Here's the thing about Stefan Salvatore.
He was the first person to care about her post-vampirism. Damon wanted to stake her. Her mom freaked. Bonnie and Elena flinched away from her. But Stefan. He was too serious faces, ice cream, rabbit fur between her teeth, 'I won't let anything happen to you,' and for a while, a rock. She was a sober sponsor, a friend, Captain of Team-Stefan and 'not going to happen' all rolled into a ball of feels.
But their friendship was also silence. It was an inability to deal and quiet, painful moments. There were brittle truths between them, secrets and blood. Her blood, his blood and his inability to handle it. There was a ghost of a ripper between them, wounds inflicted by Damon and their own screw ups.
Stefan was her first vampire friend. Her first friend as a vampire and the person who taught her you couldn't always save people. They had to save themselves. More importantly, there had to be something to save them from.
So when she turned a corner at the swap meet on Honolulu and found him standing in front of her, she wasn't as surprised as she should've been. He had tipped his shades down so she could see his eyes, and his hands were shoved into his pockets. His shoulders were rounded just a little, as if there was a weight that was just a touch too heavy.
"Hey."
"Stefan." She crossed her arms, head tilting. "Fancy seeing you here. Wanted some sun?"
His eyebrows tucked together a little, the expression so familiar it made her chest ache. She loved this man. She would never be in love with him, they'd both destroyed that possibility with their choices. As dear as he was to her and as much as she missed him, his face wasn't who she thought of at night.
"I don't particularly share your love of beaches." Stefan quietly, expression pensive. A little unsure.
Caroline nodded, lips pursing. "Too bright to brood?"
He sighed, eyes moving to focus on the stalls. "I came to apologize."
Hands shifting to her hips, she cocked an eyebrow at him. "For what, exactly? Not returning my phone calls? Ignoring my text messages? Ten years of silence? I've actually talked to Damon more often than you in the last decade. But please, enlighten me on what exactly this mythical apology is and what it covers."
He shifted, hands leaving his pockets to run through his hair. "I'm an ass."
"Yup. Go on."
Lips pressed into a thin line, Stefan finally sighed. "I didn't handle Elena choosing Damon well. I needed... to process. Alone. And then at your mom's funeral, I guess..."
She lifted a finger, eyes dark. "Mom gets left out of this."
He watched her and then nodded. "Caroline. I was a selfish ass. Please forgive me."
Caroline considered his words, all the words he wasn't saying and lifted her hand, finger jabbing in his direction.
"Look. I totally would judge you way harder, had I not recently gone on a year long sabbatical from life. But I did. So I can be gracious and understanding about needing space. What I have an issue with is that it took you ten years and a funeral to realize that you're an ass. I feel like that epiphany should've slapped you with a clue-bat years ago."
"I know."
She scowled at him. "You ignored me! Deliberately. You didn't change your number for six years - yes, I kept track of your stupid voicemail messages - but you let me hanging. Seriously, Stefan? The only reason I didn't find you, pull that stick out of your ass and beat you with it is because we both know it would've done zero good."
Stefan frowned at her. "Do we?"
"Please. If a hundred plus years of intervention-ing by people more willing than I am to beat sense back into you - hello, Lexi? - if she didn't teach you that you're a dick, what good would it have done me? Also, I have a life outside the ridiculous Salvatore drama. You're not my life's mission, but I thought you were my friend."
Stefan shoved his sunglasses into his hair and opened his hands, expression pleading. "You are. What can I do?"
"I dunno."
"Caroline - give me something. Please."
"Don't! I did give you something. Sober sponsor? Best friend? I fought for you Stefan. I fought a lot. But do you know what my adult epiphany was? I'm done fighting for people who don't fight for me." She tossed her hair, eyes narrowing. "What do you want?"
"What do I want?" Stefan asked slowly. "I want us to be friends again. I want to know that I haven't screwed us up beyond repair."
"You know, I was completely justified in my time out, and I still groveled. Do you know why? Because justified or not, I hurt people who matter to me." She motioned between them. "There is a lack of groveling."
