Hanging By A Moment
Hanging By A Moment
Paring: Callie/Arizona
Rating: M
Chapter 17:
It had been a couple weeks since Callie and Arizona had seen each other. Callie had tried to contact Arizona a couple of times but the blond was yet to answer her calls or return her texts. She desperately wanted to make things better between them but she needed to respect Arizona's wishes. Arizona asked for space so she was going to comply.
After work Callie met Addison for dinner. She felt more alone than ever in Miami. Her sister was still not talking to her, she couldn't stand to look at her mother's smug face whenever she asked about Arizona and then there was her dad… she loved him the most but he was constantly putting pressure on her. She needed to get away. New York was looking better and better with each passing day.
"How are you holding up?" Addison asked after they ordered the entrees.
"I don't know." Callie said. "Arizona is still not talking to me."
"I'm sorry." Addison said sincerely. "I know its been rough."
"I just- I wish she would just talk to me." Callie said. "I know I fucked up and she has a right to be pissed but I think this is a bit uncalled for. She could at least return some of my calls."
"You did fuck up." Addison said taking a sip of wine. "If it makes you feel any better, I don't think what you did was unforgivable. You slept with someone, so what? You guys weren't together when that happened."
"I know, but that's not how Arizona sees it." Callie said. "I understand why she's mad, I really do but it's been weeks. How much longer am I going to be in the dog house?"
"Maybe it's deeper than that…" Addison said. "Tim and I've talked about this. He hates you by the way. I personally think that Arizona is just disappointed and hurt."
"Yes, but I'm hurt too." Callie said.
"Its different, Callie." Addison said. "And you know it.
After having dinner with Callie, Addison headed towards the Robbins household. Her relationship with the handsome older brother was getting more serious. In the last few months they had been seeing each other quite frequently. She really admired his heart of gold and the way he didn't have any walls or pretentions. Tim was simply himself at all times. It was refreshing for a woman like Addison Forbes Montgomery. She was starting to develop real feelings for him but the fact that he was leaving in a few days really terrified her. Tim had invited her to a farewell party his parents were throwing for him, she was going to show up with a positive attitude and try to be as supportive as she could. She was putting her selfish tendencies aside, which was uncharted territory for her.
"You came!" Tim said when he saw Addison making her way through the backyard.
"Sorry I took so long." Addison said kissing him on the cheek. "I got wrapped up talking to Callie. She's…having a though time."
"So is my sister." Tim said. "And speaking of…let's not mention she who must not be named. Just the mention of the name brings Arizona down."
"Noted." Addison said. "Let's just focus on the man of the hour. How are you feeling?"
"Nervous. Excited." Tim said. "Anxious."
"You'll be fine." Addison said looking into his deep blue eyes. "Because you will be fine, right?"
"Its just boot camp, Addie." Tim said with a chuckle. "I'll be back in no time."
Arizona was trying to keep a good face. She was going to miss her brother. They've never been apart for more than a few days and now they were going to be apart for months. They were starting completely different lives, she didn't know how she was moving away and starting college in a new state without having him holding her hand and telling her that everything was going to be okay.
"Hey." Addison said taking a seat next to her.
"Hi." Arizona said not really in the mood to make conversation.
"I promised your brother I wasn't going to mention anything… and I might be overstepping" Addison said. "but I think you should try to give Callie another chance. She's not doing well and its obvious you're not doing so hot either."
"You're right." Arizona said making eye contact with Addison. "You are overstepping."
"You and I are not friends." Addison said. "We have absolutely nothing in common, but…we both love Callie. She really loves you, you know? You should talk to her, don't wait until is too late."
The bad part of having a party in your house is the clean up after its over. Arizona and her brother were finishing up after their parents went to sleep.
"This is nice." Tim said.
"Cleaning, really?" Arizona asked as she distractedly picked up empty plastic cup and threw in a trash bag.
"No, I mean us spending some time alone before things get crazy in a few days." Tim said.
"I guess." Arizona said with a shrug.
"I'm really going to miss you, Phoenix." Tim said with a charming smile.
"I'm going to miss you too, jerk." Arizona said with a laugh as she threw a dirty napkin his way.
"Are you nervous?" Tim asked.
