Of course, the ritual; disclaimed.

My first ever non-AU fiction, timeline must have been somewhere after the war, I suppose.

Unprofessional Pretenders

by: you are my math

- Let's play drunk, and tell about what we really feel -

. . .

Contrary to popular belief, Uzumaki Karin doesn't drink, and Hozuki Suigetsu hates the smell of alcohol. But they'd obliged to even play drunk just to know what they think of each other.

All for the sake of telling? Sure as hell, they would.

/-o-/

Suigetsu is convinced enough to tell that his female teammate doesn't do drinking, if it weren't for the fact of the emptied bottle of alcohol, and a glass shot on the counter, he would be likely to think it that way. He throws the bartender a glance, as though silently asking of what had happened here.

The guy on the other side merely shrugs at the exchange of message.

Suigetsu didn't push the idea, he just scowls hardly having a hard time, he doesn't care for the most part of it, really. But somewhere deep, he is concerned enough to know.

He stares down at the woman sitting on the stool; scrutinising the very outfit she wears. Her face plants down on the surface of the counter, her breathing at ease. She seems to be dozing off. He sighs, he doesn't have a concrete idea as to what to do with her. His eyes travel down the arc of her dress, concisely catching her strap of bra sliding down her shoulder.

He frowns, bending down to slip a finger to hide it against her sleeved dress. It's very unlikely of her to be careless, she usually doesn't portray clumsiness.

"You're lucky I'm here." He mutters underneath. It's not like he's worried or something, in fact if she has been attempted—drunk or not—she will likely to teach the person a hard way, he's just being a gentleman he is, right now.

So it leaves him to think why she's drinking out of the blue. He shakes his head, unsure of what to do, he doesn't want to wake her up, but he won't risk the idea of carrying her back in the room. It's not like he can't do it, but he guesses, she won't like the idea of being touched—clearly, Sasuke is an exemption to that rule.

He rolls his eyes, at his sudden train of thoughts. He taps her shoulder, waiting for a response. But he didn't get any. He tries again, this time a little tougher. But she won't even budge, let alone murmur something like Sasuke's name or something along those lines she usually says in her sleep.

He sighs, getting impatient. "Hey, if you're going to sleep here, you shouldn't have asked for a room."

When he notices that she starts speaking incoherent words, he asks again. "The hell are you saying, woman?" He leans down to her trying to catch what she is saying. But he stops halfway, catching a whiff of alcohol from her easy breathing, he hates it. Absolutely.

She doesn't smell like how she usually smells; hell, she doesn't smell like the perfume he secretly likes. So he hates it.

"Brim me my pilloh..." She murmurs in between her sleep.

He glares at her, why is she even drinking in the first place? He can't get through on what she's thinking. "Get up. I don't want to get your pillow."

She didn't response on that. She let's it be that way. And neither did he repeat his words.

He just silently sits on the empty stool beside her, and watches her.

It's not like she will notice anyway, she is drunk.

.

.

The annoying music in the background doesn't offer him a help, so he's stuck there in his seat as though coercing him to listen to it's broken lyrics. It supposed to be metallic, not some kind of petty love song music. He thinks it's stupid.

He glances at the person beside him, wondering deeply as to why is she yet moving from her seat.

She has been there, face plants on the counter table, unmoved, for half an hour already.

And he's been there, waiting for her.

Well, always—he's always waiting for her. If that isn't yet metaphorical enough, he doesn't know what would that be.

Two emptied bottles of alcohol didn't even make him sober, and he's confident to say it at least.

For whatever reason she's drinking, he thinks maybe it's not bad to join her at least for this day, since there had been a lot of unworthy things that have been occupying his mind currently. And he likes to seize this opportunity to listen to his teammate's peaceful aura.

Or so, he likes to reason it that way.

Karin moves in a bit, trying to find adjustments. She indeed falls asleep, but she isn't drunk, hell, she is completely aware of her surroundings, and even before that time where she asks Suigetsu about her pillow, too. So when she wakes, shifts her eyes to his very figure besides her. She catches him already staring at her, so she quickly responses a rude call out.

"Hey you, dummy!"

Though she isn't drunk as what he seems as though he thinks of her to be, she acts as if she is—refusing the screeching sound of her heart against her ribcage on the process. She wonders why she suddenly holds breathless in his droopy, alluring stares.