Stefan put his hands back in his pockets. "Caroline. I screwed up. I let myself wallow. It's amazingly easy to do. You find someplace remote and avoid human contact."
"Great. I just love knowing throwing me away was easy." She said flatly, arms crossing across her chest.
"I listened to all your voice-mails and read your texts." Stefan said, stopping her cold. "They reminded me that there was world outside myself. I didn't want that, that reminder. But I still waited for them. I missed them when they stopped. I know that I should have called, that I took your friendship for granted. I'm sorry."
"Well," Caroline said finally. Hand on hip, she tapped her foot, considering. "I'll accept that as a start. You may buy me lunch."
"Lunch." He said, eyes flickering through the stalls.
"There's a food truck I want to try." She pointed. "It's that way. Food first. Then I'll decide if you've groveled enough."
She had to give him credit. He kept his mouth shut until they were both fork deep in the Hawaiian chicken and rice combo that was delicious. Food was probably one of her favorite things about traveling. Well, and shopping. Wine. Anyway, this was amazing.
"Spend a lot of time on beaches?"
"Oh God." Caroline sighed. "Your small talk still sucks."
Stefan looked affronted. "It's doesn't."
"So does." She shook her head. "I mean. Seriously? You're pouting now?"
"I don't pout."
She rolled her eyes. "I'm pretty sure you have three expressions: brooding, grumpy and pouting."
"Why do I want to be friends with you again?" He asked sourly.
"Duh. I'm awesome."
Stefan glanced at her. "Apparently, lots of people think that. Including original people."
Caroline squinted at him. "You heard about that?"
Stefan shrugged. "He was hard to miss."
Caroline dug into her food. She wasn't ashamed of her choice, but she'd hoped to avoid this discussion a little longer. From the way that Stefan had glared at Klaus during those two days she wasn't thinking about, she'd known it would come up eventually.
Still.
"We aren't together."
His eyes slid over. "But you want to be. You'd never let him that close again otherwise."
She pointed her fork at him. "I'm considering."
"Caroline." His voice was soft, warning. "Klaus is either a 'yes' or 'no' person. 'No' goes badly; he doesn't accept maybe."
"Look," she said firmly. "What is going on between Klaus and me is really none of your business. My mom, she'd had the right to an opinion. Bonnie gets to voice her opinion, but I get the option of ignoring it. You've been bumped to the C-Team. You're not even best friend back-up. So you don't get an opinion."
She scoped up a bite of rice and ignored his expression and frowned a little. "Although, I suppose it's more your opinion doesn't matter. I'm sure you have one."
He stared at her, fork hovering in the air between them. "C-Team?"
"I decided to break down my friendships in ways that even very simple people could understand. Bonnie and Rebekah? A-Team."
"B-Team?"
"The roster flunked."
He blinked at her. "Does Rebekah know your using that horrible movie as a reference to her?"
Caroline held up a finger. "First of all, I love that movie, thank you very much. They flew a tank. And only an idiot would actually think that in a similar situation that Bonnie and Bekah wouldn't be similarly bad ass."
"So you haven't told her."
"Shut up."
Stefan cleared his throat, smile flickering across his face. "How does one move up in the ranks of friendship, exactly?"
"You might try actually being a friend, instead of not." She retorted. Taking a deep breath, she stabbed a piece of chicken. "Look. I don't need you to accept my decision about Klaus. I'm sorry if that's going to be problem between us, but I'm done using the Salvatore moral compass. It's crap anyway."
"Moral compass?" Stephen snorted. "Some days I have enough trouble finding my way out of bed."
Caroline scowled at him. "I'm not saying that you don't try. You'd rather eat defenseless bunnies than people. I totally get that. Ripper issues. You're occasionally reliable and you're loyal. My issue is how much judging goes on between the two of you."
"I don't want you to make my mistakes." Stefan said finally.
"See, that's the thing. Even if I decided to do something similar, even if it's the same thing you did, they'd be my mistakes. Not yours."
He clenched his hands. "It's not that simple."
