A/N: This is a longer one guys, and things are finally starting to happen! Let me know what you all think of this latest chapter, it was really fun to write this one! Enjoy and thanks for reading! :)

As the weeks passed by, tensions began to grow steadily higher between Serizawa and the other commanders. The aggressive and violent acts which Serizawa was known for did not cease, despite many discussions and warnings from the other leaders of the group. From what Keiko could discern, Kondo had even tried to have a heartfelt talk with Serizawa, a naive attempt at forcing the prideful man into submission. Keiko knew his type though, and she knew what his fate would be. His head was set to roll, she just did not know when it would happen.

Not to mention the illness Ryunosuke had mentioned to her before.

If the Shinsengumi did not take Serizawa's life, whatever illness he was hiding surely would. Without a doubt, Keiko knew that Serizawa's life would soon be coming to a violent and bitter end. And she was overcome with worry.

She really couldn't care less about Serizawa, from the first day they had met she hadn't liked him. He was loud, violent, impulsive, and selfish. However, he was the only thing standing between Ryunosuke and the rest of the Shinsengumi. If Serizawa were to perish, Ryunosuke would surely be disposed of shortly after. He simply knew too much, too many of the Shinsengumi's most guarded secrets had been lay bare in front of the young artist. He would be struck down, with no hope for a better future. Keiko had grown to care for the boy, as she had come to care for all of her comrades. She couldn't bare the thought of standing by as one of her friends were murdered by another of her friends. The idea was just too painful to think about.

Keiko pondered over the situation as she roamed the halls, not really paying direct attention to where she was headed. She had finished her duties for the day and had sought out some time to think after witnessing one particularly bitter argument between Serizawa and Hijikata. She hadn't even noticed when her feet brought her to Hijikata's doorstep, nor had she really thought about what she was doing when she tentatively knocked on the frame of the door.

After she had done so, she immediately regretted it. 'What am I doing here…' she thought idly to herself, about to turn away from the door. However, right before she had the chance to leave, Hijikata slid open his door, a tired look on his face. Keiko bit her lip, suddenly very nervous about asking Hijikata anything. She hadn't even realized she wanted to talk to him about everything until she had already walked right up to his door. Hijikata sighed and opened the door slightly wider, gesturing for her to enter. She did so without hesitation, wandering into the middle of the room to sit down. Hijikata moved to his desk, settling himself in to continue writing his documents.

"What's on your mind?" he asked nonchalantly. Keiko bit her lip, glancing to the side as she tried to find the correct words to say. "Well… It's about Serizawa-san…" She murmured, and she saw Hijikata's body go rigid at the commander's name. He sighed, setting his delicate-looking writing brush down gently. He turned to face Keiko properly before he spoke.

"Ayama, as I know you've already assumed by now, we plan to assassinate Serizawa." Hijikata spoke the words bluntly, his eyes burning with determination. Keiko nodded, waiting for him to continue. "Unfortunately, the bastard's actions reflect on not only himself, but the Shinsengumi as a whole. By extension, this reflects poorly on the Aizu domain, who support us. Kondo-san and I have received orders to eliminate Serizawa. I will tell you this, Ayama. Very few people know about this.." His gaze was like a fire burning into her skin as he stared at her, and Keiko did not miss the implications of what he was telling her. Keiko steeled herself, banishing all thoughts of Ryunosuke from her mind for the moment, before nodding to Hijikata.

"What are your orders, sir." Keiko stated, although it wasn't a question. Hijikata looked satisfied with her reaction, and continued.

"I am afraid that what I am about to ask of you, well… It will be a much more difficult task

for you than the assassination would be." Keiko raised a brow at this. More difficult than killing someone? She didn't understand what he meant. Hijikata sighed, an apologetic look passing over his face as he spoke. "I need you to distract Nagakura." He said bluntly.

