Chapter 4:
Company
There was quite the controversy between Quailstar's family and Duskpaw's family. Duskpaw, Moonpaw, and Nightpaw were all born on the same day as Quailstar's own kits, and the two queens were at odds with one another.
Quailstar's mate, Greenlily, was beautiful. Her ebony coat was glossy with the tendency to shimmer in the light and glint in the dark and her eyes were strikingly green that no other cat in all the territories could compete with. Her only physical fault was an unforgiving rip in one of her ears, nearly separating the piece of cartilage into two, but hardly anyone paid that any mind. However, her beauty and close relationship with Quailstar brought an air of expected arrogance and entitlement towards herself that brought out the worst in her, at times.
Cedardapple was younger. Her fur wasn't so much glossy, but rather lustrous with youth, its golden-brown base color and darker flecks drawing attention from all angles since she was a kit. Her coloring was intricate, she had white on her chest and paws and muzzle and her eyes were a kind blue that lead most to assume a certain, beautiful nature of her. She, in comparison to the black she-cat, had no physical flaws and soft but striking physical features. Cedardapple was far more slender than Greenlily, her paws smaller and her frame smaller in a way that, to most, made her more appealing.
But the thing was, Greenlily just had something that she didn't and Cedardapple knew it. It'd bothered her since she was even an apprentice and Greenlily had definitely noticed her envy and she reveled in it. Had Cedardapple been more discreet in her jealousy, the rivalry between them might not have sparked like it had.
But Cedardapple was anything but discreet. She made her disdain clear for Greenlily, though the rest of the clan seemed to keep their muzzles out of it. Briefly, there were sides, but by the time both were warriors, the sides dissolved and the pointless rivalry was forgotten by all except Greenlily and Cedardapple.
Then, both were queens at the same time. Rosewater was there, too, unintentionally acting as a buffer between the two, but her presence could only curb so much.
Kits became the next competition between the two. Who could produce the most, the most talented and the most beautiful? Both put a lot of thought into names, Duskpaw knew that much.
Quailstar was in the nursery a lot, talking names with an eager Greenlily while Cedardapple would pretend to listen to Rosewater's talk. She gathered inspiration from Greenlily's counseling with Quailstar and came up with a theme for the names she would use for her kits; sure, it might've conflicted with Greenlily's theme she'd set for her own young, but it wasn't Cedardapple's fault that she was so vocal about what names she'd use.
Cedardapple kitted before Greenlily, producing her two toms and single she-kit. She named her toms Nightkit and Duskkit. Those names weren't the problem, no fur was bristled and the clan still celebrated the arrival of Cedardapple's kits wholeheartedly. It was the she-kit's name that did it.
In spite of Greenlily and Quailstar, who'd more or less told the rest of the clan what their young would be called, Cedardapple called her only daughter Moonkit. Quailstar and Greenlily had vowed, if they had a she-kit, that she would be Moonkit and Cedardapple had the audacity to steal their name.
Cedardapple defended herself with the fact that Greenlily hadn't even kitted yet, that she might not have any daughters, and that she didn't own the name Moonkit. She haughtily told Greenlily that there could easily be two kittens called Moonkit at the same time.
Quailstar was furious, he tried to make Cedardapple change Moonkit's name, seeing the obvious and blatant disrespect the name of the youngest she-cat in ThunderClan represented. Cedardapple was setting Moonkit up for failure with this gesture, but she didn't care then, and Duskpaw suspected that she still didn't give it much thought presently. She was impulsive, especially when she had the chance to drag someone through the garlic patch.
Later that day, Greenlily had her litter: a tom and a she-kit. When Duskpaw heard the story from others, they would speak of a vicious umbrage in the eyes of the beautiful black she-cat when she formally announced the names of her young to curious visitors. She called the tom, a large brown tabby, Sunkit, and the she-kit, a pitifully small and shriveled-looking brown tabby who barely moved, Moonkit in spite of Cedardapple's choice of name for her own daughter.
During the first seven days of the kits' existence, Greenlily and Cedardapple purposely said the name of their daughter frequently and loudly, sneaking glares and silent snarls towards each other. The nursery was tense and any visits from the rest of the clan were often curtailed by the aggressive atmosphere the two she-cats provided.
By the end of those first few days, it was evident that Greenlily's Moonkit wasn't doing well. She hardly nursed, rarely made noise or squirmed around, and looked sickly. Brightfur had tried to help her, advising that Greenlily groom her more frequently to help her maintain temperature and treating her with herb, but it didn't do enough. Sunkit and Cedardapple's litter all looked healthy, but it was evident to all that Quailstar's daughter was moribund.
The little tabby died shortly after her first couple days of life, ending the uncomfortableness of having two cats with the same name in such close quarters. However, the she-kit's death caused a deep-seated hatred for Cedardapple in the heart of Greenlily, who saw her daughter's passing as a sign from StarClan: there could not be two cats with a shared name in the same clan. Since the small, frail kit was born after Cedardapple's litter, StarClan took Greenlily's daughter away and it was all the speckled queen's fault.
