Chapter 14 - Separating
Leonard stared at his laptop, trying to understand what had just happened, it was one thing to think they were over but to actually be over made him feel dead inside. It was like he just lost a part of him and it hurt more than he ever imagined, and what made it worse was there was really nothing he could do, he though. The addition of Sheldon's baby into the equation was just too much, even now he had trouble not thinking of that scene of her in Sheldon's bed, how would he take seeing Sheldon's child running around the house if they were together. Honestly he really didn't know, he didn't know if it would remind him about what happened everytime he saw it or if he could accept it, but it really didn't matter now because she said she didn't need him. It was just that he still loved her, and no matter how he tried, any anger he had at what she did, could not stop him from loving her, he knew he was just pathetic, so pathetic.
He couldn't be there at work anymore, he just wanted to crawl into his bed, the university now seemed just too cold and empty. So like a zombie he shut off his laptop and closed up his office, walking slowly back to his apartment, not even really consciously thinking, his hind mind doing the navigation for him. It took him over any hour to walk back, not even considering the bus, and even though it was cold and windy he felt nothing, the thoughts of what he had lost and what would he do next occupying his thoughts. It almost even surprised him when he finally laid down in bed, not really sure what time it was or even remembering the trip back, but the sadness seemed to engulf him as he laid there, tears finally falling from his eyes as realized he lost the love of his life.
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Penny couldn't sleep, even though she was physically tired and she had been crying for a while, she still couldn't sleep, she wanted Leonard so bad and she just couldn't get him out of her mind. She was already regretting her Skype session with him, and she wondered what possessed her to even call him, much less tell she didn't need him and would manage on her own. It now seemed like stupidity, not courage that drove her, because who was she kidding, she needed him, needed him bad. Her whole plan of just a few days ago, was falling apart in her mind, she knew there would be hurt, but the incredible loneliness she now felt was overwhelming. The thought of never seeing Leonard again was so painful that she just wanted to die and she couldn't imagine how she was going to go on without him. And the thing was he offered to help her, all she had to do was say yes, what the hell was wrong with her, and it made her wonder what possessed her to be so pigheaded.
Penny slowly sat up in bed, finally looking at her clock and saw it was 4 AM, it just made her more tired, but as she laid down again and tried to get comfortable on her bed she knew she would never sleep. She was a bundle of nerves, scared about what she was going to do as she got more pregnant and terrified she would ever be able to get over Leonard, much less find a man like him again. She tossed another thirty minutes than gave up, she wasn't going to be able to sleep and she knew she would go nuts if she stayed in her apartment. So grabbing her robe she went out back to her small living room and powered up her laptop, then going on line to a site called "Priceline" to look for airline tickets back home. The need to be with her mother again, overruling any thoughts of that she was going home again after just a few days at her apartment.
Penny was in luck and found tickets for early afternoon that day, this trip the third time in just over a month she was going back to Nebraska, but she just couldn't stay in her apartment over the holidays, without the guys without her girlfriends and especially without Leonard. Really the only friend she had for sure right now was Bernadette and Penny knew she needed to spend time with 'her family', not a screw up like her. With those thoughts Penny quickly selected and paid for the flight back to Nebraska, then went back to her room to pack.
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It was the knocking at his door, that finally woke Leonard from a sleep he had finally succumbed to in his state of dejection, and there was a little part of him that actually welcomed the interruption as he made his way to the door. However, Leonard was more than a little surprised when he saw Colin, Andy and Sean at his door, the men's bright smiles diminishing a little when they saw his face. "Leonard have you been asleep?" Colin asked.
Leonard just gave them a small nod, then answered, "Yes."
"It is New Years Eve, old chap, no time to be sleeping." Sean added.
"Really Leonard, there is beer and birds out there just waiting for us." Andy said with a huge grin back on his face.
"I'm really not in the mood, guys, but thanks anyway." Leonard told them.
"So you are going to stay in your room all night and sleep, instead of getting shit-faced with us? You are going to turn down your old mates from that dreadful boat trip in the North Sea." Colin tried to guilt Leonard.
The guilt didn't work but the idea of getting shit-faced, like Colin said, suddenly interested Leonard. He knew he wasn't going to get back to sleep and he knew what he would be thinking about, so the thought of getting drunk and his mind being blank suddenly felt like the solution to his current problem. He didn't even care if he got sick afterward, at least his mind would be on something else. "Leonard?" Colin's saying his name brought Leonard out of his thoughts.
