Series 9: What We Deserve
Warnings: dark themes, violence, torture, m/f, f/f & m/f/f relationships, explicit scenes.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. If I did…damn you, Moffat!
Summary: The Doctor and Missy uncover an intriguing revelation about their captors, while Clara makes a potentially dangerous discovery.
The Doctor didn't mention Clara's drunken revelations the next morning when they spoke again. It was clear she was extremely hungover and grumpy, and he didn't dare chance it. They were only just back on speaking terms, after all.
But the thought of it warmed his hearts. It was the only thing that did, for the next few month. The footage from Clara's nanotech showed very little, since the physical training aspect of her initiation had been completed.
But what it did show concerned the Doctor greatly. During a work detail, where Clara had been assigned to assist in helping load trucks with Erudite equipment and seedlings for Amity, she'd been approached by the young man who'd administered her Aptitude Test, and warned about the dangers of the second stage of Dauntless training.
Then, apparently, would Clara be most at risk. They'd get inside her head and test how she responded to fear. They could discover her Divergence, or worse, her memories of things they'd have no conception of. Like Daleks. And time travel.
The Doctor was beginning to wonder if the Tardis was even in Erudite at all. He'd hacked into the Erudite computer systems and found no trace of the old girl, no files, no encoded messages about classified projects. And then there was the treatment they'd received since joining Erudite; they'd been assimilated into the faction without so much as a blink. Both of them had completed their required dissertations, simplified so they didn't arouse suspicion and fry any primitive pudding brains, and the IQ test had been pipsqueak. They were all but full members now.
Surely, they'd have been taken into custody and questioned by now? Especially if the Tardis was proving difficult to experiment on, as he knew she would be. He'd expected to be arrested and interrogated weeks ago.
He'd been waiting for it, knowing it would be a chance to get to the Tardis if they seemed to cooperate. But more and more, he suspected that the inhabitants of this city remained clueless about the true nature of their newest additions. They didn't know.
Which pointed to some very uncomfortable possibilities. If the faction leaders and their members hadn't taken the Tardis, who did? Was there another force at work in the city?
While it was not impossible for a global war to have annihilated all but a small portion of humanity, he found it suspicious. What if there was more to this city than met the eye?
But most especially, he was certain they needed to get into Dauntless. He had all but accepted Clara might be right, though not for the reasons they'd initially thought. If the humans of this city didn't have the Tardis, who did? And was it in Dauntless?
They needed to know, before Clara got herself killed.
Her footage wasn't exactly elucidating. Every morning was the same routine, shower, breakfast and some quick practice in the training rooms but without the brutal sparring sessions from before. Then into a square, low-ceilinged room containing just a chair and some computers.
It was what they couldn't see which was worrying him. Every day, Clara was injected with some kind of serum as the footage went black. Every time that happened, Missy reported that she felt overwhelming fear, pain, panic and even rage through the remnants of her bond to Clara.
And every night, the Doctor was awoken at least once by the Mistress waking up violently, thrashing as Clara fought off nightmares on the other side of the city. Since that night, she hadn't attempted to block her connection to Clara any longer. But they had no more clue than that.
Clara hadn't exactly been forthcoming over what she was experiencing either. She'd just said it was more training, simulations, to see how she responded to fear stimulus. Despite her Divergence, she remained undetected.
Nevertheless, the Doctor was not happy. Watching Clara go through such a brutal training regimen had been bad enough when she was just getting banged up. But every time she came to the mirror for their nightly reports, while the bruises had disappeared, the shadows under her eyes had not. Whatever they were doing to her, it was beating her from the inside out.
And he was powerless to help. He knew Missy was doing what she could, but Clara had become more closed off since that night. She refused any overt help, and whenever the Doctor brought up the issue of abandoning the search within the factions, she refused.
He sighed, running a hand through his hair wearily. Osgood looked up from her work, with a searching look. "You ok, John?" she asked, concernedly.
"I'm fine," he waved her away dismissively, concentrating on his work once more. It was so depressingly simple, and it couldn't do much to hold his attention as it wandered once more.
"You know, if there's something wrong…" Osgood tried again. "Something troubling you? I'm always here, if you need someone to listen."
The Doctor was struck again by the differences between this Osgood and the one he had known, and not just with the Chicago accent. She showed a greater confidence than the other had, not in awe of him as she had been. It was a good attitude to have, he reflected darkly.
