02: He terribly knows that she is a mistake he wants to take a risk.
AU. Disclaimed.
Late
by: you are my math
- He will realize when it is too late -
Because who would have thought that he will fall for you?
/-o-/
And so he says he won't romanticize heartbreaks—ever in his life—because it's like forcing to be alive when you have died…
Until, he sees her.
The holder of his heart; the kiss and tell of his actions; and his thought of nothing lasts forever.
He knows it won't be the same anymore. He knows it will be a privilege to him.
But along it…he terribly knows she is a mistake he wants to take a risk.
"I'll accompany you home." He offers, whispering beneath the shadows of his uncertain feelings.
She smiles, and refuses it. He insists, as he holds her hand.
But she let go as soon as his feelings overwhelm the best out of him.
And, he wonders why the pain is so intoxicatingly beautiful. Does he enjoy masochism?
The pure bliss of pain envelops him, but he refuses to consider it, thinking that she's just afraid to take the risk…that unbearable risk of falling in love with him.
He feels it. He's not smart for nothing, and so he feels it.
As soon as the train crosses, he dares himself to utter.
"I'm sorry, I didn't realize you call."
"I have things to do…"
"I think I must've fallen in love with you,"
A pause, as the train passes from their sight, and as the silence fills the space again, he continues.
"I'm sorry."
She looks at him, perplexed.
For that moment, he stares at her. Does she hear it all?
She isn't pretty like any other girls, but she has something within, and he thinks he won't risk the chance of letting the others know.
She is wonderful, feisty, independent, special, but not pretty.
She is…beautiful. So much, he loses himself.
"For what?" She didn't hear it, and he silently wishes she did.
Because when ego plays its role, there's no turning back than to take all the outcomes.
It's only a matter of crossing the line of life and temporary death.
"Nothing." And he can't figure out why his heart suddenly made a leap; why his chest suddenly tightened; or why he feels agitated—incomplete.
He wonders, does she really love him all this time, or is it just him who assumes that it is all real?
Maybe it's all about lies.
Maybe it's about how well you play the game.
Maybe it's all just an act.
Maybe it means to entertain their friends only.
He doesn't know. The assumptions wound him.
His lips are unable to open and his throat is dry. He can't say a word.
All this time, maybe he isn't just really that smart to even realize it.