Ch. 05 - "The course of true love never did run smooth." A Midsummer Night's Dream – Act 1, Scene 2.

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"She didn't even seem to care that I was leaving. Just smiled and told me good luck on the mission." Carlton looked at the rather cloudy liquid that Danny set down before him. Not that he cared very much what they were drinking, just that he wanted to be drunk. Very, very drunk. Drunk enough to forget Ravit's reaction to the news that, only six days after arriving in St. Louis, he was leaving. A reaction that seemed almost ... relieved.

God, was this another case where a woman was trying to tell him that she wasn't interested and he just wasn't getting it?

Before the virus hit, Kara used to tell him that he was always chasing the wrong women, going after the ones who weren't interested and ignoring the ones who were, but things with Ravit seemed different. Sure she was a bit cold when they first met, shutting down his early attempts at flirting, but Ravit was the one to kiss him. And not just the once either. Florida might be ambiguous, "an anesthetic" as Ravit put it. But what was that kiss in the bathroom about if Ravit wasn't interested?

Unless he had been demoted to the dreaded "friend" category. The one where he felt like a mutt being pet on the head as the gal told him that he was such a nice guy but there just wasn't the right chemistry. Kara could sugarcoat it all she wanted, but Carlton knew what that meant. He was boring. Too involved in his career and the military. Too set on following the rules. Not spontaneous or romantic or whatever if was that women wanted.

Maybe that's what changed with Ravit, his refusal to bend the rules. But had her offer that night in the showers even been serious? At the time he hadn't thought so. He had thought it was more of her teasing, her way of keeping him off-balance, letting him know that she was interested, should the occasion arise. Amused by his own pun, Carlton picked up the glass, watching as liquid slopped over the side, managing to get some into his mouth. "This stuff tastes like piss."

"Hey, it's alcohol," Danny replied, his voice glum. "You wanted booze and I delivered. Can't do more than that."

Carlton glared. While he knew that Green was drowning his own sorrows, leaving behind a five-month-pregnant wife for an undetermined amount of time was no cakewalk, Carlton couldn't help but resent the man a little. After all, despite breaking every rule against fraternization, getting a fellow officer pregnant, and almost sinking the ship, Danny somehow managed to come out squeaky clean, with the girl and the trust and respect of the senior officers.

"Think what you want, Burk, but you know it wasn't that easy." Danny stood abruptly.

Shit. Had he said all of that outloud? Leaning back in his chair, Carlton wondered just how drunk he was. Green was the closest thing he had to a friend right now, given Kara's preoccupation with her new job and impending last thing he needed to do was piss the guy off.

Carlton watched as Danny stomped over to the bar, presumably to pick up another round of the watered down crap that they were drinking. Almost immediately after the Nathan James' arrival in St. Louis with the cure, dozens of these small bars had opened, catering to the growing population of survivors looking to either celebrate their survival, or forget all that the virus had taken from them. The quality of the alcohol served varied, but Carlton hadn't wanted to take the chance of running into any of the enlisted men, so tonight he and Danny skipped the Nathan James' usual haunt and found their way to a more questionable establishment. Not that it was dangerous. Surprisingly, for the number of people arriving in St. Louis daily with nothing more than the clothing on their backs, crime in the city remained low.

Apparently people were still too thankful for the discovery of a cure to engage in anything more than the most basic of food theft and the occasional drunken brawl. It didn't hurt that in St. Louis, unlikely Baltimore or Norfolk, many of the safe zones held, which meant that immediately upon their arrival, Mayor Howard Oliver was able to put the surviving police force and National Guard out on the streets. Opening the banks had also been a huge factor. With Val's assistance, the newly formed federal government had managed to gain access to the banking system, allowing people to withdraw to a limited amount of cash. Although bartering was still common, most vendors were just as accepting of the familiar greenbacks once it became clear that the government would be backing the currency.

Danny set a glass of water down before Carlton, who quickly swallowed half of it, ignoring the slight taste of dirt. One thing that Commander Garnett had yet to manage was getting the water and sewer system running, leaving the city dependent on the Mississippi River as the most accessible source of H2O. Hopefully the stuff was boiled, although with the amount of alcohol in his stomach, Carlton figured that any bacteria would be instantly killed anyway.

"I got some food," Danny said as he sat back down. "Probably worse than MREs but you need something to mop up the booze before you get both of us arrested. I certainly don't want overnight watch the whole way to Chicago."