Quailstar, though devastated by the loss of Moonkit, had the civility to move forward, Duskpaw could see it in the way he treated him and his littermates. Even Cedardapple was treated as any other ThunderClan warrior was, despite what she'd done to disrespect him and Greenlily previously. For that, Duskpaw was grateful to work in such close quarters with Quailstar, to hear things from him meant specially for the ears of medicine cats exclusively. Duskpaw always saw Quailstar as something equivalent to a StarClan member in the flesh, someone celestial with an uncommon ability to look past great discretions with an air of grace and power, a trait he found was a rarity.
Being around a cat he so much admired was one of the largest reasons Duskpaw didn't ask to resign from the position of Brightfur's apprentice. With this position, Duskpaw would always be in Quailstar's inner circle. He'd know things that no one else in the clan knew just because he was medicine cat and Quailstar would value his opinion, possibly above any other clan member's; that in itself was invaluable to Duskpaw. As medicine cat, Duskpaw would be guaranteed power, he'd never have to fight for the position of deputy or have the pressures of being clan leader. Instead, he'd be the voice whispering in Quailstar's, and possibly even his successor's, ear, pushing certain actions and opinions onto him.
In theory, becoming Brightfur's apprentice was the smartest thing Duskpaw could've done with his life, but he still had constant doubts that made him contemplate the true value of his decision.
For one thing, Duskpaw was always stressed. From the beginning, Brightfur had told Duskpaw to look for omens from StarClan in everyday places: the lighting in the camp or in the forest; the strength and size of the little streams that carved through the territory; the physical state of the boarders; the abundance and condition of prey; the behavior of others; everything was supposed to indicate StarClan's voice in the eyes of a medicine cat and it was exhausting. Brightfur was always pointing things out to him that she assumed he would've noticed, growing somewhat tired when she realized her apprentice, yet again, missed or misinterpreted something.
Then there were the herbs. Brightfur had so many different herbs with all different uses and scents that grew in all sorts of locations and he was supposed to know all of them. Originally, Duskpaw figured the herbs would be the easy part. How hard could it possibly be for him to learn to tell them all apart? Duskpaw had been Brightfur's apprentice for four moons now and half of the time he couldn't tell coltsfoot flowers from marigold flowers. He could see the disappointment etched behind the bright glimmers of faith in her eyes, trying to shield him from her worries about his abilities.
Relationships with the clan were entirely different from the rest of the clan, as well. Duskpaw felt as though he was estranged from his clanmates, like Quailstar and Brightfur were the only cats he could go to. Even then, Quailstar was busy with leading ThunderClan and maintaining clan relations and the only free time he had was dedicated mostly towards Sunpaw, his pride and joy. In reality, Duskpaw only had Brightfur and when he thought about it too much, that greatly upset him.
He wondered sometimes how Brightfur must've been before he became her apprentice, if she was lonely all the time. Perhaps she was, but for her the tradeoff between a lack of social interaction and the job of playing seer and healer for the clan was likely great enough to ward off the stinging consequences of loneliness. Duskpaw wondered if, even if he got good at being Brightfur's apprentice, that tradeoff would ever be enough.
"Duskpaw!" Brightfur called, tearing him from his thoughts, "We're almost out of feverfew and poppy seeds, don't let me forget!"
Duskpaw blinked, his pelt flushing with embarrassment when he realized Brightfur's sudden holler made his fur fluff out in alarm. He glanced at Quailstar, hoping he didn't notice, sighing in relief when he saw all his attention focused on Sunpaw, who was speaking hurriedly to him.
"Duskpaw!" She snapped again, "Are you listening? Get inside and lend me a paw!"
Though Brightfur couldn't see him, Duskpaw's tail flicked in acknowledgement before he spoke. "Yes, I heard you," He mumbled, half-heartedly getting to his paws and wandering into his and Brightfur's den.
Duskpaw had been dreading this since the previous night. He'd done his best to avoid going in there with Brightfur and… her. Duskpaw didn't so much mind Meadowpaw, he hardly knew her. It was the fact that she had that head-shake the night before and could be contagious.
In a way, Duskpaw felt selfish for not wanting to help Meadowpaw in fear of becoming ill himself, but what cat wouldn't try to avoid getting whatever horrible thing she had? And now Duskpaw wasn't so sure if he wanted to be around Brightfur, who'd been with Meadowpaw since Hazelpaw intercepted the clan on their way back from the island. Just being near the mouth of the medicine cat den was making Duskpaw anxious.
With a vague sense of duty, Duskpaw took in the sight before him: Brightfur shifting through her carefully organized stash of herbs while Meadowpaw sat in her nest, a crestfallen look on her face. Brightfur didn't seem to notice when Duskpaw joined her, but Meadowpaw's sad, tired eyes followed him, making him more uneasy than he was to begin with.
Duskpaw awkwardly stared at his paws, his tail swishing slowly behind him. "So what do you, um, need help with, Brightfur?"
Brightfur still didn't look up. "Well, I did need help finding that willow bark I sent you to get earlier, but I found it misplaced and jumbled up with the beech bark," She growled, making Duskpaw's ears flatten in shame.