"I'll make sure to remember," he told her, with some attempt at warmth as she smiled slightly.
"It's almost the end of your initiation," she continued. "Only two days left. You excited?"
"Positively vibrating with it," he replied, trying not to sound as gloomy as he felt. It had been two and a half months since they'd started on this debacle of a plan, and he was getting impatient.
"You know, the neuroscience and engineering teams have been asked to oversee the final initiation test for your friend in Dauntless," she told him, nonchalantly. The Doctor's ears pricked up at that.
"Really?" he asked, wondering if Missy knew.
Osgood nodded. "There have been significant improvements to the fear landscape simulations; the Dauntless and Erudite leaders want to see our progress for themselves. Want to come along?"
"Sure, why not?" the Doctor smiled, inwardly thrilled at the prospect of seeing Clara in the flesh for himself once more. But for the sake of appearances, he remained outwardly detached. Faction before blood and all that nonsense. "What exactly is a fear landscape anyway?"
"It's kind of like a mental obstacle course, really," Osgood explained. "Each obstacle represents a fear which the initiate must overcome to pass onto the next, usually either by beating that fear or calming their heart rate until it returns to normal. Most people have about ten to fifteen fears, average. The first few are usually general phobias, heights, spiders etc, but they get progressively worse until they get to the deep-seated, subconscious fears." Osgood shuddered.
The Doctor frowned. Was that why Clara had become so distant? So haunted? Did her latest training involve preparing to face her own worst fears?
"I guess the Dauntless believe mental courage is as important as physical courage?" he asked, offhandedly.
"Yeah, I guess so," Osgood replied with a strangely sad smile. "Anyway, I've got a meeting with my supervisor in ten minutes, so d'you mind keeping an eye on everything for a bit?"
"No problem," he shrugged his shoulders. "Enjoy your meeting," he added sarcastically. Osgood flashed him a mirthless grin, as she disappeared out of the door.
The Doctor waited until he was sure she was gone before speaking. "Missy, I surmise you heard all of that?" he asked quietly, as the nanotech in his ear picked up his voice patterns and transmitted them directly to Missy.
"Loud and clear, old man," her voice trilled in his ear. "Incidentally, I have just been informed of our little field trip myself. Should be interesting."
"No wonder Clara is having trouble," the Doctor sighed. He didn't doubt his Impossible Girl's strength, but being forced to face your greatest fears every day would wear anyone down. It was sadistic, even if he could see the twisted logic behind it.
Physical strength was nothing without the courage to act.
"While I can sense her fear and her nightmares," Missy continued in his ear. "I don't think they're breaking her. Her mind feels as strong as ever."
"Hmm," the Doctor hummed, musing away.
"On a similar topic, I have something I want to show you," she added. "Is your lab uninhabited?"
The Doctor sighed. Missy was still uncomfortable around the doppelganger of the woman she'd murdered. "Osgood is at a meeting with her supervisor. Come on down."
Five minutes later, Missy poked her head around the door. At a nod from the Doctor, she slipped inside, holding a tablet close to her chest.
"What is it?" he asked curiously, as she locked the door behind her.
"Well, since we're no longer being herded around like sheep, I've been doing some research in the labs at night," she began to explain. "I wanted to test my hypothesis that there's something fundamentally wrong with the humans in this city, and I've found something…disturbing."
He frowned as she handed him the tablet, and he scanned the screen. His brows rose as the data flashed up at him, and at the accompanying graphic of a DNA profile beside it. "How did you do this?" he asked, dreading the answer.
Missy scoffed. "Genetics might not be my primary field of speciality, but I've acquired a more competent grasp over the years," she replied scornfully.
"I meant, how did you collect DNA samples?" he asked, frowning. She rolled her eyes.
"The eyebrows are at it again," she pointed out sarcastically. "And how do you think, genius?!"
He sighed. "We really need to have a discussion about your continuing use of hypnotism-" he began sternly, as she sighed and waved her hands at him impatiently.
"That's exactly my point!" Missy insisted. "It was too easy, like taking candy from a particularly sleepy baby. Remember that night Clara got drunk, and I…persuaded her to sleep? She should have been out like a light straight away but she resisted. This lot didn't even bat an eyelid!"
"So, what you're saying-?" the Doctor began, realisation dawning as he glanced back down at the data.