"Maybe you're right." Leonard answered.
"Of course we are right." Andy blurted out, again a big smile on his face.
Leonard just shook his head, "Can you give me a minute to get ready."
"Only, if you have some beer." Andy responded.
"There are a few bottles in the fridge." Leonard pointed at the kitchen and went in his room to hurry and get ready.
Andy made a beeline to the fridge and opened it, a sour expression coming over his face as he grabbed three bottles from inside. "American beer!" he said in disgust, "Bloody hell what a man has to endure for friendship." he then gave the other two bottles to Colin and Sean who nodded in agreement.
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Leonard sat at the table, the pint in front of him already half gone as he picked the glass up and took another swig. The guys around him were talking about something, but he really didn't know what, as he concentrated on his beer wondering how long it would take for it to make his mind mush so he wouldn't think anymore. He had just been thinking how Penny would probably like the pub they were in and would enjoy England too, so he almost jumped when Colin gave him a quick jab to get his attention. "Leonard are you with us?"
Leonard looked at him, "Sorry, I was just thinking."
Colin shook his head in amusement, "I said there are a lot of birds here tonight, from the college, and they are not with guys. So we all agreed to see what we could stir up."
"I'm not really up for it, I just want to drink some." Leonard responded.
"I can forgive a man who just wants to drink, but you are really giving up on a golden opportunity old chap, there are more women than men here, I think tonight." Colin tried to coax him.
Sean saw another group of girls come in and smiled, "Leonard, that grad student that has the hots for you, Meka, just came in with a couple friends."
Andy laughed, all of them had seen her flirt with Leonard before, "Leonard that girl would probably walk out with you right now and do you in the alley. Hell you could get a quick one before your beer got warm, though I will never understand why you Americans insist on only drinking cold beer."
Leonard looked at Andy with a little annoyance, Andy was always the sleaziest of the group, he had been like that too on the boat, always a skirt chaser, he reminded him a little of Howard. "She is too young for me." Leonard just said, trying to end the conversation.
"Bullocks, I know for a fact she is over 23, that is not too young for anyone, and you won't get in trouble for doing one of the grad students as long as you're not their adviser." Then in an afterthought, Andy added, "But wear protection mate, they don't like you getting them pregnant." Colin now glared at Andy after he said that, sometimes Andy was even too disgusting for him.
Andy saw Colin's glare and just gave him the finger, in jest, then turned towards the girls, raising his hand, and yelling, "Hey Meka, over here!"
Leonard watched in shock as Meka got a huge smile on her face and started to come over to their table, her friends following her, to Andy's delight. "Why did you do that?" Leonard looked at Andy, really annoyed.
"She has got three friends and they are all cute, sort of saves some time looking for some one." Andy told him with a little smugness. "Plus female grad students love guys like us, all we have to do is mention we work for dear Stephen, and they will be all over us."
Sean nodded, "Good plan Andy." then he gave Andy an appreciative pat on the back.
Colin, stood there as both Andy and Sean looked at him, finally making him cave, "Okay, you had a moment of brilliance."
Leonard looked at all three of them, "Yeah brilliance." sarcasm dripping from his words.
The next hour Colin, Sean and Andy talked up Meka's three friends who were also grad students to their delight. Leonard on the other hand tried to be aloof but not mean to Meka, even though in that short time she had tried to talk him to her apartment twice, to 'Celebrate New Years' in private. Even though he was now nursing his beer, it was still starting to have an effect, so he wasn't as mad at being stuck with her, but he was still sober enough to not want to go to her apartment and he kept trying to find a way to get away from her.
It was then that Constance appeared out of nowhere, as suddenly the conversation stopped around the table when Leonard's three friends saw her standing behind Leonard. It was Meka's staring over his shoulder that finally made him turn, to find himself only inches away from her, and he watched as a smile formed on her face, "Hi Leonard."
"Hi…Constance." Leonard didn't know what else to say, he was a little surprised to see her.
"Mind if I join you all." She said to Leonard then looked at the rest of the guys.
"Sure Constance, can I buy you a drink." Andy offered and the girl, he had been talking with, gave him a sour look.
The next couple of seconds, things happened quickly, Andy went to get Constance a drink, Colin and Sean stopped talking to their girls and asked Constance how she was doing. Constance stepped to the table right between Leonard and Meka to answer Colin and Sean's question and Leonard watched Meka's face turn red, while the whole time Leonard was trying to understand what was happening. He didn't know whether to be suspicious of what Constance was doing or hug her from saving him from Meka, who had just hinted, before she had shown up, that if he came to her apartment they could do anything he wanted.