Keiko looked stunned. She blinked a few times in confusion, before her face twisted into a confused grimace. "I… I don't understand." She stated. "Why would I need to distract Nagakura? Won't he be helping you?" Hijikata still looked quite apologetic, and Keiko absently noticed that she really wasn't used to seeing this expression on him. He sighed again, louder this time, before he offered her an explanation.

"Nagakura is too close to Serizawa. It's not that I don't trust him… I do, I know that he would go through with it with us. I just- I don't know." Hijikata brought his hands up to his temples, gently pressing his fingertips to them in frustration. Keiko nodded, a soft smile on her face.

"You don't want him to have to choose." She clarified for him. Hijikata nodded slightly before looking away from her. "You really are very motherly you know." Keiko laughed when Hijikata's head snapped back towards her, a scowl upon his face. However, he said nothing in return to her jesting, so she continued. "Hijikata-san, if I may?" She asked gently, and he nodded, looking at her with weary eyes.

"Do you not think it unfair to take that choice away from him?" She asked. Hijikata stared at her for a moment, taking notice of how her soft voice starkly contrasted her cold stare. By all counts, Keiko looked like she was genuinely concerned and was just being pleasant. Her voice was soft and gentle, her brows pulled together in concern. But her eyes betrayed her. Her eyes were cold. She was testing him, forcing him to say the thing he truly did not want to have to speak aloud.

"It is unfair." He said, pausing for a moment to stare into her frozen eyes. "But I can't take the chance that he will choose wrong." He said it bluntly, trying to imitate the woman's chilled nature. He tried his best to mask how much the truth hurt him. He wanted to be able to trust his comrades unconditionally, he wanted to be able to tell Nagakura and everyone else everything and work together. But the reality was that he couldn't, if he were to lead the Shinsengumi to greatness, he would have to become a devil. And devil's did not rely on blind faith, so he could not afford such luxuries either.

Keiko leaned back slightly, eyeing him as she did so. She looked out the window, staring at the moon, as she spoke gently in response.

"I understand, Hijikata-san. I will deal with him."

The plan was set for September 16, and everyone had their respective roles to play. Everyone, except for Shinpachi and Heisuke.

Saito and Keiko were to keep them busy at Shimabara, along with Ryunosuke, after the others had left. Keiko had begged Kondo, Sannan and Hijikata to allow Ryunosuke to live, to just let him stay as a page. She would force the boy if she had to, but she couldn't bare the thought of him being struck down just for simply being there. It was too unjust. Ultimately, Kondo had conceded to Keiko's insistent pleading, admitting to her that he also did not wish to see the boy killed. However, both Sannan and Hijikata were quick to remind Keiko that, should the boy witness the assassination, they would have no choice.

Dusk had set on the 16th of September, and everyone met up at the entrance to Shimabara. Keiko did her best to laugh and joke with the rest of them, but in her heart she felt heavy. Deceiving Shinpachi was going to be tough, not because she wasn't able to do it, but because it would be the most dishonourable thing she had ever done in her life. She considered him not just a comrade, but something a bit more affectionate, that she couldn't quite place a word on yet… And she knew he trusted her. She felt wrong doing this to him.

The night progressed smoothly, with everyone eating and drinking and having fun. Keiko sat next to Shinpachi, and despite herself she felt very nervous. She kept looking at him, seeing him smiling and laughing and having fun, currently having a drinking contest with Heisuke, and she felt nearly sick. She kept telling herself that she wasn't doing something wrong, that this needed to be done. It was better this way, that Shinpachi and Heisuke could just spend the night having fun. She told herself that she would do her best to keep them entertained and happy, and that was the only thing keeping the grimace threatening to break her perfect smile at bay. When Serizawa spoke up and offered Keiko a much-needed distraction, she sighed aloud in relief as she turned her head. She hoped that the two men to her left hadn't noticed her change in attitude.