"Is that they are damaged!" Missy finished for him. "Look at the DNA! It's been altered and re-altered, practically butchered for all the finesse shown. I would bet a regeneration on it that if we compared their DNA with Clara's, hers would be slightly different."
"It presumably explains the whole 'Divergent' thing," the Doctor mused. "Divergence is merely the product of normal human DNA, while everyone else is…damaged."
"What's interesting is that there are signs of pure human DNA having been spliced onto the existing DNA, presumably to repair future generations," Missy tapped the screen, showing a different profile. "But in almost everyone I've tested so far, it's still dormant."
"I've never seen such shoddy work," the Doctor muttered. "Not you!" he added, at Missy's glaring, offended look. "The splice! No wonder it didn't take!"
"Oh yes, I forgot your recent successes with genetic manipulation," Missy murmured silkily, as the Doctor glared up at her.
"Don't remind me," he growled, forcing away memories of Dalek Sec and the Cult of Skaro. "That was lifetimes ago. And a mistake, as it turned out."
"Oh, I don't know," Missy sighed, looking down at her nails. "Then again, all those Dalek soldiers absorbed your DNA. Definitely a mistake."
The Doctor was just opening his mouth to utter a retort when the door handle suddenly rattled alarmingly. "Doctor? Are you in there?" Osgood's voice called through the door. "John?"
Missy shut the tablet down as the Doctor flashed the sonic quickly at the door, rushing back to his workstation as Osgood nearly fell in the door as it opened under her weight. "Stupid door, always getting stuck…oh..!" Osgood gasped on seeing Missy, her cheeks turning a deep red.
The Doctor rolled his eyes at the thought of what conclusion she was coming to, in her still depressingly pudding brained head.
Now, that's a thought, Missy's voice murmured in his head, and he didn't need to see her to imagine the smirk on her lips as she flounced past Osgood. Why didn't we think of that..?
Oh shut up! He mentally growled in return, as her laughter echoed in his head.
The next day dawned bright and clear in Dauntless, making the white walls of the Pit shine as Clara hurried down the side. It was early, and except for those on patrol duty, most Dauntless were still asleep, or nursing hangovers.
Her new hairstyles bounced against her shoulders as she jogged down the uneven steps, her footing sure and confident.
But she was tired. Mentally drained and feeling every moment of it, Clara had been slept more than a few hours since the second phase of training had started. Forcefully, she thrust it aside as she focussed on her mission.
This was her chance to sneak into the computer room to see if she could hack in and find anything about the Tardis on the Dauntless mainframe. She was fully aware of the Doctor and Missy's failure in Erudite to find anything, but she'd reasoned that maybe they would be keeping it in the more secure Dauntless servers instead.
But like the Doctor, Clara hadn't forgotten the seeming conundrum of her continued freedom. If the Council knew they weren't who they claimed they were, why hadn't they captured them for interrogation about the Tardis' secrets yet?
She could only conclude that they didn't know, but if so, where had the Tardis gone? Clara couldn't explain why, but she was still sure that the old cow was somewhere in Dauntless. Her every instinct was screaming it, and she wondered why the Doctor didn't feel the same. Was the Tardis reaching out to her, somehow, but not to her pilot?
With a mental shake, Clara refocused on her mission as she slipped into the shadows of the Dauntless lower levels, hurrying along the corridors quickly.
As she'd hoped, there was no one guarding the computer room, as she pulled open the heavy doors, wincing as the hinges squealed. They clearly needed a good oiling.
She slipped inside.
The computer room consisted of rows upon rows of computer servers, and then at its epicentre, several computer terminals. Selecting one, she sat down and quickly got to work.
She was on high alert for any sound, any sign of detection, as she quickly got into the mainframe. While their security was good, it wasn't as good as her Great Intelligence-augmented skills.
As Clara worked, she almost absentmindedly reflected on the reason she acquired those skills in the first place. The past few weeks had been some of the toughest of her life, and she couldn't help thinking about her life. For the first time, she remembered her family back on Earth without pain or shame. She hadn't been wrong to leave them, despite the worry she knew they must be feeling. All that could be erased, anyway, when they made it back.
Clara refused to consider an 'if' to her last thought. They would make it back, just whether it would include Gallifrey in tow or not, she couldn't know.
