N/A: Okay, I just want to say this, I know that there's a continuity mistake in this chapter. Is something short, that would be fixed by adding/editing one or two sentences, but I can't for the life of me remember what it was and I took too long already in posting the chapter. I can't remember if it interfers with already established fic or with future chapters. If I remember what it was I'll edit it, and if you find it don't hesitate to let me know.
Warnings: Rape, torture and use of drugs.

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Chapter 13

There'll be peace when you're done

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Sunlight entered into the room and illuminated the bed mostly. He could have shifted so the light didn't hit directly into his face, but his body lay too comfortable in bed. Not because the cheap mattress of the motel was comfy or the sheets were soft, but it was the fallen angel laying in bed with him. An arm rested around his waist and his warm weight pressed against his back. It was only in these kind of moments when he allowed himself to have such peace. He and Cas did no longer touched each other, save when it came to sex or the stolen moments of waking up in the same bed.

Cas was a weak point. Something that made him vulnerable. One more thing that would leave a hole in his heat when he lost him. If he didn't push Cas away and said it was over, it was because he had promised to himself that he wouldn't screw this up. And he couldn't lose Cas beforehand. He knew that behaving as the jerk he was being consisted as screwing things up. But he was the master of denial, so he hid that in a dark corner of his mind and didn't think about it.

Meanwhile, they would fall asleep separately. No kiss or caresses after sex. And even thought they started the night on separate sides of the bed they would always find their way back into each other's arms. Only in their sleep, when the conscious was not awake to whisper poisonous words of self-hate. But the spell only lasted until Dean opened his eyes.

Cas never complained, he just accepted what he could take from Dean and was grateful for it. Sam had confronted him about it, saying that he didn't deserve to be treated as a doormat.

"Dean loves me, and I love him. It's just... he's in a bad shape now. He needs me..." he had said.

"And what about you, Cas? What about what you need?" Sam had asked him, imploring him to understand. "Who takes care of you?"

"I need Dean," Cas had replied cuttingly. "I've been alive since before humanity existed, I can take care of myself."

"Wow," Sam had said. "You truly are a Winchester now."

Cas, in his sleepy state, let the memory wander off, leaving no traces behind. He sighed and pressed closer to Dean, knowing he had the "still asleep" excuse.

Dean, who was more awake each second, tensed when his lover moved. Specially, when he felt Cas' morning wood. Not because the prospect of sex, particularly with Cas, was not good. But morning sex meant lazy sex, and lazy sex meant making love and that was something that Dean couldn't afford. Not when it was 2014 and all his worst fears were coming true. The image of his beloved Impala burnt keep mixing with the image of the rusted Impala he had found in the 2014 of Zachariah. He knew where all was heading, and it seemed Lucifer had been right all along.

With no delicacy, he untangled himself from Cas' arms and headed to the bathroom, to clean his body from the rest of come, sweat and guilt. When Dean closed the door after him, Cas sighed. He curled on the bed for a few seconds, trying to keep the warmth that Dean had left behind a little longer. But it was a hopeless battle against the laws of thermodynamics, and soon the warmth went away and was replaced with coldness. However even in the cold Cas' erection remained firm in place. He still needed Dean, but he knew that Dean was not going to be there for this.

So he took his dick in hand and he gave a soft first stroke. He repeated the motion a couple more of times, thinking about Dean's eyes looking at him with trust and love that first time they had made love, until a few drops of precome had come out. He moved his hand around the head of his dick to use the drops of semen as lubrication, and he started to jerk himself in earnest. He remembered all the times that Dean had stroked his dick, and that had been more than just a release of tension. He pretended it was Dean's hand the one jacking him off. He imagined that Dean was lying next to him, caressing his hair and whispering sweet nothings that were greater than the world to his ear. He imagined Dean telling that he meant everything to him, that being with him made everything that they've been through worth it.

Cas whispered and bit his lip trying to hold back the moans. He didn't want Dean to see him like this. He was afraid that if Dean found out how much he actually needed him that he would leave him for good. And Cas was afraid that he wouldn't be able to endure it as human without Dean. Sadly, he thought, he was afraid that he may get to know if he would be able to or not soon.

The Dean in his mind kept whispering to him, telling him not to worry, that he would never leave him. That he needed him far too much to even think of leaving him. And as Cas begun to reach his edge he felt as the Dean in his mind was about to say those three words that he had never said to him before.

When they got together Dean wasn't ready to say them, and Cas had had no problem waiting because he wasn't ready himself to say them either. As time went by, Cas got ready but Dean wasn't yet. But he would wait for him forever if necessary. Then Garth died and Dean closed himself. Cas now knew that waiting was hopeless.