"Of course it's not. Stefan. I'll never, ever forget that you were there for me when I changed. But I'm not you. I'm definitely not Damon. I won't live my life guilty for things I can't change. I definitely refuse to live my life as if I'm the only person in this world who matters. The Salvatore rules for vampires kind of suck."
"So where does that leave us?" He asked finally. "Friends? Enemies? Nothing?"
"Rebekah is important to me." She told him quietly. "Amazingly enough, so is Klaus. Bonnie is tangled up in things I don't know about. Yet. So I guess it depends on what you plan to do."
"He did something to Damon." Stefan said tightly. "Klaus. I know."
Caroline met his eyes. Held them. "Damon hurt me. I can't be sorry that Klaus cares. I am sorry that it hurts you."
Stefan's jaw clenched. "You told him?"
She refused to flinch. To look away. "You know what? It would serve Damon right if I gave up all those details. You know, the ones you didn't want to hear, the ones that everyone else brushed off?"
His knuckles turned white, but Stefan looked away first. "He's my brother."
Caroline took a deep, calming breath and sighed. "I know. It's why I haven't told him."
Stefan looked back at her. Surprise flickered across his face and she frowned at him.
"Seriously. I don't get this attitude of yours. I know Damon is your brother, but he's also a giant douche-nozzle. We both know he goes and does what he wants, doesn't care who he hurts and somehow avoids consequences."
Stefan shifted uncomfortably. "I don't..."
"Oh don't even. Captain of Team-Stefan here. I was there for the wonder that was the Stefan-Elena-Damon triangle from hell."
"I know." His jaw moved. "Care."
Caroline huffed at him. "Look, I don't know what Klaus thinks he knows about Damon, and I don't intend to enlighten him. But Stefan, I'm not an excuse. For any of you. I might be a reason - part of a reason - but Klaus doesn't need those to hurt people. We both know that. That he has chooses to both act and not to act on my behalf or some idea of my behalf… well, I've made it clear I won't be an excuse."
"You think he cares about what you think?"
Caroline rolled her eyes. "Please. You do too. It's why I was bait. So let's save this moral high ground you're trying to take for a distant point in the future when you might actually have some. I know he tortured Damon. I know that he isn't forgiving enough to leave it at that, and there are probably horrible compulsions in place. I'm absolutely certain that Elena called you."
Stefan flinched and Caroline stared him down. "How many phone calls did it take to get you here? One? Three? So are you here because you want to be friends or if you want me to ask Klaus to reverse what he did."
"Care. It's not like that."
"Really?"
"Yes," Stefan said firmly. "She called. She told me what was going on, but that was weeks ago. If that was all I wanted - Damon free of compulsion - I would have said so."
"Really? I'm not sure I believe you."
"I know." Stefan admitted.
Caroline looked away and sighed. "I've deleted four messages from her. Let me make things clear. This is me, telling you that I'm not asking Klaus to let it go. Elena killed Kol. Damon hurt me. We're all lucky Klaus settled for this."
Stefan frowned at her. "This is what you want? Lifetimes spent justifying him?"
Caroline shook her head. "I'm not his justification, his excuse or his moral compass. That's more than anyone can be to someone. What's between us is something else entirely. I'm still figuring it out. But I can promise you this, Stefan Salvatore. If I choose him, I choose all of him. I have too. Anything else is dooming us before we start."
"And if he chooses to burn the world?"
Caroline sighed. "I have to trust that he won't push me past my breaking point. Isn't that part of every relationship? Trust?"
"Do you trust him?"
"Not enough," she said honestly. "Not yet. But if I don't, if I can't then what's the point?"
Stefan shook his head, eyes scanning the crowd. "Does he know that? Is he here?"
"I have no idea. I haven't seen him in a week or so." She rested her chin in her palm and studied him. "I'm letting him make the next move."
"And you're okay with that?" He asked carefully. "You?"
