Thank you SO much for all the lovely reviews to the last update. They made me smile! :D Please keep them coming - they're much appreciated!
Hope you enjoy this next chapter! [The song is taken from the Lord of the Rings Musical]
(Excuse any spelling mistakes - I've been at this for a few hours, and my eyes are just too knackered to be observant. I'll read it tomorrow and make any necessary adjustments)
Faelwen's grief was to be diminished a little the following week, by the arrival of Haldir. Her joy of seeing him so unexpectedly, at a time when all else was grey and bleak, was beyond description – she had almost knocked him off his feet with the force of her embrace when he had first dismounted from his horse. However, her worry was still greater – she had never seen him look so weary or so grave, and though he clearly took equal joy and delight in seeing her, and was affectionate as ever if not more so, she could tell that he was plagued with anxiety.
"I am afraid this visit will be nowhere near as long as I should like it to be," he had confessed on his arrival, after they had shared an emotional reunion. "I can stay only as long as it takes my horse to recover before I will have to return to the Golden Wood; at most I can stay two days. We have been sore pressed and overstretched of late, and my mother foresees that we are likely to be even more soon ere long. I have come to ask your father and Glorfindel if they may spare some guards from the valley. I know Thranduil's men are as overstretched as we."
"You look so tired," Faelwen noticed anxiously, stroking his cheek.
"I made all haste possible in getting here," Haldir replied, every line of his body exuding exhaustion. "I feel as though I could sleep for a week!"
Faelwen had no doubt that he'd had a pressing journey. The year before, Haldir had purchased a horse that his brothers jokingly said was a Maeras in disguise. Arrow, as he'd named the beast, was the fastest horse Faelwen had ever seen and she had no doubt that the horse had brought Haldir to Imladris in record time, barely stopping for rest.
Hand in hand, they walked together towards Elrond's study so that Haldir might make his request. "I have news of your brothers," Haldir said as they walked. "Your birth ones, I mean. They travelled to Lorien on business of trade at the end of last month and, having seen that we are sorely in need of more able hands to defend our borders, have elected to stay and offer us their help."
"That is good," Faelwen remarked. "They are all very handy with a bow; Raunien and Voronwë in particular. And I am sure Ada and Glorfindel could spare some of the guard – I only wish there were more who could come to help you."
"Every kingdom faces the same problems across Arda," said Haldir sadly, running a hand over his tired face. "Unfortunately, there is no force so numerous as the enemy – all forces of the light are stretched too thin. The only thought which eases my heart is that you are safe here in Imladris."
"While everyone I care about is out there in danger," said Faelwen bitterly, before she proceeded to tell him of the perilous task which Aragorn, Legolas and her new friends had set out on only a few days before. "And I remain here where I can be of no help to anyone."
"It helps me!" said Haldir honestly. "I do not think I'd be able to concentrate for a minute if I thought you were in constant danger!"
"Then you can imagine how I have felt of late," Faelwen said with a dry laugh, as they reached the door of Elrond's study. "I will have your room made ready for you, my love. Come up when you have finished with Ada." Kissing him lightly, she hurried on while Haldir knocked upon the door and stepped inside.
Elrond, as his daughter had expected, was happy to give such support as he was able to the land of his wife's kin, though he feared that, in the scope of things, it would prove to be only a small addition of Lorien's defences.
Seeing the weariness on the face of his future son-in-law, he advised Haldir that he should get some much-needed rest. When Haldir duly proceeded to the room which he usually occupied in Imladris, he found Faelwen waiting for him there; with hot water for him to wash with, a bright fire burning in the grate, and a hot meal waiting for him.
"You are an absolute angel!" Haldir said fervently, catching her close to him and kissing her before he shrugged off his cloak and went to wash.
"What did my father say?" Faelwen asked, watching his stiff posture with worry as she set the small table for him to eat.
"He will give us what help Imladris can spare," Haldir's voice was muffled as he washed his face. "I will stay tonight and tomorrow and then leave at dawn the following morning. As much as my heart would like to stay here with you for as long as possible, my head knows that I must get the extra men to the Golden Wood as quick as I can, and I wish to do so before the snow gets worse! While the weather is not too foul, we can take the quickest and most difficult paths – they pose no difficulty to elven feet or elven steeds, though mortals could not take them."
"I know that, and though I desire you to stay above all things, I would not ask you to," Faelwen said quietly, kneading his shoulders with gentle and capable hands when he sat down to eat. Haldir let out a deep and appreciative groan – his muscles aching from hours of constant riding. "I would not keep you from your duty."
