Ch. 4 - Hope for the Best but Prepare for the Worst

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"Sorry I can't stay but I brought you some books." Carlton sounded apologetic as he set the stack down on the side of Ravit's bunk. Not that there was much space for books. The bunks weren't all that wide to begin with, and Ravit's already contained a tray with her breakfast, two water bottles (just in case she got really thirsty), and a number of pillows strategically placed to allow her to move into a half seated position without putting too much strain on her lower back.

"Are you heading out?" Ravit asked. Over the past seven days she had been treated to a stream of visitors as the Nathan James moved slowly up the Mississippi, but today the vast majority of the crew would be heading into St. Louis to disburse the cure to the waiting crowd. Ravit leafed through the books, able to guess almost immediately where Carlton obtained most of them.

Wide Sargasso Sea. The picture on the front - bold, colorful, a woman with a flower in her hair glancing over her shoulder - screamed Alisha. Suspecting a romance, Ravit dropped it to the bottom of the pile.

The Quiet American. Given that Greene was a former war correspondent, that was most likely Kara's pick. Ravit hesitated but ultimately passed. She wasn't in the mood to read about any war, even one that ended fifty years ago.

Picking up the next book, she frowned. "Gone with the Wind? How many books does Granderson own?"

Carlton chuckled. "That's from Miller. He turned twenty-one down near Costa Rico and we threw him a little party. Red claims he read it and it isn't half bad."

Snorting, Alisha dropped it into the reject pile, quickly passing on a book by Hemingway that she had already read and a technical manual that Wolf no doubt added as a joke, before stopping on one by Mark Twain. She vaguely recalled reading one of his books as a kid. "Huckleberry Finn. This is supposed to be a classic, right?"

"Good pick. All about the Mississippi River." Carlton leaned over and Ravit held her breath as their eyes grew level. Then he moved on, his lips brushing her forehead before he straightened. Pushing aside her disappointment, Ravit watched him disappear out the door. She could hardly fault Carlton for not wanting to give her a proper kiss when the slightest pressure on her back or legs was enough to set off one of Rios's alarms, after all. Picking up her chosen book, Ravit flipped it open. Today was going to be a long day.

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"How about now?" Doctor Milowsky asked.

Ravit kept her eyes tightly closed, as instructed, willing herself to feel something - anything. She knew that Milowsky was touching various areas on her feet and legs, but her lower extremities remained numb, nothing except the itchy numbness that had been her constant companion since the moment she woke up after the explosion.

"No." She hated how her voice shook, not wanting him to know how badly she wanted this to work. How horrified she was by the possibility, which now seemed so much more likely than it had when she first woke, that she might never again walk, never run, never do PT with the guys.

That she might be tied to this bed forever.

"You can open your eyes now." When Ravit did, Doctor Milowsky's face swam into focus. He helped her return to a half sitting position, laying on her left side, before gathering a chair from the corner. "We'll try again in a few days, see if there's been any change."

"When will we know for sure?"

"You received a significant injury, Ravit. The type of injury that takes months, sometimes even years to heal." Although Milowsky didn't add that she was lucky to be alive, Ravit could hear it in his tone, his exasperating seeping out despite his effort to maintain a professional bedside manner. Ravit wasn't sure why she disliked the man so much. Perhaps it was simply a case of hating the messenger. Although she greatly preferred having Rios perform her daily checks. The man might be lacking in humor, but he never seemed resentful of her presence the way Milowsky did.

"When will we know, Doc?"

Milowky sighed. "Spinal injuries are difficult to predict. Two people can react in entirely different ways, and the lack of feeling could be the result of swelling..."

"But?" Ravit demanded, cutting to the chase.

"But given that it's been a week already," Milowsky paused, then sighed. "I suggest that you begin preparing yourself for the possibility that the paralysis is permanent."

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Carlton rushed into the small cabin. "Sorry I didn't get back earlier. The crowd was huge! Almost double the size that Doctor Scott was expecting."

Ravit set down the book that she was attempting to read. Huckleberry Finn. An American classic about a boy sailing on the Mississippi. Despite the book's promise, so far Ravit found Huckleberry annoying and the nineteenth century language jarring. She showed him the book jacket. "I've managed to entertain myself."

"You like it?"

"What's the use you learning to do right, when it's troublesome to do right and ain't no trouble to do wrong, and the wages is just the same?" Ravit quoted. "You know that if this kid showed up on your boat you would have kicked his ass, then made him do double-PT for a month. Huck's kind of like Wright, now that I think about it. Lazy and obnoxious."

Carlton chuckled. "He grows on you. Sounds pretty cool, doesn't it? Floating down the river on a raft, watching the moon, nothing but you and the river."

"Helping a slave escape," Ravit observed dryly. "You liked this?"

Carlton chuckled, settling into the chair. "Not at first. Coach Bouchard made me read it back when I was fourteen. I told him it was insulting. Coach told me that people who don't read about the past keep making the same mistakes. Man knew what he was talking about."

