A/N – Thanks for comments! – Guest –Jason is remembering Liz first, so of course he's into her. And he was into her more recently before he was shot and "killed". He helped rescue her from Ewan. Don't act like he hasn't cared about her for a long time when he has. Even after the Niz affair he reached out to her.

Rant – Liz isn't even seeing Jason romantically. I don't get why people just want her to make a choice like she's picking out an outfit. It's not being indecisive. She wants Jason to remember his life first. He's married (even though I know Sam's sleeping with Patrick). Of course this has thrown her and brought up feelings. She's being open and honest. It's not the same as the past where she ping ponged back and forth. You'd have to be seeing two people to do that and she's not. There is nothing wrong with her kissing Jake. He knows the score. I'm 6 chapters ahead, so you'll see more of where everyone's head is at as we go along. Also, Jason is not the same Jason he was before.

Chapter 8 – Catching Up

Sonny walked into Jason's room. "Hey,"

"Sonny."

"You remember me?"

"Yes, I mean somewhat." He hated that his memory was still sketchy.

He sat down. "I hear you're getting out of here today."

"They are releasing me in a few hours."

"Where are you going?"

"Carly stopped by and she told me about the penthouse. Sam isn't living there anymore, so I figured I'd go back there."

"Good. It will be just like old times."

"Sort of. There's a lot I don't remember yet."

Jason noticed that Sonny looked a little skittish.

"I missed you man. Everything went downhill after you left."

"Sonny, I'm not the same person that I was before I disappeared. I don't know if I can go back to the way it was or that I want to."

Sonny frowned. "Jason, you were good at your job and I need you to have my back. Things were better when you were around."

"I can't live my life just to please you. I don't think I'm going to be any different than I have been for the last few years. I might remember everything, but personality and memory are two different things."

"Well, why don't we cross that path when we get there? I have faith that you'll be fine once you remember. Besides, you can't leave the business. Once you're in, it's for life."

"Who made up that rule?"

Sonny shrugged. "It's just the way it is. You swore your loyalty."

Jason sighed. "Well, I take it back. If someone comes looking for me, I'll deal with them. You've lasted this long without me, I'm sure you can manage."

Sonny was trying to curb his anger. "Let's talk about this later."

Nikki walked into the room. They were releasing him and she was going to go with him to the penthouse and stay so he wouldn't be alone. "Am I interrupting?"

"Yes," Sonny said.

"No. Sonny was just leaving."

Sonny sighed and stood up. "Excuse me."

Nikki's eyebrows shot up. "That looked intense. I think him and Victor would be interesting bedfellows."

"They'd kill each other," Jason quipped.

Nikki smirked. "Patrick just signed off on you leaving."

"Great."

Sam walked in with Danny. "Hi."

Nikki looked at Sam and Danny and then turned to Jason. "Why don't I give you a few minutes?"

"I won't be long."

Sam walked towards the bed. "Danny, this is Jason."

The little boy smiled. "Daddy."

Sam grinned. "That's right. I show him your picture all the time."

"Where you been?"

"I was sick but I'm feeling better now."

Danny smiled shyly.

Jason wasn't sure what to do or say.

Sam cleared her throat. "I hear you're going back to the penthouse."

"Yeah."

"I redecorated. I put some of your things in storage. I believe Max and Milo are moving your pool table back in."

"Thanks."

"Look, I'll give you some time to heal and then maybe you and Danny could spend some time together."

"Okay."

"Say goodbye Danny."

Danny smiled. "Bye daddy."

"Bye."

Jason watched them leave with mixed emotions. He had a son. It made him feel good, but at the same time, why was it okay to have a child with Sam but not claim his child with Elizabeth. He just didn't get it. He was more conflicted than ever.

IiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIi

Jason walked into the penthouse. He had a few memories of it but it looked different now.

"This is nice," Nikki said breezing by him. "I'm going to go upstairs and get settled.

Max took her bag from her. "Allow me."

Nikki smiled. "Thank you."

Max came back down. "You get the first bedroom on the right. It's pink so I apologize ahead of time."

"I'm sure it will be fine."

"Thanks Max."

Max smiled. God it was good to see Jason again even if he didn't remember.

Jason sat down.

"How's your head?"

"I'm fine."

Nikki could tell he was shutting down. "I'm worried about you." It seemed like with every day that passed, Jason seemed to get quieter. She wasn't sure if he was always this closed off or if he was depressed.

"I'm okay. It's just a lot to handle that's all."

"How did you feel about Sam's visit today?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Jason, not talking about it won't make it go away."

"I know that," he said more harshly than he intended. "I'm sorry. I don't want to take it out on you."

"I understand. Why don't you lie down and relax and take a nap. I have a book I've been dying to get into."

"Okay."

He laid down and she covered him up and Jason closed his eyes. He was tired.

Nikki texted Elizabeth that they were at the penthouse and that Jason was napping.

IiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIi

The next few days, Jason's mood grew darker. The more that he remembered, the worse it got. Nikki wasn't sure what to do. It was time to go to the hospital and find out the results of the DNA test. So reluctantly, she left him alone. Robin had already called and told Jason that the results of his DNA test matched the fingerprints. He was definitely Jason Morgan.

IiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIi

Jake heard the words Monica spoke and he just sat there taking it in. He was Dylan McAvoy. He had a name and a family. It was kind of surreal.

Nikki smiled. "Welcome to the crazy family."

Jake made a face and everyone laughed. Liz squeezed his hand. She was happy for him. It had been hard on him not knowing who he was.

Paul gave him a half hug and Avery smiled and hugged him as well.

"It's hard getting used to your new face."

Jake's eyebrow shot up. "I'm not that offensive is it?"

She chuckled. "Not at all. It just will take some time to get use too."

"I understand."

Stitch shook his hand. "Welcome back Mac."

Jake smiled. "Thanks I think. What now?"

"Well, I have to go back to Genoa City soon. Hopefully, you can come and visit or we'll come here," Nikki said.

"Definitely. I plan on staying here, but I do want to get to know you."

Victoria walked in with Katie.

Stitch smiled. "Hey." He kissed her and Nikki took the baby from her.

"So, you are my brother."

Jake smiled. "That would be me."

"I'm Victoria and this is your niece Katie."

"She's adorable."

Victoria smiled. "I'm biased but totally agree. My brother Nikolas would have come but he's trying to rebuild his bar and he needed to be there." Nikolas had not taken the news well. He liked Dylan/Jason and it had taken long enough for them to iron it out and be friends. Now he had to start from scratch.

"Well, I'll look forward to meeting him."

"Elizabeth, maybe I could speak to you in private for a moment?" Nikki asked.

"Is Jason okay?"

"I'm afraid not. I think he's depressed."

Liz sighed. "I was afraid that was where he was headed."

"Maybe you can stop by and talk to him. When do you go into work tomorrow?"

"Not until the afternoon."

"I have a shopping date with Victoria at 10:00 A.M."

"I'll show up then."

Nikki smiled. "Good."

IiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIi

After everyone left, Jake pulled Elizabeth aside.

"I know I said I would be understanding about Jason, but I need to know something."

"What?"

"Are you going to date us both?"

She shrugged. "I honestly haven't thought that far ahead."

He wiped his mouth, regretting that they really hadn't defined their relationship. "I'm having a hard time wrapping my mind around you being with him intimately."

"Get your head out of the gutter Dylan."

He smirked. "Do I look like a Dylan to you?"

Liz grinned. "I don't know. It kind of suits you but if you don't like it, then keep going by Jake."

"You make everything sound so easy," he pulled her into him.

"It's as hard as you make it."

He hadn't decided what he wanted to be called yet, but figured the more memories he had, the more probable he'd accept the name change. "You're avoiding my question."

"I'm not going to lie. I've kissed Jason. I'm still wrapping my mind around the fact that he's alive and there is still no guarantee that he won't want Sam. I'm not trying to jerk you around. I've had enough of running back and forth between men. Once a decision is made, that's it but at this point, I don't even know if dating Jason is an option."

"I know. I just don't like the idea of anyone else touching you."

She touched his face. "If this is too hard….."

"No—no. I'll find a way to deal with it."

Liz didn't have any intention of getting really intimate with either one of them. "I better get back to work."

"Okay. Talk to you later."

She nodded and watched him walk away. Hopefully, more of Jason's memory was back and they'd know what direction they were all headed in.

IiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIi

The next day, Elizabeth got off the elevator at the Towers and Marco opened the door for her. There were no lights on and she saw a movement against the wall and realized it was Jason.

"Jason?"

"I've remembered so much. Some of it's really painful. The more I remember, the harder it is to live with myself."

She hated hearing him sound so depressed. "You're torturing yourself."

"I'm taking a hard look at my life and I don't like what I see."

"Jason, you can't take things out of context."

"Maybe you're better off without me. You deserve so much better."

"Stop this right now. You don't have the right to decide that. You made me happy Jason. When everything else in my life sucked you were there and you helped me survive."

"I'm a killer Elizabeth. I abandoned our son. And then there is Sam, how could you love me?"

She sat down on her knees and took his face in her hands. "We are all flawed Jason. You had a big heart. You cared about people and protected them. When my world was crashing down around me, you made me feel safe. Even when I turned you away or yelled at you—hell I've even pulled a gun on you, in the end you still were there for me. You have no idea how comforting that is because most of the time, no one did that for you. Everyone took and took and rarely ever gave. Let me be there for you as a friend. Let me help you pick up the pieces."

He pulled her into his arms and held on for dear life as Elizabeth spoke to him softly, soothing his inner demons. He needed her. She was the only thing keeping him sane.

IiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIi

A few hours later, she left and Carly knocked on the door. Jason let her in and they sat down.

"You look like shit."

"Thanks."

She frowned wondering what was going on with him. He looked like a mess and she was alarmed. "What's going on?"

"Nothing, I'm fine."

"You're not fine Jason."

Jason sighed. "Just having a hard time with the memories."

"Regrets?"

"Lots of them."