"It's about time I headed back to our Headquarters." His voice was low, but everyone went silent as he spoke the words. Keiko stared at him, and she saw in his eyes that he knew exactly what was happening. He knew that the others had planned an assassination, he knew that tonight he would most likely meet his end. Yet, he was calm, and moreover, he was going along with their plans. Keiko stared at him for a moment, and she could see the sickness upon his face and the tiredness in his eyes, and she gave him a knowing look of respect as she nodded in response to his words. She turned back to her cup of sake as others began to follow him in standing to leave.

Ryunosuke moved to stand as the others were leaving, but was stopped quickly by Serizawa. "You can stay." He said, his tone laced with finality. Keiko looked over her cup of sake at the young boy, a pleasant smile upon her lips. "You heard him, Ryu. Party isn't over yet." She joked and sent him a light-hearted wink. He seemed awestruck and confused, but agreed nonetheless. Keiko turned her head to Serizawa and the two stared at eachother for a moment in silent communication. She thanked him, from the bottom of her heart, and he seemed thankful as well. She thought then, that despite his aggressive tendencies, perhaps he did care about Ryunosuke.

Serizawa left then, followed closely by Hijikata, Sannan, and Okita. Keiko turned to the men at her side and smiled, forcing herself to shut down her doubts. She smiled, and it felt almost sinister to her when she did it, and raised her sake cup to cheers with Shinpachi. She downed the cup and looked over to Saito, who was calmly drinking his own sake next to Ryunosuke.

"Heeeyy~ Ayama-san, it's nice that you got to come out tonight too!" Heisuke suddenly spoke, turning to Keiko with a large grin on his face. Keiko smiled back pleasantly, nodding her agreeance. Shinpachi laughed out and offered her his own grin, and she had to steel herself so as not to lose her composure. "Yeah, you never get to go out and do fun stuff like this!" He nearly shouted in his excitement, and Keiko forced a calmness about herself as she turned away, closing her eyes as she brought her sake cup to her lips once more.

"Did it ever occur to either of you that I'm never invited out?" She asked, a sly smile playing on her face. Shinpachi's grin dropped instantly, a worried look crossing his face.

"Wait… you mean… You're allowed to go out?" He asked, and Heisuke's hand shot up to his mouth, desperately trying to conceal his mirth. Keiko puffed out her cheeks in annoyance. "Why wouldn't I be allowed to go anywhere?" She shot back, and Shinpachi's worry only seemed to grow, as did Heisuke's amusement.

"You idiot!" Heisuke shouted, but was unable to elaborate as he had to stop himself from falling over in his fit of laughter. Shinpachi looked at him in horror, then at Ryunosuke as he heard him also chuckling. Even Saito and Kondo had looks of amusement on their faces. Shinpachi looked around desperately, he truly didn't realize that Keiko was allowed to leave the compound.

"I just- I thought-" He started and Keiko was swift to interrupt his attempt at an explanation.

"Because I am a lady I cannot leave the safety of our home?" She accused, struggling to maintain her look of distaste. Truthfully, she also found Shinpachi's desperation and wrongful assumptions to be quite funny. However, she was taken aback when Shinpachi's worry was replaced with a warm smile and he took her hand gently. She froze, her eyes darting from his face to his hand, wrapped gently around hers, but she couldn't bring herself to move.

"I'm sorry." He said softly. Keiko urgently looked to Heisuke, only to find that he was now talking animatedly with Ryunosuke and Saito, and when she desperately looked to Kondo for help, he was engulfed in his meal and actively looking away from her and Shinpachi. She turned her attention back to the man in front of her, trying to suppress the guilt and nerves growing in her stomach. The warm smile hadn't left his features as he spoke next. "I know you're strong but I can't help it." He was almost whispering, and it suddenly occurred to Keiko that he had moved slightly closer to her.

Everything in her body was screaming at her to pull away and to leave the room, leave the building, and run away. This was too intimate, too close. He inched closer again, and she snapped. She wrenched her hand away from his and leaned back slightly. She looked up at him to see him looking down and away from her, a pained look in his eyes, and she instantly regretted dismissing him.