He rattles down inside himself, unsure of what to say. He just caught in the act. Maybe if he'd act as though he's completely out of his sanity, maybe, just maybe, she will buy this one and think he's drunk.

No, scratch that, she's drunk. Well, she seems to be, and he's completely aware of it. So how would she know if he's not, or if he's were?

He decides not to hear her, in the end.

"Heeey!" Karin tries, she notices the two emptied bottle of alcohol in front of him. Maybe he's drunk? "Suigetsu! Did'cha hear me? I said, dummy! Why aren't'cha responding on that, you, crap for brains!"

He throws her a glance of exasperation. "Shut up! Though am drunk, you still look like a troll." Maybe he goes down below the belt at that one. He secretly wishes he could slap himself hard.

"What?!"

"Youuu heard me, ain't ya?"

She throws him a punch, and he isn't even aware of the warnings, but he didn't burst into water. It is as though trying to catch the full force of her momentum. "Why the hell, are youuu like thaaat?" Her voice falters in between, she seems like she wants to cry.

"For once be nice to me! For once, for pete's sake! I always expect that maybe you would treat me as a woman, you idiot!" Tears started to form at the brim of her eyes, and Suigetsu is left wondering as to what he just did.

"Youuu treat those women in the inn—" she points out to the door through the hall of the inn they are supposed to be staying at this point of time, "like you're a real mannered idiot, and yeeeet, you won't comply to do the same for me! What is wrong with you!"

And because he thinks she's drunk, and a mess, she thinks, maybe, she could get away of what she really feels right now.

For he is drunk, too, maybe she could tell him how much she despises it if he's treating the others right, and won't do the same thing for her.

He won't remember it anyway, right? He had two emptied bottle of alcohol, anyway.

"You wooon't look at me," she throws him a handful of force, before speaking through her emotions. "Why wooon't you look at me!? Cha'really think I ain't gon notice it? Boooy, you're oblivious af!" She knocks her chest, shifting the subject to her own self. "I know ya better than ya think, water boy!"

She really has to stop now, she is being obvious, really. She has to gather herself all at once, but she won't slip away this chance to say what is ought to be said to him now.

She hates him with no utter consideration!

He keeps on looking away, and won't even give an ear to at least listen.

He's indifferent, and she hates it.

"What is wrong with me..." It's soft, almost even barely. But, somehow, he catches that. And, it isn't even a question, it's merely a statement to start off, but somewhere there he eagerly wants to response on that.

So even if it were against his action, his will somehow knows that he needs just that.

So when Karin raises her fist to throw again a handful of force against his arm, he bends down to catches her lips with his.

It's a one way to shut her up, and he isn't called smooth mofo for nothing. So he seized this one. She tastes like alcohol.

They stay there like that longer than he could've think so, cause he's certain he wouldn't last long enough after what he's done. But it didn't happen—what he's thinking, it didn't happen. It's forceful, and smooth, he even has a hard time resisting the urge of slipping a tongue through. He won't make it that far.

He likes it romantic, and simple, contrary to what they say about him.

When he let go, the first that comes out of his mouth is, "for pete's sake, too, I'm fed up of your annoying voice, hag."

Different expressions run through her flustered look—annoyed, embarrassed, breathless, name it, for he is sure as hell he has seen it.

She blushes even more.

Bingo!

He terribly knows she's just faking it, she should've known from the start than to start a drama, because he sure is going to mention it in front of her with no hesitations or so.

Which he sure does after their lip to lip—which he enjoys really—contact with one another.

"By the way, you should've said that one to me straight, you don't really need to act cuz you suck at it, Karin."

If it's even possible enough, she still blushes even more.

He hugs her though, "I know you like me more than Sasuke."

She curses underneath. "Don't flatter yourself."

Fin.

A/N: Tada! I'm updating it because why not? They're my favorite couple in Narutoverse, oh wait, one of my favorite couples, there is. Just hoping people will like them too, but life's not like that. So here's my story, I got this idea somewhere in my blog, really, when I was writing feels and all that angsty stuff. I stumbled upon this quote I made, haha, hence the quote for this chapter which was way written up there—somewhere below the title area.

Happy readings, and leave a review.

Suigetsu: for pete's sake!