Hokage-sama stared at me with a somewhat odd expression.
"So that's your mission report."
"Yep."
"So, you killed all but one of them-"
"Dead." I nodded.
"And then you tortured the last one and cut off his arms."
"Arms and legs."
My aging Commander in Chief mouthed at his pipe thoughtfully. It took him a few seconds to speak, so I spent the intervening time playing 'spot the ANBU' with his security detail.
"Hiroki, you remember you're not in ANBU anymore, right?"
I blinked back, nonplussed.
"I don't see how that's relevant, but yes."
Hiruzen rubbed at his forehead for a moment, mouth opening slightly as if to speak before closing again. This happened a few more times, before he muttered something under his breath too quiet for me to make out completely.
"...spray bottle... more... Uchiha... a girlfriend..."
Shaking his head he took a long puff on his pipe before exhaling.
"Hiroki, why don't you take a few days of leave?"
"As you command Hokage-sama!"
. . .
I suppose Hokage-sama might have had a point, because I get a little bit of a reputation after that for some reason. Some people are more interested in working with me because of the fierce protectiveness, while others are unnerved by the 'excessive force', whatever that is.
I mean, I guess I can see where they're coming from? But it's still kind of weird, because everyone knows the only people who are people are the people of Konoha. Fortunately I know there is at least one person I can always rely on to have precisely zero shits to give.
Anko is still cool, as always, with her simply amazing eggplant colored hair, swag tan trenchcoat and… other attributes.
"Anko-chan!"
She turns into the hug but my head is a little bit too high for maximum squishitude effect.
"Who the- Hiroki? Holy shi-!"
I get her to stop talking in the most immediate way I can, by shoving my tongue down her throat.
"Mmm! Nn… mmm…."
I pull away after a second, and she eases the kunai away from my neck reciprocatively as I lean in towards her ear.
"All the Uchiha are dead save Sasuke, you know?"
She blinks at me for a long second before eventually nodding in sudden comprehension.
"Yeah… right. Right! Well, jeez kid, I mean, it's good to see you again, but I don't know if we're quite to that stage of a relationship yet."
I give her a sly smile and let my features ripple with the disguise I used in ANBU. She raises an eyebrow appreciatively.
"Really? Ever since…"
"Yep!" Pop the p.
"Huh. Go figure. Out now though?"
"Mhm. It was fun… ish. Okay, it sucked pretty hard some of the time, but I'm pretty darn strong now. Full Jounin and everything. Jealous?"
I give her an eyebrow waggle which she returns with a snort of laughter, smile still that lovely shade of vicious I've grown so fond of, glittering in the soft light.
"Not hardly. Better you than me. You better watch out, they'll try and give you a Genin team to train if you aren't careful."
We share a shudder at the idea before she hauls me closer to the bar.
"So what can you tell me about what you've been doing lately?"
I flag down the bartender and order my favorite drink before launching into a recounting of an incident, heavily edited, of a particularly eventful trip to Swamp Country.
. . .
The moon is huge and full and reflects itself endlessly in my eyes as I perch on the corner of my apartment building's roof, bare toes clinging to the wooden tiles as I balance on the balls of my feet in a crouch. My back is hunched and my arms slack as I crane my neck back to bask under the glowing surface of the dead god's tomb in a little bubble of undetectability.
I have always loved the moon and as an Uchiha it means a little more now, it's almost family you might say, and the softness of the light; so much gentler than the burning sun, so much easier on hypersensitive eyes. I wish the world had a dozen moons so we might be nocturnal instead, avoiding entirely the cutting intensity of daylight which slices the world so cruelly into shades of black and white. In the moonlight even shadows have a certain warmth as the world glows in starshine.
Even this is not a moment of true inactivity though; everything serves a purpose. I have been sleeping less of late, preferring instead to meditate, slowly manipulating the flow of energy in my chakra coils to rejuvenate and revitalize, a massage radiating from the inside out as the force to bend reality ebbs and grows under my ever more instinctive grip and the nature flexes and writhes like an endless river as it shifts from Yin, to Yang, to, for a brief moment, Fire. I am not so terribly far from the point where controlling my chakra however I like might become more want than will, and that day cannot come soon enough for me.