"Up till this point," Caroline said slowly. "I've set our pace. I've given him his boundaries and he's... not respected and not really allowed them, but he's always acknowledged them. So yes. I'm dealing with it. It's not really about turns... ugh. I don't know. It seemed like a good idea at the time."
"Caroline." He said quietly. "Are you sure?"
"Yes."
He opened his mouth and closed it at her look.
"You know I don't understand?" She groused, fiddling with her fork. "The absolute blind hypocrisy of people who say they're my friends. Including you."
"We're just trying to protect you." Stefan said firmly. "Klaus is dangerous. He's hurt a lot of people we care about. People you care about."
"Yeah, well, in a lot of ways Damon is my Klaus. And not one of you did a single thing about it. You think I don't look at what Klaus has done, see the potential violence?" She scowled at him. "You conveniently forget, I've been tortured. I've been compelled. I know what it's like to have the people I love betray me. Hello, my dad anyone? Let's not forget that every single time, Tyler choose someone else. Something else. You know how that ended? Tyler crashing a vacation with my mom and threatening both of us. And do you know, that when I've needed someone - whether I wanted it or not - Klaus was there?"
"That doesn't make what he's done better." Stefan said.
"Oh, but you get a free pass?"
Stefan flinched. "No. None of us do."
"Really? Because from a man who once pointed out that we all do terrible things, you're sure sitting pretty with your judgement right now."
"Caroline." Stefan said firmly. "I didn't come here to fight about Klaus. I didn't even come here to talk about Elena and Damon."
Caroline cleaned up her trash and snapped her recyclable container closed. She sighed, finally turning to face him. "I know this is hard to imagine. But I've actually thought about this, him. What saying yes means. This isn't a grief induced rebound, this isn't a whim. I know what he is. I know what Klaus is capable of doing."
Stefan folded his hands. "No you don't. You don't know half of it. He's been careful with you."
"He said something similar." She admitted. "Said I just hadn't lived through enough horror."
"Then as someone who's lived that nightmare, trust me when I say you don't know."
Caroline looked at Stefan. Gave herself a moment to look at his face, the set of his shoulders. To memorize this, because after today, he might decide to walk away. She wasn't sure he'd decided to walk back.
"Stefan."
He looked at her, eyebrow lifted in a silent question.
"You've killed. You've bled, murdered, and rampaged. I looked into it, you know. Chicago." He stared at her, eyes wide. "I've explored vampire bars, clubs. I've asked around. You left an impression."
"Care..."
"I left you voice-mails for six years." She told him quietly. "Knowing full well what Stefan-the-Ripper can do. I've met him. I left you texts knowing that Stefan Salvatore is an ass who broods too much and thinks he's the only right person in the world. The man who'd rather give up on his friendships than fight for them, because sometimes he doubts his self-worth. The one who lets guilt eat at him, who loves the same woman as his brother, but can't understand why. So when I tell you I know what Klaus is capable of doing, don't patronize me. Because while you think he'd burn the world, you're wrong."
Picking up her bag, she wrote her number on her napkin and shoved it at him. "Don't throw me away again. I won't be this nice a second time."
Stefan voice stopped her as she turned to leave.
"What would he do, then?"
She looked over her should. Arched a brow.
"Klaus." Stefan clarified. "What would he do, if pushed."
"If pushed to that point, he'd want the world to suffer." She said quietly. "He'd want their blood between his teeth. He'd lay waste and yes, the world might burn to ash, but that end is clean. Fast. There'd be no mercy, no swift end for the nightmare he'd create."
Stefan was pale. "And this is the man you love."
Caroline snorted. "I never said I loved him. There is no love without trust. Didn't I just tell you I didn't trust him enough for that?"
Stefan shook his head. "You must trust him on some level, if your letting him make the next move. Control freak on crack, remember?"
Chin lifting, she hefted her bag. "Goodbye, Stefan. Don't be a stranger this time."
Stefan ran his fingers through his hair, sighing. It'd gone better than he'd feared and not as well as he'd hoped. That was probably more than he deserved.
"Caroline's assessment is not wrong. Although she doesn't see herself as enough of a reason to turn civilization to ruin. I do."
