In which there is a dead end

AN: Sorry for the day-late post. I was sedated for a dental thingy yesterday and that leaves me a little whacked out afterwards.

There are two things I'd love some input on, both at the bottom when you finish reading.

Guest replies at the end again, due to length. (sorry if I deceived you into thinking there was more than there is) Enjoy the chapter!

-notes and teaser at the bottom-

The next day, Alby, Newt and the Builders are all gathered at the edge of the woods behind the Keeper's hut as they work on the broken wall. I finish up in the Medi Tent and start my trek for the Bloodhouse as usual.

It's just after lunch time.

Two Runners race back into the Glade. They blaze in through the open Doors like hell is on their heels, one of them stumbling.

Both boys are dark haired, one taller than the other and they drop to the ground as soon as they're clear of the hard earth near the threshold of the Maze. The taller of the two is in a pale shirt that makes it easy to see the tears and raw skin beneath, even at the distance.

Doug and Dimitri.

I veer off course, running over to the pair of them.

I think I hear some of the Track-Hoes yell out, spotting them from the Gardens.

"Whoa, what happened?" I ask as soon as I'm in hearing distance.

Dimitri swivels to face me. He's breathing a little hard and his eyes are wide, but he's not concerning me enough to think this is an emergency.

"Outer Ring," Dimitri begins explaining in broken sentences. "Section nearly crushed him. Then we were running back through the Narrows and his leg gave out."

"It's just where I caught myself on the wall," Doug puts in, shrugging to point out the long, angry grazes up his left arm.

I turn to him instead, kneeling down and gently peeling the torn shirt sleeve open to better see the injury.

It's really a wonder this kind of thing doesn't happen more often.

"You've got some grit in there," I tell him. "It needs properly washing out. What about your leg?"

"A sliding wall hit it," he says. "Nothing broken and no blood. Just aches a bit."

I bite my lip.

He says it just aches, but he's not putting a lot of weight on it as he stands here.

"You should head to the Infirmary," I say. "Clint's there. He can get it properly checked over. Don't let him amputate anything. Are you okay?"

I turn to Dimitri, directing this last part to him. He just nods, looking a little shaken.

"Yeah, fine. It's just…he dropped his pack when he fell. It's still out there and…well…"

He needs to go and get it.

But Runners don't go out alone.

"Doug? Shuck; what happened?"

Zart and Rob both run up, taking in the situation with quick eyes.

"Tripped," Doug supplies, which is a simpler explanation.

"Can one of you help him to the Medi Tent?" I ask the pair of them. "We're going to tell Alby."

Rob jerks a thumb over his shoulder. "I'll go back to the others, let them know what's up."

Zart nods and steps forward. Slinging Doug's arm over his shoulder, they start for Homestead with a slightly shuffling gait. I give a single tug on Dimitri's sleeve and start jogging towards the Deadheads.

…

Alby drops his machete when we run up.

His face is concerned, but not overly so as Dimitri quickly explains what happened and that Doug's already getting seen to.

"There's something else," Dimitri says, when he's finished covering the situation. "A buckle broke and Doug left his pack when he went down…We should really go and get it."

Alby's eyes flicker from Dimitri to me, and then all he does is nod towards the wood behind the rest of the Builders. "I'm going to check on Doug," he says. "You run that bit past Newt."

…

I ask Dimitri to head up to the Bloodhouse to let the Slicers know what's going on, since I never got there, and I head into the woods alone.

Newt glances up and sees me coming. "You said you were staying away," he teases.

I have to work out how to get used to my heart twisting like that.

"Sorry," I say, truly apologetic. I hate that I'm about to wipe away his good mood. "Doug's in the Infirmary."

He swings his machete down and lets it go, the blade embedded into the branch he's working on. "What?"

So I repeat the story, giving him the highlights in a rush.

"Dimitri said we need to get the harness," I finish. "Something about a debrief and Minho killing him if he leaves it."

