Wednesday 13th November

RealSierra: I wish the world really knew how big your heart was. But I'm so happy you have a place in mine. I love you Eddie.

"Fuck, I can't believe it's been eight years..."

Kneeling on the grass, Alexa clasped her hands together in her lap as she glanced around. It was a clear day, and the cemetery was as quiet as cemeteries usually were, she guessed.

She returned her gaze back to the simple headstone that laid before her. Black granite, with solid gold text embossed into it.

Eduardo Gory Guerrero.

October 9th 1967 - November 13th 2005.

Your memories will never be forgotten.

"I don't even know what I'm doing here..."

It had been a long time since she'd visited him there, probably way too long, now that she thought about it. But with all the travelling, and with his grave being all the way in Arizona, it was just hard. Now that she was living in Vegas, it was a much easier trip to make. It was still a four hour drive, but that was nothing, not really.

That morning she'd woken up and just felt the sudden need to be there.

To talk to him.

"My head's a mess. I wish...'' She sucked in a breath, already feeling her eyes start to well up. "I wish you were here. I wish Dad was here..." A bitter laugh spilled from her lips. "Though, I suppose I can't call him that anymore, huh?"

She knows that he can't hear her. Knows it's being said to thin air. But she still has to get it out.

"My head's a fucking mess, Eddie."

Ever since that day her mom showed up on her doorstep, it felt like her entire world had been ripped apart. Everything she knew was a lie and she felt like she didn't even know who she was anymore.

"Wait.. what?"

Alexa's eyes bore into the woman in front of her, part of her hoenstly thinking this was some kind of weird dream and hoping she was going to wake up at any second.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Vito isn't your father. I-"

"Shut up!" The younger woman sprung up from the chair suddenly, her face already flushing red. "Just shut the fuck up."

"Alexan-"

"No! I don't know what you're trying to pull, or what you hope to gain from this, but I want you to leave.. How dare you come in here, after all this time and then..." She paused, taking a breath to calm herself before nodding towards the door. "You need to leave."

"I know this is hard to hear, and I'm sorry, I really am. But Vickie was right, you deserve to know the truth."

"I... I don't... Who was it?"

"Who was what?"

"The affair!" Alexa snapped impatiently, before her mind caught up to what else she had said. "And what does Vickie have to do with this?"

"Alexa-"

"Just fucking tell me!"

The was a long silence. Once that seemed to last forever. Just as Alexa finally reached breaking point and was about to drag the woman out of her house, she uttered a single name that made her stop dead in her tracks.

"Eddie."

"You... you're telling me that you and... he's my..."

"Yes."

Every unanswered question she'd had about her childhood, all suddenly made sense.

Her mother hated her because she didn't she her as a daughter, all she saw was her mistake staring right back at her. It explained why the Guerrero's took her in, cared for her, no questions asked. It explained the looks she sometimes caught Vickie giving her when she thought she wasn't looking. It explained why she'd always felt such a strong bond with Shaul, why Eddie had been so protective of her when she joined the 'E..

Mind racing, Alexa took a few steps back, silently dropping into the seat she'd just vacated. "I..."

"I'm sorry."

"I wish you'd told me." She said softly, running her fingers over his name. "I just... I really fucking wish you'd told me."

There were still so many questions she had no answers for, things that she wanted, no, needed to know. She'd talk to Vickie, and Mando eventually.

"I know you'd probably be real mad at me for giving everyone the silent treatment for so long... but, you know, I needed some time."

The entire Guerrero family had always treated her like one of their own, always. Even when her dad was still alive. But all the emptiness she'd felt over the years, all the times she felt like she didn't really belong anywhere...

"Everything could have been so different."

But he was gone, and it was something she'd just have to learn to live with.

She slowly got to her feet, grumbling at the ache in her back as she bent to brush away stray blades of grass from her knees. Righting herself, she looked back down at the headstone for a few moments before turning and starting to walk away.

"I love you, Eddie."

A/N: soooooo sorry this has taken so long! I promise to try to get back into it ;-;