Chapter 16 - Eternal Love

Leonard took a drink of the cool water, it felt good going down his throat, and his mind concentrated on that first good feeling he had in the last 18 hours. He barely felt Constance shifting around on the couch next to him, but he definitely felt her hand on his back as she stared to rub it, while he just stared ahead, it actually felt good. Leonard then took another sip of cool water and closed his eyes, his back being rubbed felt so soothing and his whole body started to relax. The back rub slowly transitioned to a scalp rub as Constance's hand moved up till it was in his hair gentling moving through his locks. The way she was now comforting him would normally have lulled Leonard into a relaxed state if is wasn't for one thing, it wasn't Penny, and it was so obviously not Penny, any good feelings Leonard had, to that point, dissolved as sadness and loneliness took it's place.

Leonard knew he didn't want this, Constance was a wonderful person and had only been nice to him, but he could only think of Penny and how he never wanted to cheat on her. He just couldn't be with anyone else, no matter how he felt about everything that had gone on, he still loved Penny, he was truly pathetic, but that is who he was and he knew he would just have to accept that he would always love her. He had known that weeks ago when he told her he was coming back and even now he knew, after this new information about the pregnancy, he loved her still. There was nothing else he could do and like an epiphany he now knew he had to go immediately back, he had to see and talk to her.

Leonard took Constance's hand from the back of his head and gently pushed her away, then looked at her surprised expression, her eyes getting wider as she looked at him. Leonard's mind was now fully alert and he immediately blamed himself for this even happening, it was especially bad because he could now see a slight hurt expression on Constance's face, where before there was only a smile. He felt like an asshole and now even a hypocrite, how did he get himself into these situations kept running through his mind, but now that he was in it he had do something.

"Constance, I can't…..I'm leaving here to go back to the US in a day or two…..It wouldn't be fair to you." Leonard wasn't lying, in those last few seconds he had made his decision to go back to talk to Penny.

"You're leaving?" Constance asked, her hurt expression now turning to confusion.

Leonard nodded. "I have to go back, it is my home and there are still some unfinished things there I need to do."

"But Dr Hawking offered you a position here…..I thought…..I thought you wanted to stay." she said in hurt confusion.

"I didn't accept it, because I want to go back home." he watched as Constance just stared at him. "Constance it wouldn't be right for me to start anything with you and just leave. I just can't do that." Leonard hoped that would make her feel better, instead of the truth, he loved Penny still and couldn't be with any other woman.

Constance looked down at her lap, she was really surprised about him leaving, and still at the same time, she now felt that his rejection of her was completely in his character. He was a nice guy and she had always felt he would never use her, it was one of the reasons she had been attracted to him, it just made her feelings for him even more deep. "I understand Leonard." She then looked up into his eyes. "Do you think you'll be coming back anytime soon?"

The way Constance asked about him returning was filled with hope and Leonard knew it would be cruel to give her a reason to wait for him, if that was what she meant. "I don't think so, my work here is sort of done. I'm really sorry if I gave you the wrong impression Constance, I didn't mean to."

Constance gave him a little smile, again. "Don't concern yourself Leonard, this was actually a special New Years for me and I wouldn't trade it away for the world."

Leonard smiled back at her. "You are an amazing person, you know that."

Constance actually giggled, "Well now Dr Hofstadter, you're not trying to get into my panties are you?"

Leonard chuckled at her remark, then shook his head, smiling back at her, "This New Years will always be special for me too."

Constance nodded and smiled, "Well you seem okay now, so I think I'll go home and feed my cat." She stood up from the couch and went to the bathroom grabbing her dress on the way. It was only five minutes later she came back out, Leonard standing up to see her out. Constance turned just before going out and put her hand on Leonard's jaw, then kissed him on the cheek stopping momentarily near his ear to whisper. "You're a pretty amazing guy too Leonard." She then stepped away from him.

"Thank You Constance….for everything." he said to her and she smiled then nodded as she then turned and left, Leonard closing the door behind her. He really meant it when he thanked her because her presence had woke him up to what he really wanted to do, he wanted to go back and talk to Penny and see if they could salvage their relationship. He walked over to his table and powered up his laptop, he needed to find airline tickets to get him home as soon as possible.

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Penny sat on the swing on the front porch of her parents house, they had just finished dinner and she just wanted to sit there alone. Her sister had left a few minutes before and it had been nice talking to her that afternoon, but Lin had never met Leonard or talked to him, so when she started to tell Penny that all guys are the same, she just tuned her out and just nodded as her sister continued to talk. However all in all, it was still nice talking to her and the conversation they had about babies really helped, holding little Carl for a while also was nice too, especially when she thought about her having her own child in 7 months.