"Sorry, Brightfur." Duskpaw responded, his voice barely audible.
His apology seemed to irritate his mentor further, "Maybe if you stopped daydreaming all the time and paid attention more often, you would've noticed where the willow bark goes. You might actually know a lot more if you paid more attention, might actually know the difference between poppy and foxglove seeds!"
Duskpaw flinched at her tone. Typically, Brightfur was soft-spoken and kind, patient even. He supposed that the stress and built up frustrations towards him were bringing out the worst in her.
Brightfur lightly shook her head. "Duskpaw, I've given Meadowpaw poppy seeds, willow bark, and feverfew for the head-shake, I'm not quite sure what else to give her yet. I'm going to visit Grasswhisker over in RiverClan and possibly Reddawn and Bouldertail in ShadowClan and WindClan if I have time, then I'm coming back, alright?"
The soot-furred tom flicked his tail in understanding, disappointment settling in his stomach. Watching Meadowpaw sounded dreadful.
"And I cannot stress this enough to you, Duskpaw," Brightfur told him, finally making direct eye-contact with her apprentice, "If she has another head-shake, you need to make sure she is on her side and there's nothing around her, okay? I had to treat some wounds on her legs and neck from when she fell in the forest. If you have to shove all of our herbs out of the way, that's okay. We can reorganize them later. Meadowpaw comes first."
Wide-eyed, Duskpaw nodded in compliance, "Right. Do I need to give her anything else?" He questioned, hoping she said there wasn't anything else.
Brightfur's golden pelt stiffened, "No. She can wait until morning, don't give her anything besides some fresh-kill and water." The medicine cat shifted her gaze from solely Duskpaw to him and Meadowpaw. "And I don't want her going anywhere either, or any visitors. Not any of her little friends, not Rosewater, not anyone, got it? We don't know if she's got a sickness that can spread or not and I don't want to take any chances until we get a better grip on things."
At her words, Meadowpaw gave a quiet sigh and rested her head on her paws, yielding a pang of sympathy from Duskpaw. He didn't want to take care of her, but he did feel badly for his clanmate.
Brightfur continued rummaging through the herbs in their stash, making sure things were in proper order. "And I've been helping with her grooming, the head-shake has made it harder for her to reach her flank."
Duskpaw had to hide a look of disgust. There was no way he was grooming her. He feigned indifference, "Alright. Anything else?"
"No," She tucked the bundle of herbs between her neck and chest, "I'm going to go now, please follow my instructions, Duskpaw."
"O-of course, Brightfur. Safe t-travels," Duskpaw stammered, though he wasn't certain if Brightfur was still listening to him.
Brightfur left without another word, leaving Duskpaw and Meadowpaw to their own devices.
Moments passed, Duskpaw staying nearly exactly where his mentor had left him. He could feel her sad eyes trained on him with an unnerving focus that made him want to run away and never look back. Meadowpaw wasn't talkative like he'd seen her be with Moonpaw and Hazelpaw, making Duskpaw wonder if she could feel his disdain for watching her already.
When he found the courage to turn around, his suspicions were confirmed. His company's eyes were relentlessly watching him, scanning him for something he didn't know. Empathy? Sympathy? Caution? Duskpaw wasn't sure.
Duskpaw was careful to keep situated by the mouth of the den, as far from Meadowpaw as he could manage without disobeying Brightfur. He never made direct eye contact with Meadowpaw, often opting to watch his paws with unnecessary vigor and attentiveness. Though Duskpaw never dared to look up and see for himself, he wondered if she was even blinking, or if she'd died staring at him.
With a light shake of the head, Duskpaw turned away from Meadowpaw again, opting to look at the more lively and optimistic scene unfolding in the hollow. Though shaken by Meadowpaw's horrific incident, clan life went on. The plain gray tom watched Stonepaw with Sunpaw, who'd left the company of Quailstar by then, plopped in a narrow slice of shade sharing tongues; Duskpaw was certain they were avoiding picking the ticks off of Lightspeck and Finchtail, ThunderClan's two elders.
Then he noted Smokepath walking with Beechheart, a younger she-cat with pretty cream fur and brown accents. That sight left a bitter taste in Duskpaw's mouth. It was evident that Smokepath and Cedardapple didn't work out and probably never would, but to see his father with Beechheart was upsetting to him and he wondered if Nightpaw and Moonpaw felt the same.
Duskpaw felt his shoulders slump, then she spoke, her meow raspy and half-hearted, but tinged with curiosity. "What are you looking at?"
Duskpaw stiffened, his posture immediately correcting itself and his fur bristling somewhat. "Nothing." He told her, twisting around to meet her stare once again. "Just what everyone's doing."
He didn't think she'd keep talking to him, but Meadowpaw did. "Do you see Moonpaw or Hazelpaw? Or my mother, Rosewater, is she there?" The poor white she-cat asked, hopefully.
A pang of sadness erupted within Duskpaw at her words, but he was truthful. "I don't see any of them, sorry, Meadowpaw."
