Chapter 18 - The Turnaround
A/N This is a short chapter, but I wanted to get something out to you all this week, instead of making you wait for a longer chapter.
Penny slowly opened her eyes to find herself laying down on the couch with her mother looking down at her, her father standing behind her, and the feeling of a cool cloth on her forehead. As her mind started to become fully cognitive she slowly remembered what happened, she saw her parents in the kitchen and thought she saw Leonard, but it was probably only a hallucination, she thought she probably fainted then. She was immediately ashamed at her actions, remembering how her mother told her she needed to eat and sleep to take care of herself.
"Sweetie are you feeling better?" Meryl said to her now awake daughter.
Tears came to Penny's eyes. "I'm sorry mom, I dreamed I saw Leonard and I….I….I'm sorry."
"Honey, you….." before Meryl could finish her sentence, Leonard walked in with another damp wash cloth, and Meryl looked up at him, then back to her daughter who was wide eyed.
"Leonard!" Penny gasped.
"Hi." Leonard shyly responded, then walked up to the couch, passing the cloth to Penny's mom as she moved away so Leonard could kneel next to the couch and Penny.
"What…..what are you doing here?" She was so shocked to see him she couldn't even think what to say and started breathing heavy again.
Leonard just gently smiled down at her, "I'm here to see you."
Meryl grabbed Wyatt's hand and pulled him towards the door of the living room with her, Penny was fine and they needed to be alone. She didn't know if her daughter and Leonard even noticed they were leaving as they just stared at each other for a few moments. Meryl wanted so badly to listen in but instead took Wyatt back to the kitchen where they both sat nervously waiting for whatever was going to happen next to happen.
Leonard gently put his hand on Penny's cheek, making her naturally close her eyes and push her face against his palm, he gave her a small quick sort of sad smile. "I'm here to beg your forgiveness."
Penny's eyes shot open and went wide, again. "HUH?"
Leonard, with his other hand took one of Penny's hands and with his hand still along side her face moved to push her hair behind her ear. It was something he did on instinct and something she took for granted, but now it sent emotions flooding through her. He then got up off his knees to sit on the couch next to her, not letting go of her hand, as she moved to give him room, again on instinct, she was still stunned at him being there so close to her. "Can we talk?" Penny just nodded, too stunned to talk.
Leonard's face was now serious, "I came to say I'm sorry for being such a ass. I love you, Penny, I've never stopped loving you. I came here to beg you to consider taking me back" he looked at the floor, "Back on my knees if you want."
Penny could barely control herself from throwing herself into his arms, but she was now so confused, she was scared and actually distrusting what was happening. "Leonard…..why?"
"I know I love you Penny and I want to be with you." Leonard looked at her in a pleading way and she melted right there, she didn't know what was going on but she knew she was unable to deny him anything at that moment.
"Leonard, I don't understand what's happening?" was all she could get out as she looked at him trying not to cry. He was so close to her, holding her hand and her face, his touch and his smell were intoxicating to Penny, and though she was confused still, she didn't want it ever to end.
Leonard's face turned serious again and he swallowed, he had been trying to figure out what to say on the whole drive to her parents house and he still felt inadequate. "Penny, I am so sorry I ran away after everything happened. I should have stayed and talked to you, I was such a coward and what I did to you was terrible. I really don't know if you can ever forgive me, but I wanted to tell you how sorry I am and try to make amends for what I did."
Penny blinked again, his words were only confusing her more as she tried to understand what he was saying to her and wondering 'Was this really happening, was Leonard actually apologizing to her?' "Leonard.."
Leonard cut her off, to stop her, by putting one of his fingers gently over her lips, "Penny, please just hear me out, I really need to say this first, okay." Penny just nodded.
"Penny I now truly understand that it was a mistake, and I am ashamed I made you feel so bad about it. I'm ashamed I was so cruel to you and wouldn't listen to your side of it or really listen to you telling me you love me." Leonard sighed, "Penny I'm especially sorry I did not really listen to you telling me you love me, I hate myself for that."
Leonard sighed again, then sat there quiet for a moment before he continued, after taking a deep breath. "I am also ashamed that I had to have the same thing almost happen to me before I fully understood what happened to you, I never felt like such a idiot before in my life."
Penny's eyes went wide again, when he said the same thing almost happened to him. "Leonard?"
Leonard then held up his hand, to cut her off again. "Please just let me finish while I have the nerve, please." Penny just nodded again.
"After our Skype session before New Years, I didn't know what to do, I knew I still loved you but I just couldn't figure out what to do and the unknowing was killing me. I sat there for hours, then finally went back to my apartment to lay in bed and think. I tossed and turned, trying to just sleep, so when a couple of colleagues came by to get me for a New Years Eve drink, I went gladly, hoping to drown the pain in beer." Penny had wanted to do that since she found out she was pregnant so she just nodded and he nodded back.
"Well I did a good job of it and got smashed, like Sheldon did at the awards banquet we went to with him. And just like Sheldon, I didn't know what I was doing at all, after it happened." He looked at Penny, his heart hurting at the apprehensive expression on her face, he needed to continue. "She was somebody I work with and she took me home, I passed out when she got me in my apartment, and when I woke up again she had spent the night there with me to take care of me." Penny now just nodded a very sad expression on her face. "Later when I was feeling better she came on to me, I had no idea she was going to do that, I really mean that, Penny." Leonard sighed, "I know, I'm stupid…..but I didn't even kiss her or let it go anywhere, nothing happened Penny, I promise." Penny just nodded again, feeling immensely relieved.
