Yeah, yeah-; this has been a LOOOOONG time coming, and all that shit- but personally, I've got better things to do with my life than writing Fanfiction constantly, 24/7... Is what I'd like to say, but I have just been bored and couldn't be bothered to write.

But like always- shut up, read, and listen to your Senpai

"Bad enough I can't find those dynamic retards to get some answers out of them, but I also have to deal with the fact that my unconscious body is now in the hands of people that will no doubt be slicing away at my skin and probably doing some anal probing to figure out how I tick, with the only deterrent being a couple of rash, hormonal teenage boys that followed the lead of ANOTHER, even worse, hormonal teenage boy, who wanted to quote on quote, 'Save his friend' when in actuality, he just came to get some mother fucking POON from the closest thing he will get to a princess, a sarcastic kitty with student issues, and two girls who are BOTH after MY ASS as well, with the fact I know they are going to stop anyone from touching my ass, because they want my ASS CHERRY for themselves! Because all they want to do is bend me over the bed we'll share for the night, and while they are putting on the pants that I should be wearing for the relationship, they'll get a strap on as well and just go to- WHEN DOES THIS FUCKING THING END?!" I yelled as after the umpteenth hour of being in the same, dark hallway from back in Chapter 4(Was in Chapter 4? It's gotten to the point where I just can't care enough to keep track.) before I lost my freaking powers, but this time it seemed without a guide, it was taking a lot longer to reach where I needed to be(Wherever THAT was-), which was rather weird, considering I had a massive ass rock on my back last time- but hey, fuck you physics, this is my mind.

Never mind the fact I couldn't control anything that went on in here, it was still my psychotic mind!

"I swear to god, if this thing doesn't end, I am going to start singing my road trip sound track back to back-" As if a god(Which, being technical about it, I was one of.) had heard the atrocity about to happen, I noticed one of the side doors that wasn't any different from the thousands I had passed already, except for the fact this one had letters on it(Not like I was able to read them anyway, it was like they were jumbled up so I'd have to put them back in the right order, but the only thing I could make of it was 'Zangetsu'... Well, that or 'Suzegant', but neither made any sense to my Japlish reading skills- if only I could read Englishnese as well.).

"About damn time I found something interesting- this almost has me wanting to actually believe in a religion again with how fast that man above the clouds worked."

Almost.

Quickly going over to it, I moved to open it up. "Honey, I'm-" Locked. "... Home."

The door, the rickety ass looking door, inside my mind, the place where I should be able to reign supreme above all other places- was locked.

"Haha, okay, I know I take a lot of shit from people, but to take this kind of crap from my own mind?" Purple Reiatsu started to form in my hands. "Now that's just about where I draw my nearly non-existent line."

"Wow that thing went down easier than I had expected, and- those are some massive ass skyscrapers." Entering through the doorway(That was now doorless; and will be staying so for as long as I was still breathing-), I was rubbing my head(Who knew you could get a headache from destroying part of something inside your mind? I sure did, but that door was asking for it anyway.) as I looked upon all the massive buildings from the ground floor(Kind of difficult, though, considering there was also a fairly dense mist surrounding the entire place, but what can you do?). "Is this my new mindscape? Because I liked the old one better- that one had sand." Looking around didn't prove very fruitful to finding anything out of the ordinary, so instead I just leapt on top of the tallest of the buildings to see if I could find anyone there. "Hmmmm. Wonder if I can see my house from up here-" Squinting, I kneeled on the pole I was standing on. "So this is how Batman feels every time he does this… I should get a mask." Blinking, I stood back up and turned around to another, slightly smaller building right next to the one I was standing on. "Well hello, average, pasty, and so, so evil." A perfect carbon copy of what Ichigo looked like was staring(Well, more glaring than anything, but you get the point.) right at me, only instead of being regularly colored, he looked kind of, pastel, and really white.

Didn't know my mind had cloning technology- holy shit, I could reenact Star Wars!... But, before that-