"Minho will kill him if he takes you out there," Newt replies, voice tight but not mean. I get the feeling those words weren't even for me. He shakes his head and adds, "Minho knows what he's doing, but Dimitri's still learning; he hasn't been a Runner for two months."

And this makes all the difference.

Newt didn't tell me I couldn't go into the Maze the first time this came up, despite not wanting me to. It's not about me. It's the person with me.

Minho would never get us lost. Dimitri just possibly might.

"But Doug always used to keep maps in his pack," Newt continues. "If we leave it out there and the Grievers get it…"

We could lose valuable information.

He doesn't need to finish the sentence.

I can see that he doesn't want me to go again, but regardless of doubting Dimitri, he's not going to tell me not to. And he's always been good at looking at the big picture.

Newt nods firmly, despite the worry I can see clouding his dark eyes. "Its gone noon," he says, voice strong and decisive. "You only have a few hours. Take the straightest path you can…"

His voice tails out suddenly, and I get the distinct impression he wants to tell me to be careful, or not to get lost, but he knows that I can't promise him either.

I can already see the weight of his decision haunting his eyes; darkness seeping into the earthy brown of them like poison.

He won't change his mind, but it will rest heavy and suffocating on his chest, just as soon as we've gone. I know because it would for me, too. I'd never ask him not to go, if things were reversed, but I wouldn't breathe properly until he was back, either.

Impulsively I move forwards and hug him.

My fingers curl into the back of his shirt and, as though it's instinct, he hugs me back; hesitant for a beat, then tightly. I don't know whether it's more for me, or whether I'm doing it to assure him. Whatever feelings I've realised I have for him, he's always been my friend first, and I don't like giving him something else to worry about.

He's warm and solid and my heart pounds, but I only let myself stay there for a second.

We need as much time as we can get in the Narrows.

There's a piece of me – small, tucked at the back of my thoughts – that wants to kiss him. It's the same part of me that is scared I may not come back, but I don't know what to make of the fleeting thought, or the swooping sensation that follows in its wake. Even if I did, I'm not brave enough to try. Not yet; not with this. And I wouldn't want it to be a goodbye.

"See you later," I say, moving away. It's the best promise I can give him.

I leave him in the woods, running to meet Dimitri at the Doors and trying to quieten my mind.

…

It's been a long time since I stepped over the threshold into the Maze.

Nothing about it seems to have changed; still the same, towering stone walls, long dark shadows and ivy creepers.

The bright, sunny field gets quickly left behind us as Dimitri leads me into the winding passageways of the Narrows.

What I learned from Minho feels distant. Cracks in stone; a broken piece of rock, weeds growing in certain places and gear teeth set into the seam of the walls, waiting for dark when they can start to shift.

But I fix my mind on the fragments I remember and try to think back to those two days as Dimitri navigates. I work on piecing them together as I run. I'll need them.

The Maze may not have changed, but I have.

I saw Justin go mad, saw him sentenced to these very paths. I watched Dimitri take his title and the weight that comes with it; saw him learn to shoulder it.

I've lived in the Glade and become part of it, truly, since the last time I was here, and somehow, that only makes it more menacing.

One wrong turn, and this place could take my life today.

Five months ago, that wasn't a lot to lose. Now it is.

…

I missed the running.

Running in the Glade isn't the same; it's a small space, really, and I know exactly how long it is; how many strides it takes to sprint from one wall to another.

Running out here feels freeing; a never ending path that I don't already know by heart and with each step it feels like I'm moving somewhere; not just standing still.

I didn't miss the way time lingers on your consciousness, ticking away. I didn't miss the ever lengthening shadows or the hollow echoing of our racing footsteps. I didn't miss the way the stillness presses into my back.

And for the first time, there's a part of me that whispers in the back of my head. You're going to get lost out here.

No wonder people lose their minds.

I frankly don't know how Minho and the others haven't. But then…I suppose there's a confidence that comes with knowing your way.

I never felt that tickling sensation of fear, just barely there, when Minho was with me.

And much as I do trust Dimitri, I can't convince my subconscious of that.

…

The place where Doug fell doesn't stand out very much.