"I love you," said the Dean in his mind.

Cas came with a small shout that he muffled with the pillow. He panted trying to recover his breath and he ignored the few tears that had made it down his face. When Dean got out of the shower, he commented nothing about it.

"We leave in twenty. Take a shower if you want," said Dean.

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When Cas stepped out of the shower, Dean was gone, he had probably gone to see if his brother was awake. On the bed, the bag was already packed, and next to it there was a neatly laid set of clean clothes. Cas dressed himself with a little more warmth in his heart, it was this kind of details that told him that Dean still cared for him.

With his bag in hand he closed the door and went to the reception where Sam had already handed in his key.

"Here you have," he said giving his key to the receptionist.

"Thank you," the receptionist replied. And Cas couldn't explain why, but something tingled in him when he met the cold stare of the man behind the desk.

"How much do we owe you?" Dean asked taking out a credit card under the name of Steve Walsh.

"Hmm, how about... your soul?" the receptionist asked and his eyes turned black.

Cas cursed himself for not noticing it sooner. Most importantly for not having his grace. With it he could have seen the demon's actual twisted face, he could have got the Winchesters out of this in the blink of an eye. With it he could fly away and leave behind the constant pain in his chest. Right now he didn't even had a weapon to protect himself.

A door opened behind the counter and several dangerously-looking people came out. They were not fully surrounded yet, but it was the only thing in their favor they got. But they have done well in worse situations than this with far less. If they were demons an exorcism should work, and if they were fallen angels their bare fist would work more than well.

"No, no, no," said a male voice coming from the open door behind the counter. "That's no way to treat our guest, isn't it?" said the man finally coming out from the room, his blue eyes spoke of danger and his smile of evil. "After all, we just want one word, right Sam?" asked Lucifer.

"No," Sam exclaimed faintly, seeing the face that haunted most of his nightmares.

"Haven't you missed me, Sammy?" Lucifer mocked him. "We had so much fun."

The boy with the demon blood, the boy who had set Lucifer free, the freak, the monster boy. Everything that he had been and labeled with came back to Sam. All his weakness all the times he hadn't been good enough. A demon blood junkie, a constant failure, a disappointment to Dean. Seeing the red-spotted face of Lucifer brought all back, rushing to the surface. Cas had gotten rid of the insanity that the time in the Cage had brought upon him, but he hadn't gotten rid of most of the emotional damage.

Sam spared a brief look in Dean's direction. The look of pure terror on his brother's face was enough. He wouldn't be a failure anymore, not again. He then crossed a look with Cas, the angel that had remained with them no matter what. He knew that he had Cas' support, even against the devil in person.

They had defeated him and Michael once, they could do it again.

"Whatever you came looking for," Sam said, "you won't get it."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that, Sammy," replied Lucifer. He looked at his companions. "Seize them."

The demons attacked. They charged against them fast and with decision. A demon attacked Cas with a rustic kitchen knife. Another went against Dean an angel blade, so maybe it was a fallen angel. No, his eyes went black. So possessed fallen angel, maybe? It didn't matter, Dean killed him anyway. A female one came by his back and grabbed his arm, twisting it into an awkward position. It wasn't anything Dean hadn't dealt with a thousand times before. With a well-practiced move he threw her away making her roll over his back. He then stabbed her in the heart. It was a good moment to check on how the others were doing.

Cas was managing well. He had a red gash on his left cheek, but it seemed superficial. Nothing to worry about. Despite not being an angel, Cas still retained certain angelic grace when it came to fighting. There was something about him that deserved respect. He slashed a demon and locked eyes with Dean. He was fine.

So Dean turned his attention towards Sam. His brother was in the middle of the fight. But all the demons were with their backs towards him. They were all either facing Dean or Cas, but not Sam. His brother killed the demons, attacking them by the backs, but they still wouldn't turn around to face him. Lucifer walked towards his true vessel nonchalantly. The demons fighting Cas and Dean kept them busy, preventing them from doing something about Lucifer. The devil stopped one step away from Sam.

"I think we have unfinished business, Sam," he said. Lucifer raised two fingers and pressed them against Sam's forehead.

In a blink, they were gone.

"No!" screamed Dean.

It couldn't have happened, it couldn't. But it had. And everything he most feared had became true. Lucifer had Sam. Lucifer had Sam to do as he pleased and force him into saying yes. Because he knew his little brother. He would fight and resist. But Lucifer had created Hell, was the master of torture himself. Sam had already spent years in the Cage, and he had barely made it through with his mind in one piece.

