softly.

Since coming together, they had fought. They were broken men and sometimes their broken pieces had edges and crashed together. However, after some shouts back and forth, and sometimes a scolding from Sam, they had always came through it. They both worked hard on their relationship and little by little, they were fixing each other. But this time, it didn't seem like it was the case.

"What do you want?" barked Dean.

The sharp unfriendly tone hurt Cas more than he was expecting to. Had he done something wrong in their relationship? Had he screwed up? The thought of losing Dean terrified him.

"Dean," he said and he sounded so hurt, that the hunter had to turn to look at him.

Cas was looking at him like a wounded animal, and Dean couldn't stand that, couldn't stand the thought of him being the reason of that expression on Cas' face. So he grabbed his boyfriend's head with one hand and kissed him with all he had. He was determined to fiercely kiss away that hurt from his face. He pressed his tongue viciously against Cas' lips until he opened them. Dean covered every single corner of the other man's mouth with his tongue, eager to melt Cas.

And Cas couldn't help but moan under the hunter's ministrations, needing the intimacy and the reassurance. He hold hard onto Dean, as if he was afraid that he would melt into oblivion if he didn't. It had been a month now, but sometimes, more often than not, it felt too much for him. When they drew apart, he was breathing hard, but Dean didn't let him recover before he was stripping him of the few clothes that he had on.

If he was going to lose Cas as soon as he got his Grace back, then Dean was to take as much advantage as he could of Cas still being his. Cas being human, Cas still needing him.

Undressing himself was harder. He didn't know if it was due to Cas barely letting him go or to him not being able to drew apart from Cas' warmth for more than two seconds at the time. He didn't care though, when the full length of their naked bodies finally pressed together and their cocks slid against each other. Dean hadn't finished moaning before he was reaching for the drawer and grabbing the lube. He spread some on Cas' fingers and then took him by the wrist and guided him to his entrance.

At first, their sex had been vanilla. But as they started giving into the intimacy, their true natures started to emerge. Dean liked to be dominated in bed, to be held down while as Cas fucked into him. It was what outside of bed he couldn't do, give himself completely over to another person, to relinquish total control to someone else. And as Cas gained confidence in himself regarding sex, he begun growing bolder. He discovered that he loved dominating Dean, about being responsible of how much pleasure the other man would get. And of course, the amount of trust that Dean put over him.

Yet, this wasn't like that. This was like fighting, but instead of punches it was rough caresses, instead of angry shouts it was ripped moans, and what before had been a wall it was now a memory foam bed. They both knew the beat of this, it was something they had practiced over the years.

"Do it," panted Dean. "Just do it."

Cas recognized the words, he knew them well. They stirred something in him, a primitive growl came from Cas' chest. And this time he didn't hesitate.

He pushed his whole finger inside Dean. He barely gave him time to get used to it, before he was moving it roughly. Soon it was two, and three fingers inside. He didn't even bothered to search for Dean's prostate, hitting at it randomly by chance.

The hunter's eyes were black and reversed to a primal state. He took Cas' hand out of him. He barely had the presence of mind to add some lube on Cas' cock before he was impaling himself on it on just one go.

"Fuck, Dean," cursed Cas, his hands getting a held of Dean's hips.

A shiver run trough Dean's spine when he heard the swear come out of the ex-angel's lips. He then moved up, until only the head of Cas' cock was still in, and slammed down again. He set a ruthless pace that made his dick bounce and hit against Cas' stomach. When the room had begun to fill with moans and groans and pants, Cas started to thrust up hard.

The sound of the slaps of skin against skin was heard all around the bedroom. The force of their combined movements was threatening to break them apart. And Dean felt like he was going to start shouting his pleasure, but he couldn't have that. So he started talking, trying to break Cas down.

"You like this, don't you?" he purred. "You like it rough, you dirty angel. You love it when I ride your cock this hard. You just love fucking my brains out, don't you?"

"Dean, shut up," though his voice trembled, the command was clear.

The submissive side of Dean wanted to obey, but the rest of him, that side of him that was hurt, angry, and scared wanted to be rebellious. And he was about to do so, when he got caught by the lust-blown eyes of Cas. So now they were also having eye-sex, like they've done for so long, the same practiced beat. But this time it was different. This time it was as rough and merciless as their fucking.