A look, one that Ravit was all too familiar with, passed over Carlton's face. The one that he wore whenever he was thinking about his family, about his friends in Chicago, or his Navy buddies in Norfolk. Back when she first boarded the Nathan James, Ravit had resented the team - the entire crew really. Resented that they were safe in the Arctic while she was watching her team from Israel die, one by one. But it took only days before she realized that the sailors on the Nathan James had faced their own version of hell, emerging from EMCON only to learn that most of their families and friends were dead. When it came to this virus, nobody escaped unscathed.

"You may still find him. Your coach," she added quietly when Carlton's head shot up.

"Maybe." Carlton brightened. "Once you're back on your feet we'll head to Chicago. Better be prepared thought. Mama will stuff you so full of food that you won't be able to eat for a week."

Back on her feet. Oh, the irony of hearing those words now. Was it only two weeks ago that she and Carlton were lying on the Nathan James' deck, talking about what they would do once the cure was distributed? When he had first invited her to come to Chicago, to look for his family, to eat some of his mother's strawberry-rhubarb pie? While Ravit knew, courtesy of one of the last phone calls she managed to make back to Israel, that her own family had succumbed to the virus in the early days, Carlton still had hope of finding his. And she had imagined being there when he did, seeing the smile on his face grow, watching him get the happy ending that he so deserved.

It was a dream that would never come true. Because even if the Burk family managed to survive, Ravit wasn't going to Chicago. She wasn't even going to the mess.

"There was a good size crowd today?" Ravit asked, reverting to the original topic.

"Huge! It stretched for hours, people lining up to shake hands. Doctor Scott was ecstatic. Said that the country could be cured in a week if they all spread out."

Carlton reached forward to brush a curl off of her cheek and Ravit raised an eyebrow at him. "Did Tex get the balls to introduce his daughter to Doctor Scott?"

"Yup. Although even his kid realized that she's not into him. Said, and I quote, 'Stop making googly eyes at the woman, Dad, you're just embarrassing yourself."

Ravit was amused. She had yet to meet Kat Nolan, but the girl sounded like a spitfire. "I like her already."

Carlton continued chatting, Ravit nodding along, even as his words blurred together. "And Doctor Scott had us open up the hospital."

Carlton's final words caught Ravit's attention. "What hospital?"

"Memorial. It's next to the hotel where Captain Chandler plans to establish a control post. Doctor Scott is already recruiting staff, anyone with medical training that she comes across. That's where you'll move to, until you're back on your feet."

That phrase again. "Where will you be?"

"Commander Slattery is working on plans for us to move into the hotel as soon as Commander Garnett gets the power running. The sooner we get everyone off the James, the sooner the repairs can start."

Personally Ravit didn't see the point of repairing the ship. There were hundreds, possibly thousands, of abandoned naval vessels sitting in ports all over the world that they could commandeer. There was no reason to take the time to repair the Nathan James when there were so many options. But Captain Chandler, as well as the majority of the crew, seemed to find that suggestion sacrilegious. Not that it mattered to Ravit. She would be stuck in a hospital bed until...well, actually she didn't know what would come next. Would she be abandoned, forced to pay her own way now that they were in St. Louis? After all, there was little use for a sailor who couldn't leave her bunk. "My accommodations could use an upgrade. Next time get me a window."

"I'll make sure the new room has a windown," Carlton replied, taking her teasing too seriously, as he often did. "President Michener declared this the new capital. So we'll be based out of here for a while. Captain is giving the crew time off to look for their families."

Ravit looked up. "You should go. Don't stay here for me."

Carlton shrugged awkwardly. "Got some stuff to do first anyway." He brightened, pulling a slightly squashed paper bag out of his vest. "I forgot. I brought you these."

Pulling two slightly squashed looking cupcakes out of the bag, Ravit gave Carlton a puzzled look. Not that she didn't enjoy cupcakes, but Bacon had made a batch just yesterday. "Flattened pastries?"

"They're macaroons. To celebrate," Carlton explained. At her puzzled look, he elaborated. "Captain Chandler will be by to tell you officially, but earlier today President Michener issued an Executive Order making you and Wolf honorary members of the United States Navy. Means that you get the same benefits as everyone else, including free housing and food and medical treatment so long as you are in the States or connected to a Navy vessel."

Ravit stared. Even if she was able to regain motion in her legs, there was no way she would be able to pass the physical fitness tests for field work, and there weren't exactly a lot of desk jobs going around. "But I can't serve."

"The order is retroactive," Captain Chandler explained from the doorway. "During Phase Four of the virus several governments, including the United States and Israel, formed an armed coalition to stop the spread of the Red Flu. Under the agreed upon guidelines, all coalition forces were guaranteed certain rights and treatment by the other coalition members. Once you take the coalition oath, you will be considered a joint member of the United States and Israeli militaries from the day that you boarded the Nathan James and joined in our mission. It is our small way of thanking you for your exemplary service, Lieutenant Bivas."

The lump in Ravit's throat grew until she could barely swallow. She might have lost her family, her team, even her home to this virus, but the people on this ship, somehow they made it all a little less horrible to bear. "Thank you, sir. Thank you."

Master Chief Jeter smiled as he too stepped into the small space. "If you would please raise your right hand, ma'am."