I remember George's Tomb with a dim but clear ease; the dried blood, torn cloth and gouges in the walls.

I don't know what I was expecting, but I almost laugh in relief to see nothing of the kind here.

It's a simple passage, just like the ones we've been running. There's a sharp left turn at the far end, creepers hanging on the wall where it angles back on itself. There's a rough cropping of rock down one side, the crumbled stone already starting to weather smooth again.

A leather harness lies on the ground, pack tied on and one of the buckles glinting in the low light.

"That's where he caught his arm," Dimitri says, breathing deeply and pointing at the rough line of wall.

It looks almost like something quite big collided with it at some point, a long time ago.

I walk over to the harness and pick it up. It seems quite light and small, considering how important it seems to be.

The buckle that broke rests just a few feet away, bent out of shape. I pick that up too, but I can't fix it out here even though my mind can see how to flex it back to a square and loop it onto the strap properly.

It will take too long.

Instead, I put a few knots in the broken belt – knots that Eric once taught me – and pull the harness onto my back.

Dimitri still has his own, so this will be quicker.

"You both ran a long way back to the Glade if Doug tripped here," I say, half to myself. "We've been running a while."

"Coming on for a couple of hours," Dimitri agrees, eyes turning up to take note of the sun's position. "And yeah; he pulled himself up and pushed on. Its one of Minho's rules," he continues. "Don't stop running." There's a lilt to his voice that makes me think this is something he's heard a lot and been taught to memorise. "Don't look back."

"Runner's rules?" I ask.

Somehow that sounds like Minho.

Dimitri pulls a slightly guilty face, though. "Yeah," he admits, awkwardly. "Only we're not supposed to…there's things…"

He fumbles for words, and I realise there's probably things he just can't tell me.

"Let's go," I say instead.

We need to move.

Dimitri casts one last look around then nods.

I try to ignore the ticking clock in my head and how long the shadows are as we run back the way we came.

…

I figure we've been out over three hours by now.

Doug fell in the Narrows, but it was quite a way out, and based on the direction of the falling sun, it seems like we ran around to the other side of the Glade.

I'm a little surprised that I can find the space for it, but I'm still curious about how they split up to search the Maze. Its something I've not thought about before, but I realise I probably should have.

And then that thought goes flying out of my head.

We turn the corner and skid to a stop.

Dead end.

I feel Dimitri's shock and panic as though it's tangible. He recoils next to me, looking back around the corner with wide, scared eyes.

"What? No," he says, mostly to himself. "No; this- this was the right way."

My stomach jolts. "Are you sure?" I ask, knowing even as I say it that it's probably not going to help.

"Yes," Dimitri chokes. "Yes, I—Shuck. No…"

I bite down on my lip. My own panic seeps into my chest. I feel it twist inside me; a sickening sensation.

My heart pounds against my ribs and in my ears.

Told you, says the little piece of me that dreaded this; that expected it. Lost. Forever. Won't that just kill Newt…

His name in my head is like a switch.

Shut up, I think harshly to myself. I don't even know if my thoughts are true, but the fear that caused them churns in my chest, solidifies into something fiercer.

I breathe through it, feeling adrenaline flood white hot through my blood. My heart races but my head clears. I look more intently at the dead end.

There are no gear teeth in the seam of the walls. It's just a square alcove on the end of a path.

Dimitri paces back up to the last turning and I can see the tremor in his shoulders.

I look up. The sky is pale and the sun so far out that I can't see it. It won't be long before it's below the height of the walls, and then we'll have minutes, not hours before the Doors close for the night.

And I recognise nothing of where we are. I don't even think Minho brought me this way back when Ben was sick.

I move away from the alcove and block Dimitri's frantic pacing.

"Hey," I tell him, fighting to keep my voice level and firm. "Hey, look at me."

And he does.

His pupils are blown wide and his face is pale, but he fixes his eyes on me.

"Breathe," I say. "This isn't the right path, but you were fine up until the turning, which means we're looking for a left hand turn with another left at the end, right?"

