Sunday 8th September
''Come on, stop being such a chickenshit...''
Depite her obvious reluctance, Vickie had remained true to her word and had e-mailed over the last known address she had for her mother, leaving Alexa to make the arrangements.
Instead of going to New York with Jon and the guys for their appearance, she had flown out to Toronto on the Friday, planning to make the most of her time there. Her old friend Jenna had met her at the airport, the the two women being reunited after what seemed like forever. They had slowly drifted apart after Alexa moved out of the place they shared, only exchanging the occasional phone call or e-mail. But as soon as they were together again, they managed to pick up exactly where they left off, like no time had passed at all.
After packing up all the stuff Alexa had left there when she moved to Florida and arranging for it to be shipped down to Florida, they used the rest of the time to catch up on each others lives and reminisce about old times. Jenna had even offered to go with her when she went to see her mother, but Alexa had declined, insisting it was something she had to do alone.
But, what she hadn't been expecting, was the flood of emotions that hit her as she pulled up outside and put the car in park. It wasn't really anything special, just your standard two story suburban house, but she did have to scoff at the picket fence.
Of course it had a picket fence.
Turning the engine off, she leaned her head back and closed her eyes, trying to calm her nerves before she even thought about getting out of the car.
''What are you doing?!'' Alexa cried, panic rising in her chest as she watched the woman dismantle the last piece of the ring that had been standing in their backyard.
''What does it look like I'm doing?'' She snapped, not even sparing her a glance. ''Your Dad's gone. We don't need this anymore.''
''What? No, I-''
''Look, it's about time you grew up and stopped with this ridiculous wrestling fixation, okay?''
''But-''
''No!'' Amanda screamed, throwing the screwdriver down before storming over to her daughter. ''I'm your Mother, what I say goes and you're NOT doing it anymore, you hear me? If he hadn't filled your head with all this crap...''
''It's not crap!'' She argued, her bottom lip quivering as she fought back tears. ''Dad says... Dad said I was good, like, really good... and I love it... I've already lost him, please don't take this away from me too.''
''I've made up my mind, Alex. It's done.''
''I hate you.'' Alexa hissed, her eyes burning with anger.
''Yeah?'' The older woman didn't even flinch at the harsh words. ''Tell me something I don't already know, kid. I bet you wish it had been me that had died instead of him, huh?''
''What? No, I-''
''It's fine. I get it...'' She stared into her daughter's eyes blankly for several moments before heaving out a sigh. ''I've been thinking and I've decided that you're going to go and live with Uncle Mando.''
''I.. What?'' She breathed, practically inaudibly.
''You've never needed me. Never. It's always been you and him, against the world...'' Amanda swallowed, struggling to keep her composure. ''He loved you so much... more than I've ever been able to.''
Alexa couldn't stop a tear from leaving one of her eyes and streaming down her face. ''You want me to go?''
''I...'' Her eyes were pointed at the ground, refusing to make eye contact with her daughter. ''It's for the best.''
She was jolted out of the not so pleasant memory by the sudden blasting of Fall Out Boy coming from her phone. Quickly pulling from her pocket, she found Jon's name flashing across the screen, pulling a soft smile from her lips.
''Hey.''
''Hey yourself. You have a good time with Jane?''
''Jenna.'' She corrected with a snort, shaking her head. ''And no, we had a great time actually. We packed up all my shit and it's getting shipped down to my place first thing tomorrow, I'll have to go through it all on our days off... How was the signing?''
''Yeah, it was good. A lot of people asked about you.''
''Yeah?''
''Yep. Joe got told off by some kid for hurting you on Smackdown, you should've seen his face, it was hilarious. And some girl gave us a gift bag to give to you...''
Alexa zoned out as he rambled on about some of the things the fans had given them, her gaze drifting back over to the house as her stomach fluttered nervously.
''Babe?''
''Sorry, what?''
''I said our flight's due to get in at about midnight, are you still alright to come get us from the airport?''
''Uh huh, sure.'' Alexa replied distractedly, her fingers idly fiddling with the zipper of her hoody.
''What's going on, you're acting all weird... well, weirder than normal, anyways.''
''Ha ha.'' She muttered drolly. ''Very funny.''
''I try... so, what is it?''
''Uh... well, I kind of decided I was going to visit my Mother.''
The other end of the line was silent for a few seconds, which likely meant he understood how important this was. Gently, he responded. ''Your mother? The one who pretty much disowned you when you were a kid? That mother?''
''That's the one.''
