Chapter 2 - How to continue with Life when everyone hates you

It was an average day - well as average as they had been since we had been discovered. Myra and I had slept in the backyard because we no longer felt safe out in the forest and although beds are surprisingly comfortable, I just can't sleep while feeling trapped in a room. We went inside the house for breakfast and got ready for school in a rather resigned manner, like we had done for the past week. I'm sure you can agree that willingly placing yourself in firing range of snide looks and whispers at the best and physical attacks at the worst for six hours was not really something we looked forward to. Dacia had come by briefly to ask us to continue going to school. Apparently Segolia was hoping for the approach that if we appear normal and open rather than secretive, it will allow us to be accepted. Personally, I had doubts. Humans love tormenting those who seem different, even among their own kind. Anyway, the plan was to go to school, bite our tongues and keep our heads down.

We set off running through the woods to school. This was probably the highlight of my day. It was this brief time each day when I could close my eyes and feel like I was running carefree amongst the trees with my pack, our feet barely skimming the ground, passing silently like the wolves we were. I could forget about school and humans and feel free. Sometimes I loved to kick off against a trunk, just to feel like I was flying or to bound away to chase a rabbit for a few paces.

Then, like always, we reached school and I was dragged back into my real life. We slowed to a jog as we entered the school grounds and immediately the eyes flickered up and the cold glares flitted across every face in the yard. Except for two. Tom and Shannon walked over to greet us. Myra waved goodbye and set off for the primary school.

"So I was thinking," said Shannon, "it's been ages since we all got together and had some fun."

"Yeah, well, I think we all have been distracted by… other things, Shan," I said pointedly.

"Which is exactly why we need to do something to cheer us up!" she said excitedly.

"How about pizza and movies?" said Tom. "I just saw a trailer for this mockumentary on vampires called What We Do in the Shadows. I looks pretty cool… and there's werewolves in it!"

He added the last part with a grin, like we couldn't possibly turn down the chance to see another bad portrayal of our kind, but it did make me smile. Jana even laughed.

"Okay," she said. "Where are we doing this?"

Everyone hesitated for a second. We had been forbidden by Shannon and Tom's parents to go to their houses. Jana quickly remembered this and added, "Let's go to mine. Ceri and Gerwyn might like it too."

The prospect of pizza did cheer me up and encourage me to make it through the day. I sat through Maths and didn't look up from my page all lesson. I kept headphones in so people wouldn't make snide comments in the hopes that I could hear. Unfortunately, I couldn't actually play music on my headphones because it kills my ears. The volume settings are obviously made for human hearing. Next was Biology. The teacher was talking about natural selection and when explaining mutations, I could hear stupid whispers and caught furtive glances that for some reason they thought I wouldn't notice. It was bad enough being called half-human or a diseased human, but being a called a mutation of humans was unacceptable. I didn't notice my clenched fists or the thin lines appearing like a spider web across my hands until Tom nudged me.

Recess was tedious, but at least we could talk. Shannon was talking about the high-functioning university she wanted to enter, while Tom and I threw a tennis ball back and forth, trying to make each other fumble.

Then it was double PE. I usually manage to duck into the toilets to get changed, but because Tom and I were throwing the ball, we didn't hear the bell and arrived late, so there was no way I could go to the toilet. Oh, sorry, I forgot to mention, I don't like getting changed in the change rooms because I have scars. Claw marks and bite marks mostly, from my childhood when I was with my old pack… It's not really important how I got them. I also have tattoos. Not because I'm some delinquent. They are also from my childhood. I guess I should describe them… On my upper left arm, just below the shoulder, there is a bit of a stylised wolf head and below that a wide ring around my arm with 'Rowan' written in it in my native language and under that is just a thin line circling my arm. There is also another symbol on my chest, over my heart. Sadly, tattoo removal is expensive and I can't afford it with all the money I don't own.