"So, you come here often, or do you just like what you see?" Silence. "Oh who am I kidding- of course you do, but anyway, what you up to, dude? Anything cool to do around here?" Even more silence. "Well, I see someone isn't very good at small talk! Good thing I have practice talking to brick walls, anyway. So, what do you do for work… Well, besides being the poster boy for the KKK-" "Why are you here?" Well, someone could run for Cobra Commander with that kind of venom in their voice! "Hell if I know- I was just on my way to find some rag-tag Spirit duo that took up base here inside my, admittedly, empty head, when I happened upon this place. And, if I were to take a guess, also happens to be your abode." I took the silence as me being right(Like always… And no, I am NOT being pretentious!... Honest-). "And, seeing as I've never seen you before, I am also going to take a stab in the dark, and say you were the.. Well-" "The what? The extra baggage that came with HIJACKING THAT BODY?! The leftover piece of the SOUL, you just about DESTROYED?! THE FUCKING WASTE OF SPACE THAT IS STILL SOMEHOW AROUND, EVEN AFTER EVERYTHING ELSE WAS TAKEN?!" "I was going to say the Spirit that roams the empty halls of my mind, waiting for the day when it will finally find it's purpose in life that isn't being a mystery for the Scooby gang to happen upon and solve, but, hey- your words, not mine." "G-GAAAAAAAAHHH!" Apparently not being able to take anymore shit(Wow did he break fast- most people took at least 3 sentences to crack.), he sped off the pole of his and slammed his fist into my face.

Which might as well have been the equivalent of a fly slamming into a parked car.

Turning my head back to its original position, despite the fist connected to it, I gave him a look. "I'd say my grandma smacks me harder than you, but you know-" Casually grabbing the back of his head, I slammed it into my knee. "-The truth hurts, and I think I just put you in enough pain for the time being." Quickly getting over the shock and knee to the face, the pale imitation of Ichigo(Literally-) jumped back onto his pole, having that same scowl Ichigo always had on his face(Or did… Wow, no wonder this guy wants to hurt me- I'm a dick!). "So, you got anymore where that came from, poster boy, or are you just going to let my raging boner filled with nothing but manliness and adrenaline flop down faster than your chances of winning this fight after you aimed for my money maker?" Hearing the serendipitous sound of grit teeth only made my dick harder.

I get off on this kind of shit- at least I wasn't doing it like those brony trolls do for MLP.

Growling, pasty summoned what used to be Ichigo's Shikai sword into his hands(How he got the thing from the 'Old Man' I had no interest in finding out-) and charged back in. "Well, you got spunk, I'll give you that- but I do too, and it's just begging to cum(Ha! Puns!) out!" Summoning my sword as well(Which was at rest, unlike my other, better sword.), we clashed as I dove down in the air to meet him. "I know you're probably in mourning and everything, but I don't think us touching tips will help you- or maybe it will, I don't know. But whatever works for you, buddy! I'm just here to-" "Dear God, SHUT UP! And here I thought I was annoying-" "If it helps, you are in my book!" "Joy." Breaking apart, we both landed back on our buildings, except-

"Are you on that thing sideways?" The hell did he think he was, Spooderman?!

"Yeah- comes with the territory, not that you'd understand, considering you just go around stealing them from people!" "Oh for- are you still on that? Look, you're inside my mind, aren't you? Can't you just go looking through my memories to see that I had absolutely no clue that something like this would happen-" "I DON'T CARE IF YOU DIDN'T KNOW- ALL THAT MATTERS IS THAT IT DID, AND THERE IS NO GOING BACK NOW!" Yeesh, living in the past too much, aren't we? "YES! YES I AM!" Right- keep forgetting that these things can read my mind… Considering we are literally inside it.

Ugh, now I have to snap one liners out immediately so the punch line wouldn't be ruined.

Dicks.

"Don't mind if I do- cut off YOURS, at least!" "Awwww, come on, don't be such a dick-"

Nailed it.

"About to nail your ass to my wall in a second-" Appearing in the air in front of me, he took a swing at my chest, but I leaned backwards, causing it to swing over me, which opened up an opportunity for me to kick him in the face, sending him flying backwards, which I followed up with speeding after him and trying to drop kick him mid-air, but he righted himself at the last second, only to find my other leg straight in his sternum and sent flying again, this time into one of the buildings(Strangely, when he broke through the thing, I felt like I forgot my birthday- which was probably just the adrenaline pumping through my veins, and not my cortex being damaged in some way from destroying property inside my mind.). "Is that all? Tell me that isn't all you have, because I was hoping for a fight, here, not some pussy emo's temper tantrum because his mommy wouldn't let him wear her mascara." Floating outside the hole this wigger had made with his body, I squinted my eyes to try and find him. "Though lets be real here, with your complexion, mascara would be the worst thing to-" The white man interrupted me by breaking out of the window on the floor above me and took a slice at my head- which was easily caught in my hand before I threw him back into the hole he made in the building before.

"Seriously? Well I must say, seems you've finally found something you suck better at than mens penis's!" Lifting up my sword, I charged up for(What will probably become my signature attack sooner or later-) what seemed to be my swords only attack.

You know- other than just becoming a giant butchering knife I could swing around to cut people with.