She reflected that she would never have known any of what she knew now, if not for the Doctor. Perhaps, she might have been lost in the Wi-Fi forever, perhaps she might never have clicked on it. Clara didn't have the power to sense what might have been, and she wasn't sure if she ever wanted to. But despite all the heartache, pain and turmoil her life had descended into, one thing her life with the Doctor had given her made her nothing but grateful. Her knowledge of her own bravery.
It had made the past few weeks bearable, helped her through the fights and the dark nights, had made the nightmarish apparitions of her fear landscape beatable rather than insurmountable as they might have been. She knew she was brave, and that meant she could find a way through. She always would.
She was the Impossible Girl.
Clara's lips quirked sardonically, as she recalled the fiery red tattoo inked on her right shoulder, exposed to the air by her vest top. She hadn't been sure about the whole tattoo thing before, but she loved it now. It was very fitting, after all.
Even if it did bloody hurt.
A bit like life, really…
Just then, something onscreen caught her eye. She frowned, her fingers flying across the keyboard.
Her frown only deepened at what she found. The Dauntless servers were being monitored, every communication, every memo recorded. But by whom?
Intrigued, Clara went deeper, following the trail into this new system shadowing the Dauntless computers. Her eyes widened at what she found, as her breath tangled in her throat.
Just then, she heard noise in the corridor outside. She hastily shut down the computer, reaching the cover of the server towers just as one of the technicians arrived for her shift, yawning and bleary-eyed. Clara crept silently through the towers, praying she'd meet no more technicians.
Everyone was waking up. She'd need to get to the internal CCTV before anyone spotted her little foray into the computer room.
Then she needed to talk to the Doctor. Immediately.
Clara just managed to delete the footage of her sneaking into the computer rooms as the morning shift arrived. Not for the first time, Clara thanked her stars that she was small and quick, letting her blend in to the shadows between the strip lights in the corridors, hiding in plain sight.
Her heart pounded, but she still couldn't quite hide an exhilarated smile as she walked into the cafeteria.
It faded when she recalled what she'd discovered while hacking the Dauntless computer system. She wasn't the only one doing the hacking.
It was the day before her final initiation test, her fear landscape, so Clara had the day free to herself. After agreeing to meet Andrew, Ginny and Ryan for a drink and cake later, she escaped.
She climbed the Pit until she came to the roof, and out onto a secluded area that looked out over the train tracks below. Now that the exhilaration of her little secret mission had faded, and the implications of her discovery began to set in, she felt jumpy, hyper-alert, her heart racing as she glanced behind her to see if she was followed.
If what she suspected was true, she wouldn't be able to call the Doctor and Missy on the nanotech. It would be too dangerous.
With a deep breath, Clara closed her eyes.
Missy?
Nothing.
Missy? I need to talk to you and the Doctor. Missy?
Still no reply. Clara was beginning to feel really stupid just standing on the roof with her eyes closed.
MISSY!
Alright dear, no need to shout…
Finally. Clara couldn't help but smirk at the peeved tone of Missy's mental voice. Their bond was still working, then.
Well, you weren't answering, she replied tersely. Should try answering your telepathic mobile once in a while…
How very droll, my Clara. And to what do I owe this great pleasure? Missy drawled sarcastically. God, she'd missed this! The Dauntless weren't much into sarcasm.
However, now wasn't the time for it. I need to talk to you both, but it's too dangerous to use the nanotech. I found something.
Oh? And what is this 'something' which requires both our attention and has you too scared to use the nanotech?
I'm not scared, Clara scoffed. Just cautious.
Those dunderheaded apes haven't managed to brainwash you completely then. Incidentally, we also have some interesting information to impart… Missy continued.
Can you bring the Doctor in on our…link? Clara asked.
Not without initiating a full link. Something I sense you are reluctant to do?
Clara blanched at the thought of the Doctor in her head, especially right now. Missy was bad enough. Now she was in, she couldn't get her out completely. She wasn't ready for the Doctor.
Ignoring the little voice that whispered in her mind, not yet, she mentally shook her head.
Pity, I've been looking forward to the threesome. You moral types and your boundary issues…
Clara rolled her eyes. Missy…
Yes, yes, I know. Let me tap into your memories, and I'll relay the information to the Doctor.