The next 20 minutes Constance dominated the conversation, as Leonard watched Colin, Andy and Sean hang on her words, while Meka and her friends looked like they all had lemons in their mouths. Constance had on a short form fitting silky dress and she didn't have a lot of makeup on, but she still looked like she just came off the pages of a modeling magazine. Her dress paled the four graduate students who were in jeans and blouses, and even Leonard could see they were bothered by it, as each of them, in turn, looked her up and down. So it really didn't come to much of a surprise to Leonard when he noticed Meka start to make her way to the other side of him, however he was surprised when suddenly Constance turned to him and blurted out. "Oh, they are playing my song, could you please dance with me Leonard….Please!"
"Ummm….." Leonard looked at Constance and at the same time noticed Meka behind her, already half way to the other side of him. "Yeah sure."
Leonard hadn't even noticed it was a slow song until they were on the dance floor and Constance put her arms around his neck pulling herself against him, he had been thinking so much about what just happened with Meka. However now he felt uncomfortable and if it wasn't for Meka he would have immediately stopped dancing. At the table the guys were just looking at each other. "That bastard, I bet he has got a thing going with Constance!" Andy blurted out, not even seeing Meka looking at him wide eyed.
"No wonder, he didn't want to look for girls, he must have known she was coming." Colin added, not noticing Meka now looking at him, disappointment all over her face.
"It must be the American accent." Sean finally added, Meka now looking at him.
Andy, who now had given up on Constance, saw Meka look at the other two guys heartbroken and decided to move in. Meka was the cutest of the girls and had a slim hot body, the tight jeans she was wearing only making her ass better looking, plus Andy had no trouble scooping up rejected girls, they seemed the most willing to prove their desirability to the next man that came along. "Meka want to dance?"
"Hey!" the girl, Emma, he had spent the last hour with said. Andy turned and gave her a wink, then turned back and took Meka's hand, she did not resist as he took her to the dance floor.
Leonard was even more uncomfortable with Constance pressed tight against him, her head on his shoulder, as she seemed to pull even tighter to him. He just wished the song would end and was even thinking again of stopping the dancing with her until he saw Andy dancing with Meka, Meka looking at him making him feel bad about everything that seemed to be happening. He almost sighed in relief when the way too long song ended and quickly tired to think of a way out of this mess he seemed to be in. "Constance, I sort of need to go to the bathroom….you know too much beer."
Constance giggled. "Leonard you don't have to ask me." he was so cute, she thought.
"I know….I mean…..thank you." Leonard then moved off feeling like a fool. He took his time relieving himself, carefully washing his hands after, to kill even more time, and trying to compose himself so he could endeavor to figure out what to do, Meka was still out there and he didn't know what Constance was doing being so friendly.
But after a little while of unsuccessful thought, Leonard just left the loo, and was immediately cornered by Meka, her quick approach to him pinning him against a corner in the hall to the bathrooms. "Do you love her?" Meka asked him before he could ask her what she wanted.
Leonard looked at her in confusion, he had never told her about Penny and it was no business of hers that he still loved her, it actually made him angry. "What the hell are you talking about." he responded with a little bit of anger in his response.
Any beer fueled courage Meka had right then dissolved as tears started to fall from Meka's eyes, making her now almost whisper, "Do you love Constance?"
All of Leonard's anger dissipated in that moment as he realized what she was asking, she wasn't asking about Penny, she was asking about Constance and of course he didn't love her. "No Meka, I don't love her."
Meka's eyes got big again, she was really adorably cute, there were probably guys all over the university that would like to date her. However, Leonard could not be one of them, because he still loved Penny, he just couldn't see himself with anyone else right now. He watched a small smile form on Meka's lips as she wiped her tears off her face, he also noticed she wore no makeup, she was naturally beautiful. He decided to just tell her the truth, maybe she would understand, besides he had too much beer already to start making up stories, "Meka, I just broke up with the girl I was engaged to marry this morning."
Meka's eyes went wide again as she just stared at him, "You were engaged?"
Leonard nodded, "An American girl from Pasadena, where I am from."
Meka looked down at her hands and Leonard was afraid she would start crying again, but she surprised him. "So you were engaged the whole time you were here?" Leonard nodded, "Oh…..is that why you were…just friendly?"