The most selfish part of Dean begged that if he couldn't find his brother in time, then he better say yes. It didn't matter if it meant the end of the world, he better say yes.

He continued fighting with renewed intensity, until every demon, fallen angel or whatever had made this possible was dead.

"Let's fucking go," said Dean, taking his blade from the last demon he had killed.

He looked around the room. The were only dead bodies and blood covering the floor. His eyes then found Cas that was looking at him with wide eyes. There was fear in the way he gazed at Dean. And the hunter could relate to it, fucking Lucifer himself had Sam. The end was coming.

No, he fears you, said a truthful voice in his mind. But Dean ignored it and send the thought into a far away part of his mind along all the other warnings that told him he was walking into a too familiar path.

"Do you know where he's taking him?" Cas finally spoke, his voice was guarded, afraid the wrong word might set Dean off. If he was afraid that Dean would either explode in sobs or anger, he didn't know.

"Detroit," Dean said drily. "He always said that it was going to happen in Detroit."

"Detroit is a big place," Cas contemplated.

"I know."

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His hunter instincts didn't leave him despite the panic he was feeling. Sam looked around assessing his situation. Considering the lack of windows and the humidity, he was probably in a basement of an -luckily- abandoned house. Which left him with only one escape route. Even if he managed to get out of Lucifer's grasp, there was still the no small matter of the demons guarding his only exit.

"No, Sam," Lucifer said as if he was reading his thoughts. "The only way you'll be able to leave this place is whit me inside of you." Lucifer looked at him coldly. "Now kneel," and with a movement he forced Sam onto his knees.

"I'm never going to say yes to you," Sam declared. His voice was firm in spite of the fear he felt.

Lucifer started to walk around him. "You and me both know that it isn't true. You like to play strong for a brother that sees you as a child, but you're weak and you know it." The devil came to a stop in front of him and met his defiant stare. "If you're so strong then tell me, how come I was released the first time. Oh, yes. You just couldn't resist to get your hands on demon blood and a demon chick. You're nothing but a junkie."

Doubt flickered in Sam's eyes. Lucifer was clever, he knew what insecurities to poke at.

"You'll say yes, Sam." Lucifer grabbed Sam by his chin and put his face centimeters away, where Sam could feel the devil's cold breath in his face. "You'll beg me for it." Lucifer moved his head and whispered next to his ear. "And I'll gladly comply."

Sam trembled. He knew there was more than one meaning in Lucifer's words. He wished that Cas had taken his memories as well as his madness. But he knew exactly how he'll beg and how Lucifer would complain. Against his will, a tear fell down his cheek.

He was terrified.

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"You're leaving Colorado State. Thanks for visiting," the sign next to the road mocked them.

They were traveling in a blue two-doors '68 Mustang. They had stolen the car when they were on their first case after burning the Impala, when they were away from Lawrence. It was a muscle car so Dean wouldn't feel ashamed driving it, and it was blue so it wouldn't remind him of the Impala. Or at least, that's what he told himself.

They had gone to Colorado to check on a possible lead about Croatoans. It turned out that despite all their efforts to stop it, Jehoel had succeeded. The virus was on the loose. They had managed to kill off the first infected in the small town they were staying, they had even be able to warn most of the town people. But it had been too late for several of the other towns.

Dean wasn't stupid. He glanced at Cas sitting shotgun and wearing those stupid hippie clothes. The angels were gone, Lucifer was running the show and Cas was human. Even if some details didn't fit it was all too similar to the future that Zachariah had showed him. He had broken the promised he had done to himself. Breaking a promise to himself was no new news, but this was the one promise he couldn't afford to break.

It filled him with anger. He was mostly angry at himself for letting everything happen. He couldn't help but to lash out on the people close to him. He spared a glance at Cas sitting next to him. He knew how close he was to become that broken version. The question was, what would be first? Drugs or orgies? Dean's own self-hatred made him ask to himself if it was his fault. A hateful voice in his mind insisted that it was, but as most things that he didn't like he shoved it away.

Enough of Cas. There were more important things to worry about. Like, for example, his brother in the hands of Lucifer. His brothers that was most likely being tortured as he drove.

No matter how many speed laws he broke there was a drive of fifteen hours between Colorado and Detroit. And that considering that they didn't stop at any moment. Almost an entire day before they could start searching for Sam in Detroit. It was plenty of time for his brother to say yes. No, Sam was stronger than that. But the mere thought of his brother being tortured made Dean nauseous.

Cas, who had not spoken any word since they got into the car, looked at the way Dean's hand clutched at the wheel and spoke. "We're going to find him." His voice firm, any other possibility was unthinkable.