There are fascinating avenues to explore once your control grows high enough for more complicated internal manipulations. With enough skill you might even be able to invent jutsu on the fly, though I don't know how highly I value that particular benchmark. It's much more interesting to watch the little effects one can produce just by forming the chakra differently inside your own coils, the twists and turns it can follow. I can do the Mystic Palm, properly, not just my little bastard version, with no hand-seals and no outward signs. Internal healing, slow though it might be. Well, we'll just have to see how it goes.
There is still so much to do all the time. Training with Fovea is a task in itself but I am hesitant to bring him along on missions, despite his growing strength. Maybe on some of the lighter, low-risk stuff, but... it would hurt too deeply if something happened to him, and he can do good inside the village for me, keeping a protective eye on Naruto and Sasuke and a much more surreptitious watch on Danzo on the rare occasion the man makes a semi-public appearance; generally just short walks between the Hokage's office and… wherever it is he goes.
I still try to experiment a little with Seals, but progress is slow enough to be virtually non-existent. Searching the library for the fifth time yields nothing new, however I do find a very interesting law while skimming through some historical records one day.
The party of the first part shall not abridge the prerogative of the party of the second part to maintain specializations, including but not limited to ensuring secrecy with regards to techniques and the safety and security of bloodline traits. The party of the second part is obliged to whatever means and methods they feel necessary to maintain this security save where doing so would immediately and egregiously endanger the safety of the village.
That sounds almost… flexible. I check the reference section for cases citing that law as precedent.
Case of Toriyama Family vs. The Kurama clan. Toriyama Satsuki seduced a member of the Kurama in an attempt to acquire their hereditary Genjutsu techniques; the Kurama clan killed the Kunoichi once they discovered she was pregnant. Cleared of all charges.
I set the scroll back down and tap my chin thoughtfully, eyes spinning beneath the shadows of my hood. You know what they say, a dead enemy is better than… something.
Hmm. I need to work on my wise old sayings.
Never leave an enemy alive? There. That works.
. . .
July 8, 11 AK
I have noticed an inconsistency.
It was such a surprise that I almost crashed while jumping over the street, the moment of shock so total and consuming that I could scarcely comprehend what I was seeing.
Hyuuga Hinata, with bandages around her forehead, walking next to Hanabi, and Hiashi, who were also similarly wrapped.
...How did I not notice this before?
I flit around the village searching for Neji, eventually finding him practicing throwing kunai with the rest of the students at the academy (he's really very good, such a cute little murder machine...).
...He has the seal as well.
What is this change?
It takes a little digging but my relief is palpable when I find a Hyuuga Chunin at the Missions Station willing to answer my questions.
It was my fault.
Well, technically my fault; it wasn't anything I had said or some deeper shift in the fabric of world events, butterfly wings or any of that rot; but it appears a rumor got around that someone had harvested the eyes of most of the Uchiha either during or immediately after the Massacre. Most are of the opinion that it was Itachi and that the only reason all of the Uchiha weren't empty-socketed was because he didn't have enough time before ANBU came.
Apparently this caused a bit of a stir among the Hyuuga. Hiashi had always been a little more liberal, a little more forward thinking, spurred perhaps by the very odd relationship he had had with his twin brother, still sadly deceased. The Main Branch of the Hyuuga was not so very small, more than two dozen people all told, and, of course, all possessing the Byakugan, unsealed and readily available to be stolen. The Hyuuga were already jealous of their Doujutsu, and the thought that someone could steal so many eyes so very easily sent them into rather an uproar.
Terminated, quite abruptly, when Hiashi announced the reformulation of the Caged Bird Seal, and a new policy within the clan. No more control elements, everyone gets sealed.
I let the stuttering Chunin's flak jacket slide through my fingers so his feet touch the floor again, and absently pat him on his pretty blue-black head before flickering out the window under new layers of genjutsu.
This… this changes things. (I have to stifle my giggling at the pun when a passing Tokubetsu Jounin starts shaking in fear and making a gesture to ward off evil spirits.)
If I can actually do things, if I can actually affect the world...
An insidious thought has been plaguing me recently.
What if I was still in canon?
It sounds preposterous on the surface, how could I be in canon if I exist at all? But that is not quite accurate.