"Now, would you kindly-" "Tch, Getsuga-" Letting loose my energy the same time the enemy did, both of our attacks met each other in a flurry of purple and black crescents- "DIE?!" "TENSHO!" The forthcoming release of energy was enough to send me flying back from the sheer pressure of it. And looking back, I couldn't actually believe that the attacks were in a stalemate!

I was wiping the floor with him before, and all of a sudden, he unleashes some DBZ shit to match my power?!

Come the fuck on!

"How the HELL is my attack not just swallowing yours up like a fat man does biscuits at Thanksgiving dinner?!" I yelled at the phantom as the attacks wavered before exploding and destroyed the building behind it(Oh god damn it, I forgot my one hundredth and twelfth birthday party- that was the one with the sexy ass strippers… I think!). "HAHAHA! Can't believe I didn't think of that before!" Out of the smoke the explosion made came a swirling frisbee!

Of death!

"Ah fuck me backwards with a side order of coleslaw." Quickly slashing upwards, I sent the butcher knife flying into the air, but as I did I noticed the cloth at the end of hilt that was leading all the way to the KKK pussy magnet that was now right in front of me- "This is gonna hurt." Bringing up my sword again, I was able to stop the downward stroke of his sword(Not that kind of stroke, you sickos… Or at least I hope it wasn't that kind of stroke from him-) when he had it come down on top of me(This is sickening to have to write for such a manly man like myself.), but couldn't avoid the slash at my chest that came after he grabbed the thing and took a swipe at me quicker than I could get my sword back down.

Luckily, he was still as weak as I had thought he was, so the cut was only enough to slash through my clothes and cause a few sparks to bounce off my chest(Which some say was chiseled by god himself- ego much? Yes, because I like my waffles.), but before he could do more, I kicked him down to the ruins of the skyscraper that was there before but was now not because of the attack clashes and got my wits about myself.

"You never really elaborated about that whole 'Didn't think about that before' thing- care to do so now before I get back to the ass kicking I was giving you?" Cracking my neck, I walked down to the level of the leveled(Ha! More puns!) building to talk to the Ich-fake, who was getting out of the rubble. "Pfffft- why would I tell you? So you can figure out a counter to it? I think I'll keep that little thing secret for me to know, and you to figure out once you're in a ditch somewhere, halfway down the river!" "Aw, don't be like that, Casper, you're supposed to be the friendly ghost- not the dick who everyone avoids for fear of aids." "HA! I'm about as friendly as a predatory crocodile!" "Yes, and about as dangerous as a family sitcom father." "Or as predatory as most of those sitcom fathers turn out to be!" "Oh please, like who?" "Well, there is Cosby-" "Well, I mean, yeah, but all he preys after is unsuspecting women who have next to no defense against drugs… Them and yellow pudding pops- but that's beside the point!" "No, the point is, you're too stupid to know why my attack was similarly powerful to yours when you clearly out power me- it's just my luck that you're even newer to Zanpakutō then even the King and don't realize all the differences knowing a few simple things can make!" His chortling was pissing me off(Cause it made him sound even douchier than me, and that was just unacceptable.), so I decided to knock him down a few notches.

"Yes, this might be my first Zanakutō, but it's not my first fucking attack, dumb ass,and I do believe you just reminded me of the name of my soon to be favorite one." Lifting up the already charged up sword, the Ichigo look-a-like started sweating. "SHIT! Bankai, Bankai, Bankai, Ban-" "Getsuga- Tensho!" Swinging down, the much larger energy attack(What do you know- I was right.) shot down to meet the Reiatsu and debris that came flying after the release of power from the opposing side, managing to hold it off for maybe a second and a half before it engulfed the entirety of the surroundings. "Damn weasel, got away. Now if I were a homicidal, disembodied spirit inside another's mind, where would I- oh who am I kidding?" Turning quickly, I slashed at- nothing?

"Too slow, Moe… Or whatever your name, is-" Turning again, my sword found air as a gash appeared on my back, tearing through my clothes as it was formed. "My shirt! This thing cost me one whole soul, asshole!" "It's not even your shirt!" "I know, it's why it only cost me one soul." "GAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!"

Troll level: Maximized.

"Alright, ass hat, let's dance!" Preparing myself this time, I knocked away a slash at my side and sent a punch that would have connected to his pale, ugly mug had he not ducked in time for it to only slice a few hairs off his white ass head. Not letting up, I kicked forward, but he used his sword to block it, but was sent flying back from it, allowing me to speed after him. But before I could swing my sword into his neck to decapitate him and get on with my oh so stelar life, he recovered mid-air and swiped his sword at my midsection, making me have to catch his sword in my hands or face the punishment of losing my only shirt!