So, I had to change in the change rooms with everyone else. Tom knew I was uneasy, probably from the dark lines once again dancing across the back of my hands. He tried to sort of block me, but it is incredibly hard to stay concealed in an open room. I ripped off my shirt quickly and tried to pull over my sport top before anyone noticed. Of course, being a known wolfblood and a rare visitor to the change rooms tends to draw attention. I got changed as quickly as possible and hurried out of the change rooms.

I was surprised no one mentioned it at all during PE. We were doing basketball that day. You would think PE was my favourite subject because it at least gives me the chance to run around, but Jana and I were sent to the bench almost twice as often as everyone else.

Lunchtime was not so good. It was a Thursday. I remember because we had band practise on Thursday lunchtimes. It was the first Thursday since that assembly. I was actually looking forward to it. Music is something you can just get lost in for a while, which was exactly what I needed. I made it to the music room, but the rest of the band were already playing and stopped abruptly when I came in. They all stared at me. That stare that had become so familiar to me over the last week. I stood still and felt a stabbing in my gut as I realised what it meant. I guess they saw that I had worked it out.

"Sorry, mate. It's not going to work," said Harry. "People won't want us to play if you're with us. And we don't appreciate being lied to."

His words seemed apologetic but his tone was hard. There wasn't any room for negotiation, but when I looked at their cold faces, all I could see was my friends that I laughed with and sang with and went to the beach with only a few weeks ago. I just couldn't let it go without trying.

"Look, I'm sorry, but I had no choice but to lie. Nothing has really changed, though," my voice had become pleading. "I thought we were doing okay. I thought we were… friends."

I felt hurt, which was annoying because my emotions tend to paint black veins onto my hands and arms which didn't really help my case. Harry and others just turned away and began to pick up their instruments again. It was like they had said all they wanted and couldn't even be bothered looking me in the eye when they reject me!

I balled my fists. "I guess not then! I wouldn't ever have such prejudiced friends!"

I stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind me but immediately stop and lean against the wall, taking a few deep breaths. I felt betrayed and angry and that was dangerous because I definitely couldn't afford to lose it at school.

Art was as frustrating as always. We were working on some self-portraits in which we had to include an animal that represented our personalities. I know what you're thinking. Surely, Rowan, it can't be too much of a stretch to imagine yourself as animal? I actually said something along those lines when the teacher first began this project. The response was something like "That is not really using your creativity and imagination, is it? Besides, no one here likes to be reminded of your unnaturalness". So, that's why I was not painting a wolf which I think would represent me perfectly. Instead I was painting a bird. There is no deep insight for this, it was just because I thought transforming into a creature with wings and flying away would be much more useful than a wolf at the moment. Ironically, wolves were a popular choice in the examples from last year we were shown, but it seemed this year everyone was too uncomfortable with wolves currently or maybe they just didn't want to offend me. I don't believe it was the latter.

Then we went to homeroom. It was meant to be a study session after we listened to Mr Jefferies read out some notices. Usually everyone vaguely did work while chatting. I was zoning out and daydreaming about running through the woods as far from school as possible and eating pizza later tonight with only my pack and my friends who don't flinch when they see me while Mr Jefferies was talking about some upcoming football competition. I tuned back in when I noticed someone asking a question, "Excuse me sir, isn't it a school rule that tattoos are banned?"

It was Jimmy, of course. He had developed a taste for picking on me. He had even liked me when he thought I was human. He was one of the few who had worked out that I couldn't do anything against him. Whether that made him clever or plain stupid, I don't know, but he was one of those who didn't whisper, instead making sure I knew exactly what he was saying. Maybe he was secretly hoping that I would wolf out and consequently be expelled and arrested.

I felt a familiar tingling and noticed the thin black veins etched across my hands. I really should learn to control this better, I thought vaguely underneath my unease. I really should have asked Rhydian for tips. He had been so much better at it than Jana or I.

"Yes, that's correct James, so if you are planning to get one over the weekend, you will have to change your plan," said Mr Jefferies.

"Not for me, sir. I just thought it was only right to mention that someone in this class has a few."