Fine, good. Don't go poking around, Clara warned. She felt the telepathic equivalent of a raised eyebrow from Missy, but she did as she was asked. Clara felt briefly dizzy as her mind suddenly replayed the events of the morning, all but fast-forwarding through the unimportant bits until she was left once more looking at the screen in the Dauntless computer room.
This must be what it feels like to be a DVD, she mused, shaking her head to clear the slight headache.
She felt Missy's amusement at her comment, then she felt her retreat as she presumably shared what she'd found out with the Doctor. Despite herself, Clara found herself wondering what a bond with the Doctor would feel like. She wasn't ready for it, but it didn't stop her from wondering.
You really should just bite the bullet, you know. You two have enough drama for several soaps, and frankly you're getting as boring as one! Missy replied scornfully, as Clara mentally bristled.
As if I'd take advice on my love life from you, nutjob. Cyberman army ring a bell? she sighed, refusing to contemplate if it had been a good idea, letting Missy fully back into her head. It was done now.
And she'd never admit, even under torture, but she was enjoying it. Just a tad.
Yes, thank you for that lovely reminder, dear.
Let's leave the flirting for later. What did the Doctor say? Clara sighed.
Interesting. If there is someone else monitoring Dauntless systems, it might mean there's another player at work here. It might explain why we can't find the Tardis, or any mention of it in their files, encrypted or otherwise. Oh yes, and be careful.
Clara mentally rolled her eyes again at that one. What does he think I do? Walk around with my eyes closed, hoping I'll get hit by something? Anyway, what did you have for me?
I presume you remember, before you went all 'Rebel, rebel' on us, that I was able to sense that not all was well with these apes' minds?
Clara chose to ignore that jibe. Yes, I do. And?
I was correct. I was able to gather some DNA samples, using my usual methods, and was able to ascertain that their DNA is damaged. Which would also suggest that their vaunted 'Divergents' are in fact normal humans with normal DNA.
Clara digested the new information with shock, before her eyes narrowed. Usual methods? What methods? You didn't kill them…
Well…
Missy!
Oh, spoil my fun, why don't you!? No, I didn't kill them. I hardly would have escaped detection if I had. I hypnotised them, spoilsport. Really, Clara, you and the Doctor can be such killjoys…
Yeah, yeah, basic morality just sucks all the fun out of life, Clara replied tauntingly. Wait, why didn't you just send me the memories instead of telling me?
You're not ready for that. Not yet. Your telepathic abilities are only just developing, my dear. We wouldn't want a repeat of last time, would we? Missy replied, with slightly sour tone. You'll require regular lessons and experience before you'll be able to handle such an influx of information.
Fair point, Clara conceded. I'll have to ask the Doctor, sometime.
Oh, Clara. You have wounded me! Missy cried in mock pain, making Clara laugh aloud. On a similar note, I meant to ask…has the singing returned?
As if, Clara scoffed, before sobering as she tried to recall in response to Missy's question. No, it hasn't. Not since we were last on the Tardis…
Hmmm, Missy mused. I find it intriguing that it seems only to affect you when on the Tardis, when we are travelling in the Void.
Yeah, real intriguing, Clara muttered sourly. Anyway, I'd better go. Don't know what I look like right now, standing with my eyes closed, but I'd better not risk it, she began, drawing away from the contact but Missy pulled her back insistently.
You must be careful tomorrow, Clara. The Doctor and I will be there, but we cannot interfere. After you've finished your initiation, we'll need to discuss our next move regarding the Tardis. If what we suspect is true, and there is someone watching and manipulating events here in the city, then it won't be safe for us much longer to stay within the factions. Stay safe and stay alert, my Clara, she finished possessively. She almost rolled her eyes at her again, but stopped as a feeling of tenderness spread through her at Missy's veiled concern.
Always do, nutjob. Always do… she trailed off, pulling away from their bond before she made a fool of herself. Missy would never let her hear the end of it.
She felt the bond lessen, hidden behind a wall as she exhaled shakily and opened her eyes, blinking against the bright sunshine.
She refused to acknowledge the twinge of loss, deep in her gut, as her mind became her own and she was alone once more.
To be continued…
A/N: If anyone is wondering why I haven't done more than allude to Clara's fear landscape training, it's because I wanted to explore it from Missy and the Doctor's points of view, and show Clara's full fear landscape in one section, which will be next chapter. We're drawing to the end of the Divergent arc, so we'll soon have our team back in the Tardis where they belong.