"Damn it, kid, I just want to get on with my life, so stop-" I threw him and his sword up in the air and attempted to uppercut him as he fell down, but he just backed his head some and caught my arm in a two leg grip. "-Dodging-" Using my other hand with the sword in it, I stabbed it forward in hopes it would get him between the crotch(Because at this point, he deserves it-), but he just lifted me up and over his back, throwing me away before I could reach him. "-My-" Seeing him coming at me in an attempt to blind side me while I was flying upside down, I flipped upright and knocked his blade away with my arm and went for a haymaker soon after but he just backed away again to avoid it. "Attacks?" "I was going to say 'Punishment for you' to elongate the chapter some more, but you ruined that just now, so DIE." Lifting up my sword again, I started channeling Reiatsu again as Palchigo started cursing and doing the same. "Getsuga-" "-Tensho!" Throwing the attacks at the same time they collided in the air, struggling for dominance, with mine slowly pushing his back.

"Awww, we're already finishing each other's sentences!" Appearing behind him while he was still gathering and pushing Reiyroku into his attack, I grabbed the back of his head and forcibly threw him forward into our conjoined attacks, causing a massive explosion similar to that of a nuclear bomb, engulfing the entire city(Were there citizens in this mind city of mine? I sure hope not, as I don't think my brain capacity could take more abuse from this fight-).

Waving some dust from my eyes, I was rather(Unpleasantly-) surprised to see that the albino nuisance hadn't keeled over yet. Although his coat and bandages were just about destroyed, leaving him shirtless, and his body was bruised and bloodied(Especially around the face area- destroy the money maker? Check!), he was still breathing(Read: Panting.) and standing. "For the love of the Mexican named Jesoos- just die already! I'm slowly catching up with your Bankai driven speed, dealing out massive damage to you, and you can't even harm me unreleased! Even if you somehow pull out more DBZ shit from your ass, you won't stand a chance against me once I go full kick ass on yours!" The(What I am slowly beginning to think is mentally challenged-) albino Ichigo just panted some more, smirking. "You… Haven't even begun… to see what I can DO!" Growling, the guy whiter than even Betty Crocker started to gather Reishi into his body, making it glow red as everything started to shake.

"Man, why can nobody just ever die- back in my day, when someone told you to die after they kicked your ass, you just asked where they wanted your body so they could do it themselves." I muttered to myself as the wind started picking up and swirled around my opponent(Who was still growling like a chimpanzee trying to throw poo at an innocent bystander at the zoo-)."Wait a second… Why does this spirit energy have such a familiar tint to it?" Narrowing my eyes, I tried to recall where I had felt this energy before, but didn't have much time before the guy with an ass paler than a baby's ass yelled and exploded in a fit of power, causing red Reiatsu to fly everywhere, throwing even me back a bit from the exertion.

"Now hold on just a bleedin' secon' 'ere-" I pointed into the smoke as I finally realized what it was that was so familiar about him. "How the hell are you-" "A Hollow? Well, that's a very interesting story, actually." He chuckled, his voice sounding deeper from before as the smoke finally cleared, giving me a clear view this time of his transformation.

"Wait, you're a Hollow?!" "Yes… I thought you figured that out already, though, from the Reiatsu I was emitting-" "What? Hell no! This is all news to me right now!" "Then- what the hell were you about to ask 5 seconds ago?!" "I was going to ask if you were somehow related to someone I know, before you rudely interrupted me!" "Why would you ask such a stupid question you already know the answer to?!" "Because you really look like someone I know… Like, identical-twin in appearance, it's so uncanny- you sure you're not related to anyone named Zangetsu?" "What kind of retarded question is that? My name is Zangetsu- no one else like me! And if there is, me and him are gonna have a little chat!"

Hm.

To throw under the bus, or throw under the train.

Decisions, decisions…

"Meh, not like it matters- you're not getting out anytime soon anyway." I told him as I pointed my sword at him, causing him to sneer. "Please! As if you had a say-so in the matter!" "Well now that I know for a fact you have Hollow powers." I slid into a ready stance as I'm sure my eyes glinted with mal-intent. "My say-so is you getting trapped here for however long I want so that I can use you for some much needed Hollow boosting." "Well it sucks for you that your say-so is getting vetoed in favor of me getting revenge and freedom!" He roared, causing windows to shatter across what little buildings were left. "Speaking of, do you know if these things have any representation as a part of my mind, because with these things destruction, I'm growing concerned about my already poor mental prowess-" I didn't get to finish before the walking tank of Hollow Reiatsu slammed into me, sending both of us on a collision course with whatever was behind me.

"Bad-ghost! Down! Heel!" I started to elbow him in his head(Which was currently headbutting my stomach-), but the skull seemed too thick for me to do more than crack it a bit with each hit, but those same cracks easily healed before I could make them bigger, and soon enough I was slammed into a building.