Meadowpaw drew in a quiet sigh. "That's alright. I know Moonpaw's probably out with her mentor and after what I did last night, I doubt that Hazelpaw would want to see me anyway." She straightened her body in her temporary nest. "As for Rosewater, I know she wants to see me; she was so smothering that Brightfur had to make Cedardapple take her on a hunting patrol this morning, and I'm sure she'll be dragged away again for a border patrol. You saw her yesterday night, didn't you? She was frantic over me, wouldn't let you or Brightfur do your jobs."
Truthfully, Duskpaw had hardly done anything regarding Meadowpaw the night before. He didn't know anything about what was happening to Meadowpaw and Brightfur wouldn't explain or teach him about it so he'd tried to stay out of the way instead. He probably should've paid more attention, but Brightfur had been so tense and snappy that he shied away from even observing. All Duskpaw knew was Meadowpaw had a convulsion in the forest and that he and Brightfur arrived at the very end of it.
Maybe he hadn't payed as good of attention as he should've because of the expressions of Hazelpaw and Moonpaw. Both looked scared out of their minds, their fur was so pushed out that they both looked nearly thrice their usual sizes and their eyes were as wide as the full moon in the sky. Duskpaw had watched them more than the horror that was Meadowpaw writhing in the undergrowth. He vaguely recalled Brightfur shouting Meadowpaw's name, trying to snap her out of it, while she attempted to restrain her without much success.
"Duskpaw?" Meadowpaw's quiet voice tore him from his memory. He blinked, refocusing on her and pushing his thoughts away for the time being.
"Y-yeah?" He stammered, somewhat embarrassed for being caught staring into nothing for however long.
"Can I ask you something?" The forlorn cat asked, burying her claws deep into her moss nest, her eyes casted downwards.
At first, Duskpaw merely nodded, but then he realized she wasn't looking at him and gave a verbal confirmation. "Of course, erm, I might not-"
Her question cut off his self-doubting add-on, almost like she already knew the rest of what he was going to say didn't matter. When she spoke this time, her gaze met his, cold and steely, ready for his hesitant honesty.
"Am I going to die?"
The soot-pelted tom's breath hitched to where he had to suppress a startled cough and his eyes bulged at the unexpected, harsh question. When Duskpaw didn't answer straight away, Meadowpaw spoke more.
"Please, just tell me the truth, Duskpaw," Meadowpaw said, "I don't trust Brightfur's answer. I asked her earlier before you came in and she told me I was going to be fine, but I don't believe her. If I was going to be fine, she wouldn't have left to talk to Grasswhisker. I think she lied, but I don't think you'll lie to me. I don't believe her, but I believe you."
"You shouldn't." Duskpaw muttered, still somewhat shocked and panicked over her question as his mind raced to find a way to properly answer.
Meadowpaw kept staring at him. "Maybe I shouldn't," she admitted, "but I do because Moonpaw thinks very highly of you. If she believes you are a great medicine cat, then I'll believe you're a great medicine cat, even if you haven't proven it to me, yet."
Duskpaw stiffened. "Moonpaw thinks highly of everyone, Meadowpaw. She only says that because she's my sister and probably the nicest she-cat in ThunderClan. I mean, she thinks Nightpaw hung the moon himself and you see all the things he does."
Her eyes darkened somewhat at Nightpaw's mention, but didn't go into her thoughts on his brother. "I don't care, she's my best friend and she thinks you're great, so I trust you to tell me the truth. Besides, we're nursery-mates, right? That has to count for something." She told him, earnestly.
Meadowpaw drew in a deep breath, "So am I? Am I dying, Duskpaw?"
"N-no-"
She growled at the apprentice, "That's not the truth! I know that I'm dying, Duskpaw! I know, I know, I know, I know! Why are you lying?" Meadowpaw cried out, "You know it, Brightfur knows it, and I know it! I'm dying!"
Duskpaw didn't know what to say, completely stunned at her outburst. Rage, hurt, and fear flashed violently in Meadowpaw's eyes as she stared at him, who couldn't find it in himself to look away. The soot-furred tom wasn't sure how long the charged silence, broken only by heavy breathing and the trickle of water further in the den, when he gained more company.
Moonpaw's warm, comforting scent wrapped tendrils around the den, suffocating the products of Meadowpaw's accusations and frustration. She didn't look very well groomed when Duskpaw finally looked away from Brightfur's patient to his sister. Bracken and other debris stuck out of her ruffled, disgruntled pelt, and a bead of dried blood had crusted over a small wound on her ear, but her eyes were still bright and pleasant. Moonpaw's tail was raised and curled in greeting, her big paws curling slightly, seemingly without her knowing.
"Meadowpaw! Duskpaw! How are you both?" She greeted, stepping closer to Duskpaw, who kept staring dumbly at her.
"Oh, hi, Moonpaw." He murmured.
"Hey." Meadowpaw greeted, her eyes lightening somewhat at the sight of her friend, only to darken once she peered behind Moonpaw.
Duskpaw wondered why, it was almost as though she expected Moonpaw to come with someone else. Maybe she wanted Rosewater to come instead?
