Series 9: What We Deserve
Warnings: dark themes, violence, torture, m/f, f/f & m/f/f relationships, explicit scenes.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. If I did…damn you, Moffat!
Summary: Clara has some fun at her Time Lords expense. Clara and the Doctor finally sort things out between them. Missy learns not to underestimate human perception. Osgood just wants to have a lie-down.
The moment the Tardis doors shut behind them, the Doctor gently released Clara's arm to rush to the Tardis console and dematerialise. With a nod from Clara, Missy left her leaning against the rail and went to join him.
There was five seconds blissful silence before the two Gallifreyans started bickering over the correct dematerialisation procedure.
Clara smirked affectionately, shaking her head at her daft Time Lord and Lady, before glancing to Osgood. The human was gazing awestruck at the console room, her mouth gaping wide open and her eyes practically enlarged to the size of the round things on the walls. Wondering if she was going to faint, Clara limped her way across. "Hey?" she called softly. "You ok? It can be a bit…shocking the first time.
"I-it's…it's," Osgood stuttered.
"I know. Just let it out, everyone does," Clara told her wryly.
"Here we go," Missy muttered at the console, rolling her eyes.
"It's bigger on the inside," Osgood gasped. The Doctor groaned.
"Hah, you owe me a fiver!" Missy crowed delightedly, flicking the Doctor's arm. Giggling girlishly, she pirouetted around the console, singing a wordless melody to herself.
"Ignore them," Clara told Osgood with a smile, patting her on the arm. "First rule of travelling with Time Lords or Ladies? They're basically giant overgrown kids. You'll get used to them."
"The calculations have been stored in the Tardis computer, so we should have no problem making the next trans-dimensional fissure," the Doctor grunted from the console, as Missy danced around him. "We'll be in the Void in no time."
"Trans-dimensional fissures? The Void?" Osgood repeated weakly. Suddenly she looked at Clara, and then frowned down at her leg. "I just remembered, you okay? That cut is bleeding pretty badly, we need to get you patched up. Is there a first aid kit onboard?"
"I'll show you to the sickbay, just give me a second," Clara smiled, as Osgood nodded and stepped back, giving her privacy with the two Time Lords. She turned back to them, as they noticed her sudden sobriety and glanced towards her warily. Ignoring Missy for now, Clara limped determinedly towards the Doctor.
"Clara?" he breathed questioningly. "You should go get started, I'll be along in a moment-"
"Shut. Up." Clara replied firmly and clearly. Dumbstruck, the Doctor did as he was told. "I only have a limited amount of energy left, so I'm going to say my piece and you're going to stay quiet and listen. Understood?"
The Doctor opened his mouth to reply, then shut it promptly and simply nodded.
"Right, well then," Clara paused, gathering her thoughts. "I wasn't being evasive when I said I needed space and distance from you two, that I needed to learn how to be brave again. A lot has happened in the past few years, and it's changed me. It's changed a lot about me, and I had to realise and accept that. But it's changed you too, Doctor. Especially lately. Once, you would have torn that city down, back there in that last alternate universe, to reveal the truth about it to everyone and let them decide their fate. But you didn't, you rescued me, found the Tardis and got out of there."
Clara paused for a moment, watching the Doctor intently. Behind her Osgood was watching guardedly, while Missy looked almost proud. The Doctor said nothing.
"And I get it," she continued, after a moment. "You want Gallifrey. You want your home, so, so badly, I get it. And I don't judge you for it, not anymore. I should never have tried to, before, and I've finally learnt not to. I don't care that you've changed."
She moved closer to the Doctor, wincing as she felt fresh blood seep from her wound. She glimpsed both her Time Lords move to interrupt her, demand she go get medical treatment for it, but she resolutely ignored them, raising her hand in warning. Both backed down.
Clara limped until she was stood in front of the Doctor, staring up at him fiercely. "My fear landscape taught me a few things about myself too," she whispered. "And just as I don't have any right to judge you, Doctor, you have no right to judge me."
Quick as a flash, Clara reached up and snared the Doctor's jacket lapels. Not giving him time to react, she pulled him down to her and kissed him on the mouth.