"Ooooooow- ah shit, I forget what the capital of Japan is now." "CERO!" "No, that's not-" Shaking my head of the cobwebs, I looked back up to see a giant red sphere explode outwards about 4 feet from my face, engulfing me and half the mostly destroyed building in it's Reishi, causing it to finally give in and collapse to the ground, dust and ash flying everywhere because of it.

"Bwahaha! Can't take a bit of Hollow power to the face, EH?! You Shinigami are all pathetic- can't believe the King gave up his own life just to continue being one and saving more of the pathetic things!" "You made one grave mistake, buddy." "Oh come on- why do you have to be as annoying to kill as me?" As soon as the dust cleared, his eyes widened at what he saw. "What the-" "I wasn't a Shinigami first, beyatch!" Quickly eating the rest of the Hollow Reishi lingering in the air like it was my first meal in ages(Which, given everything that's happened so far, wasn't very much of a stretch-), my eyes glowed a faint red before I let lose his same attack back at him.

"Snickerdoodles."

Unlike his attack that tore right through the building(And subsequently, myself.), my attack exploded as soon as it hit the idiot head on(Applied directly to the bitches forehead!). Not giving him any recovery time, I grabbed onto his stupid white mane of hair and brought it forward before he could be sent flying back, headbutting him hard enough to chip off a piece of his skull. Not finished, I punched him in the gut, him kneeling over my fist before I pushed his head down into my knee, breaking off more of his skull, as I grabbed his horns in a full nelson, before falling back, rapidly dropping to the floor with the flailing Hollow, Spirit… thing, being a prime time passenger.

"All aboard the seismic PILE DRIVER!" Twisting mid-air, I took his knees in my hands as my legs pinned his arms above him, being one of the first things to hit the ground with a massive BOOM!

Getting up from where I had slammed the dick in the ground, I patted down my pants and shirt(Coat- thing?) as I made my way towards the center of the newly refurbished crater in the ground, picking up a certain skull after I did so.

"Oh, Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo? For-" "Wrong… Play, asshole… Ugh-" "Yeah, it's also the worst one too; I just said it to piss you off." I told the skull as I dropped it(And with it, the body attached-) to the ground. "Already at… Maximum, rage, capacity… Insert quarters for… Further collect calls." "If by quarters you mean a stick, and by collect calls you mean your ass, then that is plenty doable." I stepped down on the back of his head, shoving it further into the ground as he finally gave out a yell of rage. "THAT'S IT! I CAN'T TAKE ANYMORE- YOU ARE-" Slapping away my leg from his head, he lifted his head up from the ground enough to turn and point his horns(And a Cero already charged up-) at me. "DEA- Gah!" I already got bored of what he was saying, so before he even slapped my leg away, I drew my sword, and as soon as a horn came into my view, I chopped off the tip.

"N-No, wha- how?" He seemed absolutely flabbergasted as his exo-skeleton fell apart, horns crumbling into dust as he fell to his hands and knees, changed back into his regular appearance, only shirtless and with tattered pants and slightly longer hair. "Holy crap, you two really could be identical twins with that very same weakness!" I laughed as my leg snapped back and slammed forward, hitting his cheek as he was sent flying. "And also because the fact neither of you seem to actually listen to me-" I appeared under where he was currently flying, running backwards as I kept up with his floating body. "Though at least you have an excuse- we just met, and you apparently hate my guts for some reason that is still unclear to me, but still!" I backflipped mid-run and started to run on my arms as my legs bucked the still shocked not-so-friendly-ghost higher into the air. "That's an excuse not to listen to me- the other Zangetsu has no such excuse, he just does whatever the hell he pleases." I snorted as I met up with him again at the high rise of his ascent, and grabbed him in a headlock, choking him as he started to hack and claw at my arm. "I know right?! Thinks he's all high and mighty to the point where he can just boss others around and ignore what they say- but nuts to him, am I right? Of course I'm right!" Using my still unoccupied arm, I snapped my fingers, causing all the debris, dust, ash, and Reishi in the air to coalesce together around us and the city perimeter, slowly forming back into the same buildings that were once there, and back in the same pristine condition as if the whole fight in the expanse hadn't happened. "Wish you could have seen him, I'm sure you two would have butted heads on just about everything, even if you had the same interests in mind- ah, I would pay to see that." I sighed as two massive twin towers that definitely weren't here before rose up on both sides of us, quickly growing to overshadow both of us, even though we were still easily 50 some feet up in the air. "But hey, maybe you will be able to meet him! Albeit, trapped here, in my mind, powers forcibly ripped out of you for my own gain so that none of my pals back home notice anything ary… Where was I going with this?" I muttered to myself as out of each of the stories windows of both towers, massive black chains of Reishi broke through and honed in on our position, soon latching onto the(Now blue faced-) pale Hollow as I let go so the chains could do their work. "I digress, though. It is thanks to you I found a solution to my little problem far sooner than I had anticipated I would find it, and thus allowing me to enter back into my dimension so much faster as well! And for that, I am truly thankful." "Mmmm, mph! Nnnnmnm, ghhrum?!" I paused to look at the bound and gagged pale being in front of me.