I can feel the eyes of most of the boys in the class on me. I stare at the desk in front of me. Normally, I wouldn't care because he is not actually shoving me around, but I dislike being reminded of certain parts of my life connected to those tattoos.

"Well James, it is not your place to dob on someone…"

"It's Rowan, sir."

Now everyone's head snapped in my direction. Jana seemed tense and I realised it's because of my clenched fists and the veins darkening and spreading over my hands. I very purposefully relaxed my hands and the rest of me and look up at Mr Jefferies.

"Is that true, Rowan?"

"Yes, sir," I say as evenly as possible.

"You do know of our school's policy?"

"Yes, sir."

"Well…?"

"I'm sorry. I already have them and I cannot remove them. What do you expect me to do?"

"I would like to know why you would get tattoos when you know it against school rules!"

I paused. "I got them before I came to this school."

"Well I hardly think you would have been allowed to have them at your previous school."

I froze up. It was clear that he didn't believe me. I had no idea what to say. He would hardly believe me if I told him that this was my first school ever. Jana discreetly pulled my fists under the desk to hide the distinct wolfblood veins on my hands. My stupid instincts kicked in and I started glancing around the room for an escape route.

"If you do not answer we will need to contact your parents and have a meeting Rowan."

Mr Jefferies tried to sound firm but his voice quavered slightly. Clearly he did not want to tell two wolfblood parents that their son was in trouble. I was more concerned because I don't really have parents so I needed to come up with something on the spot.

"They gave them to me, sir, for a birthday gift last year."

Mr Jefferies frowned slightly and was about to say something else. My hands were shaking slightly and I could feel a familiar rush of tingling down my arms, which was not a good sign. Just then the final bell of the day rang throughout the school.

"Okay off you go," said Mr Jefferies to the whole class.

I was so relieved I practically ran out of the classroom. Jana, Tom and Shannon all followed me and found me in an empty corridor, leaning against a door frame, eyes closed, trying to calm down. I looked up and saw concern written on their faces. It had taken me a long time to trust them and feel comfortable enough around them to share my past. No… It had actually been more to do with coming up with lies that didn't contradict each other had become increasingly difficult whenever they noticed something strange about me, like my tattoos. Plus, Ceri and Gerwyn were pretty smart and had been able to make a few guesses at my past. It was nice to trust my pack and know I had almost nothing to hide from them, but at times like these, I wish they didn't know. I had told them once, but I never wanted to discuss it again.

Jana looked like she was about to say something, but I cut her off with a cheery and obviously fake grin.

"Let's get out of here! Why are we sticking around school?"

"Rowan, are you sure you're…" began Jana.

"Yeah, let's go!" I said, bounding towards the lockers. "Remember pizza and movies tonight?"

The others still looked a bit uncertain but thankfully didn't say anything.

Even though it felt like everything was ruined, life was okay. It was horrible, unenjoyable and felt like I was living in a war constantly fearing being attacked. It was okay in the way that I still had a structure and my sister and a pack. I like to try and put things in perspective, because at least I didn't feel as completely helpless as when… Never mind.

We were standing outside school, waiting for Myra to come over from the primary school so we could finally leave this prison. I was pretty keen to get away from the icy stares and whispers and be free to run through the woods back home. I heard the sound of a car approaching and looked up in a vaguely interested way until I noticed it was a Segolia car coming around the bend.

"What is it?" asked Shannon immediately. I remember being impressed in the back of my mind. Tom and Shannon have learnt to read my changes in stance and expression when I sense something, just like a wolf pack. Or maybe I am just being too obvious because seeing the Segolia car had me worried. We weren't expecting them and they could be bringing any sort of news from 'Rhydian sends his regards' to 'your sister has been attacked by werewolf-haters'. Thankfully the second possibility was unlikely because I could see Myra running towards us. Jana seemed pretty tense too as we watched, along with all the students and teachers who were still at school.

Dr Whitewood stepped out of the car and turned to look directly at me. "Rowan, we need you to come with us."