For a beat, he stares at me, then it's as though his brain kicks into gear.

"Right," he agrees. "Yes. And it was the third turn on that long passage."

"So we go back to that passage," I say. It was only two turns back.

"We could lose our bearings," Dimitri protests, but his voice is uncertain.

"No, we won't," I say. "You know that passage, right? Where did we come through? What did it look like?"

I'm hoping Doug taught him landmarks and surroundings the same way Minho taught me.

"Uhhh…"He grips his hair, eyes squeezed shut, and then words start to flood out. "Wait – Ivy. It hung in this strange cross pattern, and there was the forked crack right underneath with the weed patch growing on the right. But we came from the other side, so it would be – Oh! Wait. Shuck, I'm sorry – we came through further down than before so I counted wrong. It's okay; I know where we're going."

And as soon as he'd fallen into panic, he pulls himself out of it.

I'm left reeling a little bit, though the lingering fear is still lodged between my ribs like a knife. I feel it like a sharp pang with each breath.

His hands squeeze my shoulders, and I can't even care that they're a little clammy. His face has flushed with high colour in his relief.

My relief won't come yet.

"Thanks, Eva," he says. "Come on."

So we pick up again, and double back.

…

We left a sunny field, but when we sprint back down the tunnel, the Glade beyond is approaching sundown. The grass is bathed in soft gold, the shadows long, slender and tinted in purples while the sky is a vast gradient as night is drawn slowly over us. There's a hum of activity in the village and the work stations are quiet.

Dimitri and I burst into the open grass.

"They're back! They're back; get Alby, get Newt!"

The shout goes up from the Lookout Tree. I look over that way, still breathing hard enough that I'm slightly light headed, and see three Gladers take off running for Homestead.

I can just about recognise Zart's pale blonde hair, shining in the late afternoon light, as he waves exaggeratedly from the top.

I wave back, somewhat wearily.

Behind us, the Maze groans. The rush of artificial wind blasts through the Doors, and then they begin to grind closed.

"Thanks," Dimitri says, quietly.

I turn to him. "It's okay," I say. "You couldn't go on your own, and this way, the Grievers don't get your maps."

I shrug out of the harness and hand it over.

After what he didn't really say in the Maze, somehow I figure this is something I shouldn't really know about, either. They're certainly not something I should see.

Dimitri takes it, but smiles wryly and says, "True, but I didn't mean that."

Oh.

"Hey," I say to him. "You're still new at this. It takes time to learn; that's what Minho told me. We got lost once, because you misjudged an exit by one path. It could have been a lot worse. But you should tell Doug. He can't help you get better if he doesn't know."

I'm glad I sound fairly steady, because I'm still acutely aware that it really could have been far worse. That sensation of a near miss lingers just under my skin, a prickly kind of foreboding.

Dimitri nods, looking slightly frazzled. "Thanks anyway; for calming me down."

"What are friends for?" I say, rhetorically.

He huffs an exhausted laugh, but before he can reply, there's another shout.

"Are you both alright?"

Alby is striding quickly towards us. I can't help my eyes sliding straight past him to Newt, who's keeping up pretty well despite his limp. I'm a little surprised none of the others flooded out to meet us, but I'm a little too relieved to question it.

"Fine," Dimitri says. "How's Doug?"

Alby glances at me. I swear I see the faintest of smiles on his face, and he claps Dimitri's shoulder, steering him straight back to Homestead. "Fine, Kid. Come on; we'll go see him."

They move away.

I look back at Newt. I'm not sure which one of us moves first, but then he's hugging me tightly, one hand tangled into my hair, and my arms are fixed around his back. He's still warm; solid and grounding. I think I can feel his heart beating rapidly and he breathes out against my hair.

The adrenaline rushes out of me.

The 'what if?' that prickled under my skin burns out. The sense of relief finally sinks in, a cool, pleasant weightlessness that fills my chest.

I'm bone tired; my legs feel shaky thanks to the running and my heart feels shaky with the after-effects of fear pulsing through my veins.