"Not enough to let you go though, no." "Dnm." "Yep. Sucks for you. But probably still nowhere near as much as this will-" With that said, I shoved my fist in an opening in the chains, entering the now screaming Spirit's body. "MMMMMMMMMM! MM, NM, NMNMN!" "Oh boy, from the way he's screaming, I'm lead to believe I found the G-Spot! Now-" I dug my hand deeper, causing him to let out another muffled scream. "Let's see if I can make you squeal!"

"Oh, come one! Who do I have to kill around here to get an otherworldly type of demonic power that in the wrong hands, could spell disaster for the entirety of the afterlife- that question was rhetorical if you didn't realize, I already know the answer is you." I told the gagged half-Hollow-half-Sword hybrid after hours of digging around in his(It's?) body as I continued rooting around in it with both of my hands. "But I have to hand it to ya, you sure have guts, going this long without breaking! I wouldn't be able to stomach this kind of torture for long! Makes me feel all hollow inside, HAHAHA- okay, seriously? You're still not talking? Most people crack by the fifteenth time I repeat the same three puns over and over again." Pulling out my hands, I backed away a few steps. "Oh. He passed out… That would explain why he stopped groaning in misery a while ago." Wiping my hands off on my pants(Wonder how you get blood stains out of your black trousers- with Bleach of course!... Okay, even I want to punch myself for that last one.), I looked back up to the bound and gagged Spirit. "Okay, he's taken care of, but now I need to figure out how to take that power, and also find those ass hat voices in my head and figure out if this was the only extent of the damage." Tilting my head to the side to look behind the bound idiot, I hummed as I withheld the new renovated city that was built during our tussle. "Ah, fuck it- if I somehow managed to recreate this danky thing, then I can summon those two morons." Snapping my fingers, I waited.

"... Maybe it would help if I actually thought about bringing them here, and not just snap my fingers." Snapping my fingers again(This time with the EXPRESS purpose of summoning the insufferable Spirits-), I waited some more; this time, it yielded results though. "About TIME! I was wondering when you'd finally check up on- UUUUUUUUUUUUUUS!" The(Without a doubt-) more annoying of the Spirits yelped as they both were summoned next to me, bound together at the waist with their hands and feet tied up as well.

Hundreds of feet in the air.

With the gravity on.

Ain't I a stinker?

"So, how's life for you two?" I asked as I followed their descent to the ground. "Oh, you know, not bad, I was actually thinking about getting a face lift s-" "GOD DAMN IT, YOU MOTHER FUCKER, STOP US FROM FALLING ALREADY, OR SO HELP ME-" "You want me to not only stop your fall, but also HELP you afterwards too, WITHOUT even giving me something in return? Wow, someone is just full on greedy!" "Wha- THE HELL ARE YOU ON ABOUT?!" "You know- you scratch my back, I make sure you HAVE a back to scratch?" "YOU LITTLE SHIT, STOP THIS NOW OR-" "Oh relax, kid. If you haven't noticed, we're kind of CORPOREAL BEINGS- he can't touch us or harm us with the environment, that's not how things work." Telling me how things work in MY mind?

Someone is just LOOKING for the hurt!

"Yes, I suppose that would be true... " I said casually as I reached out lightly flicked a finger on the other male in this rag tag group's arm.

Only for him to howl and violently recoil from me as he frantically grabbed the spot where I touched him, looking like he just had it ripped from his body instead of just lightly flicked. "... If it weren't MY mind we were held within; and this time, I don't have three misfits fucking with my head to make sure I can't control what goes on in it properly." "Sweet Jesus biscuits, GIVE HIM WHAT HE WANTS!" "Mexican pastries won't save you here! Only one person has what I want- what I NEED, and she is currently refusing to give it while plummeting to her doom- no, that's not quite right; to her maiming, yeah, that's better." Looking down, I whistled. "Eh, better hurry up with the decision here, darling, we only have about 100 yards left before you reach the end of your trail… Fall, whatever." "Over, my, dead, BODY!" "You know what?" Leaning forward in the air, I grabbed her head(Which she was refusing to turn in my direction before-) and held it directly in front of me. "I do believe that can be arranged."

