Series 9: What We Deserve
Warnings: dark themes, violence, torture, m/f, f/f & m/f/f relationships, explicit scenes.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. If I did…damn you, Moffat!
Summary: The impossible happens. Not even the Impossible Girl has the power to help them this time, but an opportunity might arise for another to prove their worth.
Silence reigned in the Tardis in the aftermath of that terrifying voice, and the final fading echo of the Tardis engines as she landed. Somewhere.
But that was impossible. They'd landed, but they were still in the Void. It was impossible.
The Doctor knew what the instruments were telling him, but his mind flatly refused to accept it. There was nothing in the Void, no air, no light, no land, no matter, nothing. And yet, they had landed.
Beside him, Missy was still leaning on the gantry railing, while Clara clutched her head, reeling from the pain of the psychic attack they'd just suffered. Osgood's eyes were as wide as saucers, her fear and incomprehension rippling through the air to the Doctor's newly re-sensitised psychic senses. "What just happened?"
"Obviously, we've landed," Missy drawled sarcastically, hauling herself up from the floor. "Do try to keep up, ape-girl."
Warily, especially so considering the revelation of the past few minutes, he met the Time Lady's eyes. They burned with familiar rage and hate as they met his own, and accusation that was all too painful. It had all been so long ago, buried in dust and ashes of a past that no longer mattered, but it made him feel ashamed all over again. Shame and pain and anguish for not protecting her, for choosing himself over her, the best friend he had killed for, and for running away. He'd been running away for so long.
And now their shared past was catching up to him, again. Refusing to set them free, again.
But then weariness filled those eyes, replacing the anger and the hate that could have burned an entire galaxy in revenge for what he had done, both as children and later, so many hundreds of years later. He watched as she visibly drew herself up, shuttering the pain and the hate away, refusing to allow it free reign. "Why aren't you angrier?" he asked, his mouth acting without permission from his brain, as Missy stood upright, dusting down her jacket dismissively.
"Oh, I am," she shrugged, not looking particularly exercised by their recent remembrance of his first, and worst, betrayal. "But what's the point? It's all ancient history and ensuring you regenerate far sooner than expected will only add to the veritable manure pile of problems we're facing. We literally don't have time to accommodate your desire for self-flagellation right now, Doctor."
He bristled at that, but Clara interjected quietly, but firmly. "She's right, Doctor. We're got bigger problems right now."
He deflated at that, unsure why he was even looking for a fight with Missy at that moment, when it was so clear they were in mortal peril. Perhaps, because he'd expected it, and she hadn't delivered.
Whatever. Clara was right; they had bigger fish to fry right now than the idiosyncrasies of Missy's psyche.
"You guys need help," Osgood groaned, wondering for the umpteenth time what she'd stumbled into.
"Probably," Clara groaned, releasing her head as the pain dimmed slightly. It hadn't left her, but it was bearable, like a particularly nasty pressure headache. And the singing…she could sense it like a burgeoning weight at the very periphery of her consciousness, just waiting to ensnare her again.
And beyond that…she could feel them. The Doctor and Missy. Whatever their attacker had done to them, it hadn't broken their bond. They were still with her.
She felt the reassuring brush of Missy's mind against hers, and not for the first time, Clara wondered when that had happened. Missy and comforting in the same sentence was not exactly…normal, but it was her everyday now. And right behind her, she felt the Doctor, further easing the pain of the attack, even though she knew they had to be hurting too. Taking a deep breath, Clara straightened defiantly, and turned to face her fellow travellers. "What do we do now?" she asked urgently. "Can we take off again?"
The Doctor checked the instruments on the console, but all of them were unresponsive beyond telling him their basic location, which was impossible, and their current situation, which was again impossible. Recalling the coordinates from before, he hastily re-entered them into the Tardis NavCom, but it refused to take. When he pulled the lever to dematerialise, the Tardis engines stayed silent.
"I would take that as a 'no' dear," Missy sighed, coming to the Doctor's side as he gritted his teeth in frustration. "There's something blocking us, something trying to stop us from taking off again…"
"I think we all know what…or rather who it is," the Doctor growled, as Clara shuddered and Osgood's already white face paled even more.
"But that's not possible! She-it's not possible-" the human protested lamely, as Clara reached out to lay a comforting hand on her arm.
"Not possible is just run of the mill around here, I'm afraid," she breathed, watching her two Time Lords closely. "You get used to it eventually. So what do we do, Doctor?" Clara continued. The Doctor glanced towards her, fear in his eyes and it hit her like a physical blow. The Doctor really was terrified.
She left Osgood and went to his side, tentatively reaching out to him telepathically, wary of any more assaults or lingering pain from earlier. But there was none, just intimacy and quiet comfort as he reached out and took her hand.