"I think I'm going to head back." He said sadly. Keiko's eyes widened, the assassination filling her thoughts, and without thinking she had grabbed onto his wrist. "Wait!" She blurted, desperate to keep him away from the compound. Her mind racing, she suddenly stood up, forcing him up with her. "Let's, uhm, let's go outside for a minute." She said quietly, sending an urgent look towards Saito in hopes that he would be able to keep the other two busy in her absence. She hastily led Shinpachi out towards the balcony.

Once outside, she let go of his wrist and leaned against the railing, looking out at the bustling streets below them. She felt Shinpachi standing next to her, but she couldn't think of something to say yet. She opened her mouth, hoping the words would come, but she found herself to be tongue-tied.

"I guess I embarrassed you in there." Shinpachi suddenly murmured, leaning on the railing beside her. She looked over at him, and was taken aback by the look on his face. He looked defeated, like he had been in battle for days and was at the end of his strength. He chuckled, but the sad look in his eyes didn't leave, and Keiko felt her heart break at the sight. "I'm sorry I keep pushing myself on you. I've never really been good at dealing with rejection." The last word seemed to catch in his throat. Keiko suddenly felt an urge to hug him, to give in to what he wanted and let herself love again. She knew that she shouldn't, it wasn't a good idea. Yet, she found herself wanting to. After a moment of deliberation, she opened her mouth to speak.

"I'm… I'm not sure exactly how to say this." She started. "It's- It's very difficult for me to trust people." She looked up at him to see him staring at her expectantly. She continued. "I was in love once, when I was much younger, and I- I did something very special for him, something which should only be done for the right person. I mean, I thought he was, but he wasn't, and I obviously didn't know that at the time-" Shinpachi suddenly grabbed Keiko's hand, which she noticed was shaking.

"Calm down." He instructed gently. Keiko took a deep breath, trying desperately to soothe her anxiety. After a moment she began again. "I'm trying to say I trusted him, and he betrayed me in the worst way." She felt tears forming behind her eyes, but forced them back. "It- It hurt. It hurt a lot Shinpachi." She felt something within her snap, and she started crying. She felt herself being pulled into a hug, Shinpachi's warmth enveloping her, and she gave in to it and sobbed.

She had forgotten what it was like to trust in someone, to share your pain with someone, to be comforted by someone. So many years of isolation had turned Keiko into this broken woman who found herself afraid of love and afraid of trusting in her friends. Feeling Shinpachi's arms around her, his hand gently rubbing her back, soothing away her tears, she realized how much she really craved it. She drew back from him slightly to look up at his face, but to her shock the defeated look hadn't left his eyes.

"I won't push you anymore then." He said and he smiled, but it wasn't his usual smile and somehow that hurt Keiko to see. His arms left her sides, the cold night air replacing Shinpachi's warmth. He turned to leave and Keiko found herself moving with thinking. She stood in front of him and looked up to see him staring down at her in surprise. She hesitated only for a moment.

A blush forcing itself across her face, she leaned up and gently pressed her lips to his.

She felt him go rigid as she kissed him, but he was quick to recover and wrap his arms protectively around her waist. He deepened the kiss, and she found herself feeling satisfied. She took hold of his vest, her fingers curling tightly around the fabric. She noticed that his lips were soft, and she could taste the bitterness of the sake he had been drinking. The two pulled away, catching their breath.

Shinpachi stared down at her, a look of bewilderment on his face. Keiko kept her grip on his vest, lowering her head to his chest so that she could hide her face.

"Please. Don't stop pushing me. I need it." She whispered, and he hugged her closer, his chin resting on her head. "I won't then." He responded, and she sighed in relief.

Suddenly they heard something crash inside the room, and heard Heisuke shout; "What exactly is going on?!" Keiko's head snapped up, her thoughts filling with the night's events. She had completely forgotten about the assassination, her thoughts and emotions had been consumed by Shinpachi. She mentally chastised herself for her lack of control, and before she could do anything to stop him, Shinpachi had rushed to grab her hand and pull her back into the room.