"Cas..." breathed Dean, and for that second it took to say his lover's name he allowed himself to show his vulnerability. It only lasted until Cas opened his mouth to say something more. "Don't," he said steeling himself once more.

Cas said nothing.

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Sam had lost the notion of how much time has passed. It could have been days, weeks or even years. He was chained, suspended by his wrists. His entire skin felt on fire and his insides hurt as if they were slowly melting -which may be actually happening. His throat was sore from screaming, he long since stopped trying to keep them back. A demon came close to him and sliced him along his stomach, piercing a sharp scream right out of him. He could literally feel his guts falling to the floor from the slash in his flesh. He sobbed, there was no dignity to lose.

"Oh, Sam, are you hurt?" Lucifer mocked him. "Let me kiss your boo-boo better."

The devil grabbed him with cold fingers and kissed him on the chin.

The pain was gone and his body was good as new. He almost laughed from the relief but he knew it was temporary. He already wanted to keep crying knowing what was in store for him. He wanted to cry for help and beg for mercy, but nobody would help him and the devil knew no mercy.

Maybe Dean would come and save him, or Cas would come and take him out of his personal Hell as he already did once. Maybe that was it, maybe he had never left the Cage. A brief and weak illusion of success to further weaken his spirit.

This time the fire started to consume him from his insides.

"You never told me, Sam. Did you enjoy my little present?"

The hunter said nothing, but his mind started shouting in confusion. A different kind of screaming at last.

"Tell me, Sam, how was it seeing your father again? I gather it was a merry reunion, right?" Lucifer's tone was calm, if slightly tainted with satisfaction. He smirked when he saw Sam's eyes widen in surprise. "Oh, are you gonna tell me you never made the connection? Come on, Sammy, you're supposed to be the smart one, aren't you? Or did you leave your brother with an abusive and alcoholic father for nothing?"

The pain had retreated, allowing the fog in his mind to disperse, but Sam still was at a lost.

"I thought I was being obvious. Did you never wondered about my choice of wardrobe?"

Sam paid attention to Lucifer's clothes. He had a brown shirt over a brown-greenish T-shirt and jeans. A simple outfit that was the exact same that John had been wearing when he was a ghost. In a sudden flash of clarity he remembered that it was also what his father had been waring when he escaped Hell.

"John Winchester's soul has been mine all this time," Lucifer whispered against his ear, "and soon the body of John Winchester's son will be mine," he finished dragging his tongue along Sam's cheek to end up sucking a hickey in his neck.

Sam knew better than to squirm, though he wanted nothing more than to crawl away. His mind was getting into a state of shock, both to protect him from the new information as from what was about to happen next. He was beginning to miss the physical pain.

"Tell me, Sam," Lucifer begun as he dealt with Sam's belt and trousers, "was your father proud of seeing into what kind of sissy-girl his eldest son has turned into?" the devil walked behind Sam and put his head over the other's shoulder to whisper in his ear. "Was he proud when he found out that your brother was some angel's bitch?" Sam heard the sound of Lucifer opening his own trousers.

No, please, no, he screamed in his mind. But he knew that there was only one way to stop Lucifer, yet the price was too high.

Lucifer entered him in one thrust.

"Oh, Sammy, what would John say now if he could see you being my bitch," he said and he begun fucking him in earnest.

The pain was high but the humiliation was bigger. He tried to move his mind away from what was happening to his body. He thought of Dean, trying to gain strength from the image of his brother but with each thrust Lucifer's words sank further into him. The image of his brother soon turned into this broken shell of what Dean had become.

Silent tears went down Sam's cheeks. Soon, not even the thought of his brother would help him.

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They arrived at the limits of Detroit at the same time night did. Dean's eyes were rimmed red both from exertion as worry. An entire day of his little brother in the fucking hands of Lucifer. He was going out of his mind. He had failed and there was no way to fix this. But he will have to find one.

"We should stop," Cas said suddenly, startling Dean and driving him out of the dark place his mind had become.

"What?" he asked.

"I said that we should stop," repeated Cas. "We should find a motel to rest."

Dean got close to hit the breaks all of a sudden just to make a point of what a crazy stupid idea it was. "You're kidding me, right?" He stared at Cas in utter disbelief. "Are you out of your fucking angel mind?"

"I'm only suggesting the most logical course of action," Cas claimed with an infinite patience that was wearing thin. "Detroit is a big place to search for your brother and you've been driving almost non-stop the whole day. Even if we did find Sam some time soon we wouldn't be in any condition to face Lucifer."

"So you're saying that I should leave Lucifer to use my brother as a fucking toy for an entire night?" Dean questioned him, not caring that he was being rude towards the only ally he had.