''I thought you never wanted to see her again?''
''I didn't. I don't... I just...'' She sighed. ''Do you think I'm making a mistake?''
''Honestly? No. I think this is a long time coming. It just seems really sudden is all, you've never even mentioned it to me.''
''I know, I'm sorry... This has been hanging over me for years and I just thought it was finally time. I should have done this a long time ago. But I didn't, and it's still an open wound for me. One way or another, I have to close it. We're moving in together soon and I wanted to start this new chapter in my life with a clean slate, you know?''
''Reconciling with terrible parents is kind of my jam, but this is way different from what I went through... but I totally get it.''
Nodding to herself, Alexa fell silent for a few moments before she took a sharp breath. ''Okay... I'm going to go do this before I bottle it... I love you.''
''I love you too... and I want you to remember that even if this doesn't work out, you've got a shit ton of people who care about you, okay?''
''I know... Bye.''
''Bye.''
The phone clicked off, and the dial tone filled Jon's ears; the man making his way back over to where Joe and Colby were waiting for their lunch to arrive.
Joe's brow furrowed with concern as soon as his friend approached, dropping down into the seat opposite with a frown. ''What's wrong?''
''I'm just worried about Lex, she's gone to visit her mom...''
The Samoan's eyes widened in genuine surprise as the man beside him almost choked on his drink, both of them well aware of the history there.
''That's kind of out of the blue... did you know she was going?''
''No.'' Jon shook his head, agitatedly bouncing his knee up and down as he ran a hand over his face. ''No, she never even mentioned it to me.''
''Lex will be fine, she's the strongest person I know.'' Colby reassured, a smile on his face.
''I know-''
''But you're more pissed that she didn't talk to you about it first?'' Joe asked knowingly.
''Yeah...'' He replied, eyes darting off to the side. ''Is that bad?''
''You guys are about to start your future together. Of course it's going to hurt you that she didn't share something like this with you.''
''That's what worries me. If she can keep that kind of important shit to herself, then what else isn't she telling me... I thought she was getting better at the whole trust thing.''
''I don't think it's about trust, dude.'' Joe interjected gently, resting his elbows on his knees as he leaned forward. ''And I don't think it's about her not wanting to discuss her past with you either, it's probably more about her not wanting to relive it herself.''
Jon sighed, silently agreeing with what his friends were saying.
While Alexa maintained a blasé attitude when she spoke her mother, deep down, he knew how much it affected her. She didn't like to talk about it so he had never actually asked her exactly what had happened, all he knew was what he'd heard on the podcast she did with Colt last year.
''Yeah, you're right... it'll be fine.''
Almost as soon as she hung up the phone, Alexa jumped out of the car before she could talk herself out of it. Her heart was hammering in her chest as she opened the fence and marched up to the front door, pausing just before she was about to make the fateful knock.
Maybe she was making a mistake... Maybe she was better off not knowing why...
She took took a few deep breaths, telling herself that is she didn't do this now then she'd never have the guts again. Spurred on by that thought, she stood up straight and knocked firmly on the door before the sounds of silence consumed her.
The sound of the door opening eventually reached her ears and her heart leapt into her throat as she looked up, expecting to find her Mother standing in front of her.
Instead, she was greeted with the sight of a smartly dressed, tall, brunette in his late 40's.
''Uh... hi.'' Alexa stammered awkwardly.
He smiled down at her politely. ''Can I help you?''
''Is... does Amanda still live here?''
''She's not in right now but she should be back any minute.'' He pulled the door open further. ''You're more than welcome to come in and wait?''
''Okay.'' Alexa eyed him warily as she stepped past him, walking cautiously into the foyer of the house. ''Thanks.''
The door clicked shit and he regarded her with a smile. ''Can I get you something to drink?''
''Uh, water would be great, thanks.''
''No problem.''
He headed off to the kitchen while Alexa moved into the living area which was off to the side. It was a lovely place, spacious and clean with comfortable looking furniture and interesting pieces of art on the walls. As she glanced around the room, her eyes landed on a set of photo frames that were displayed on the mantelpiece and she wandered over to get a closer look.
A lump formed in her throat when she found the unmistakable form of her mother staring back at her, looking just the same as she remembered, just slightly older. There were a photos of her and the man she had just met, obviously her husband, since one of them was taken on what appeared to be their wedding day. It was when she got to the last couple of frames that she paused; her heart dropping when she realized what she was looking at.
''Here you are.''