If Moonpaw noticed their lackluster responses, she didn't show it. She remained friendly and positive in a way that Duskpaw only noted in his sister.
"I just finished training for the day and I thought the three of us could grab something to eat? Hazelpaw and Falconpaw went on a hunting patrol instead of battle training and brought back a ton!" Moonpaw looked happily at Meadowpaw, "They got some really good, plump-looking thrushes too! Hard to believe, right? It's nearly leaf-bare and they managed such a great haul!" Then she looked at her brother. "There's a few voles, too, Duskpaw. I know you like those!"
Meadowpaw sighed, "Moonpaw I'm not all that hungry and I'm not allowed to leave the den."
"Oh, that's not a big deal! I'll just get you something and we call all eat in here," Moonpaw said, cheerfully, "Do you mind if I join you and Meadowpaw for a bit, Duskpaw?"
Duskpaw tensed, "But Brightfur…" He trailed off, realizing Brightfur would probably never know if Moonpaw did visit for a little and his sister was a far better host than himself. Having her around would surely reduce the hard questions Meadowpaw had asked before her somewhat welcomed interruption and might lift Meadowpaw's spirits. Then Duskpaw would be able to relax a little.
The medicine cat apprentice reluctantly nodded his head. "Just let me come with. I wouldn't want you to have to carry three pieces of prey-"
"Duskpaw, of course you can come." Moonpaw purred, amusedly, beckoning him with her tail to leave the den.
As Duskpaw jumped to his paws, eager to get away from the cream-furred apprentice for even a short moment, Meadowpaw spoke before either could move towards the mouth of the den. "Is Hazelpaw mad at me?"
Moonpaw shook her head at her best friend, her gaze soft. "No. Hazelpaw's not mad at you, Meadowpaw. She could never hate you, she understands you're a little off right now."
Her tone turned accusatory, "Then why isn't she here? If she wasn't mad at me, surely she would've come to visit."
"She's with Nightpaw." Moonpaw said, "I'm sure she'll come see you later-"
A bitter scoff escaped the sick she-cat, "Right! Of course Hazelpaw will leave that flea-pelt to see me! Even when I wasn't trying to kill her she never left Nightpaw's side to say hi to me! What makes you think she'll want to see me now?"
Moonpaw sighed, "Meadowpaw… look, just let Duskpaw and I go get some fresh-kill. We'll talk a little more afterwards."
Meadowpaw growled a little, but didn't do anything else besides claw angrily at her bedding. The siblings took that as a signal to leave.
Duskpaw relaxed almost as soon as the evening sun hit his pelt. The atmosphere was so different in the clearing: cats everywhere were coming back from training and patrol to eat and share tongues, most upbeat despite Meadowpaw's plight. He spotted his brother with Falconpaw, Stonepaw, Sunpaw, and Hazelpaw, all with their own pieces of prey. Then there was Greenlily and Quailstar in the shade sharing a large but scrawny hare, talking quietly amongst themselves. He saw Cedardapple with Darkclaw, Mousenose, Thrushtail, and Dawnlight sat in a tight circle, speaking in causal tones about their days. Even the elders, Oaklight and Nettlesting, were out enjoying the fleeting warmth of leaf-fall.
Life felt normal in the clearing and Duskpaw nearly didn't remember anything he wanted to worry to Moonpaw about. Moonpaw's demeanor, however, was quickly shifting.
"Is she doing alright?" She asked, slowing her pace so they'd have a moment to talk before they picked prey.
Duskpaw looked down in discomfort, watching some stray leaves dance in the breeze of the unnaturally smooth stone. "I'm not really the cat to ask, Moonpaw," He muttered.
"You're a medicine cat, Duskpaw, I think I can trust you." His sister purred, some of her usual nature showing through her curtain of concern. Moonpaw's eyes gave him a stern look. "And don't tell me how horrible of an apprentice you are, I don't want to hear it. You're a great medicine cat, even if you don't know everything quite yet."
Duskpaw didn't deserve Moonpaw's unyielding faith in his non-existent abilities of being a medicine cat, but she didn't deserve Duskpaw's constant self-doubt either, but that didn't stop him from voicing his shortcomings to her. He stopped and kept his voice low, unwilling to face his clanmates, mostly Cedardapple, should they have heard what he responded with.
"Moonpaw, I only know a paw-full of very, very basic things: marigold has yellow flowers and can cure infection, burdock root can… uh, burdock root-"
Moonpaw nudged Duskpaw, "Hey, I know you know a lot more than you're giving yourself credit for. You might not know them off the top of your head yet, but you know them in your heart." She flicked her scratched ear, "see that? I forgot a really, really easy defense move when I was training with Falconpaw and I got nicked! Every cat forgets, especially apprentices. I'm a good warrior at heart and you're a great medicine cat at heart."
Duskpaw's pelt flushed with relief and embarrassment; Moonpaw had come into the medicine cat den with a bloody scratch and he had done nothing but make a fool of himself!
"O-oh! Sorry, Moonpaw!" He stammered. "I'll, um, chew up some marigold for that once we get back."
Moonpaw let out a purr of amusement, "See? You'll do fine!"