So Leonard continued, " But at that moment, I seemed to become more sober and was able to really think again, it also made me truly understand what happened to you. I was in a my apartment with a woman I would never have sex with because I still loved you and I realized that if she had seduced me before I sobered up she could have done anything she wanted with me and there was nothing I could do. It wasn't exactly the same but basically it wasn't much different, it was a mistake on my part, a situation I would never be in if I was sober and if I could have corrected it I would have in a minute."
Leonard then looked in Penny's eyes, "I am so sorry, I feel like I betrayed you when you needed me most, I feel like an idiot that it had to go that far before I could truly understand and I do understand if you angry at me. I understand it was just a mistake, something you would have never done consciously, it could have happened to anyone, and I was a fool to even consider it somehow meant something it didn't. I don't know if you could ever forgive me, but maybe you could let me try to make amends and maybe think about us again?"
Penny forgave him already, she still felt everything was her fault and she loved him for trying to take the blame on himself even when she would never put any blame on him. She wanted to just be with him again, but there was still one problem that they hadn't discussed, there was still the baby. "Leonard, remember I'm still pregnant." She softly responded.
Leonard nodded. "I thought about that a lot too on the way here, and after I finally understood what happened, I guess it just doesn't matter." Leonard then mentally slapped himself and corrected himself, "I'm not saying the baby doesn't matter, a baby is very important, but as I see it the baby is mostly you anyway, and I love you, so I will love the baby. I don't even mind we'll never find out who the father is, I would just like to be in the child's life, if you would let me."
Penny just sat there staring in awe at him, again breathing heavily, it confused Leonard and he started to panic. "Penny, I am really sorry and even thought I am a complete fool, and the biggest hypocrite in the world, believe me that I do love you and…." he didn't get to finish.
Tears fell down Penny's face, "Please Leonard, please don't say anything else, you had me when you said you love me and would love the baby." she whispered.
Leonard stopped talking waiting for what was to come next, and what happened next, happened so fast, he was caught off guard. Penny was suddenly in his arms, kissing him and crying at the same time, making his whole face wet with her tears, but he didn't notice as he kissed her damp lips back. He didn't know how long they kissed and didn't care, it just felt so good to kiss her again, and after a while they finally settled into just hugging each other tight. Penny now in his lap, her head on his shoulder and her arms wrapped tightly around his neck, like she was hanging on for dear life. However, Leonard could feel his shoulder becoming wet and he knew she was still crying which worried him.
Leonard started to rub her back, like he had done before when she was upset and felt her pull herself closer to him. There was something Leonard also noticed while he held her, Penny was so skinny, almost skin and bones, and it made him feel horrible that he was probably part of the reason she was like that. "Penny, don't cry Honey, tell me what is wrong, let me fix it."
Penny's eyes were closed tight but she couldn't stop the tears from flowing, "I'm afraid to let you go. I'm afraid to loose you again." she croaked out.
Leonard now sniffed as a couple tears came running down his cheeks, he was so ashamed he did this to her. "Penny, I promise I won't leave, I stay as long as you want me."
Leonard almost started to cry himself when Penny said her next words, "Leonard, I want you forever."
Leonard now squeezed her, "Then you have me forever. Will you marry me?"
Leonard now felt her head nodding, and heard a "Yes", as she answered. Penny then quietly told him, "Leonard, I don't want to wait anymore, I want to be your wife as soon as we can get married." She never wanted to take the chance of loosing him again.
"Anything you want. As soon as we can. I would like that too." Leonard responded and he felt her squeeze him harder, it actually felt good to him.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxWRONG BABYxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
It had been over an hour and Meryl couldn't take it any longer, so she went to the living room, immediately noticing no talking coming from it as she approached, making her worry a little inside. However when she went quietly in, she saw she shouldn't have worried, Leonard was sitting on the couch with her daughter in his lap, both of them in each others arms, their heads on each others shoulders, and both had their eyes closed. If Meryl didn't know better she would think they were asleep, but just watching her daughter breathe she knew they were awake, just holding each other tight. Meryl also knew they just needed quiet time together now, so remembering that Leonard's whole biological clock was messed up from the huge time zone change and her daughter hadn't sleep well for weeks, she knew what she should do. "Umm Penny."
Penny opened her eyes and lifted slightly off Leonard, just enough to see her mother, while not letting go of him, something she couldn't do right now, if her life depended on it. "Yes mom."
"Honey, Leonard is probably tired and I bet you are too. Why don't you both get a nap and then you can eat something."
Penny's eyes said thank you as she nodded, then she put her head on Leonard's shoulder again, whispering, "Sweetie do you want to lie down for a couple hours and get some sleep?"
Leonard nodded, "I could use some sleep." He hated to move Penny off of him, her being against him felt so good, but the thought of holding her in bed, while he got some sleep, was enough to move him.
Meryl just watched as they reluctantly got up then took Leonard's bags up the stairs. Meryl didn't know or care what her daughter and Leonard did when they got to their room, because she noticed something that made her heart soar. Penny had been wearing her engagement ring around her neck on a chain with a heart locket, since she came back home and now as she went upstairs with Leonard, it was back on her left hand, it brought a tear to Meryl's eye.