Soon their rhythm started to falter and they both had to look away and close their eyes. They could feel their own orgasm coming close and neither of them wanted to be the first one to come, the first one to surrender. Dean was practically screaming his pleasure, but he was way beyond the point of caring now.

"Fuck, Dean," exclaimed Cas after the hunter shoved down particularly hard on him.

That was it. With a raw scream of "Castiel!" Dean came hard. His cock spilling his release over Cas' chest, some of it even landing on his chin. The fallen angel thrust four more times, each thrust accompanied by a "Fuck," and then he was spilling his hot seed inside Dean's ass.

When the adrenaline and endorphins wore down on both of them, the previous angry tension was replaced with awkwardness. And the strain that had been floating in the air before things turned hot, came back at full force.

"Dean," and the hunter knew what question was coming, so he shut his eyes, and shifted over the ex-angel chest, as if that would free him from having to hear it. "What's wrong?"

Dean raised his head, supporting himself on his elbow to look at his lover in the eye. Part of him, that part that worked hard over the past month with his relationship with Cas, wanted to answer. But his old-self was trapped in abandonment issues and felt ashamed. He tried to gather the words on his mouth, but they all died before even reaching his throat.

"I- I can't," he said and dropped his head, shoulders bended in defeat.

Cas understood that it wasn't a refusal to give an answer, it was the inability to put into words feelings that had been bottled up for years, so he accepted it. "Alright," he whispered and caressed softly the blond man's head.

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When morning came, and after a few kisses that promised that they would fix whatever was between them both, they went to the kitchen to find that Eugenia had cooked breakfast for all of them.

"Morning," she greeted them with a smile so big that she could barely contain herself, noticing the clear signs of the morning after.

"What's got you so happy?" asked Dean still sleepy, his tone didn't come out as mean as he intended to because the pancakes smelled good. And okay, if it tasted as good as they smelled she might get a chance to start getting into him.

"Oh, nothing. Just that I have angel powers now and I can hear everything," she said with her back towards him, working on the last pancakes, but her smile was still visible on the way her cheeks curved.

Okay, scratch that, she was obviously still a dick. After all, the food wasn't that good as to giver her a chance.

"You don't need angel hearing for that," complained Sam.

"You heard us having intercourse," stated Cas, "I apologize."

"I'm not complaining," answered the woman.

"I am," said Sam.

"Anyway," she said turning around with a blush on her face, adding the last pancakes on the table. "I've gathered all the ingredients for the spell, and got some fast food for when Death arrives."

"What's gonna take?" asked Sam.

"Nothing. It's just mixing the ingredients in the right order, drawing a circle and one of you has to say the words," explained Eugenia.

"'One of you'," repeated Cas. "You can't say the spell?" Cas questioned her with honest curiosity.

"No, the spell only works with humans, and I'm half-angel," she said. "I can't perform it."

"How convenient," exclaimed Dean.

"Dean, you don't trust her, we get it, I do. Move on, it's getting old already," argued Sam.

"Yeah, I don't need a constant reminder, having a blade pressed to me twice is freaking enough, thank you," her tone was dry, but her eyes were soft when she looked at Sam in gratitude for the support. "Well, just tell me when you're ready."

They continued eating in silence. Dean was set to remain angry the rest of the day, but when he got hold of Cas' eyes, he remembered why he shouldn't. This may be his last moments with Cas. Today he might get his Grace back and decide that the hunter wasn't enough for him. So he should cherish these last moments with Cas, right? Because of that, he didn't care what would others think about it -even himself-, he grabbed Cas' hand.

Even though he was practically lost in those blue eyes that still stared back at him after a month with something akin to awe, he noticed Eugenia's immediate smile.

And just because he knew that she would get it, he said without looking at her. "Shut up, Becky."

"Hey, low blow, dude!" complained Eugenia.

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It had been three hours, going on four, since they had set the spell and Dean had read the words -because after the trials he wouldn't let Sam read any other spell. The circle on the floor had shone, but that had been it.

"Are you sure we prepared the spell correctly?" inquired Cas.

"I think so, the ingredients were the right ones, the words were pronounced well. I don't know," sighed Eugenia. "He's supposed to come when he wants to... If he wants to."

"But it's been over three hours, how long is he going to take?" huffed Dean.

