Chapter 6 - "A lie that is half-truth is the darkest of all lies." ― Alfred Tennyson
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"What do you want me to do with him?" Wolf asked Ravit, nudging at Carlton with his foot.
Her eyes flickered to Carlton, who was lying on the floor near the door snoring. She had convinced the night nurse to overlook him, but there was no way that was going to fly now that people were arriving for day shift. An officer from the Nathan James passed out on the floor of a hospital was just too juicy to keep a secret and, once rumors started spreading, it wouldn't take long for Chandler or Slattery to hear them. Which is the reason that Ravit had the nurse get some ensign suck on overnight watch at the hotel to wake up Wolf at 0500 with a message that there was an emergency at the hospital and to get his butt over here immediately. Wolf nudged Carlton again and, in response, the obviously still-not-sober man rolled to his side and murmured something about five more minutes. It suddenly struck Ravit that this was the first time she had seen him asleep. Well, passed out drunk might be more accurate but still, without the stern look that Carlton typically wore while on duty, he looked younger, more peaceful.
Too young to be burdened with the care of a woman who would most likely never walk again.
A familiar bitter taste filled Ravit's mouth. Was it only two months ago that she joined the Nathan James, so full of optimism? Believing that the discovery of the cure meant that everything would somehow turn around? That the mission she was joining was one of peace and hope, rather than simply an excuse for more fighting?
"If you can get Burk into the spare bed, I'll tell Rios that he was here visiting late and fell asleep. It's technically against the rules since I'm now US Navy but Rios won't report him. We just need him out of the hallway before anyone shows up for rounds."
Nodding, Wolf bent to lift Carlton, dropping him back with a huff. "Damn, I'm surprised they managed to get him this far. The man is heavier than a bag of rocks."
Ravit didn't comment as Wolf shifted Carlton into a firefighter hold. Getting Carlton inside the door was no small feat. The first part was easy, she simply opened the door, allowing Carlton to collapse onto the floor inside. She had been slightly concerned about the thud when his head hit the ground, but given that the snoring continued uninterrupted, she decided that he was fine. Getting his legs inside had been tougher, requiring some creativity on Ravit's part. Finally she hit on the idea of looping his belt around the footrests on her wheelchair, which allowed her to draw him in just enough to get the door closed. A temporary solution, but one that bought her some time.
Time that she needed to process Carlton's words.
I love you, my jumping bean.
How could he love her? They barely knew each other, spending more time together here at this hospital than they ever had on the Nathan James. And her response, spoken without thought.
Love you too. Even if you are a knucklehead.
Her first instinct was to retract the words, to insist that it was circumstances, that they weren't true. After all, how could she have let that happen? She had spent the last few weeks since her injury building a wall between them, creating space, moving Carlton firmly into the friendship zone. Yet somehow he had wormed his way into her heart with his terrible jokes and his lame gifts. A tiny yellow teddy bear. Three slightly trampled roses. A container of smuggled booze that interacted terribly with her pain medication. More books than she could read in a lifetime. A framed picture of the team, one that now sat on her nightstand. But no matter how much she wanted to deny the words, Ravit knew that, whether or not it made any sense, they were true. She loved him.
Except that she couldn't. Not when she was here, like this, only half a woman...
Brushing her tangled thoughts aside, Ravit turned her attention to Wolf. "You leaving too?" Ravit asked, voice steady. She knew the answer, really. Like her, Wolf had made a decision to join the Nathan James to help spread the cure. And like her, he wouldn't leave the job half finished.
"Yup. CNO's staying here in St. Louis, along with Garnett, Foster and a handful of the engineers. Guess Foster's going to move to Michener's staff, while Garnett and her team focus on local infrastructure and repairing the James. I'm assigned to team headed to San Diego. There's a rumor that some of the bases might still be somewhat operational."
"And you're hoping that they might have a way to contact Australia."
It was a statement, rather than a question, but Wolf answered anyway. "CNO said that if enough personnel survived, he might launch some ships from San Diego to spread the cure to Asia. It would be faster than waiting for the James to make it around Cape Horn."
"So the Panama Canal is out of service?"
"Yup, at least in the short term. Satellite images show ships sitting in the middle. Commander Garnett said it would take her and a team weeks to clear it, and there's no way to know if there is other damage than will need to be dealt with."
Without the canal, it would take the Nathan James an extra month to reach the Pacific Ocean - and that was only if they didn't make any humanitarian stops. Despite his attachment to his ship, the CNO was a smart man. He knew that the better, and faster, option would be to send the Nathan James south to spread the cure to South America, while launching a ship out of San Diego directly to Asia. Of course, that assumed there was enough personnel still alive to do both. "Are many military survivors appearing?"
"We've had some guys trickle in, a few with a navy background. Green's putting them through the paces. If any of them check out, we'll split them up and add them to the teams. St. Louis is pretty landlocked, though, so we might run into more as we get closer to the coast."
"If Chandler launches a ship from California, will you be on it?"
The question itself was straightforward, but Wolf wasn't stupid. He knew what she was asking. Would he be coming back?