Osgood interrupted their moment, with a shrug of her shoulders in false nonchalance. "We have to find the source of whatever's holding us here and stop it," she offered. Missy snorted scornfully.
"We don't know what's holding us here, ape-girl, and leaving the Tardis is suicide. There is nothing out there: no land, no air, no heat, no light-"
"Yeah, yeah I remember," Osgood interjected firmly, folding her arms. "But we can't stay in the Tardis forever. What other choice do we have but to see what's out there?"
Silence greeted that pronouncement, for no matter how much the others disliked the fact, Osgood had a point. They couldn't stay in the Tardis forever. In the Void, she'd lose power eventually and then they would slowly die, away from all hope and life, as they floated in the gaps between realities.
It wasn't a pleasant trade-off: a slow, lingering death in the Tardis or…whatever awaited them outside. If there even was an outside.
The Doctor sighed, hating the choice. "Whatever stopped the Tardis, whatever attacked us….it brought us here for a reason. We step out those doors, we step into a trap," he pointed out.
"But the only way out might be to spring the trap," Clara replied, looking at Osgood considering. "And what if that…voice just comes for us here? The Tardis can't keep it out forever. That, or it'll just drive us insane instead."
"I'm already insane, dear, there isn't much more it can do to me on that front," Missy huffed, eying the two humans narrowly. "Well, if you two are determined to get yourselves killed, I'm not letting you wander out there alone. There needs to be someone of intelligence in the party to stop you getting yourselves killed."
"That might just be the noblest thing I've ever heard you say," the Doctor breathed, breaking the heaviness of the moment as Clara huffed a tight laugh and the Mistress shrieked in outrage. Even Osgood cracked a smile.
Forcing her levity aside, Clara took a deep breath and stepped away from the console, ignoring the building pain in her head and the feeling of the singing once again threatening to encroach on her senses. "Well, let's do it then."
Clara felt Osgood fall in beside her as they approached the doors, leaving the two Time Lords watching on in reluctant admiration. "Humans," Missy huffed, as the Doctor grunted in agreement. But despite himself, he was proud of their pragmatism in the face of their terror. They were right, staying in the Tardis would only delay the inevitable. They had to confront whatever lay outside those doors.
But…the Doctor knew exactly what, and so did the Mistress. Clara had an inkling from their joint past recollections, but Osgood was entirely oblivious. They were lambs heading for the slaughter.
Perhaps that was why the first step was so difficult? The Doctor felt reluctance and cold fear drag at his muscles as he went to take the first step after Clara and Osgood, who waited for them by the doors. He felt Missy's hand brush his even as her thoughts brushed his own thoughts, fear and unease in every resounding note, something she would never admit to Clara, even with their new bond. But to him, her oldest, greatest friend and enemy, she could.
Finally, the doors drew closer, until the Doctor could make out the tiny cracks in the paint on the wood, and he reached out a hand to lay flat against the panels. Thoughts and memories, too terrible to give voice, rushed through his mind. He didn't want to walk out those doors, he didn't want to reawaken the old ghosts just waiting to drag him back down, but they had come for him anyway. Him and Missy both, with Clara and Osgood just collateral damage.
The strategy of an Eternal, one he and Missy knew all too well. One that had haunted his every step since he ran from Gallifrey.
Its okay, Doctor…Clara's voice floated through his head, interrupting the nightmare, and he inhaled deeply. With his Impossible Girl beside him and his Mistress at his back, he pulled the doors open and strode outside to do battle.
Death felt the old fool's capitulation and smiled. She knew that, even with his newly recalled knowledge of what awaited him, he would not hide away forever. Better to gird the lion now than wait…
Old fool…come to mama…
The first thing Osgood noted, albeit absentmindedly, was the crunch of gravel and clay soil beneath her boots. The air was cool but not freezing, and she could breathe. All these sensations registered in her brain, but she was unable to tear her eyes away from the…nothingness that surrounded them. A sickly green light, a corpse-light, eerie and plaintive, illuminated only the path ahead, but above and behind them and the Tardis, there was just…nothing.
Ahead, a chalky, mountainous path led up and onto a ridge of rock, circling above their heads. The path was sheer and narrow, dangerously cut and treacherous, the nothingness surrounding it giving the impression of height. Osgood wished desperately for some of that supposed Dauntless courage she possessed; she'd never liked heights. But unlike falling off a building back home, there would be no sudden stop, no heart-rending and bone-crushing final crash, just an endless fall through nothing, stretching on forever and ever into perpetuity. Not even the end of the Universe would touch the poor soul who fell into the Void.
"Come on," the Doctor's voice, more grim and hoarse than usual, forced her feet on, as she followed the Doctor, Missy and Clara up the path and away from the Tardis.
They had brought another with them. How boring, she had no use for another pet. Especially one so insignificant and useless. She would have to be gotten rid of.
Easy enough.