She felt the Doctor freeze under her kiss, turning rigid as she gently pressed a hand to his cheek, then slid it up into his silver hair. With a suppressed groan, he abruptly returned the kiss as Clara teased him into opening his mouth and letting her explore, following her lead effortlessly.
Slowly, the kiss came to a natural end as Clara gazed up at her oldest friend lovingly, knowing the emotion for what it was and accepting. She'd loved him this whole time, and she wasn't afraid anymore. "I'm sorry for everything," she murmured against his lips.
The Doctor had to clear his throat before he could reply. "Yeah, me too," he breathed in reply. "I'm so sorry, Clara."
Clara smiled, stretching up and brushing a kiss against his mouth one more time, a thrill running through her when she realised she could feel his mind, the walls he kept up around his innermost self, still there but she knew they would tumble down at her command, if she wished it so.
Not quite yet.
Clara winced as her leg twinged, and she gingerly lowered herself back down. She glanced towards Missy, unusually silent throughout the whole conversation, and saw the Time Lady almost looking a little nervous as she met Clara's eyes.
"As for you…" Clara trailed off, biting back a groan of pain. "Same statement. I learned a lot of things while in Dauntless, and accepting who I am, all of who I am was one of them. I know you've been manipulating me, manipulating both of us since the moment you stepped onboard. Nevertheless, it was actually useful for once. But don't make the mistake of thinking I'm so easily and blindly manipulated again."
Clara stopped in front of Missy, meeting her gaze with as much steel as she could, letting Missy see how strong she now was. She was so immersed in Missy's eyes, that she spotted the slight flinch in those glacial depths, as Missy inclined her head in an almost mocking way but there was a new respect shining there now in her eyes. Newly born, perhaps, but still there.
Clara leant in, offering her lips, and Missy took full advantage. Clara let her tilt her jaw up, giving the Time Lady greater depth and a better angle, feeling the Doctor's gaze on her, as they kissed hungrily. She'd denied to herself how much she had missed this, but she didn't feel like stinting herself now.
No doubt poor Osgood was now rather traumatised, but frankly Clara didn't care. There were a lot more traumatic things she'd have to get used to if she wanted to live on the Tardis.
Finally Clara pulled away as her leg buckled underneath her. "Ow," she muttered, breathlessly.
"Silly girl," Missy replied fondly, before looking up and barking at Osgood. "Oi, ape-girl! Make yourself useful and get Clara to sickbay."
"I don't know where-" Osgood began uncertainly, but Clara cut in.
"I'll direct you," she told her reassuringly, as Osgood smiled in relief and bounded back up the stairs to help Clara. "I think I've earned a few painkillers."
As Clara limped ungainly down the gantry steps with Osgood, she glanced back one last time to her Time Lords. Both were standing exactly where she'd left them, looking faintly dumbstruck and bemused, staring blindly off into space. Clara couldn't resist a little chuckle to herself. Clara 1, Doctor 0, Missy 0.
After finding the sickbay and directing Osgood to the appropriate supplies, she'd let her help her to her bedroom. As the girl helped her sit down, Clara looked at her sympathetically.
"You ok?" she asked. "You look tired."
"I'm okay," Osgood assured her. "Bit of a crazy day."
"That's true," Clara snorted. "All along this corridor are bedrooms with bathrooms attached if you need a rest. Just pick one and the Tardis will secure it for you."
"You're going to have to sit down and explain all this to me," Osgood replied. "My head's still spinning."
"You'll get used to it, trust me," Clara rolled her eyes. "Thank you, Osgood, now go get some rest. I'll be fine."
Osgood smiled gratefully and left her alone, shutting the door softly behind her. Outside, in the long corridor she stared at door after door, wondering which one to pick. Which ones belonged to Missy and the Doctor? Should she just pick at random?
In the end, Osgood was simply too tired to care. She chose a door at random and stepped inside.
To her amazement, the room inside was painted in tasteful shades of blue, the floor carpeted in a material so soft, Osgood felt like she was walking on clouds. The only jarring note was the presence of a bunkbed, but she was just so glad to see a bed that she didn't care.
