A stifled whimper stole through the night, and Ianto became aware that he was no longer asleep. The covers were halfway thrown off and tangled. Next to him, Jack let out another whimper, tossing and turning. Nightmare, then. "Jack," Ianto whispered. "Are you okay?" He touched Jack's arm gently.
Jack awoke with a start and a cry, pushing himself into a sitting position.
"It's okay, it was just a bad dream, you're not there anymore," Ianto comforted.
Jack focused on Ianto, groaned and let himself fall back down onto the bed. "Sorry."
"That's fine," Ianto let him know. "I understand, it's no bother." Jack reached for his hand, and Ianto pulled him close. Jack was shaking. "What was it?" he asked softly.
"The War."
"Which one?"
"The Great War. World War One," Jack clarified, snuggling up to Ianto, his trembling slowing. "The trenches on the Western Front. Being gassed. Warfare changed forever then, you know? There was new technology but still the old mentality of 'kill as many as possible in as short of time as possible' but with so many more ways to kill. And of course I was the only one of my friends to make it."
"I'm so sorry," was the only thing Ianto could think of to say.
"They called it the War to End All Wars," Jack went on. "That always made me so angry, but I couldn't say that it wasn't going to be true because everyone believed it. Everyone-" His voice broke. "Everyone believed it. And then it started all over again, only worse. And it's all still happening, and the fighting never ever stops, and I'm always going to be part of it because it's always going to be the one thing I can do, fight and die and kill. I already have more blood on my hands than almost any human in existence, Ianto, and I-" He stopped talking abruptly.
"Okay," Ianto murmured. "Just slow down. I've got you."
Jack sighed. "I know you have." He shivered. Ianto sat up to pull the covers back over them both. The warmth was appreciated by both of them. Jack buried his face in Ianto's shoulder. "Thank you."
"Anytime," Ianto whispered in response. "Don't worry about it. Any of it. Everything's going to be okay." He ran his fingers through Jack's hair slowly as the captain relaxed. Ianto found himself drifting off again. In that dark, half-awake state where a sort of simultaneous awareness and unawareness lurked, Ianto felt the sudden sensation of free-falling through space. His eyes snapped open with a slight jerk of his whole body and he reached out as if to catch himself.
"What's wrong?" Jack asked immediately, grabbing his hand.
Breathing shakily, Ianto shook his head. "Nothing. Just...ever been half asleep and just felt like you were falling?"
"Yes."
"That."
Jack slipped his arms underneath Ianto and tugged him so the younger man was lying mostly on top of him. The captain's hands were clasped tightly across Ianto's chest. "Caught you," he murmured. "You're not falling anymore."
"No, I'm not," agreed Ianto.
"You okay now?"
"Yeah, I'm fine." Ianto flipped over and kissed him softly. "Thanks."
"Anytime," Jack echoed. Ianto wriggled so that he wasn't quite on top of Jack anymore. As reassuring as it had been to have Jack "catch" him, it wasn't every comfortable.
"I don't think I'm going to fall asleep again," Ianto whispered.
"Me neither."
"Should we just get up?" suggested Ianto.
Jack pressed himself closer to Ianto. "Nah. Can't we just stay like this until morning?"
Ianto smiled, snuggling closer too. "That sounds perfect."
They were quiet and completely aware of every second that passed. The time before morning was a small eternity.
And I wish that they had eternity between tonight and tomorrow, too. Sigh...why do fictional characters always have to break my heart? Thanks for reading!
~Clare