This world was her domain, her private playground. There was no power that ruled here, but her own. They could not escape.
The Doctor gently thumbed through the settings on his screwdriver, unsure what to scan for. To his shock, the device picked up minute changes in the atmosphere around them, the chemical composition of the rocks beneath their feet and the air temperature. There was no life signs or energy signatures that he could detect, but unease crawled over his skin like a phalanx of ants.
"This place is impossible," he breathed, showing the readings to Missy and Clara, as Osgood trudged up the hill behind them. They had just crested the ridge and stood on a wide plateau of rock, desolate and deserted. "There is oxygen here, and nitrogen and carbon dioxide, the perfect mix for humanoids in fact…the screwdriver can't find any anomalies in the rock underneath us…"
"That means that she wants us alive, for the moment," Missy hissed, eyes scanning the landscape intently, like a predator searching for its prey. "Don't let your guard down." Clara nodded distractedly, and Missy's gaze snapped to hers with the same intensity. "Clara?"
"I'm…fine," Clara breathed, but her gaze was turned inward, unseeing as the Doctor realised something was amiss and he moved towards her. Through their fledgling bond, he could feel something impinging on her thoughts, a growing pressure, an eerily familiar weight.
"Clara…" he breathed warningly, as Missy took hold of her shoulders tightly. "Clara, is it her…? Is it the singing?"
"It's…building again," Clara gasped through gritted teeth, as she closed her eyes, her jaw firming defiantly as her fists clenched at her side. Wordlessly, the Doctor reached out a hand and laid it against her cheek, trying to imbue the gesture with as much of his mental strength as he could. They didn't have the time necessary to build psychic defences for Clara, and he had a sneaking suspicion they wouldn't be enough anyway. All he could do was ease the pain, for a little while. Clara exhaled with relief, as Missy added her own strength to the Doctor's, and they felt the weight pressing against the human's mind ease. "Thanks," she breathed, opening her eyes and bestowing a watery smile on both of them.
Just then they heard a shout, as Osgood tripped as she climbed up the ridge towards them. Feeling a little guilty for neglecting perhaps the most vulnerable of their group, the Doctor stepped back and went to help her sheepishly, hauling her over the final crest and to safety. After the plateau, they still had a long path up a winding trail, leading up and into the mountains that now stretched up above their heads.
She felt the Time Lords' power, interrupting the music, softening its blow against the soft, bruised flesh of the human's mind. It would send her mad, eventually, if not for them. Not even the Impossible Girl could stand firm against the singing in her head alone, not for long.
It came from a creature far older than her, far stronger and far more desperate. It would have her, in the end.
She supposed she would be doing the human a kindness in the end. How strange, to think of Death as kind, but sometimes, even she could be so. It was Life, and Time and Pain, who were truly merciless.
She felt her Champion's fear and rage, bubbling away beneath the surface of her erratic, eccentric persona, like a volcano just waiting to explode. If she had more time, it would be fun to see how she needed to push. Fun to play once more, with the once diabolical mind, its edge dulled by pain and madness, its former debonair charm and casual superiority overtaken by insanity and icy rage. If she could feel pity, she might do so as she regarded her erstwhile Child.
But she did not, she felt only contempt. It would almost be a mercy to put her out of her misery.
She shuddered with pleasure as she felt them draw close. Soon, soon…
But first, to deal with the spare.
The sweat dried cold on the small of Osgood's back. She panted hard, as they climbed the seemingly interminable trail into the mountains, steep and unforgiving. She didn't have time to be scared as she climbed behind the others, she just focussed on the burn of her muscles, the need to keep breathing and keep up. She already felt annoyed that she'd fallen behind, even knowing that Clara was strong and fit from her time with the Dauntless, and both the Doctor and Missy were stronger than they looked. She just didn't want to be the weak link in the chain, but it looked like she wasn't being given much choice in the matter.
Up ahead, the three were talking in hushed, careful voices, as if fearful of disturbing the watchful silence of the surrounding landscape. Osgood didn't blame them, it was freaking her out too. She avoided looking at the Void around them; it made her feel sick and dizzy.
Not even jumping off that train, or through the hole in the roof at Dauntless, could ever compare to this.
She didn't understand why this 'Death' character hadn't struck yet. The way the Doctor and Missy had reacted when they realised it was her stalking them, Osgood had surmised that they had a past, and not a good one at that. So why had she lured them here? From the sound of it, she had the power to knock them out of the figurative sky, why go to the bother of creating this…construct for them to survive in while she drew them in? Was it just for the pleasure of it, the pleasure of the hunt before the kill, or was it something else? Did they have something she wanted?
Most living things wanted something, Osgood mused distractedly as she climbed. Animals wanted what their survival instincts told them to want, but humans were a little more complicated. But this Eternal wasn't human, so what did an inhuman, immortal personification of a concept want? What could Death herself desire?