"What I'm saying is that if we want to have any chance of success at all then we need to rest," Cas stated, he was not in the mood to play defense with Dean.

"What do you even care?" part of Dean knew very well that he was being unfair, but then the other part of him just wanted to go guns blazing.

"Sam is my friend," Cas said, this time he left no room for discussion in the tone of his voice. "And I won't let you just stroll in a suicide mission when there's the smallest chance of succeeding and saving him."

Dean said nothing, accepting the logic of what Cas was saying. Mostly he was doing it because it allowed him to ignore the elephant in the room. They had no way to find Sam. Unless some omens appeared there was no clue. And once they found Sam... How were they supposed to fight the devil in person and come out alive? Dean had no idea.

Maybe they were always meant to end this way, he thought pessimistically.

Dean stopped the car in the parking lot of the first motel he saw, named "Valiant Motel". He asked for a room with a king bed, if this might be the end of the world -or his world at last- then at least he would spend his last night in a good bed. Which seemed pointless considering that he couldn't stop pacing in the motel room.

After ten minutes, Cas couldn't stand it anymore.

"Dean stop it," he commanded.

"How?" Dean asked almost desperately. "When-?" but it was pointless to say out load what they both knew well.

"You won't accomplish anything wearing a hole in the ground," Cas told him.

"I know, but I can't just-" Dean voice broke down. For a moment all the vulnerability he tried to hide from the entire world came to the surface. "Not when he has Sam, Cas."

"I know," Cas said standing from the bed and putting a supporting hand on Dean's shoulder. He would like to show him his support and comfort him in so many ways, but he knew it was off-limits now. He then went to his bag and took out an orange pill bottle from it. "Here," he offered.

Dean's blood had turned ice-cold in his veins.

"Since when do you have that?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

Maybe it was a thread of angel-awkwardness that remained inside of Cas what made him answer with total honesty.

"Since John's ghost appeared," he replied.

"Why?" Dean asked in the verge of tears.

But the angel-awkwardness remaining inside of Cas wasn't enough for him to answer with the entire truth. "They help me sleep," he said. Which wasn't a lie, but he would never admit out load the reason why he couldn't sleep at night. The void he felt inside that kept him awake ever since Dean's touch had turned cold.

Dean took the bottle in his hands and looked at it with dread. They were sleeping pills. Not some kind of recreational drug, just sleeping pills.

But they're still pills, said a poisonous voice inside his head. A poisonous voice that spoke the truth.

Almost an entire month of Castiel taking these pills and Dean hadn't noticed. He looked at the stubble Cas had after an entire day inside the car, the gray shirt he was so keen on wearing and the resemblance to that Cas from 2014 was uncanny.

Cas was broken and it was his fault.

In that moment, Dean fully understood that he wouldn't be able to save his brother. The year 2014 had truly arrived and it had come to stay.

Not tearing his eyes away from Cas, he took a pill.

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Pain, everything was pain. A breath. But that only meant more pain. Try not to breath. But that brought pain anyways.

A laugh in the distance. Lucifer's laugh. Humiliation, pain. That's what that laugh usually went with.

"You're not going to last long. You know that, don't you Sammy?" Fear, that was what the voice brought. He would have thought that he couldn't feel more fear than what he already felt. But so he had thought about the pain.

A breath.

"You make a good bitch, Sammy. It's a pity I have to wear your body, otherwise I'd have you as my pet." Steps. A breath over his ear. "Didn't you enjoy it, Sammy? Maybe we can have another go so I can make you scream as the whore you truly are. What do you say, Sammy?"

Humiliation. No, please, no. Please. Tears went down his cheeks, not that he cared. Not again, not again. Please.

"No? Well, I guess there's others way we can spend the time."

Pain. Pain so intense. Focus on something else. Strength. Dean. Brother, dear brother. Hold on for him. Pain. Dean. Pain.

"So what's gonna be this time, Sammy? What's your answer?"

Pain. Dean, Dean, Dean. Strength. Pain.

Broken.

Broken Dean. Broken Cas. Nothing, nothing to hold on to. Only pain and broken shells.

Dean, I'm sorry.

"Yes."

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A/N: Okay, this chapter was kinda hard to write because I hadn't originally intended to put Sam through so much, but it was the devil and suddenly it took me there.
The characters are all going Endverse and there's still one turn more to the worst that needs to happen. Next chapter is proving to be the hardest to write ever.
I also never intended to add more smut into this chapter, I was done with it. But again, suddenly the story took me there and hey, who could know that Cas mastubating could be so sad.
Anyway, I hope you liked it.