It was the constant loneliness, like now, that got to her, Leonard had been in her life for over 7 years, even when they broke up, he was always across the hall. She could always go over to see him when she wanted, he never pushed her away, even when Priya wanted him to, he never pushed that hard. Now him being gone so long and knowing he wasn't coming back left a hole in her soul, an emptiness she didn't know how to fill. Everything reminded her of him, like tonight, it wasn't that cold, maybe low 20's, there was snow on the ground and no wind. She was bundled up in a coat hat, snow pants, boots and a blanket over her, and she couldn't help remembering how her and Leonard sat on the roof, many a cool night, a blanket over them as they talked and/or looked at the stars.

It was actually ironically funny, she had wanted to go to California to be a Movie or TV star, and she was actually now on her way down that path. But she wasn't happy like she has always thought she would be, it meant so little to her now. She had found something so much better, Leonard, her friends and now a baby, they all meant so much more to her than being a star. It was hard to understand how she had followed her dream, then life happened to her, letting her find something better, and then it was all taken away from her.

Penny slowly swung on the swing and thought back to when she was in high school, remembering what some people said about freezing to death, and how you just fall asleep to never wake up. It was really a peaceful way to go, but it was something Penny could never do, she had another person to think about and she was responsible for him or her. She rubbed her hand over her belly, there still wasn't a bump but she knew there was a baby there, she had the symptoms that couldn't be ignored, her breasts were bigger, she sometimes had a little morning sickness in the morning, and she felt her hormones were going crazy because she knew she had been riding an emotional rollercoaster the last two months.

Penny didn't know how long she had been out there, but eventually her mother came out and sat down with her, Penny immediately offering her part of the blanket. "Honey, how long are you going to stay out here? You know its been over two hours since you went out." Meryl asked in concern.

Penny sighed, then actually looked at her mom, a little crack in her voice as she talked, "I was thinking about Leonard."

"I'm sorry Honey." Meryl put her arm over her daughter and Penny just melted into her mothers side, sniffling a little. Meryl, like any good mother, hated seeing her children in pain and she said a silent prayer that everything would work out okay for her.

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Dr Thomas walked into Leonard's apartment, as soon as Leonard opened the door, immediately noticing the boxes piled up in the living room. Leonard didn't have a whole lot so with his travel bags and the six boxes he had packed, everything that was his in the apartment was now ready to go. "So there is nothing I can say to keep you from leaving." Thomas asked.

Leonard shook his head, "I'm really sorry, you offered me a gift of a lifetime, but I can't stay. I'm greatly honored Sir and if you could tell Dr Hawking that and give him my apologies, I would really appreciate it."

Dr Thomas nodded. "I will let him know. Between just you and me Leonard, can you tell me why?"

Leonard nodded, he owed the man that. "There is this girl, I love her and we were to be married. Some things happened, but I still love her and still want to marry her and the last time we talked I think she might still want to marry me. I have to find out."

Thomas nodded, "Leonard, between you and me, Dr Hawking is very determined when he wants something, so I would be surprised if he didn't offer this to you again in the future, so believe me when I tell you, you are not burning any bridges by leaving now."

Leonard smiled, "Thank you Sir."

"Anyway, I'll have them ship your boxes to the states on Monday, and if you would let me, I would like to drive you to the airport bus. You said you are leaving tonight?" Dr Thomas gave Leonard a smile too.

"Thank you sir, that would be great." Leonard grabbed a bag and a carry-on while Thomas grabbed another bag, to leave the apartment, Cambridge and England that evening.

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Penny woke up again, it was the third time that night, she never slept more than a few hours at a time now, even when she didn't have a disturbing dream like she had just woken from. It wasn't a new dream but one that had haunted her a couple times before, it started with her in a fog, trying to find Leonard and he always was out of reach, and it always ended with her finally giving up, falling to ground and crying. It was close to morning now, but still pitch dark and Penny sat up in bed barely keeping the tears from coming like in her dream, she needed to do something, she had to tell Leonard she had made a mistake and did need him. So Penny went and got her laptop, powering it up and opening her email account, to start typing.

Dear Leonard

I'm sorry if I caused you any pain during our last Skype session, but I was still a little in shock that I was pregnant, so I hope you can forgive me. I also want to tell you I made another mistake, and ask again if you can find it in your heart to forgive me. You were right, I can't do this alone and would like to accept any help you still would like to offer with everything that is happening with me. Please contact me Leonard, let me know if you could help and let me talk further about this with you.

Always your friend, Penny.