Osgood looked towards Clara at that moment, and frowned. She remembered how Death seemed to be targeting Clara specifically, her commands channelled through Clara as if she were her puppet, and it seemed she was the one who was suffering the most as they struggled on, as every now and then, either the Doctor or Missy would reach out and touch her. Osgood thought it just a move to comfort, but then she remembered what the Doctor had said about their telepathy and their bond, and wondered if they were trying to help Clara keep the Eternal out of her head. Did the Eternal want Clara…?
Suspicion flared, just as Osgood heard a harsh cracking sound behind her. Suddenly the ground fell from underneath her. She screamed as she lost her footing, having the briefest glimpse of the Doctor spinning at her panicked shout and rushing towards her, Clara at his side, before nothing but white rock and blackness filled her vision.
"Osgood!" Clara shouted desperately, as she saw the cliff crumble from beneath their new travelling companion. She rushed to the cliff side, now jagged and broken, and looked down into dizzying blackness. The Doctor knelt by her side, grim blue eyes scanning the emptiness desperately.
"OSGOOD!" he shouted in turn, but there was no reply but a mocking echo.
"She must have decided she was meaningless," Missy mused behind them, unaffected by the death of their companion. Clara was shaking, from pain, fatigue and grief as she stood shakily, aware that the Doctor was shaking with rage all his own. Missy met his angry stare with her own cool, disaffected one. "So she got rid of her. She's playing a game with us."
"I gathered that, thank you," the Doctor replied in harsh, bitten-off tones, sarcastic and sharp. Missy's brow rose, as she reached out and ensnared Clara's arm, tugging her onward.
"Good. Then save your rage for her," Missy called back over her shoulder, trudging onward as the Doctor stared back over the edge of the cliff to the Void beneath. For a moment, he let his head bow as his failure and shame washed over him. He had failed her again…
I'm so sorry, Osgood…
His clenched fists shaking, the Doctor turned away from the edge and followed his companions, his rage growing within him like a storm.
At last, they reached the top of the winding trail, flaring out into a wide bowl-like depression in the mountain top, tumbled and tangled jagged rocks scattered here and there, as if blasted by dynamite. A great slab of black onyx stood in the very centre of the bowl, flanked by flickering torches. Behind it, more torches spread out and back, along and up the sharply angled wall of the far cliff, a monstrous, might backdrop of mocking light in the nothingness of the Void. The flames gave off no heat, no light but that noisome corpse-light, and the Doctor shuddered. Glancing at his companions, he saw that their skin was washed grey, as if sickening, and Clara appeared worst of all.
She was breathing hard, her skin lurid in the half-light of the flames, and she was shaking in Missy's grip. For some time during their climb, their interventions had failed to help with the singing and the Doctor was powerless as he realised how fast it was overtaking her once again. Helped along, no doubt, by the entity that had hijacked it for her own purposes.
From the moment they had stepped from the Tardis, he had felt no trace of the malevolent presence that had attacked them and the Tardis. But he had no doubt she was there, watching them, playing with them. She had disposed of Osgood like she was so much rubbish. But to what end?
The Doctor had a sneaking suspicion they would soon find out.
Missy led Clara to a rock to sit and rest, hovering over her like a mother hen. If the Doctor had not felt their bond for himself, he wouldn't have been able to credit it, the Mistress showing care for a lowly human, but Clara had long ceased to be a mere human either in fact, or in the eyes of the Doctor and Missy. And in others, apparently.
"Doctor!" Missy's alarmed shout tore him from his thoughts, as he spun and saw Clara's head lolling limply on Missy's shoulder, her eyes unseeing and blank. Cursing his inattention, the Doctor rushed to their side, scanning Clara with the screwdriver. She was a mess of hormones and chemical markers, her body in overdrive as her mind collapsed. He could feel the echo of the singing in her head.
At that moment, the Doctor's own head exploded with pain as he yelled blindly, falling to his knees as it built inexorably. With a jolt, he realised he was feeling Missy's agony as well as his own. He heard a set of thuds as a body slid to the ground, and a set of knees hit the dirt. A shrill keening filled the air, as the flames burnt higher than ever behind them.
A sickening feeling of dread and nausea roiled over him in waves, replacing the pain, as he felt his will disappear, smothered underneath that of a far older, more powerful being, inexorable and unstoppable. He was dimly aware of Missy crawling towards him, reaching blindly towards him in the darkness. With a fresh surge of agony, he heard the drums beat again in her mind, as she stopped and clutched her head, mouth open in a silent scream.
With a tremor that shook his entire body, the Doctor raised his head, opening stinging eyes to look up into the burning yellow eyes of the creature who now imposed her will on them, a grimacing rictus serving for a welcoming smile in the depths of her hooded robe.
Welcome home, my Champions, my Disciples. My Children…Mama's missed you.
To be continued…