Especially when the ground was only about 50 feet away now-

"WAIT, HOLD UP! Show won't give you what you want, but, uh, I can give you what you want!" Now that caught my interest, as they both stopped falling, only multiple feet left until they both would have become corporeal pancakes. "Go on… Also, just because we're only maybe 7 feet from the ground, doesn't mean I can't make you feel like it was 7,000." Seeing both of them gulp, I thought the threat got across well enough. "W-What if I told you, I know EXACTLY what you were thinking right now, and that I could give it to you?" "I'd ask how you knew I was thinking about funnel cake, and how you could give me it in my mind." "... Anyway, I can give you what you want FROM THE THING UP THERE!" He yelled before I could interrupt.

Jack wagon.

"So, you're saying, you know how to get pretty boy's powers out… Hm?" "Er, yes! That is exactly what I am saying!" "Prove it." He froze(Well, more than he really was at least.) at that. "E-Eh?" "You think I'm DAFT Esin? Prove you can give me what I want, or I'll be sure one of our oh so joyful trips we'll take will be one to Davey Jones locker, thousands of feet below sea level!" "P-Pr-Prove i-it? O-Of course! B-But, uh, you'll kind of have to… You know." He shrugged at things tieing his body up as I rolled my eyes and snapped my fingers again, letting him loose(But making sure PMS incarnate was still tied up worse than a BDSM's fantasy wonderland-). "I'm warning you now, Esin-" I hissed as I grabbed him and Shunpoed back up to where the pale freak was limply hanging. "-I haven't had anything to eat or drink for what seems like WEEKS, not a wink of sleep in the same span of time as well, and I've gotten my ass kicked from here to Albercercy and back more times than my pea brain can count, and I am NOT! In the mood for FAILURE!" With that last shout, I shoved him towards the bound being and told him to hurry.

He stumbled a bit in the air(Not sure what you can trip on in the air, except maybe literal AIR-), before he readjusted and slowly walked the rest of the way to the unconscious body. He seemed to look over it for a couple seconds, before sighing and muttering what distinctly seemed like an apology, before plunging his own hand into the kid's chest cavity, causing him to regain awareness, and to also start howling as his Reiryoku started to pour out of his body, forcefully taking residence inside a now grimacing Esin as he retracted his hand and the energy stopped going away from the poor Hollow… Thing- and he painstakingly walked over to me, palm full of the things black essence(Could I have worded that better? Yes, but dirty humor is the only kind of humor, so roll with it.) as he started to explain how this would work. "Alright, holding onto this crap is starting to burn, so listen close, because I'll only be able to explain it once- this here, is Reishi, pulled from the Hollow like entity's Reiryoku. Because he appears to Hollow in nature, as you've seen, this Reishi is of the darker, Hollow variety; all YOU have to do, is absorb it into yourself, and, you will become, what I believe the technical term is, a 'Vizard'. This means you're main power will still be that of a Shinigami, HOWEVER, you will also be able to call upon a mask, which, for as long as it is applied, will give you some semblance of a Hollow's power. While you gain the Reiryoku of a Hollow, it will still be… Let's say, distilled version of your old Hollow powers- you won't be able to access your Resurreccion, you won't be able to use most, if not any, of your old techniques that weren't readily available to all Hollows, and you certainly won't have as much power as you used to have; you will, however, will still have access to the powers all Hollows instinctively have, such as the Cero, Garganta, and even things like Pesquisa. You will also, while holding or wearing the mask, have the distinct feel of a Hollow- if not heavily tainted by Shinigami Reiryoku and shit like that, but with your experience, I believe as long as you aren't in the direct vicinity of any true sensory type people for too long, you can easily come across as any other regular Hollow. Now, I will have to stab you- in the chest for this to work, and once I do, there will no doubt be some sort of Reiatsu outburst that will try and leave your body as the transfer of power happens, so I will have you awaken a few scant seconds before that can occur, so you can keep the outburst to a minimum, if not outright snuff it out like Daddy's confidence in his perfect 'Flower' being pure goes out once his daughter's eighteenth birthday rolls around and he finds out about her black boyfriend- got it?"

"... Sssssssssssure-" "Great, then here goes!" With that, he plunged his hand into my chest, letting out all his essence into me as I gasped(I make it too easy to set up for myself like this-) and the world slowly faded out.

"I'm not ready to pop my cherry, Tim!" I sprung up from my laying position in a panic, only to find myself not at my old college frat(Thank god- Tim wouldn't take no for an answer!), but in a room in what I could only assume was the medical ward, laying on a bed with bandages all over my body.