Carly understood. "I don't like you beating yourself up for things that you can't change."

"I don't know how I lived with myself."

"We all have memories like that. I might stuff them down and try to pretend they don't exist, but we've all done things that we're not proud of. If you don't find a way to forgive yourself and let it go, it will eat you alive."

"I failed Jake. I failed Elizabeth."

"Oh for Christ's sake. You didn't fail Elizabeth. You both created that mess with Jake. Do not take all of the blame for it."

"I'm not, but it doesn't change the fact that I walked away from my son."

"You can't change that but a little advice, don't do the same thing to Danny."

Jason nodded. "I know. I've been avoiding that whole situation. It's just, every time I look at Sam I see the pain on her face and I feel like shit."

"You always carried around way too much guilt where she is concerned. Speaking of Sam, do you remember her now?"

"I've have a lot of memories." He was still trying to fill in the blanks but he remembered marrying her and the horrible last year that revolved around Franco.

"Jason, do you hate yourself because of Sam?"

He nodded and Carly sat quietly for a minute, trying to figure out the right thing to say.

"I do believe that you loved her deeply. But, I don't think she made you as happy as you tried to let on. There were good and bad there just like every relationship you've had. She accepted you completely—your flaws, the lifestyle. I think you ate that up but at the same time, she wasn't the one you really wanted that from so it wasn't completely fulfilling."

Jason gave her a look.

"Yes, I'm talking about the Muffin. She's like your one that got away. I get that even though I'm not the biggest fan. I'm trying to be a good friend here."

Jason smirked.

"What? I know I suck sometimes. Maybe thinking you were dead and missing you so damn much snapped me out of some of my selfishness. You were always a good friend to me. I want to do the same for you."

"Thank you."

She snuggled against his arm. "I did miss you Jase. I don't want to see you so down and punishing yourself. I told Michael that you were back."

"How did he take that news?"

"Conflicted. He's a mess right now. He and Morgan are like you and AJ. It's like bad karma and history repeating itself."

"Why is he so screwed up?"

She blew out a breath. "Do you really want to know?"

"Of course I do."

"Well, AJ came back."

"What?"

"I know. Apparently, your mother saved him. Anyway, he came back and tried to make amends and got closer with Michael. He was even dating the Muffin."

Jason frowned. "What the hell?"

"I know. Elizabeth's self-esteem sucks by the way. I think she felt that he deserved a chance because she had screwed up so much. It ended badly. AJ and I slept together during one of their breaks."

"Sounds like she wasn't the only one who screwed up." Just when he didn't think Carly could shock him anymore, she sleeps with AJ again. Unbelievable.

She smacked his arm. "Tell me about it. Tracy took ELQ away from AJ with some stock maneuver and AJ lost it. He started drinking. Elizabeth broke it off. He confronted Connie Falconeri and choked her."

Jason was surprised. He figured that having Michael in his life might sooth some of AJ's demons.

"And then she was found dead in her office one day and AJ got blamed and was arrested. Jason, Sonny thought he killed her and he shot and killed him. Later, it came out that Sonny killed AJ and he went to jail, but he played the hero and they let him out."

"Damn." He couldn't believe so much drama had gone down. "So now Michael hates Sonny because he killed his father."

"Exactly. He hated me because I found out and kept it a secret."

Jason gave her a look and she grinned.

"Sorry but I even miss you looking at me like I'm crazy. Sonny had a baby with Ava Jerome by the way."

Jason frowned. He couldn't believe that Sonny of all people had another kid. Ava Jerome? Why did that sound familiar?

"That's a whole other story. She had been sleeping with Morgan."

"What the hell?"

"Freaking Cougar. Anyway, Michael had stolen Morgan's girl friend at one point and Morgan lost it and it ruined their relationship."

"So Morgan is a mess too."

"Yes. Both of my sons are complete train wrecks. Michael paid a judge off and got custody of the baby."

Jason pinched the bridge of his nose. "I think I liked it better when I was in the dark."

"I'm not going to ask you to try and fix them because it's not your responsibility."

Jason's mouth dropped open. "Who are you and what have you done with Carly?"

"Shut up. They need to work it out. But I'm sure they would love to see you."

"I'm not so sure. They aren't as enamored with me as you are."

"I missed talking to you like this. You get me Jason. Not many people do."

"I don't know what to do about Danny."

"Just spend some time with him and get to know him. It doesn't have to be a package deal, but Jason, you have to deal with your feelings for Sam. Just don't shut them down. You owe it to yourself to figure out who you really want to be with and you can't do that if you don't allow yourself to feel. I know you think that being with Sam was wrong, but I don't think you really felt that way when you were with her."

"I was hurting, so I pushed it aside."

"All I'm saying is to be honest about everything."

Jason looked at her warily. "Why do I feel like you're not telling me something?

She stood up and grabbed her purse. She was not ready to admit that she had a relationship with Franco. "I've told you enough for today. There is something else and I'll tell you soon. I promise."

He stood up and hugged her. "Thank you for listening."

"Thank you for trusting me." She kissed him on the cheek and left.