Haldir made short work of the meal, as he had not bothered to stop often to take nourishment. When he was done, he rose and wrapped his arms around Faelwen, breathing in the scent of her hair as though trying to memorise it. "I have missed you!" he said tightly. "I have missed you so much! Come now, I want to hear what you have been doing of late. I just want to hear you talk. It has been far too long since I heard your voice."
Faelwen agreed – corresponding by letter was no satisfactory replacement for being able to see the elf she loved and hear his voice. They moved to sit on the bed, so that Haldir might be able to rest more comfortably. Faelwen sat against the headboard while he rested his head on her lap.
The Marchwarden lasted only an hour before he fell into a deep slumber. Faelwen was far from offended – she knew how spent he was. She was glad to see him rest! But she worried for him though...how she worried! In only a few days he would be riding back out into danger, to face battle...perhaps even death. The very notion brought a lump to her thought!
Looking down at Haldir's face, now relaxed in slumber, she ran her hands through his silver hair and began to sing quietly over him.
"At the edge of darkness, hope is whispering still.
Tender, unerring...gently stirring.
Memories unfurling in the mind;
Warm winds from a far forgotten country,
Long left behind.
Wandering the empty road,
In twilight's silver shade.
Following the hidden path,
Lonely and afraid.
Let the sunlight free the heart,
Forever bound to roam.
And let the waking morning find,
My weary traveller returning home."
Lulled by her voice, Haldir sank deeper into slumber. Certain now that he was peacefully asleep, Faelwen shifted gently out from underneath him and drew the covers up over him. She kissed him softly, blew the candles out and then retired to her own room.
They spend most of the following day together; they ate together in Faelwen's room, went for a walk in the gardens, dined with the rest of the household in the evening and then returned to Faelwen's room to spend their last precious few hours together before Haldir had to depart at sunrise.
He had seemed very, very grave all day, though Faelwen had put that down to his anxiety for Lorien and his desire to get back there with reinforcements. When they reached her room however, she soon found that it was down to another reason entirely. As the door shut behind them, he seemed to hesitate for a moment before he sat down on the bottom of her bed.
"Faelwen," Haldir caught her arm and pulled her gently down to sit beside him. He became even more grave, but his tone was laced with warmth and his eyes were as intense as she had ever seen them. "I have waited a long time to give you this, but I cannot wait any longer."
Faelwen's heart-rate tripled as Haldir produced a ring; a ring of beauty such as she had never seen before. The band was made of shining mithril, with emeralds shaped like the petals of a flower set around a white gem in the centre.
"I had this made for you," Haldir explained, gently taking her hand and slipping it onto her finger, the intensity of his eyes at burning point. "When I first wanted to wed you. I have had to wait far too many years to put it on your finger. But Faelwen, I promise you this – when I see you again, I will marry you. I do not care if we have permission or not; we have waited long enough! I will marry you when I return."
"Then you will make me happier than anyone on Arda!" Faelwen said with tears in her eyes, pressing her forehead to his. "Haldir, this is beautiful; beyond beautiful."
"It matches your eyes," Haldir said, running his hands gently through her hair. "They're as green as any emerald in Mirkwood's treasury."
"Just promise me that you will come back to me," Faelwen said, her voice catching a little in her throat. "Please, Haldir, come back to me again!"
"If I don't..." Haldir began seriously, becoming grave once again.
"If you don't, then I will follow you to the Halls of Waiting!" Faelwen cried, her eyes over-bright. "Haldir, I want to spend my life with you. I will follow you wherever you go, on Arda or beyond."
Haldir looked for a moment as though he wanted to protest, but settled for catching her in his arms and pulling her to his chest.
"Next time we meet," he said again firmly. "We will wed. And then we will be together for eternity."
"For eternity," echoed Faelwen, squeezing his hands before she pressed her lips to his.
They spend the night lying on the bed together. Nothing happened; Haldir would never have offended Elrond in such a manner. They simply lay in each other's arms and slept, each comforted by the proximity of the other. Every time she awoke in the course of the night, Faelwen's heart alternated between joy and despair. Every time her eyes rested on the ring on her finger, she broke out into a smile; the prospect of finally marrying Haldir filled her with joy – she didn't care if anyone objected, they had been made to wait far too long! But the thought of him returning to Lorien to face attack after attack by those heinous creatures terrified her beyond words. Feeling his arm resting gently around her waist as he slumbered next to her, she never wanted to be apart from him again.