The sudden re-appearance of the man almost made her jump out of her skin, and she shot him a small smile as she accepted the glass of water. ''Thank you.''
''I'm sorry, I never introduced myself; I'm Simon, Amanda's husband.''
''Nice to meet you.'' Alexa forced out a smile, her eyes drifting back towards the mantelpiece. ''Are... uh, are those your children?''
Simon followed her gaze and nodded, picking up the frame and smiling down at it fondly. ''Sofia and Oliver... that was taken at their birthday party last year.''
''Twins?''
''Yeah.'' He laughed. ''They're quite the handful.''
She gave a half-hearted chuckle, unable to ignore the feeling of rejection that settled heavily in the pit of her stomach. There wasn't any trace of her existence to be found... this was a mistake.
Alexa couldn't stay there any longer and, after shakily shoving the glass into his hands, she backed away towards the foyer. ''I'm sorry, I've got to go.''
Simon furrowed his brow. ''I thought you wanted to-''
''Yeah, I changed my mind. I can't.''
Alexa didn't wait for a response as she all but sprinted out of the house and across the road to her car. She heard Simon calling after her, asking for her name, but she ignored him. It was only when she was safely in the car and halfway down the street that she finally let out a small sob.
After making her way to the hotel and checking in, Alexa spent the rest of the day in the room by herself, ignoring everyone who tried to contact her. She ordered room service and settled into the large bed, watching random crappy TV shows in an attempt to distract herself.
It didn't work.
Her mind kept drifting back to the house and the fact that her Mother had seemingly forgotten about her and, despite everything, it still hurt.
She only left the confines of the room when it was time to head to the airport; throwing one of Jon's hoodies on over her oversized Shield t-shirt. That, paired with her sweatpants and converse, made her look like a compete mess but she really didn't care.
It didn't take her very long to get to the airport and she spent twenty minutes waiting inside before Jon's form finally came into view. Ignoring the weird looks she was getting from passers by, Alexa threw herself at her boyfriend when he was close enough, nearly knocking the wind out of him as her arms wrapped around his neck.
''Someone missed me.''
She couldn't even come up with a witty retort, his scent flooding her senses as she buried her face into his neck. ''Mmm.''
Jon chuckled, his own arms looping around her waist to give her a tight squeeze before finally pulling her away, his eyes full of concern when he saw her face. Her beautiful violet eyes were bloodshot, a series of thin red veins creeping around her irises.
''Babe, don't take this the wrong way but you look like shit...''
She sighed, letting her feet drop back down onto the floor; she had purposely stopped off in one of the bathrooms on the way to the arrivals gate and made herself look as composed as possible, but it obviously hadn't worked as well as she thought.
''Where's Colby and Joe?''
''They lost Joe's bag so they're trying to sort that out, don't change the subject... what happened?''
''I didn't even see her.''
He cocked a brow, wondering why she had been crying when she hadn't even spoken to her mother. ''You didn't?''
''Her... her husband was there, he said she'd be back soon so he invited me in to wait. I was only in there a few minutes before I left, I couldn't do it.''
''You seemed pretty amped when I spoke to you earlier, what changed your mind?''
''Saw some photographs of her new family, there wasn't one of me anywhere.'' Alexa faltered only a second before plastering her face with what looked almost like a genuine smile. ''I figured if she's not giving me a second thought, why should I bother with her, you know?''
''Well, we're here for a couple of days, maybe after the Smackdown taping you could go back. I'll come with you.''
''Do you hear me telling you that you should go see your family when I know you don't want to? No. Just leave it, please.''
''Lex-''
''It's fine, honestly... I don't even know what I was thinking.''
He scoffed lightly. ''Yeah, you're not the only one... I've got to say Lex, I'm actually hurt you didn't want to talk to me about this.''
''I'm sorry.'' She frowned, only just realizing how he must be feeling and feeling even worse because of it. ''I didn't mean to... I'm just not very good at asking for help and I didn't want you to worry about me.''
''Hey.'' His hands cupped her face and tilted her head up, forcing her to look at him. ''That's what I'm here for, to help you. And I'm always going to worry about you... I don't worry at all when you step into that ring, but I do worry that one day you'll fall and break your neck because you're so damn clumsy. I worry way more than I should about you choking on a pizza crust because you inhale your food so fucking fast.. at least this would have given me something real to worry about. I just want you to talk to me.''
Alexa was touched. Mildly offended, but mostly touched. ''I will, I promise.''
''We've got plenty of time tonight...''
''Okay.''