"Eva, wh-bloody– what happened?"

I actually laugh as I pull back.

"I'm fine," I insist. "Just…tired, really. Dimitri took a wrong turn-but its fine!" I hasten to add, when I see his expression hollow. "We're fine."

"Why couldn't the bloody Shanks have picked it up while they were there?" Newt asks. His voice is a little exasperated, and I know it stems from what must have been a tense afternoon while we went back for the harness. I think it's a rhetorical question, too, but I still shrug.

"They weren't thinking straight," I say, even though I wondered at this, as well. "Probably didn't notice. Doug was in pain, Dimitri probably panicked a bit and the strap broke- which reminds me-"

I fish out the bent buckle from my pocket, turning it over in my fingers.

"I need to fix this."

Newt deftly plucks it from my hands, the shadows finally leaving his eyes as a faint smile crosses his mouth.

"Get some rest," he says, turning me towards Homestead. "That can wait."

And yeah, it can.

There's a shower calling me, a clean change of clothes, some of Frypan's cooking, Gally's Brew and an evening by the fire. As far as I'm concerned, until tomorrow, everything can just shucking wait.

INFO

Sorry guys, this is going to be a long end note...

1. It honestly is a wonder this hasn't happened more. I figure its actually fairly common for the Runners to come back with scratches and bruises; Eva just isn't always around for it. Less often they get more seriously injured, but it must happen. So that's that.

2. It was time for a return to the Maze. I wanted to explore how different factors can change your perception so easily, and how Eva's changed herself over the past couple of months. This chapter is more for character than plot, though there are still little bits in here that are relevant later. There's a few thoughts here, so bear with me. Dimitri is still relatively new to Running himself, so he's still uncertain at times, and given he's only ever run with Doug, having Eva along would put more pressure on him, which means he's more liable to panic with less prompting. Eva has only ever run with Minho, and much as she wants to have faith in Dimitri - and does, really - she's still carrying her own fears that he'll forget the way or freak out. As for Newt - who Alby gave the call to - he's handling both of those things and his own fears, in that decision-making role. Obviously he's worried for the both of them; relatively inexperienced and out there alone, and that's what I was struggling a bit to put across. Eva isn't a Runner, so she has to rely on her partner for navigating. Newt simply, and justifiably, trusts Minho far more than Dimitri to do that job, which is why he has his reservations.

3. Leading us to this. Why go back out at all? Remember that this was Newt's call. As far as anyone is concerned right now (and there's a hint of it in the conversation between Dimitri and Eva) the Runners are still mapping the Maze. They're still gathering valuable information each time they go out, and Doug draws that down. To Newt - who wants out more than anyone - that's a lot to potentially let the Grievers destroy and they may even forget where they left the pack. In the end, he had to weigh up his personal worries about Eva and Dimitri against the unbiased choice he would make as a leader. He has enough trust in the both of them that he decided it was still safe enough to let them go but Eva is very aware of that choice he had to make and that it wasn't too easy.

Its quite a complex thing I was trying to indicate, because this happens more in Newt's mind than Eva's and you only see her perception of it, so I'm sorry if it was a bit confusing. Hopefully this explanation helps a bit if you read it.

4. Eva does compare this trip out to her first ones with Minho a little bit. In actuality, she had already been a Glader for a couple of months before going in the Maze, and it wasn't so soon after her arrival. Just bear in mind that the narration is Eva's, so in this instance, her perception of the passed time is a little skewed. It feels longer to her, and it feels like a lot has changed, so that's what comes across.

INPUT PLEASE?

1. A sequel? This currently ends not long after where the first movie leaves us. There's a whole 'nother world I really want to explore that will delve deeper into some of the themes that are just undertones in this story – what makes a person who they are, and so on – and I have a general idea where I'd take the story. The problem is that I haven't completely read Scorch Trials, and even if I had, this story is mainly based on the movie continuity, so ideally I should wait for the second film to get a timeline of events before working on a sequel.