Penny had no idea if she was saying the right words or that he even cared anymore, but it was Leonard and he was different than other guys, so she had a little hope. If he came back she knew she would feel horrible about him giving up the chance to work with Dr Hawking to be there for her, but she couldn't help herself from being selfish at that moment as she hit send and watched as the computer came back telling her the email was successfully sent. Penny sat with her laptop on for about a half hour, hoping for a response, before she got tired again and shut it down to go back to sleep.

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The Boeing 747 left Heathrow at 10 PM Saturday, the day after New Years, Leonard in first class because that was the only seat available and he had to pay a high price for even that, since it was the holiday weekend. Now in his seat Leonard actually welcomed the accommodations since his seat turned into almost a bed and he could sleep for the next nine hours. Since Constance left the day before he had not slept much, just taking few hour naps while he made arrangements and packed, his need to get home dominating his every thought. However, now that the airplane was heading west, he finally felt a little relaxed and since he still wasn't a 100 percent over his hangover, from the day before, he decided to try and sleep as he configured his seat into a bed so he could lay his head down, it had been a wise decision as he fell quickly asleep.

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Penny spent the whole Saturday, checking her laptop, but she never received an email from Leonard, it depressed her more and more as the day went on. She began to wonder if she finally pushed him completely away when she told him about the baby, after all even Leonard could take only so much and she had really dumped a load of crap on him the last few months. The thoughts that she drove him away really hit her hard, in the emotion state she was in, and she started to quietly whimper as tears fell down her face while she sat in the dinning room in front of her laptop.

Meryl, who had not let Penny out of her sight for longer than an hour all the time while she had been there, found her that way, silently crying sitting in front of her computer. "Honey what is wrong?"

Penny sniffled then looked at her mom, "I think I finally drove him completely away."

"Leonard?" Penny just nodded, "What makes you think that. Did he send something to you?" Meryl asked.

Penny shook her head, "I sent him an email this morning telling him I was sorry and asking for his help." Penny sniffled again, "He never answered me."

Meryl walked up behind her to lean down and hug her daughter from behind. "Sweetie, he may not have seen it yet. You have to give him time."

"Mom he always before answered quickly." Penny told her.

"Yes but before was he in England?" Meryl countered.

"No." Penny quietly said.

"So just give him a little more time, okay." Meryl told her while giving her a kiss on her head. Penny just nodded. However, Meryl was worried deep down inside, nothing had been going well for her daughter, if Leonard now rejected her, she didn't know how Penny would take it.

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Amy sat on the couch in 4A watching Sheldon explain to her the probabilities of his offspring with Penny being a genius and another Homo Novus. The last 48 hours for her had been hell, she had gotten terribly depressed, so when Sheldon called her earlier to come over, she didn't have the mental strength to resist, resulting in her being there now. She had been just watching him now for over 20 minutes, not even listening that much as he over elaborated his analysis, working his way up to his conclusion, she just sat there looking at him, trying to reconcile in her mind, that this might be the last time they did something like this together.

"Amy…..Amy." his words broke her out of her trance as she now locked her eyes on his deep blue orbs.

"I'm sorry Sheldon." she quietly answered.

"Have you been listening to me?" he actually sounded hurt.

Amy nodded, "Yes, I agree with your analysis and conclusion. There is definitely a very positive chance the child will be blessed with your intelligence."

Sheldon nodded and smiled that she had been listening. "Good, I'm glad you agree. That brings us to the next step in my plan, keeping Penny from damaging the baby. This will require a lot of work on your part."

Amy blinked, 'us, my part', reran in Amy's brain, "I don't understand."

"Of course you don't, because I haven't explained it yet." Sheldon responded.

Sheldon spent the next hour explaining to Amy how they would need to monitor and control Penny's pregnancy to make sure the baby wasn't damaged by Penny's lifestyle. What shocked Amy was that Sheldon considered her an integral part of his plan, even essential to its successful completion. However, while Amy was drinking some water she almost choked at the part where her and Sheldon got married before he petitioned for custody of the baby. "You want to marry me?" she barely got out.

"It only makes sense Amy, for a couple logical reasons. First, if we are to give the court a good reason to make Penny turn over the baby to me, two married people of our high academic and intelligence levels would be much more appealing then an on and off, single waitress/actress, with no steady job. Also, if you discount the opinion of most baby experts, that children are better off in a two parent household, our combined intelligence and the environment we would foster would be much better for nurturing a Homo Novus than anything Penny could provide." Sheldon sat back a satisfied smile on his face."

Amy had forgotten everything else he had said, she still couldn't believe what he had just heard him say. "Oh." Amy softly said, while her mind screamed, 'he wants to marry me!'