And a sudden memory of what I was supposed to be doing in the few seconds I had just wasted on old memories(Ones I regrettably wished I hadn't brought back to the surface-).

"Shit!" Right before the burst set off, however, I was able to withdraw all Reishi flowing out of my body and kept a tight hold on the leash as copious amounts of new Reiryoku flooded my veins and attempted to all let loose more than a fat man getting rid of his girdle at a steakhouse to finish off his 72 ounce steak.

"Ugh, I feel worse than the fat kid from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory did after he nearly exploded from chocolate overload." I groaned as the room started to become cramped with the amount of Reiatsu that was flowing out of me.

Luckily I was still able to contain the mass majority of the energy output so none of it actually left the room, but, well-

"Really hope nobody walks in on this." I grunted as I slowly made it out of the bed, standing stiff as I felt the need to hurl."Oh dear god, it IS college all over again-" I covered my mouth as something tried to escape it, but the hand soon had to make way as the substance forcefully pushed it out of the way to escape.

"What the- oh god damn it, I thought I wouldn't ever have to do this again." I complained as the white liquid concrete(Or whatever the hell these things are made out of-) started to spread across my face, with more of the damn stuff leaking out of the other orifices of my face. "I-regret-everything!" Soon the mask had formed across my face, with the extra details to make it 'Unique and Exotic'(Seriously, some of this Hollow biology shit could so absolutely gay-) amongst every other Hollow mask to differentiate between the masks currently out there, which then solidified, and I couldn't stop the scream that escaped my throat as the last of the Reiryoku managed to get loose from my body, healing the rest of the wounds I had scattered across my body under the gauze and no doubt alerted the rest of the Seireitei to the foul energy that was coalescing in my room.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!" I panicked as I looked around the room, trying to figure out what I could do to make it not look like I was kind of freak against nature(Spirit nature…?), before finally just face palming myself for getting into this situation.

Hard.

"Blech, shouldn't have kept my mouth open!" I brushed the rest of the fragments from the mask off my face(While also picking off the ones on my tongue- huh. Tastes like burnt chicken wings.) and grabbed my sword. "This is gonna bite me in the ass soon, but I can't just let them see I somehow healed from these things overnight…" I glanced out the window to see that it was obviously late in the afternoon, with the sun still shining bright over the horizon. "Or for however long it was that I was out." I corrected myself as I stabbed myself in the stomach. "Oh dear god, they're still sore!" I groaned as I withdrew the blade, and slashed down the length of my arm. "Thank god my body has an eidetic memory when it comes to all the wounds that were inflicted upon it." I punched my left eye. "Even though this is one of the only real uses for this kind of thing- still wish it wasn't around after all those rounds with Ms. Beryl, my 6th grade teacher… I still shudder thinking about those claw marks." I cut from my chest down to my hips diagonally. "Then again, it also helped me realize the one time I wasn't actually having sex with her, but the P.E. teacher… Then again, with the way she was pounding against my hips enough to nearly shatter them, probably should have guessed something was up anyway." Last on the list, I lifted my left leg from the knee down over the bed, then proceeded to elbow it into the bed, not only breaking it, but also breaking the knee cap and no doubt shattering the ankle as it clattered against the floor, before throwing my sword across the room, sticking it in the wall

Just in time for the door to bust open and a few familiar faces to burst in as well.

"Geez, and here I was thinking the almighty SS was impenetrable from all kinds of attacks, when, surprise surprise, I get woken up by a beast with a hankering for strawberry jam, and decided to use my face as a substitute." I remarked dryly as I sat down on the floor, spitting onto the floor next to me(Was- Was that a tooth?). "Where did the Hollow go?" Soifon(In professional mode- though was she ever NOT in that mode?) asked me as Orihime, Sado, Ishida, and Kotetsu entered the room as well, the first two ending up running towards me to check the 'Wounds' I had garnered. "Somewhere in H-E-Double hockey sticks preferably, if not, hell if I know." I responded(Totally knowing the about the stupidity of spelling a word and then saying it again in the same sentence-), cricking my neck as Orihime started working her(Godly-) magical abilities to heal me back to full health. "Still nearly ate me, though, and I think I want to get the hell out of here as soon as possible so something like this doesn't happen again." I deadpanned as I stood back up, thanks to an offered hand from Sado, and made for the door.

Only to be stopped by the only(I say 'Only' ironically, considering I am now one of them-) Shinigami in the room.

"Yes, well, while that is fine and dandy, before you can leave the medical ward, you must be checked first by either Unohana-Taicho, or her Lieutenant first- and even after that, you have to get a consultation from the Sou-Taicho before you can leave for the land of the living." The midget Captain cut me off as I pouted and crossed my arms.

I can never do nothing!