Duskpaw flicked his ear in irritation and grumbled, "I can do simple stuff, but I can't do very much for Meadowpaw."
Her eyes glinted like she didn't believe him, but she didn't push him much more. They got to the fresh-kill pile and Moonpaw nosed around until she found a fat thrush for Meadowpaw and a sparrow for herself, both birds dangling loosely by their feet from her jaws. She gestured for Duskpaw to pick something for himself with a nod of her head. Duskpaw easily spotted a good-looking vole and snatched it up, its body taking up the whole of his mouth.
The apprentices padded back to Meadowpaw's nest in the familiar darkness of the medicine den. Meadowpaw didn't greet them on their return, hardly acknowledging when Moonpaw dropped her thrush beside her nest. Duskpaw sensed some anxiety from Moonpaw at the lack of responses from her best friend as she plopped down beside Duskpaw, which he was almost grateful for.
Moonpaw and Duskpaw waited before they ate, coaxing a nearly unresponsive Meadowpaw to take a bite from the thrush. It was painful to watch the cream-coated she-cat chew her single bite. Duskpaw thought it looked like her jaw was a weak as a kit's, her efforts barely processing the morsel of meat as she tried to chew for what seemed like moons. Then, she started to swallow, which was, in Duskpaw's opinion, the worst part of the whole ordeal. When she swallowed, her throat muscles shuddered like they were in the grips of several spasms that resulted in the poor she-cat having to cough the thrush up several times to try again before she finally got it down.
Neither sibling pushed Meadowpaw to eat anymore, instead opting to eat their own prey in an uncomfortable silence. Moonpaw finished first, and Duskpaw had nearly finished his vole when his den got even more crowded.
Rosewater, Meadowpaw's mother, came barreling into the den, going straight to her daughter. Before Duskpaw could speak, Rosewater was fussing over Meadowpaw, frantically grooming the dirty fur around her mouth and eyes.
"Meadowpaw, are you alright? I can't believe that happened, first that beast and now this!" She looked sharply at Duskpaw, "Where is Brightfur? I need to know how she's doing."
"U-uh, Brightfur's at RiverClan camp right now-"
Rosewater's eyes blazed, her lithe russet and white frame bristling, "What? She left my daughter, her clanmate, her patient unattended? For what?!" She bared her teeth at Duskpaw as though her leaving was his fault.
"She went to ask Grasswhisker on what else she should do for M-Meadowpaw, Rosewater. Brightfur wanted to know if he's seen anything like the head-shake she had-"
Rosewater shook her head fiercely, "That's terrible! She should've just sent you to Grasswhisker! What's she doing leaving Meadowpaw in your care? You're just an apprentice! What does she think this is? A thorn in Meadowpaw's paw?"
Moonpaw bristled at Rosewater, "No, she doesn't think it's nothing! Why else would Brightfur have left? Duskpaw is more than capable of caring for Meadowpaw until she gets back! She'll be here by moonrise!"
The warrior snarled, her ears pressed firmly against her skull. Duskpaw shifted uncomfortably at his sister's defense of him and tried to think of something that could possibly placate Rosewater, but came up with nothing.
Brightfur was brilliant, if she felt the need to go to another medicine for advice outside of a half-moon meeting, he knew it was serious. As kind as his mentor typically was she'd never gone to Grasswhisker, Bouldertail, or Reddawn for assistance before. He suspected it was so she didn't let other clans know something was amiss in ThunderClan or to preserve her well-masked pride in herself. Most clan leaders acted the same way for similar reasons, Duskpaw had noticed, and he feared what would happen when Brightfur wasn't around anymore and he was put in a similar position. Not asking for assistance could kill, but asking could cause a whole myriad of problems, especially in the heated climate with WindClan presently.
Instead of defending his ability to care for Meadowpaw in Brightfur's absence, Duskpaw merely told Rosewater she was welcome to stay as long as she wanted.
Rosewater glowered at him, "I'm her mother of course I'm allowed to stay as long as I want!"
Moonpaw glared at her friend's mother for assuming such things, but didn't retaliate. Duskpaw was tense over his decision; it was one thing to let his sister visit against Brightfur's orders, but Rosewater was another thing. Moonpaw hadn't had direct contact with Meadowpaw, but there Rosewater was, curled protectively around her kit, dedicatedly grooming her matting fur and going as far as to eat Meadowpaw's partially-eaten prey against Duskpaw's quiet, meek advice.
"I'm her mother," Rosewater hissed between bites of the plump mammal, "I can share prey with her if I'd like. She doesn't want anymore and I refuse to let prey go to waste so close to leaf-bare!"
Discreetly, Moonpaw and Duskpaw exchanged anxious glances, letting him know he wasn't the only one with a nervous, foreboding pang of horror in the pit of his stomach. While Rosewater ate, no one spoke and the den's air was uncomfortable and tense. Had Duskpaw had more confidence, he might have ordered Rosewater to leave; Brightfur told him he could command any cat, regardless of rank or clan, even leaders, to do whatever he asked as a medicine cat. Moonpaw seemed to wish he'd order Rosewater away too by the way she kept looking at him, her tail flicking against his side continuously.