"Yes, I realized after a while you maybe wanted to be more than friends, but I was engaged. I probably should have told you sooner. I'm sorry." Leonard explained.
Meka nodded, "No, I'm sorry, I just didn't know." Meka got quiet for a moment, "Did you love her a lot?"
Leonard sighed, "I still love her."
Meka nodded, "I hope you feel better."
"Thank you Meka." Leonard responded, then Meka surprised him as she took a step forward to kiss his cheek and give him a hug, a deep blush crossing her face as she pulled away then walked off. Meka smiling to herself, maybe she had a chance with him after he got over his breakup, that thought immediately coming to her mind as she headed back to the table where her friends were.
Leonard stood there a couple of minutes his hand touching his cheek where Meka kissed him, it was such a sweet honest gesture, it actually moved him. She was really a wonderful girl and he really hoped she found someone that would love her as much as he loved Penny. The sudden thought of Penny, putting a dull ache in his body as he wished so badly again that night that she was there, it also made him go back to the table because he suddenly wanted more beer to make the pain go away.
When Leonard returned to the table, she saw that Meka and her friends were gone and the guys were now talking to Constance, it really didn't surprise him, Meka was obvious the leader of her group and where she went they followed. He still didn't know what to think about Constance though, but as he got closer he saw her and the guys caring on and laughing so he thought he was probably over thinking things again. Anyway, he just wanted beer tonight and the sweet oblivion it brought, so he was pleasantly surprised to see a fresh cold one sitting in his spot at the table.
Leonard walked up to the table, picked up the beer and took a long sip, smiling to everyone at the table who were all now watching him. "Thanks for the cold one, I really needed it."
"Your welcome, Leonard." Constance said, which made Leonard look at her in confusion.
"Yeah, we told Constance how you American's like your beer cold, so she got you a fresh one. You're welcome." Andy added, then looked at Leonard for some response. Andy had never seen a babe like Constance ever by a guy a drink before and he wondered what was going on between them.
Leonard again was confused about what was going on with Constance, so just grabbed his beer and took another swig while he looked at the eyes of the guys on him. He didn't know what to say so he just kept drinking the beer till the glass was empty, getting every drop out of it before he was forced to put the glass back down. He finally looked at Constance again, "Umm..Thanks again, it really hit the spot."
Constance gave him a million dollar smile, "Your welcome darling." The way she said it made Leonard nervous.
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Penny had been ready to leave for the airport when Bernadette showed up at 11 AM, she had come over to take Penny to her house for the day, so she wasn't alone. Penny couldn't help but feel lucky about having friends like this, and it only made her loss feel more cruel when she thought about what she had done to ruin everything. Bernadette talked Penny in letting her drive her to the airport and also made her promise to call Bernadette to pick her up when she came back, squeezing her hard in a hug when they finally got ready to separate at the departure drop off.
"Penny are you going to be okay?" Bernadette looked at her a deep concern evident in her eyes.
Penny's first thought was to just answer 'Yes', but she couldn't lie to someone who was such a good friend. "No, it still hurts so much, that is why I have to go home. I need to be away for a few days, I thought I would be okay, but I was wrong, I need to be with my family." Penny looked at Bernadette for a second before she continued, "My other family, you guys are my family too." There was no doubt in Penny's mind that her friends in Pasadena where her family now too, it was just things there were a little messed up with them right now.
Bernadette nodded, "Just remember that honey, you have friends Penny, I am your friend and Amy is still too, she just needs to get over her feelings right now."
"Sad feelings I caused." Penny added, obvious guilt in her response.
"Honestly Penny, she doesn't really blame you, she said she was there and was the least drunk. She believes, if anyone could have stopped it all it was her, so she does not hold it against you at all." Bernadette responded.
"I love you Bernadette and I love Amy too. Tell her that for me." Penny said sincerely and Bernadette nodded. They stood for a couple seconds then Penny finally broke the silence, "Thank you."
Bernadette nodded and started to go around to the drivers side of the car to let Penny go. "Remember you promised to let me pick you up, when you come home, and a promise is a promise."
Penny nodded, "I promise." Then turned to the airport entrance pulling her bag behind her. Bernadette didn't pull away from the curb until Penny disappeared in the door and then only after Bernadette said a short silent prayer she would be okay.