She did her best not to weep when he left the following morning; riding out into the distance – like so many she cared for had done of late – with the reinforcements Elrond had promised. As she watched him ride away, she prayed to the Valar with frantic vehemence that she would be able to set eyes on him once again in the future.
At breakfast, she noticed the eyes of Elrond, Glorfindel and Erestor rest upon the green-stoned ring on her finger, but none of the three passed comment. She thought Erestor seemed to look at her with renewed sympathy after that, but none of the three mentioned the ring. Faelwen did not raise the subject either, for she was determined to marry Haldir soon, and did not want to give anyone the chance to object!
Time, which had flown by so quickly in the years before, now seemed to have ground to a halt. Every day seemed to last indefinitely. And as they lasted and lasted, the ladies of Imladris pined.
Arwen kept to her room, listless and lethargic, keeping to herself much of the time, thinking of the vows she had made to Aragorn before he'd departed with the rest of the Fellowship and dwelling on what the future might bring. Faelwen, meanwhile, was filled with a restlessness such as she had never known.
Her usual good humour eroded into impatience and irritability – she had no news of anyone, not of Haldir, not of the twins, not of Aragorn, not of Legolas. She began to think she might go mad from the frustration of knowing that everyone she cared about was in danger, and she was unable to do anything to help them!
She ought to be in Lorien or Mirkwood, ready to treat those who were wounded! She shouldn't be wasting years of healing training sitting in the gardens of Imladris, far from any danger and of no use to anyone!
She lasted several months in this manner, pacing the gardens like a caged animal on a daily basis, before she could stand it no longer. When news came via the talking birds of a particularly vicious attack on the borders of Lorien, she hurried to Elrond's study with her eyes shining with determination.
"Ada, I am going to Lorien," she stated calmly, as she closed the door behind her.
Elrond looked up in surprise, before his eyes softened in understanding. "Faelwen, it is too dangerous," he said firmly. "Even if I could spare some guards to escort you, travelling is too dangerous right now."
"I do not need an escort, I can go alone!" Faelwen said defiantly, her jaw setting firmly.
"Absolutely not!" said Elrond emphatically, his eyebrows lowering. "Faelwen, you are not stupid, you know what is out there waiting to attack! Under no circumstances am I going to let you ride out there to be tortured like your mother!"
"I'm well past my majority, I am old enough to make my own decisions!" Faelwen cried, her voice rising. "I am not a child!"
"No, but you are my child!" Elrond ground out sternly. "I refuse to argue about this, Faelwen! I forbid you to take one step outside Imladris!"
"But..."
"No! This is my last word on the matter, my girl," Elrond's eyes began to flash with anger. "You are going nowhere!"
Faelwen glared at him for a moment, as though trying to think of another argument to raise, before she made an angry strangled noise and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her. It was childish, she knew, but in a way, it helped relieve some of her frustration as she strode angrily to her room.
She did not leave it again all day, not even to eat. She paced around and around the room, her face flushed with anger, her mind railing against the unfairness of her father's decision. Arwen, obviously having been made aware of her sister's mood, did not come to her room for their usual late-night conversations, choosing to let her be until she calmed.
But Faelwen could not be calmed. As day wore into night, she grew angrier and angrier and more and more irrational. When midnight struck, she finally decided that, regardless of Elrond's words earlier, she would go to Lorien anyway! The Galadhrim would be outnumbered, even with the men her father had been able to spare, and many – including Haldir – might have been wounded in the latest attack! That was where she was meant to be...doing her job and helping people!
The thought of Haldir injured was all it took to rob her of her final reservations and, with determination, she rose and crossed to her wardrobe. Stripping off the blue dress she was wearing, she changed into leggings and a serviceable travelling tunic before draping the cloak that Haldir had gifted to her around her shoulders. She retrieved her bow and quiver from their usual resting places, strapped her small dagger to her waist and then stole out of the room.
Having long since learned from Elladan and Elrohir the preferable routes to take when one wanted to sneak around without being caught, Faelwen was able to steal unchallenged out of the house and down towards the stable. Once safely inside, she lit a lamp and began to set about saddling her horse.
She was just adjusting the stirrups and dreaming up a plan to get past the border guards when a voice sounding behind her almost made her jump out of her skin.
"Going somewhere, elfling?"
Starting violently with a surprised gasp, Faelwen swung around to find Glorfindel – his arms crossed across his chest and an amused expression on his face – leaning against the doorframe of the main door to the stables.