Heisuke was standing, his fists clenched, facing a formidable looking Saito. Keiko felt panic rise in her gut as Shinpachi spoke. "What is going on here?" He demanded. Heisuke turned his attention to his friend. "He won't let us leave." He said simply. Shinpachi looked at Saito, who was staring down the other two men with a glare nearly as frozen as her own, then looked at Kondo, who was sitting down, a solemn look on his face. She saw the realization dawn on Shinpachi's face.

"Does this mean… something is about to go down?" He asked, staring at Saito. He still hadn't released Keiko's hand from his grip, and she felt all of the night's guilt return full force as she stared at their intertwined fingers. She felt his grip tighten. "Are you going to… Kill Serizawa-san?!" He demanded. Keiko flinched at the words, vaguely hearing Ryunosuke say a shocked "What?".

Shinpachi turned to Keiko, eyeing the look on her face. She found herself unable to face him, until he suddenly pulled his hand away from hers. Her eyes shot to his and all she saw was betrayal. He turned away from her abruptly to look at Kondo. "Kondo-san, what the hell is this about?" He asked, his eyes wide. Kondo did not respond, only looking up at Shinpachi with sad eyes. "Were you ordered to do this?!" He pressed.

"If such were the case, what would you do?" Saito asked, his voice chilled.

"Does everyone else know about this?" Shinpachi retorted defiantly.

"No. Only a select few know." Saito answered. "The commander decided that it would be best if you did not bear witness." He said the words, and they were as insulting as Keiko had imagined they would be, with indifference. She winced as Shinpachi took a step forward, his frustration surging.

"What the hell! Don't give me that!" He shouted, and Keiko could see in his eyes that he was hurt, "So you couldn't tell me?!" He demanded, his fists clenched so hard his knuckles had gone white. Heisuke stepped in front of him, his hands out haphazardly. "Hey, wait a sec Shinpatsu-" Keiko cut him off when she suddenly noticed the blue-haired boy had turned to run.

"Ryu! Wait!" She shouted, bolting after him. Heisuke followed quickly after her, accompanied by Shinpachi.

Keiko and Heisuke caught up to Ryunosuke fairly quickly, both of them being far more fit than he was. Heisuke grabbed onto Ryunosuke's wrist. "Ryunosuke, you can't go back!" He pleaded.

"Why the hell do you have to kill that man?!" Ryunosuke demanded. Keiko took a step forward, her hand outstretched. "Serizawa-san is-"

"Stop Shinpachi!" The three turned as they heard Saito's desperate voice call out. Shinpachi was running towards them followed closely by Saito. "You are the one man I cannot allow to return to headquarters." Saito accused, and Keiko knew the insult would hit Shinpachi hard. Shinpachi turned on his heel, facing Saito head on. "Is it because I'm from the same school as Serizawa-san?" He demanded. "So you couldn't trust me?!" Keiko instantly stepped towards the brunette.

"It's not that Shinpa-"

"NO!" He shouted, his voice echoing through the streets. "I don't want to hear anything from you." His words were accusatory, and Keiko's heart broke. He didn't even turn to look at her.

"It's not that." Saito was as calm and collected as ever. "In order to continue fighting along your side as brothers-in-arms, it is imperative that I make sure you survive."

"Shut up!" Shinpachi shouted, his rage boiling over. He drew his sword, taking his battle stance to face Saito. Saito looked down, reaching to draw his own sword. "You leave me no choice." He said coldly.

Heisuke stood in front of Ryunosuke, shouting for his two comrades to quit fighting. From the corner of her eye, Keiko saw Ryunosuke turn on his heel to start running down an alleyway. She gasped, shouting out his name in desperation. Heisuke turned as well, and Keiko could see that he was overwhelmed.

"Heisuke, Ayama-san. If you do not want to let him die, stop him." Saito's words wrung through Keiko's head. With one final apologetic glance to Shinpachi, Keiko and Heisuke raced after Ryunosuke.