Stefan went very still before turning to face the hybrid standing a few feet away. He looked relaxed, dressed in loose, comfortable clothing that spoke of the heat. But there was a look Stefan couldn't read.
"How long were you listening?"
The smile that bloomed along Klaus' face was satisfied. "Come now, Stefan. You can't imagine I'd let anyone from your wretched hometown near her without some, let's call it... supervision."
Stefan rolled his eyes. "This isn't a custody battle."
"Of course not. If I thought for a moment you were an actual threat, they'd never find your remains." He tilted his head, dimples flashing. "Although, no promises that I'll actually kill you."
"So what? You'll just stalk her from a distance?" Stefan crossed his arms and frowned. "Fishing for information?"
Klaus laughed, hands going to his pockets as he walked closer. "Not quite. I've made it clear that she'll be the one to tell me what happened with your brother."
"She doesn't seem all that willing to talk about it."
"Ah, but eternity is a long time. You noticed how Caroline avoided discussing details? She knows I'm keeping a close watch, doesn't want word getting back to me. She probably expected you." His smile widened. "I've taken the necessary steps to ensure that Damon will be around for as long as it takes. I suggest you stay out of it."
"Damon is my brother." Stefan said stiffly.
"Come now, Stefan. What can you do?" Klaus motioned with a hand. "Caroline has stated that she'll not interfere. You risk alienating her if you try force, but maybe that declaration of friendship was false? Still caught in the Doppelgänger's web, Salvatore?"
"I meant what I said." Stefan growled. "Caroline is important to me."
"But not as important as the Doppelgänger." Klaus taunted. "But I suppose you've been given the time to show your true feelings."
"If Elena was human, you'd still be chasing her." Stefan replied, eyes narrowing. "Don't act like Caroline is worth more than your hybrid army."
Stepping closer, Klaus let the amusement drain from his face. "I'd be careful. It's a dangerous game, telling me what I would or would not do. As for Caroline, why don't you ask your brother what I consider her worth."
"I'll find a way to break whatever you've done to him."
"Tell me Stefan. What loyalty ties you to your brother? He'd rather amusing under the right circumstances, but they're so rare. What will you do once you've set him free? Watch the doppelgänger return to his arms? Does it fulfill some masochistic need to see them, hear them together?"
"You know nothing." Stefan said flatly.
"I've dug through all the corners of his mind," Klaus corrected, iron filling his eyes. "I've peeled flesh and muscle from bone. There is very little I do not know about Damon Salvatore. What I do not understand is your continued defense."
Stefan said nothing.
"Come now, Stefan. Regale me with your platitudes and excuses. Tell me what I learned is wrong. Tell me that what Caroline refuses to speak of isn't what I believe it to be. Rape? Compulsion? Did he terrorize her?"
Klaus paused, watching him from eyes tinted yellow. "But that's right. You don't know."
"You cannot possibly," Stefan started, but Klaus cut him off by grabbing his throat.
"I can do whatever I want." Klaus said casually. "This is the last and only warning you'll get from me. The last time I was lax, Berlin happened. Be very, very careful in the coming years, Stefan. I will broke no interference from you or anyone else."
Stefan rubbed his throat when Klaus let go. "You don't have her yet."
Klaus laughed. "Oh, don't be obtuse, Stefan. We both know nothing is ever simple with Caroline Forbes. That she has decided to give me a chance after a mere two decades is as much her being contrary as it is actual interest."
"Is that why the older vampire population has suddenly declined?" Stefan asked. He shrugged at Klaus' raised row. "People are starting to notice."
"For a supposed hermit, you're well informed."
"Some of us have friends."
"Caroline's safety is important to me. But so is the well being of my family. Slipping back into anonymity requires us to be unrecognizable."
"Why tell me this?" Stefanasked wearily. "You've never been the sharing type."
"You're one of the few who can identify me on sight. My family. One of the few who knows about Caroline." His posture was relaxed but the look behind Klaus eyes left Stefan cold. "Remember all those reason you've tried to discourage her, mate. I'll make them seem generous should you breath a word of her existence."