"Glorfindel!" Her heart was still pounding from the surprise and it sank when she realised there was not a single moderately convincing excuse she could give him to get him to leave.
"You know," Glorfindel said conversationally, still leaning casually against the doorframe. "Your father suspected you would do something like this. He asked me to keep an eye on you. I laughed at the request. 'Come Elrond', I said, 'You cannot be serious! She has always been such a docile little thing!' I protested that you would not be so incredibly stupid. But apparently I was wrong in that assertion. I saw you creeping about the corridors and I knew that, with a quiver on your back, you could have only one purpose. I thought I would give you just enough rope to hang yourself before I caught you."
While Glorfindel spoke, Faelwen's eyes darted frantically around the stables, desperately seeking a way to get past her. The more sensible part of her brain told her she was being ridiculous – Glorfindel had brought down a balrog! How could she possibly hope to outsmart or outrun him?
Glorfindel noticed the directions of her eyes. "Oh, please do attempt to get past me, little one," he said lightly. "I am sure it will be vastly entertaining!"
"Let me past!" Faelwen said flatly.
"Now, you are coming back with me to the house," Glorfindel continued, as though she had not spoken. "And you can do it the easy way, walking at my side like the adult you are, or you can do it the hard way!"
"Let me past!" Faelwen said again slowly, her fists clenched at her side.
"All right," said Glorfindel seriously. "The hard way it is then." And, stepping forward, he grabbed hold of Faelwen and tossed her easily over his shoulder. Holding her in a tight grip, he exited the stable, closing the door behind him, and began to walk back up to the house.
"Put me down!" Faelwen yelled. "Glorfindel, put me down now!" She struggled like fury, but Glorfindel's grip did not slacken in the slightest. "Put me down!"
"You might as well save your energy, Faelwen!" Glorfindel laughed, but not unkindly. "I will put you down when we get to your room and I am convinced you've seen sense!"
When they reached her room, Faelwen swore so fluently that Glorfindel, stunned, momentarily stopped in his tracks. Shaking his head silently, he entered the room and set her down, closing the door firmly and standing in front of it.
"Faelwen, what has got into you?" he asked, his tone now kind. "I could count the number of times on one hand that I have seen you lose your temper, and then tonight you have turned into a little wildcat!"
"Because I am going mad!" Faelwen shrieked, suddenly unable to hold back her emotions. "Glorfindel, almost everyone I care about is out there – in constant mortal peril, and I just have to sit here and wait for news! I feel so useless! What in Eru's name is the point of being a healer if I sit here in safety, leagues and leagues away from the people who need to be healed?"
Moved by the tears now streaming down her face, Glorfindel walked her to her bed and gently pushed her down to sit upon it. Sitting beside her, he put an arm around her shoulders and guided her head onto his shoulder.
"I know it is hard," he said understandingly. "I do know, my dear. I see that same worry on the face of every member of this household every day. We are all afraid, young one, and it is understandable to be afraid."
Faelwen gave way to such a violent burst of sobs, that Glorfindel, alarmed, momentarily considered fetching Elrond; fearing that she was having hysterics. But her arms were now so tightly around his neck, that he did not think he could budge them.
"Glorfindel, I am so terrified!" she sobbed into his shoulder. "I love Haldir, I love him more than life! And I don't even know if he is still alive! I can't stand this constant waiting for news, this idleness! I am going to lose my mind! And what am I going to do if he does not come back? What if I never see him again? I...can't...lose...him!"
"Faelwen, Faelwen, my dear child...sssh, sssh," Glorfindel said gently, trying his best to calm her. He alternated between rubbing her back and stroking her hair. "Haldir is as fine a warrior as I have ever known. I am sure he will return to you. I am sure, sweetheart."
"And if not Haldir, who else must we part with?" Faelwen sobbed on. "What if it is the twins? Or Estel? Or Legolas? Glorfindel, I cannot cope, this is killing me!"
There was not much Glorfindel could say to comfort her – her fears were all dreadfully rational. He too knew it was unlikely that all of those they cared for would emerge from this awful period of Arda's history unscathed.
Wishing heartily that he was able to do more, Glorfindel simply held her until she cried herself into unconsciousness and then settled her into bed. As he drew the covers up over her limp form, his eyes rested on the glittering ring which had appeared on her finger on the day of Haldir's departure a few months before. He was of absolutely no doubt of its purpose.
"I hope you are able to come back and make good on that vow, my friend," he murmured quietly. "I truly, truly hope so!"