So – yay or nay to continuing it, and if yay, wait until I can match it up to the second movie, just match it to the second book as best I can, or would you be happy/prefer me to take it in a bit of an AU direction? Let me know your thoughts :)

2. AU oneshots of the Eden Switch world. By this, I mean I'm entertaining the idea of my versions of the characters, including Eva, but in other lives, just for fun. A roadtrip during college, a university campus/dorm life and so on (ideas welcome; this fandom seems to love AUs). They'd likely be one shots, just for fun, and unrelated to this story's timeline. Someone did express interest, so I'd love to get an idea of it in general. Again, let me know!

Finally, GUEST REVIEWS

Nutmeg: Thank you for another lovely review! Thomas is next to arrive, yes, but there's still a couple of things to happen before that. I do think you're right about that unspoken line, though I personally think that some like Dan or Zart would take her leg out if she left it open. Newt particularly won't because he knows what it's like to have that weakness. The others lack that perspective. It doesn't exactly hurt; it just makes the ligament spasm enough that the joint folds momentarily. That in mind, they might take it out, but as you say, they wouldn't fight dirty to win (Just my thought; as always, you can interpret as you wish :)). And yes, Chuck wouldn't steal her clothes; he still quite likes her and young as he is, I think he understands that it would be taken quite differently if he included Eva in that particular prank.

As for the drawing – first, well done for catching that reference! I wasn't sure how many people would! And in my mind Newt is pretty good at drawing from memory. Most of the sketches of Homestead probably came from actually looking at it, but remember that he's only drawn the boys who died. He'd have had to sketch them from memory after the fact, or how would he have known who to draw? All I can say is at this point in the story, he's never drawn Eva.

Rebecca: Unfortunately no, the entire story is told through Eva's eyes. I like exploring the narrative styles of limited perspective, and I feel it's more true to life. You only ever see and experience events through one character, much as you, in life, only ever experience things for yourself, not also through your friends. There's hints as to what Newt thinks and feels, through what Eva picks up and works out, but as a reader, you only ever know what she does. That all said, I am working on a companion series of single chapter bonus scenes that are told from other perspectives, but that will be posted separately when it's ready.

As for upload speed, I post a chapter approximately twice a week, as evenly apart as I can. Its been Tuesday and Saturday for the last couple of weeks, but I can't always promise that as other things can interfere. But either way, the whole story is already written, so there's no worry of it just randomly being abandoned unless I snuff it.

Kat: You're welcome! You took the time to leave a lovely review, so of course I want to respond and thank you for it. I really appreciate you leaving another one, too!

As for your fic, as I said, it very much depends on the story you want to tell. Take it from someone who's written a fic that delves into the life of the Glade before Thomas; it's a convoluted, intricate world with a whole lot going on. Exploring that aspect isn't a quick read. But good luck, however you decide to go about it! (Also, reading published books and seeing movies in the genre you want to write in helps a lot; you can get inspiration from seeing how someone else introduces characters and settings, and develops the dynamics).

And thank you so much for your comments on the latest chapter! It's great to know you liked the writing and you're still enjoying the slow shift in dynamics. As you said, neither of them were really prepared for this, so for them, it's a bit confusing, but I'm glad you can sympathise with her as she processes her own emotions. And while its not always true, some of the best, most stable and enduring relationships come from friendship. Bringing in a physical or sexual aspect shouldn't diminish the friendship at the foundation.

As for writing a book…haha, funny you should ask. I've written original stories for years, but my Muse always takes a hike halfway through and I just never manage to finish them. But currently I am developing two stories, both very different, and I do aim to publish my own novels in the future, certainly. My whole family is very supportive on that front (my aunt is very keen to know what happens next in one of the stories) so I'm really hoping I can tie my Muse down and really finish them off. Thank you – it honestly means a lot that you enjoy my writing style (though I experiment with different ones) and that you think I could write my own novels. Fingers crossed!

Chapter 18 - Teaser

Oh no.

"You can stop with that look, Eva," Frypan says, without even looking at me. "It's going to be fine."

-To be posted at the weekend-