The bathroom attached was the same, everything she needed present and to hand. Osgood showered quickly, just to get the stench of sewer out of her hair, and changed into the pyjamas she found waiting for her on the bed.
"This is truly a remarkable ship," she breathed, with a soft smile, utterly awed. "Impossible."
As she lay back, the ship whirred and groaned around her, as the lights dimmed. Osgood felt only a comforting sense of safety as she drifted off to sleep.
After a quick shower, Clara had changed into her pyjamas, relishing the feel of cool silk against her skin. The dressing on her leg would heal the cut in hours, but her body temperature was raised as a result of the stimulation of her body's systems to heal the damage faster. She wouldn't even have a scar, but she would have to put up with feeling like she was stuck in a sauna.
She was in such a mental haze from the drugs, she was frankly amazed she managed to even make it to the bed, let alone change into her nightwear. With a blissful sigh, she snuggled into the duvet and fell asleep.
She was awoken several hours later by the feel of sharp nails gently tracing random patterns on the side of her face. She moaned, pouting in her half-asleep state, mentally cursing whoever had decided to wake her up.
"Now, now dear," a familiar voice purred. "No need for the swearing."
"Missy," Clara sighed. "You do realise it's super-creepy, watching people sleep without them knowing?"
"Well, I would be surprised if you were asleep and aware of my scrutiny at the same time," Missy retorted smugly. "You must be tired if your brain couldn't make that tiny leap of logic."
"Shut up, I am tired," Clara said through her yawn. She opened her eyes blearily and eyed Missy narrowly. She'd showered and changed, presumably, her soiled clothes replaced by a black version of her usual suit and her hair immaculately coiffed once more. "Where are we? How long have I been asleep?"
"We're fully in the Void now," Missy told her, gently caressing Clara's cheek. She could sense Missy's mind at the very periphery of hers, a chaotic web that had become so comforting to Clara in recent weeks. "You've only been asleep a few hours."
"And you just decided to randomly wake me up?" Clara asked grumpily. "What, the Doctor boring you?"
Missy chuckled. "You gave the old man such a turn with that kiss of yours. I must say, I applaud you. I don't think I've seen him look so shocked since the time I nobly sacrificed myself for him at the end of the Time War."
Clara just muttered incoherently, and burrowed deeper into her pillows. Her brain was too hazy for all this. Suddenly she felt tiny, butterfly kisses along her jaw line, sparking along her nerves. She groaned, her body waking up reluctantly to Missy's attentions. She turned onto her back, and Missy leaned further over her, kissing her heatedly. Clara moaned, leaning up into the kiss, Missy's cooler skin like a soothing balm on her dewed body.
Missy's hand drifted down Clara's jaw, down her neck and across her breasts, lingering only to tease their taut peaks, before sliding down over her midsection. "How can you think about sex at a time like this?" Clara broke the kiss to ask archly, one brow raised quizzically. Suddenly Missy's nails scratched softly across her abdomen and she hissed, arching her back.
But not in pleasure. In pain.
"Clara?" Missy asked concernedly. She slid Clara's camisole up, to reveal the darkening bruise blossoming across most of her abdomen, tender and ugly. "Clara!"
"Ooops!" Clara giggled. "Must have happened when Adam kicked me in the stomach."
Missy's face darkened at the mention of her earlier kidnap and torture, before she got up. "Why didn't you say something earlier?"
"I kind of…forgot," Clara shrugged.
"Forgot?" Missy asked incredulously, as she rummaged around in Clara's bathroom. "How does one forget an internal-bleeding-causing injury?"
"Well, first I was being tortured," Clara raised three fingers to illustrate her point, not seeing the brief flash of anger in Missy's eyes when she mentioned her ordeal. "Then I was high on adrenaline. Then I was high on painkillers. Still am, in fact."
"Clearly," Missy muttered dryly. "If that fool girl did as she was told, then that healing balm she used will help the bruising."
"Oh she did," Clara giggled. "People always do as I tell them."
"Right little tyrant you're becoming, my wee lassie," Missy drawled in an exaggerated Scottish accent as she reappeared from the bathroom, a small pot in one hand. "We'll make an intergalactic dictator of you yet."