The fact that the XO had been assigned to deal with any trouble caused by the crew during their time in St. Louis was not lost on either man. Pissing off Slattery was never a good plan, since he was the one who handled the duty roster. Although with Captain Chandler now promoted to CNO, the task might soon be falling on Commander Garnett. Carlton knew that he should be thankful to Slattery for assigning him to a team heading towards his hometown, giving him an opportunity to look for his family. But the dread of leaving Ravit, spending the next few weeks or even months worrying about how she was doing, overwhelmed any gratitude that he might feel about heading towards Chicago rather than, for example, San Diego.

"Look, Green, about what I said. I'm wasted. I have no idea what I'm even saying." Carlton wondered if the words sounded as slurred to Danny as they did to him. Probably.

"I get it. Leaving her behind blows. Especially not knowing where you stand." Danny paused, taking a sip of his own drink. "Kara and I had a rough patch, after Gitmo. I thought some distance would be good but it was the opposite. It was like knowing that I couldn't talk to her made me want to talk to her more."

It wasn't a surprise that things between Foster and Green were strained after Gitmo. Kara's mood had certainly been shit. But this was the first time that either had actually spoken about it, and Carlton was curious. "So how did you fix it?"

Danny shrugged. "Captain found out what was going on and Kara got pregnant. Things kind of just fell into place after that. Granderson would say that it was fate or karma or something like that. I say lucky accident. No chance that Bivas is pregnant, right? Cause that makes dumping your ass way harder."

"Seriously?" Carlton stared at Danny incredulously. "You suck at this pep-talk business."

Danny shrugged, taking another swing of his beer. "Want me to get Kara?"

"God no," Carlton groaned. "She'll tell me that I'm an idiot. Somehow it's always my fault when things go to hell. What is it with women sticking together like that?"

Danny chuckled. "No idea, but might as well just accept that whatever you say, Kara's going to take Ravit's side."

Before Carlton could answer, a rather young woman - Carlton pegged her at nineteen - arrived at their table to deliver what looked like french fries. This place must have a connection to a farm, the only way to get something like potatoes these days. She ran her eyes over both men as she set the plate down, her skirt riding impossibly high on her thighs. "Heard a rumor that you boys came off the Nathan James. Is that true?"

"Yes, ma'am," Carlton responded, despite the dirty look that Danny was shooting him. They were supposed to be keeping a low profile, after all.

Eyes widening in a manner that was anything but innocent, the girl smiled at Carlton."I've never met a real hero before."

"Not heroes," Carlton shook his head, wishing it didn't hurt so much to do so. "Just regular guys."

"I'd love to hear all about it," the girl continued, sliding into the seat next to Carlton, her hand slipping onto his thigh.

"He's taken." Danny's voice booked no argument. With a pout, the girl swung her eyes towards the blond. Without missing a beat, Danny added, "I'm taken too."

"Well, if you boys change your minds, you know where to find me." Rising, the girl managed to give Carlton a rather extended view of her cleavage, before turning and heading back towards the bar, hips swinging.

Danny shoved the basket of food towards Carlton. "Eat. Before you do something that you'll really regret in the morning. And then figure out a way to make things right with Bivas. Because I'm not listening to you whine all the way to Chicago."

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Carlton managed not to stumble as he walked through the hospital corridor, thankful that the lack of overnight staff meant he could avoid talking to anyone. A nurse or orderly - he didn't really know the difference - nodded as Carlton headed down the hall towards Ravit's room. He had been here enough the past week that most of them recognized him. Two hours had passed since Danny dropped Carlton off in his room at the hotel, but Carlton couldn't sleep, his mind whirling as he tried to figure out where he stood with Ravit. The decision to visit her was spontaneous - and likely stupid - but once it occurred to him, he couldn't stay away.

Reaching her door, Carlton knocked softly. There was no answer, not surprising given the hour, and when he tried the doorknob it was locked. Carlton chukled. Trust Ravit to remember the little details. Never turn your back on a threat. Never let your guard down. And never, ever leave your door unlocked.

Feeling another wave of dizziness, Carlton slipped to the floor until he was sitting, the side of his head leaning against the door, hand sliding under the door as though he could reach out to hold her hand. "I'll do anything, baby girl. Anything. Just tell me what you want."

Carlton wasn't sure how long he sat there, eyes closed, barely awake, when he could have sworn that he felt Ravit's fingers brush against his, as though she were sitting on the other side of the door, leaning against it just like him. Even knowing that was ridiculous - Ravit could barely get from her bed to the wheelchair, let alone across the room - Carlton found himself smiling.

"Love you, my jumping bean."

And he could have sworn that he heard her voice just before he fell asleep. "Love you too. Even if you are a knucklehead."