Though he looked anywhere but Meadowpaw's and Rosewater's direction most of the time, he did sneak occasional glances at Meadowpaw. Duskpaw noted that she was licking her muzzle a lot and her head would lightly bob back and forth, her eyes closing part-way.
A light growl rumbled in Meadowpaw's throat, earning every cat's full attention.
Rosewater licked Meadowpaw's ears in concern, "Meadowpaw, are you feeling alright?"
Meadowpaw shook her head. "I think I'm going to-"
When she started to vomit, Duskpaw growled in frustration at himself. He should've known she was going to throw up! Duskpaw got to his paws without a word to get beech leaves to gather the throw-up off the floor of the den and the soiled moss from her nest.
He scanned the stash of herbs, pausing in concentration as he tried to remember which leaves were the beech. Duskpaw decided to take the first broad green leaves he found, praying to StarClan that he hadn't messed up – not that Rosewater, Meadowpaw, or Moonpaw would know that he did.
When Duskpaw turned back around, Moonpaw was watching on anxiously as Rosewater fretted over Meadowpaw, who swayed subtly in her nest with her eyes tightly shut. His eyes flickered to where Meadowpaw had vomited to see mostly foamy, bubbly bile and saliva along with the mouthful of thrush Moonpaw and he had coaxed her into eating earlier. The sight of it made his stomach curl and suddenly Duskpaw decided he didn't want to clean it up anymore. He turned around again and dropped the leaves that might've been beech sloppily amongst some other leaves and winced; he knew Brightfur would get on him about mixing leaves again in addition to failing to properly clean up after Meadowpaw. Duskpaw hesitated there, wondering if he should suck it up and clean up her spittle and vomit, but decided Brightfur's disappointment would be easier to bear and stared intently at their stash of herbs.
Duskpaw jumped at Rosewater's sudden snap, "Duskpaw! Are you just going to stand there or are you going to help Meadowpaw?"
"U-uh yeah! I… I'm just getting some… some," Duskpaw scanned the stash until his eyes fastened on a familiar white flower attached to a stem and some leaves, "some daisy leaves to help with, um, Meadowpaw's queasiness."
"Well hurry up!" Rosewater snarled at the apprentice, curling tighter around Meadowpaw's quivering form.
Relieved that no one questioned or corrected him on the true use of daisy leaves, which may or may not have been for what he was using it for, Duskpaw snipped off a few leaves from the stem and hesitantly padded to Meadowpaw's nest. He was careful to avoid the vomit and spittle splattered in front of the nest and deposited the daisy on a clean part of her nest.
He hoped eating the leaves whole was the right way for cats to use daisy, and told her to swallow the leaves. Meadowpaw shook her head in protest, "I can't."
Rosewater tried to talk her into eating them, "Meadowpaw, you've got to try if you want to get better. Just try one, for me?"
Meadowpaw didn't respond and her body suddenly stiffened in Rosewater's embrace. Her mother didn't seem to notice though, just Duskpaw. He watched her with rapt attention, unaware if Moonpaw had noticed yet.
It all happened so quickly after that. Meadowpaw's eyes rolled to the back of her head and her body thrashed violently, making Rosewater jump away from her in alarm with a screech. Meadowpaw's jaws snapped and twisted around, attacking a non-existent enemy as her legs stiffly kicked around at an imaginary current, her claws unsheathed.
After the initial shock wore off that Meadowpaw was enduring another head-shake, Duskpaw's thoughts flashed back to Brightfur's orders. Rosewater had started trying to force Meadowpaw's convulsing body still, pressing her forepaws firmly on her shoulder blade and hip in an attempt to pin her, so Duskpaw shouted at her.
"Get off! Get off of Meadowpaw, get away from her, now!" Duskpaw snapped, finding his voice amidst the panic.
Rosewater stared wide-eyed at him, "no, are you crazy? She's going to hurt herself, I just need to make her stay still and she'll stop!"
Duskpaw hissed at her, "Brightfur said not to touch her if this happened again! Now get off of her!"
When Rosewater didn't move, Moonpaw joined in, "Duskpaw said get off! For StarClan's sake, Rosewater, stop it! You're making it worse!"
Moonpaw's words finally seemed to reach Rosewater. The red warrior reluctantly got off of the shuddering apprentice, but it wasn't enough. Meadowpaw's thrashing kept making her smack into Rosewater and Duskpaw nearly snarled for her to get away from her again, but she had the sense to join him and Moonpaw at a safer distance.
"What in StarClan's name is going on here?" Quailstar's voice thundered in the den, ricocheting off the walls and making Duskpaw jump again.
All the yowling had attracted the rest of ThunderClan, the chaos of Meadowpaw's head-shake easily over-taking sharing tongues and eating prey. A variety of ThunderClanners had poked their heads into the den, most recoiling at the sight of one of their own lost in the throes of something none of them could understand.
The warriors, however curious, had let their leader through without a fuss. Quailstar's body made the space all the more cramped, but Duskpaw hardly noticed, his mind racing to find something to tell Quailstar and something to do to stop Meadowpaw's head-shake.
