"See, this is what happens when you insist on going Weevil hunting at eleven at night!" Ianto reprimanded.

Keeping one hand on the steering wheel, Jack made an annoyed gesture with the other. "I was bored and I couldn't sleep. You didn't have to come with me."

Ianto laughed angrily. "Oh, I certainly did."

"Well, anyway, we can't change that now-"

"We!" protested Ianto.

"All right, I can't change that now."

"No, nor can you change the fact that we drove two hours away for a Weevil sighting that turned out to be a stray dog, and then you took a wrong turn because, let me emphasize, you're overtired and it is nearly midnight," the young man continued. "And I'm becoming increasingly worried for our safety, because you are a terrible driver, and the later it gets, the more reckless you get."

Jack huffed. "You were the one who let me take the wrong turn."

Ianto widened his eyes in disbelief. "I'm sorry, would you like to say that again and have neither caffeinated coffee nor sex for a week?"

Wisely, Jack shut up. Well...for a minute, at least. "All I'm saying is, the sighting was of legitimate concern for us."

Ianto came back immediately with, "No, it wasn't, it was spotted by a drunk who claimed to have seen a, and I quote precisely, 'brown monster thing with tooths who ran really fast and it was tall'. And besides the frankly terrible and extremely irritating grammar which I hate to have to replicate for the sake of accuracy, that statement did not describe a Weevil in any accuracy. And I just said accuracy twice in one sentence," he added off-handedly. "That's a fir-"

"Tall! What kind of stray dog gets described as 'tall'?" Jack interrupted.

"Obviously, a large one seen by a drunk who can't even speak English properly, let alone accurately describe what he saw," retorted Ianto.

"Is his grammar really the issue here?"

"Not the main one, no."

"Then why do you keep going off at it?"

"Because it bothers me that people can live for years and years speaking English and they still don't know that the plural of 'tooth' is 'teeth' not 'tooths'."

"Well, English is a pretty difficult language," Jack remarked.

"That isn't the point!"

"Well, what is? Because you're not getting to it!" Jack snapped.

Ianto tried to calm down. "Jack, we're still over an hour from the Hub. Probably more. Personally, I don't want to be out on the roads this late at night, especially when we're obviously tired and definitely not when we're arguing. We don't know exactly where we are or how to get home, and I think it might be best if we stopped somewhere for the night."

Jack frowned. "Huh?"

"Just, pull over somewhere we can stay until morning," Ianto suggested reasonably. "Please, Jack."

"Fine," Jack conceded grudgingly. As soon as he could, he pulled the SUV over to an empty parking lot and switched on the perception filter that they hardly ever had cause to use. "And that way we won't get in trouble for 'overnight parking'."

"Wonderful," Ianto replied dryly. He kicked off his shoes and tucked his feet up onto the seat, leaning the side of his face against the window.

"Ianto…?" Jack started.

"What."

"Since we're here...and we're not going anywhere anytime soon…"

"No."

"But-"

"No."

"Please."

"No!"

"Aww."

"Still angry," Ianto reminded.

"Why are you still mad? I don't understand. I stopped the car, didn't I?"

"Three guesses."

"I'm sorry."

"What?" Ianto turned to face Jack. The captain was looking back with an expression that was a mix of contrition and victory.

"The problem was I didn't apologize, wasn't it? Well. I'm sorry I dragged you out in the middle of the night on a wild non-Weevil chase. I really am. Right first guess?"

"Apology accepted. And I'm sorry I snapped. Was more irritated at the man's grammar than his inaccuracy, anyway," Ianto explained. "Or than I was at you."

Jack smiled. "Apology accepted." He waited for a second. "Now-"

"No!" Ianto couldn't help laughing. "Jack. When I said we were tired and should stop for the night, I actually meant we need to sleep."

"Fine…" Jack sighed. He pressed a couple of buttons on the steering wheel, and suddenly the back of the front bench seat began to recline.

"Whoa. I did not know it did that," Ianto exclaimed, taken by surprise and leaning back with it.

"You drove it into the ocean a couple weeks ago, and you're surprised that the seats go back?" the captain said incredulously.

Ianto was already curling up tightly on the newly formed, completely horizontal bed. "Shut up," he murmured sleepily, but not without fondness.

"Mmkay." Jack, too, lay down. The surface was too small to stretch out on, and he was forced to curl up like Ianto. Hmm. This wasn't very comfortable. How did Ianto do it? Was he some sort of cat?

As if he had read his mind, Ianto whispered, "It helps if you're not lying on the side that your gun is strapped to."

"Oh," Jack said sheepishly. He pulled the gun out of its holster and placed it on the floor of the car, right underneath the steering wheel. That was a lot more comfortable. He reached for Ianto's hand, and the young man took it. "Can we at least…"

Ianto shifted towards him and closed Jack's mouth with a kiss. "That?" he breathed.

"Exactly." Jack put his arm underneath Ianto's shoulder, pulling him closer so he could tug the edge of his coat over the Welshman. "Bit of a blanket, at least. Warm enough?"

"Quite. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Ianto Jones."

Ianto soon fell asleep. Jack didn't. Instead, he waited until he was sure Ianto was sound asleep, put the back of his half of the seat back up, and drove them the hour it took to get back home. He carried the sleeping Ianto into the Hub, placed him gently onto their bed, and then climbed into bed himself after flinging his coat onto the back of his desk chair. He was tired, Ianto had been right. And the cool sheets felt so nice…

It took Ianto a minute to figure out what was bothering him when morning came and he awoke. After lying quite still for a little while, trying to remember the previous night through the haze of sleep, he sat bolt upright. "Jack, what the hell?!"

Jack gave a start, blinking awake. "Wha's goin' on?"

Ianto gave him a puzzled glare. "How'd we get here? We were in the SUV."

"You must've been dreaming," Jack muttered, closing his eyes again.

"Pretty sure I wasn't. Jack Harkness, did you carry me into the Hub like I was a child?" Ianto demanded.

"Absolutely not," Jack told him, a tiny, teasing smile creeping onto his face. "Where'd you get an idea like that?"

Ianto rolled his eyes, letting himself fall back down onto the bed. "Why am I not surprised that you didn't listen to me and didn't just stay there?"

"Because you know me far too well," Jack answered smoothly.

"You know what else I know?"

"What?"

"You left your revolver in the car."

"Oh...damn it. You're right."

"Of course I am."

"No, seriously, how'd you guess that?"

Ianto laughed. "Because you were carrying me."

"True enough. Ianto Jones, you are a right Sherlock Holmes when you want to be."

"Excuse me, I'm as brilliant as he is all of the time," Ianto retorted

"Of course you are."

"Are you just saying that to humour me?"

"Absolutely not." Jack kissed him quickly. But Ianto didn't let him pull away, not for a few minutes at least. "What was that for? I'm not complaining, but…"

"Not many people would do that. Drive their lover home, carry them inside. That's what that was for." Ianto kissed him again. "That was a good morning."

"Good morning."

"It ought to be...didn't you tell Gwen not to come in today?"

Jack grinned. "That's right...I did."

I hope you enjoyed this! Please excuse me while I go cry in a corner. 3 you all

~Clare