"You are too impatient for someone barely bigger than a bacteria," said a slow voice from behind the hunter's back.

Dean turned around with terror. "S-Sorry, Your Highness. I-I didn't- know-"

"Save your apologies, Dean," said Death walking towards the table where the burger with fries -still warm wants to Eugenia's mojo- was set for him. "You summoned me here to ask something from me, am I correct?

"Y-Yes, sir," said Eugenia more bravely than how she truly felt.

"Interesting," commented Death looking at Eugenia. "It's compelling to see the face God will have the day I finally reap him."

A heavy silence set on the room. The woman's face had gone white and all three hunters were looking at her with weary expressions. Death let the air got thicker a while more, before speaking towards Dean and Cas. "Incidentally, congratulations on the new status of your relationship. It took you both long enough to... catch up to the plan."

"H-How?" stammered the hunter.

"Bacterias, Dean, bacterias, remember?" answered the former horsemen rolling his eyes.

"Thank you," Cas said cordially. "We summoned you to ask for your help," he communicated.

Despite the lack of angel powers that would allow him to protect the Winchesters, Castiel felt like it was his responsibility to speak with Death. Should they anger him, better let his wrath fall on him than on the boys. But angel mojo was useless against Death, and the Winchesters had faced worse.

"We- we were wondering... if you could take us to Heaven," Sam asked nervously moving his hands awkwardly on the air on an attempt to explain himself.

"And why would you require me to do such a thing," wondered Death.

"Because I don't know if you heard, ma- I mean, Your Highness, but an angel named Metatron expelled all the angels from Heaven and- and he's locked up up there and we'd like to restore a bit of balance," said Dean trying to be respectful.

"Oh, I found out about the angels. After all I did have to pick several fallen angels. Most of them didn't have kind words to any of you," he said looking at the three men in the room. "Save for one," said Death turning exclusively to Cas, "she said she was sorry for what she's done to you and that whenever the time comes she would help in Heaven."

"That's gr-" Sam begun saying, along hopeful looks from the other people at the Bunker, before he was interrupted by the powerful being in the room.

"However, I cannot help you in that regard, nor can I take you to Heaven. The only way you could go to Heaven is the old fashioned way. And we all know that it is not your time yet."

"But wh-?" Dean asked dismayed.

"Because I already made an arrangement and a promise to an old friend," explained Death.

"So you won't-" begun Dean and didn't even bother to finish the question.

"No, I won't," answered the ancient being.

"So you won't help us at all?" asked Cas, dashed hope was in his voice because he had wanted, that for once, he would be able to help his people. And atone for his offenses against them.

Death took the last slurps of his drink, and with a tiny glint of amusement -or as mush as he could ever show, that in reality, that was next to nothing- he answered.

"Oh, I'm going to help you," he said, "but the you isn't in plural," very slowly he tilted his head towards Eugenia, with a spark that some may confuse with curiosity. "You had a personal reason to summon me. Speak."

The three males first stared dumbstruck at the woman. When they reacted, Sam and Cas felt betrayed. It took a second more for Dean to react, and when he did, he exploded in anger.

"You fucker!" he screamed charging towards her.

"Oh, allow me to get us some privacy," said Death. He raised a bit his cane with his two hands and knocked the floor once.

Eugenia and Death vanished instantly.

"That bitch! I'm gonna kill her when I see her!"

"Where did they go?" Sam asked confused moving his head in every direction, as if he expected to see the half-angel and the former horseman hiding behind a cupboard.

"I don't care! But I'm so gonna kill her!" Dean continued shouting angrily.

"Dean, stop," Cas commanded him.

The hunter stopped half-way through a breath, just before going into another anger fit and looked at Cas. Those blue eyes pinned him down, and the mere fact that Cas was still at his side soothe him. He wasn't going to leave him, not yet.

He released the remaining of his breath and spoke. "I'm still gonna kill her though."

"Dean," Cas warned him, but there was no harshness in his voice.

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It had been no longer than five minutes when Eugenia appeared out of thin air. She seemed to be in some kind of shock, and it wasn't until Sam grabbed her by her shoulders and shook her that she came a bit out of her stupor.

"Hey, you okay?" asked the tall hunter. Eugenia nodded absentmindedly. "You have some explaining to do then," he said kindly but still not leaving any room for a refusal. He let her go.