StarClan, Duskpaw wished Brightfur was there.
"Meadowpaw's having a head-shake!" Moonpaw supplied, looking between her friend and clan leader a few times, "the last one Meadowpaw had didn't last all that long, I bet this one will be over soon and she'll be okay again."
Duskpaw could tell Moonpaw was doing her best to keep herself together. He could only imagine how terrible it would be to watch some cat you cared for have head-shake after head-shake like Meadowpaw was having. This was the first one Duskpaw had ever witnessed and it was hard enough to watch as is, had he been closer to Meadowpaw… he didn't want to think about how hard it would be to keep a clear mind and act rationally.
Quailstar ducked out of the den after that, giving orders to Darkclaw, Beechheart, Foxstep, and Sunpaw to get Brightfur from RiverClan. Then he called the eavesdropping cats away from the medicine den, much to their dismay.
Duskpaw recognized a few voices.
"We deserve to know! What if that starts happening to the rest of us?" Pebblepelt's meow rang out, supported by growls and yowls of agreement.
"What if we need to watch? It could be StarClan trying to communicate with us!" Called Dawnlight.
There were more points that rang out in the ThunderClan camp, but Duskpaw tuned them out. He could catch up on what was happening later. Meadowpaw's situation was more pressing even though there wasn't anything he could do.
Rosewater wasn't doing well, watching on with anguish and pain in her gaze, watching her daughter's head-shake helplessly.
"How many more of these will she have?" Rosewater cried, looking to Duskpaw for an answer.
Duskpaw continued to watch Meadowpaw thrash, unable to look Rosewater in the eye. "I don't know."
He was grateful when Rosewater didn't ask anything else and Moonpaw kept quiet.
The den was silent for what felt like moons until Duskpaw felt it necessary to ask Moonpaw, "Did the last one take this long?"
Miserably, Moonpaw shook her head, "no it didn't."
Frustrated, Duskpaw was almost tempted to try to pin Meadowpaw down until she stopped too, but he held back. It was bad enough that he didn't follow most of anything Brightfur told him to do when she left, he didn't want to mess things up more than they already were.
Then it just stopped. Meadowpaw's body relaxed, her eyelids fluttered and her eyeballs rolled back into place. Her breathing evened out, her abdomen rising and falling at a typical pace that made Duskpaw's shoulders sag in relief; she wasn't dead. Meadowpaw didn't die on his watch, thank StarClan she was alright.
The only thing was, Meadowpaw wasn't normal when she eventually did get up with Rosewater's assistance. Despite the head-shake being over, Meadowpaw's head still swayed like her neck wasn't strong enough to support it properly and her eyes were glazed over and didn't seem to concentrate on anything. But the eyes and the head swaying wasn't what made Duskpaw's heart fall into his stomach.
Her mouth. Her jaw was just hanging open, saliva quickly gathering on the fur around her mouth and beginning to dribble in little beads to the floor.
"Is she alright?" Moonpaw asked Duskpaw quietly.
Duskpaw tried to catch Meadowpaw's eye, but her eyes still didn't seem to be focused. He wondered if she could even see him.
"Meadowpaw?" Duskpaw tried, searching for any sign that she heard him.
Meadowpaw's failure to respond earned a cry from Rosewater, who was supporting her body enough for her to sit up.
He turned to Moonpaw, his eyes dim, and shook his head. "No, she's not."
Hi guys! I'll admit, I'm not thrilled with this chapter and part of the reason it took a month to get this one out was because I kept agonizing over it! But you know what? I'm just going to go with it and try to make the next chapter better :) Anyways, I'm going to TRY (not guaranteeing) to get another chapter out before I go to college on the 22nd, but I'm not promising anything.
And, I finally got around to reading the first three books of the "Vision of Shadows" series and I'm about ready to bang my head into a wall (even though I love it and am eagerly awaiting the fourth book)! Why did SkyClan have to come back that totally ruins my story universe! Gah! If I knew for certain where their territory will be on the lake I'd just edit that clan into the story, but I don't and won't know until November when the next book comes out so I'm just going to pretend that SkyClan never came to the lake because by the time that comes out I'll (hopefully) be well into the story and won't want to include them! So I hope that's okay with you all!
Oh and one last thing. I've got every main cat's warrior/medicine cat name planned out except for Nightpaw's and I can't find a name that I think suits him well that I just love. So if you guys could comment some names for Nightpaw that would be fantastic! I'll either just pick my favorite or I'll set up a poll on my account for you all to vote on once I get some name suggestions for him. Thanks!
-Jay
Responses:
I-really-hope-not: Yeah Hazelpaw's a lucky duck! We'll have to see if that luck sticks around for her... And my endoscopy went well, thank you! I have a very high eosinophil count in my stomach (it's causing eosinophilic gastritis) and I'm on a TON of antihistamines and am finally starting to feel better :)
WarriorsErin: Thank you so, so much for giving my story a chance! I'm so glad you like it! Yes, Lyssa the wolf does have something to do with poor Meadowpaw's current predicament :)