"Shouldn't I be the one to ask you that question?" Arizona asked.
"Not really, I already know what I'm going to be up against." Tim said. "Being a Marine has been my dream since I can remember. You're going to be experiencing something completely new."
"Well I've wanted to be a doctor since I was a kid and I faked being sick just so I could go to the hospital with mom. I loved playing with all the medical supplies. Indiana is just the first step towards the bigger picture." Arizona said.
"Dr. Robbins." Tim said. "Has a nice ring to it."
"We're going to be fine, right?" Arizona asked.
"Yes." Tim said. "We're going to see each other as often as possible. You're going to tell me about college and all the hot girls there and I'm going to tell you about the Marines and all the hot girls there…"
"And you're going to call me?" Arizona asked. "Every day?"
"I promise." Tim said. "I'm going to call you every chance I get."
"You're going to be safe, and you're not going to play the hero." Arizona said her eyes watering at the thought of not being able to see her brother every day.
"I swear." Tim said. "Come here." Arizona made her way towards her brother when she was close enough to him; Tim engulfed her in a tight hug. "Everything is going to be fine. You just need to focus on being good at school. I love you, blondie."
"I love you too." Arizona said resting her head on her brother's shoulder and tightening her grip around his waist.
Late at night when Arizona was alone in her bedroom she thought about Addison's words. She missed Callie with every fiber of her body. Maybe it was time to be over being angry. She was still upset but that wasn't enough of a reason to not work things out with Callie. Relationships were rough and they had a problem communicating and now, she realized, trusting each other. Arizona truly believed that they could work it out.
"Can we talk?" Arizona typed and sent in a text message to Callie. She hoped she would still be awake at this hour.
"When?" Callie texted back a minute later.
"Now? Everyone is already asleep." Arizona wrote.
"I'm on my way." Callie replied a couple minutes later.
"This is not awkward." Callie said as she awkwardly moved around Arizona's bedroom.
"I'm sorry." Arizona blurted out. "I miss you."
"I miss you too." Callie replied with a sad smile.
"I'm sorry I didn't take any of your calls." Arizona said. "At first I was so, so angry but then I just didn't know what to say. We both made mistakes but I'm willing to move past it if you are. I love you so, so much, Calliope. I really don't want to imagine my life without you in it."
"I-" Callie wanted to say something but then regretted it. "Can we sit down?" She asked motioning to the bed.
"Sure." Arizona said. They both sat next to each other on the bed. Callie took Arizona's hand in hers; touching Callie's hands again made her feel sparks all over.
"Look, I don't even know where to start." Callie said. "You've meant more to be than anyone in my life right now. Knowing you and knowing how passionate you are about your future made me want to be more passionate about my future. I've made a lot of mistakes in my life, more than you know and now I have a chance to start over, to do something by myself."
"What are you trying to say?" Arizona asked.
"What I'm saying is that I took the job in New York late this afternoon." Callie said. "They couldn't keep waiting for an answer."
"That's great." Arizona said her eyes lighting up for Callie. "I'm really happy for you."
"I love you so much." Was all that Callie was able to say at the moment. "I love you. I really do."
"What's wrong?" Arizona said running her hand softly through Callie's face noticing the change in her demeanor.
"I selfishly want to be with you." Callie said. "I want to be the person you can't wait to tell them about your day."
"You can be that person." Arizona said. "I want you to be that person."
"But I can't, Arizona." Callie said. "You deserve much more. You deserve to take whatever this word has to offer. You deserve the chance to be selfish and focus on you and being the best doctor you could be. I can't be the thing that holds you back or stops you from taking an internship or a job in some place far away. You are so young, you haven't had the chance to fully become yourself."
"I want you to be there." Arizona said.
"I can't." Callie said. "You're going to be so amazing and I'm going to be so proud of you but you need to do that by yourself."
"Calliope…" Arizona said.
Callie took a second to really look at Arizona. She was so breathtaking and beautiful. Callie closed the space between them with a kiss Arizona quickly responded. Callie never wanted to break the moment; she never wanted to let go of Arizona. But she had to for both of their sake.
"I'm so in love with you." Callie said resting her forehead on Arizona's. "But we can't keep going."
"I love you so much." Arizona said.
"I know." Callie said holding Arizona close to her.