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Leonard took an another swig of beer then put the glass down to look at it, it wasn't a second later he let out a huge burp, then giggled at his own belching. Constance would have been disgusted if a date had done that, but she couldn't help giggle with him, she honestly thought he looked cute. Colin watched the whole thing, Leonard making a fool of himself and Constance seeming not to mind. "Leonard you are seriously pissed." Colin finally said. The last two hours Leonard had really put a few down and Colin knew he was going to be really sorry tomorrow.
Leonard's eyes went wide, "No I didn't." as he staggered a few steps from the table looking down at his pants for wetness, then almost falling over until Constance grabbed him and brought him back.
"Darling, he means you're drunk." Constance explained.
"I'm not drunk….Am I?" Leonard now looked confused at her.
Constance giggled again, she thought he was adorable, she then told him with a little smile on her face. "Darling, I think maybe you are a little."
"Well I guess I'm not driving home tonight." then Leonard looked at Constance with worry, "How am I going to get my car home?"
"Leonard you don't have a car, you came with us remember?" Colin told him.
"He really is pissed." Constance chuckled to Colin.
"Oh not again." Leonard then tried to take a couple steps away from the table again to look and see if his pants were wet.
Constance grabbed him just in time before he almost fell again. "Darling, I think you are done for the night."
"He definitely is." Colin agreed, then frowned. "Damm-it, it isn't even the New Year yet and he needs to be taken home."
"That's okay, I got him." Constance quickly volunteered.
Colin was more than surprised, "You sure, I mean the night is still young."
Constance just smiled, "I'll get him home, I'm done for the night anyway." She then turned to Leonard, "Leonard we are going home now, okay."
Leonard looked at her with slightly glazed over eyes, "Okay."
Colin watched Constance help Leonard out the door, with a little bit of jealousy, he thought once Leonard started to get drunk maybe Constance would be more interested in him. Boy did he get that one wrong, she seemed only to want to take care of Leonard more the worse he got. He should have went bird hunting with Andy and Sean instead, because now he could see them at a table with a couple girls, having a good time. Colin shook his head, that is what he got for being a nice guy, this New Years Eve was bullocks.
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"Miss do you want me to wait." Constance looked at the snow falling around her outside the cab, then make a quick decision, paying he cab driver and sending him off. She then half carried Leonard up to his apartment, feeling a little like a school girl trying to get her drunk date home, as she put her hand in his front pocket to find his key as they reached his front door.
Constance was a little amazed how cute and tidy Leonard's apartment was, she was use to most men being slobs, when they lived alone, but Leonard's place was refreshingly clean and didn't smell. It was easy to find the bedroom and as she sat Leonard on his bed, he fell over on the pillows, passing out almost immediately. Constance shook her head, "You poor sod, you are going to be so sick tomorrow." she then sighed, "Darling, what am I going to do about you?" She leaned down and kissed his cheek, rubbing the place with her thumb, after she pulled her lips away, to rub off the lipstick.
She walked to the bathroom and found his aspirins in the cabinet, then found a bucket and bottle water in the kitchen, placing them all near the side of the bed Leonard was laying. She then stood over him a minute and looked down at him again, "You can't sleep like that." Constance removed his jacket and hoodie, then pulled his shoes and socks off, standing there for a few seconds wondering if she should go on. "Oh what the hell." She pulled his pants down and off, then pushed his two t-shirts up and off to reveal his bare chest, it suddenly made her flush as she looked at him in just his boxers. He wasn't skinny like she first thought, actually he had a nice compact body, and she again thought definitely not skinny as her eyes traveled down to his boxers and she felt her heart beat faster. Is was just then, out of the blue, her mind, which was both a little logically dulled and sexually aroused by drinking that night too, wondered if she should take those off as well.
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Sheldon had heard Penny leave her apartment, her and Bernadette talking a great deal as she left, he also had peaked through the door peep hole and noticed Penny had suitcases, so she probably would be gone for a little while. He had been thinking a lot since the girls came over and had worried a lot too, especially about what his mother would say. He had to know more about this situation, but he didn't want to talk to Penny and was really pleased she was gone, taking that option away, but now that left only Bernadette and Amy to talk too. Bernadette scared him, she was like a storm, you didn't know how intense it was going to be until it hit you, so the only logical choice for him was Amy. Amy was actually the perfect choice, because of the relationship agreement, she was obligated to explain social situations to him without getting mad at him, and this obviously fell in that category, so Sheldon went to his laptop to send a Skype request to her.