"I'd never put Caroline in danger." Stefan said flatly.
"Unless it benefited the doppelgänger or your brother," Klaus corrected. "Caroline might be upset should I break you, but I'm willing to spend a few decades earning her forgiveness."
"You think she'll hold that grudge for only a few decades?"
Klaus' dimples flashed. "For those on the C-Team? She'd hold that grudge out of spite. But a bed can be lonely and I'm very persuasive."
"Here I thought you wanted to foster trust." Stefan rebuked.
"Don't let her wariness confuse you. Aren't you the one who pointed out she must trust me to a degree to agree to this? To me?"
"I'm not sure I'm the confused one." Stefan replied.
Klaus shrugged. "Caroline has agreed to consider us. Should you interfere I can guarantee the future she described - civilizations in ruins - will become your existence. Ask your brother about that."
"More threats?""
"She'll forgive you. She'll allow you in her life, but she won't forget. Twenty years is quite the stretch for a young vampire. You abandoned her for ten of those years. Even if she trusts you, even if she values you, who will her first choices be in a crisis? Rebekah. Me. Probably the witch."
"You don't know that."
"Don't I?" Klaus murmured. "I must ask. Why are you so against this? Haven't I proved this isn't a passing fancy?"
Stefan clenched his teeth. "That's what I'm afraid of. You'll destroy her."
Klaus shook his head. "She'll change. Life has a way of altering all of us. But what continues to baffle me is this belief that I'd let something destroy her. That she'd let me make that decision for her. Caroline is stronger than I think you realize."
"It might not matter." Stefan pointed out. "You said it yourself. She's a baby vampire."
"Caroline is mine." There was a note in his voice, an edge of finality. "She's more than strong enough to handle what I and life throw at her. But do not think for one moment that I will not protect what is between us with violence."
"Will she be like you're family then? I'm sure they enjoyed centuries in coffins."
"You'll have to ask them. Now, I've given you your chance. The next time you try to interfere, I'll measure your entrails."
Stefan watched Klaus walk away and clenched his jaw. He knew the hybrids threats were not idle. Closing his eyes, he took a deep centering breath before making a call.
"Did it work?"
"She doesn't want to get involved."
"But she's my friend." Elena said forcefully. "He doesn't talk to me, he won't look at me. We all know Klaus did something! Did you tell her that?"
"She knows, Elena."
"I don't understand."
Stefan swallowed. He did. Oh, he did. "Give her some time, okay?"
"I don't know what she needs time for." Elena said finally. "She's the one who is always going on about how friends help each other. I love him."
"I know. I'll talk to you later."
He shut his phone and closed his eyes warily. Klaus never destroyed on person when he could destroy three. He tortured Damon in response to what had been done to Caroline. He weaved his compulsion to hurt Elena, to let her see but never touch what she wanted. It wasn't five hundred years of hide and seek, but in some ways it was worse than what he'd done to Katherine. Worse, Stefan knew he'd be watching, waiting for other opportunities to strike.
Katherine had never killed his family, only defied him. Her self-preservation was too deeply engrained to kill any of his siblings. Elena had killed Kol and Klaus would never forget that.
As for him... Klaus knew the hell Stefan now lived in. Elena calling in tears, begging for help. The grinding in his chest each time they talked, each time she professed her love for Damon. The guilt that would eat at him if he made a move now, won her back.
It was a vicious circle that might not end. He'd told Caroline that he wanted to avoid getting pulled back into it, wasn't that why he isolated himself for ten years? And yet, here he was on Hawaii having tried and failed to talk to Caroline about Klaus. He had no answer, no solution for Damon.
Hands going to his pockets, he sighed.
He hoped Caroline was right when she said she knew what she was getting into. Because Klaus wasn't going to walk away. He wasn't going to let her go. She was involved with a hybrid whose grudges held for hundred of years, who carted his family like macabre trophies and who watched her with open, dangerous possession.
The problem was that Caroline watched back.
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