Wolf leaned forward, his face suddenly serious, waiting for Ravit to meet his eyes. "You're family now, Ren." Ravit made a face at the despised nickname. Or at least, one that she had despised when her brothers used it, back when they were still alive, teasing their little sister unmercifully. Now it felt almost ... comforting. "You and Miller and Burk and Green. Hell, the whole crew. Yeah, I'll catch the first ship heading to Australia. But I'll be back. I'm not leaving you behind."
"Good morning..." Doc Rios trailed off as his eyes took in the sight of Carlton snoring on the cot next to Ravit, while Wolf leaned over the bed. However, rather than question what was happening, he simply moved to Ravit's side. "I see you have company, Lieutenant Bivas. Let me check your vitals and I'll be on my way. How are you feeling?"
"Good," Ravit replied dutifully, just as she did every morning despite the fact that her legs felt like they were still stuck under that pillar on the oil rig, the frustration at not being able to move the dead stumps driving her to distraction. Although at least the dead feeling was better than the burning that she sometimes felt late at night, the pain that Milowsky blew off as phantom but that Doctor Scott thought might be a sign of nerve regeneration. Ravit had stopped mentioning the pain altogether, knowing that Rios would want her to start taking the medication again if she did, and the last thing she needed was to feel that loopy.
"The therapist is incredibly impressed with your progress," Rios continued, and Ravit wondered whether he had ever heard of the term patient-doctor confidentiality. Not that it mattered much. Nothing stayed a secret among the Nathan James crew for long. Which is how Ravit knew that Green was proposing before he popped the question and how she learned that Tex was caught sneaking out of Garnett's hotel room late one night. The later had raised a few eyebrows given Tex's stated interest in Doctor Scott but, as Carlton pointed out in a rare moment of intelligence, even Tex wasn't stupid enough to think that he stood a chance with the good doctor. "But your blood pressure is a little elevate today so you might want to back off a little."
"What type of therapy?" Wolf asked, interest clearly piqued.
"The hellish kind," Ravit muttered. Not that she didn't appreciate the fact that Rios had somehow dug up a physical therapist to work with her, but the woman was a slave driver. She insisted that the longer Ravit stayed in bed the harder it would be to get out of it, and while she was undoubtedly correct, it didn't change the fact that she was basically a drill instructor with a sadistic streak.
One who Ravit couldn't punch in the face.
"Physical therapy. Lieutenant Bivas here is now managing to move from the bed to her wheelchair on her own," Doc Rios said proudly, inadvertently spilling news that Ravit didn't plan on sharing. Not until she knew whether pissing without assistance was the beginning, or the end, of her progress. "Her upper body strength is impressive."
Wolf being Wolf, immediately picked up on Ravit's mood. "I guess you owe me. After all, I was the one that insisted on the boxing. Put you in maximum physical condition."
Ravit rolled her eyes. "Don't think too poorly of yourself now."
Doc Rios chuckled, then his usual serious mien returned. "I assume that Lieutenant Burk informed you that he will be leaving for Chicago, while Chief Taylor heads towards San Diego. I've been assigned to the team going into New England, but before I leave I will turn over all of my notes and paperwork to Doctor Stone."
"No Doctor Milowsky?" Ravit asked, perking up at the first positive news she had gotten all day.
"He's been assigned to the same team as Chief Taylor," Rios explained. "However, Ms. Wilson will be remaining behind and has requested that she continue to have her shift here on your wing."
"Betrise isn't going?" Ravit asked, surprised. If there was one thing that the shy teenager was passionate about, it was spreading the cure, not wanting anyone else to experience the pain that she had gone through, watching her family die.
"No, she can't volunteer to join until she's eighteen."
"Well, and Mason is on the team assigned to St. Louis," Wolf added, drawing a slight smile from Rios. Although the two had never confirmed a relationship, and most likely wouldn't until Bertrise was legally adult, it was a well-know secret among the crew that the two had a thing for the other.
Wolf waited until the door was closed to ask Ravit the obvious question. "You don't want him to know, do you? That they're focusing on you learning to use the wheelchair rather than trying to help you walk."
Ravit glanced at Carlton's snoring form again. The shapely arms. The muscular legs. The features that could have come right out of one of those silly women's magazines. The body that still worked perfectly. "He's so sure that this is temporary, that I'll get better and we'll live this perfect life together. Better that he leaves. Finds someone else. He'll forget me soon enough."
"I don't think you're giving man enough credit," Wolf replied hesitantly, almost as though he expected to be hit. Which he would have been, had he been within Ravit's now limited reach. "Talk to him. Tell him the truth. Let him decide if he can handle it."
"I'll think about it." Biting her lip, Ravit blinked away the tears that were now threatened to overflow. She rolled to her side, away from Wolf and Carlton. "Now I'm tired. Go get some sleep, pretty boy."
"Pretty boy? I hate Tex sometime," Wolf muttered. A few moments of silence followed. "I'll be back later."
Ravit waited until he was gone before she rolled back to face Carlton. "This is the best way. You'll see."