If I were to die before the events of the main series, how would the world look different? Kakashi could simply lie and say that Squad 7 was his first team, forget the painful Squad 19 who perished one by one. Sasuke would simply never be told that I had survived the massacre, left in masochistic ignorance, likely affected hardly at all by the feather light interaction we have had over the years. Itachi wouldn't care, Obito wouldn't know any better, Hiruzen would sadly file away all record of Uchiha Hiroki aka ANBU Squirrel. No one the wiser to my life, just one more name for Kakashi to stare at on the memorial stone. No trace of my existence left on the world.
But now, now there is something, a change, a big one, a positive one, and I wonder… can I do more?
I stood upon the great stone head of the Shodaime and took careful aim, the early morning breeze ruffling my hood gently as my feet maintained a steady grip on the worn surface. The Sandaime had an unobstructed view of Danzo, the latter standing in front of the Hokage's desk prattling on about something or other, no doubt how we should be launching an invasion of Kusa while they weren't expecting it because we just signed a trade agreement or something equally moronic.
There is no emotion, there is peace. (This is very important, don't forget)
The longbow of my Susanoo stretched taught, and I let fly.
Kamigoroshi no yajirushi - The God-killing arrow.
The arrow was nearly five meters long and it speared directly through Danzo's heart, and more importantly the Seal thereupon, before it embedded itself into the floor with a soft shunk of splintering wood. The Sandaime began to rise from his chair, pipe dropping from his mouth and the ANBU in the corners springing to action, but I was already standing next to the traitor, tanto held in a reverse-grip, outstretched and pressed lightly against his neck as the other hand formed a ram seal.
"Ninja Art: Moment of Silence."
The barrier's smoky purple sphere encircled us and the ANBU halted in their tracks.
"Shimura Danzo, in accordance with the Treaty of Konoha signed by Senju Hashirama with the founding clans of Konoha, and under the authority vested in me as a Jounin of Konoha, I accuse you of Bloodline Theft."
My free hand plunged into the bandaged eye socket and emerged gently cradling what was obviously a Sharingan eye. (Thank you Hyuuga, thank you Tenjin, thank you Wasabi-)
"Let justice be done."
My blade slid through his neck with the ease of a razor slicing tissue paper and sent his head tumbling to the floor, steel flipping around to sever his arm full of cloned eyes in the same motion. The bubble dissipated and the arrow dissolved into nothingness allowing the corpse to slump to the ground. I flicked the blood of my blade and slid it back into its sheathe before falling to a knee in front of the grey faced Hokage.
"Hokage-sama. I apologize for the damage to your office."
He stared back at me, expression blank.
"What have you done?"
I blinked placidly back at him.
"Only what the law required. Shimura Danzo stole the eye of a member of the Uchiha clan. I believe if you look under the Seals on his arm you will find another item of interest, as the arm itself provides circumstantial evidence that Shimura-san was consorting with known enemies of Konoha and likely several other counts of treason, as well as another five counts of bloodline-theft. Then there's ROOT of course, which is still ticking along quite nicely in direct opposition to your decree."
I meet the Hokage's gaze with steady eyes before slowly reaching into a pocket and removing a tube full of clear nutrient fluid for the eye.
"Any one of those incidents would put the Councilman entirely at my mercy."
I eyed the corpse lying on the floor with bland disdain as the lid of the tissue preservation vessel shut with a click, sealing away one of the world's most dangerous weapons.
"I was not feeling forgiving."
I removed my kunai pouch and sheathed blade and set them on the floor in front of me, settling into a seiza and placing my hands palm up on my knees.
"I submit myself to your judgement Hokage-sama."
. . .
A/N: The Arrow of Godkilling is not as fancy as it sounds, sadly. It interferes with chakra (no duh, it's a big ass chakra construct sticking through your body). In this case, enough to defuse the deadman sealing thing on Danzo.
Some may note that Hiroki is, in fact, wrong about the eyes in Danzo's arm. This is intentional. I write first then check the wiki to see what is actually so.
What Hiruzen actually said: "Need to ask Kakashi if I can borrow his spray bottle if that worked so well; I swear, one good thing about the massacre, no more dealing with pyscho Uchiha; kid needs to find himself a girlfriend and mellow the hell out, jeez."