"I never know when you're joking," Clara sighed, rolling her eyes as she lay back against the pillows again.
"Hush," Missy barked, sitting down beside Clara to scoop liberal amounts of balm onto her fingertips and massage it into the skin of Clara's abdomen. Clara sighed blissfully, wriggling slightly under Missy's ministrations, prompting an amused look from the Time Lady.
A companionable silence descended, as Clara stared dreamily at the ceiling. Something that had been niggling away at her for the past few hours resurfaced, and she frowned. "Missy?" she asked, softly.
"Hmm?"
"Did you- do you have a daughter?" Clara asked carefully, regaining some of her caution despite her drugged state. "You mentioned a daughter, back in Dauntless."
Missy sighed, and for the first time Clara glimpsed vulnerability in her eyes. "Yes, I did. It was not uncommon, the Doctor had children and grandchildren too," she murmured, looking away from Clara. She finished her massage, wiped her hands on the duvet and screwed the lid back on the pot, placing it on Clara's bedside table. Unconsciously her hand rose to the cameo brooch at her throat, fingers brushing it lightly. "The Doctor gave it to me the day she was Loomed, as a gift for her when she eventually graduated the Academy. He left Gallifrey shortly after."
"And now you wear it in memory of her?" Clara asked softly. Missy didn't answer, so Clara reached out and placed a hand on hers, making her jump slightly. Wordlessly, Clara pulled Missy back onto the bed with her, snuggling up against her tightly. After a stunned second, Missy pulled her tighter into her, her chin nestled on Clara's hair.
"You never cease to surprise me, darling," Missy whispered.
"Well, that's what I live for," Clara replied sarcastically, guessing that Missy was uncomfortable with the idea of any continuing sentimentality. She felt Missy's laugh against her hair, and smiled in triumph. "I surprised you today."
"Yes, you did," Missy replied dryly. "My wonderful masterstroke, foiled by a jumped up simian primate!"
"Oi!" Clara muttered sleepily. "If you weren't such a needy, egomaniac game-player in the first place…" she trailed off, as a memory of a similar conversation came back and she burst out in uncontrollable giggles.
"Clara?" Missy asked, frowning now. "Clara, what is it?"
Clara was still too busy laughing to answer. "Good heavens, whatever that ape gave you is worse than laughing gas," Missy drawled. "Whatever is it?"
Clara's laughs eventually petered out to a slight snicker, as she rolled over to face Missy once more. "Advertisement? Victorian London? Impossible Girl, lunch on the other side?" she said, watching as recognition bloomed in Missy's eyes.
"What of it?" the Time Lady asked warily, recalling the incident where she'd ensured that the newly regenerated Doctor and her Impossible Girl had reunited after he went AWOL mid-regeneration crisis in Victorian London.
"The Doctor…" Clara managed to say between snickers. "That whoever placed that…advert…was a needy…egomaniac game-player…!"
Outrage flashed across Missy's face. "Of all the blasted cheek!" she thundered, almost too indignant to speak. "That witless oaf! If there's anyone more…that's really pot calling the kettle black. Oh, stop laughing, you're no better!"
But Clara couldn't stop laughing. Indignation simmering away, Missy searched for a way to shut that infernal, taunting giggle up. Of all the insolence! Her, the Mistress, a needy, egomaniacal game-player!? And her human found it funny!?
"I'll give you something to laugh about," she muttered direfully, a small part of her mind already planning the Doctor's murder vengefully, not permanently, just to force him to regenerate. Perhaps the next version of him would be a damn sight less insolent. Then again, he was the Doctor. Insolence was hard-wired into his DNA.
As for Clara…
Missy rolled atop her Impossible Girl, careful of her injured stomach and leg, and pinned her wrists to the pillow. She smirked, as Clara realised her position and quietened, gazing up at Missy with those annoyingly beautiful brown eyes blown wide with lust and anticipation. She was still chuckling, however.
Missy rocked her hips against Clara's, forcing that chuckle to hitch as her breath was cut short. A delicious look of sensual shock overtook her precious human's face, as she leaned down to sample those parted, tempting lips for herself.
Well, that was certainly one way to shut Clara up.
To be continued…