"I- I wanted some answers," she said barely above a whisper, her mind half-way between there and far away.

"You fucking used us," snapped Dean, his tone a lot less angry than it should have been thanks to Cas calming him down earlier.

"Hey, I didn't know Death was going to refuse," Eugenia tried to defend herself.

"You still fucking used us," stated the hunter.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Cas asked her.

"I was afraid," confessed Eugenia, "that you wouldn't let me."

"Hey, I'm not such a dick, you know?" Dean huffed.

"I know," whispered Eugenia with a sigh.

"What did you ask?" Sam approached her with concern.

Eugenia raised her head and stared at Sam directly into his eyes. Her eyes pleaded silently for some kind of comfort that she seemed to not be able to find. "When God is going to claim my body," she said.

"Hey, hey," Sam lulled her, "this is us you are talking to. We have a track record of not being the vessels that they'd have liked us to be."

"We'll help you," agreed Cas. Even Dean nodded.

Eugenia's eyes filled with tears.

"Any other supernatural being and I'd believe you," she cried, "but this is God we are talking about. Do you think he even needs my consent? Consent is a formality."

"We'll find the way," Sam reassured her.

"Of course we'll do. We are the Winchesters," huffed Dean.

"No, stop it. Don't you see it?" she cried. "I was raised into being who I am! All he has to do is push the right buttons. And he knows what those buttons are because he bloody set me this way! I was raised like a damn lab rat!"

And the irony that she had been studying molecular biology and using lab rats didn't escape her.

"It doesn't have to be that way," asserted Cas.

"You truly think it is that easy? I know how you train a lab rat. You give them enough of a certain stimulus and they'll react how you want to, until the response is engrained in them! And what do you think he did? Why do you think I had so much superhero stuff thrown at me since I was a toddler? I wanted to save the world since I was six years old!" she shouted. Then, the air seemed to be missing from her lungs, and with a low breath she spoke. "All he has to is hurt you or Garth, or send the world to shit, and I'll even beg him to come if it means a chance of things getting better."

"Hey, I might not like you, but it doesn't mean that you are not worth it. Don't give yourself away," Dean told her, seeing himself reflected on her. And a part of him understood how others saw him and how he saw himself.

Eugenia gave him a sad smile. "You think I don't know it? I know I deserve a happy ending, but... The good of the many outweighs the good of the few, or the one, right?"

"Eugenia, don't," said Sam with a few tears shining in his eyes.

"Too late," she said and with a flutter of wings she was gone.

"Well, that was dramatic," commented Den trying to cut the tension left in the air.

Sam just stared at him, before leaving to his room. With a hand on his waist, Cas guided Dean towards their bedroom. The familiar sensation of the weight of trying to change an impossible fate over their shoulders made him want to be closer to the man that taught him that destiny could be changed. And Dean needed it too. The warmth of Cas' body pressed to his under the sheets, calmed him down as anything else could not.

Unbeknown to the boys or Eugenia, Garth freed an innocent soul from Hell.

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A/N: Okay, so as always it was hard to write a chapter with Eugenia in it. She's a dangerous character as she can easily fall down into the lines of Mary Sue, and I don't want that. I also grow tired about how to write her relationship with Dean. At first, when I created I hadn't meant it like that but then it happened so... Anyway, it has a bit of a point, you know the fact that she gets along with one brother but no the other and stuff like that. I don't know if I'll be able to include in later chapters, if not I'll explain it later in the notes.
I still hope you like Eugenia, and don't worry anyway she only appears in two chapters more. Very briefly in the next one, and in the 14th, where she does has an important role but I won't talk about it anymore here.
And well, I gotta admit that the sex scene came out of nowhere, as it wasn't included at first when I had my brief idea of what this chapter was going to be about. But then, it fit. You'll understand later but this sex scene has a bit of foreshadowing to later events and...
But then again, smut. Smut happens.
And things right now, are still kinda happy. Our Team Free Will is kinda of better than what they were when Dean was in a hotel killing little girls. But I guess, that just as things get worse before getting better... things get better before getting- you know.
Anyway, thanks for your extreme patience.
Really.
I really hope that I won't take so much with the next chapter.
Oh and yes, now you can guess what next chapter is going to be about.