A/N: Again this was a hard chapter to write, and there is a little religious reference in it so I hope I don't offend anyone.

Chapter 33 - Attempting Closure

Amy only stayed in the room a minute after completing her conversation with the Hospital therapist and Bernadette, Sheldon being on her mind the whole time. She excused herself and went back down the corridor to the balcony to rejoin Sheldon, going over in her mind what she was going to tell him. She didn't have long to wait to talk to him as he rushed over to her as soon as she walked through the door into the night.

"Where have you been?" Sheldon greeted her in a demanding way, Howard following him to Amy and shrugging when he asked that.

"I was checking on why Leonard didn't come out with us, like I told you before I left. Really Sheldon why do you ask the obvious." Amy was a little angry at him now because of his tone.

Sheldon nodded to her remark, "I'm sorry, this waiting is disconcerting for me. What did you find out."

Amy now felt sorry for him, his admitting being upset pulled at her heart, "It seems while Raj was bring Leonard out of the room, Penny called for him so he went back to her."

"Why would she do that, I am the father, I am the one who should be in there." Sheldon now protested.

"Sheldon, Leonard is in there now with a crying Penny in his arms, comforting her. Would you like to replace him with Penny?" Amy looked at him, knowing what he would say.

Sheldon shook his head, "Maybe Leonard is the one who should be with her." he admitted.

"If you don't need me, I'm going back to Bernadette." Howard suddenly told them, getting a nod from Amy and nothing from Sheldon. So Howard went back inside and hurried to Penny's room, happy to get away from the drama on the balcony.

Sheldon just looked at Amy, he had been thinking about everything that happened since he got to the hospital. "It is his fault, it is all his fault." he mumbled.

"Sheldon he didn't make Penny miscarry." Amy tried to reason with him.

"If he didn't come back, this would have never happened." Sheldon barely got out, tears already coming from the edges of his eyes.

"Sheldon." Amy said softly, stunned that he was crying.

"If he didn't come back the baby would be alive. I should of stopped him." Sheldon repeated, as the tears now came down his cheeks.

"Sheldon, Honey, there was nothing you could do, it was an accident, there was nothing anyone could do." Amy had never seen him so upset, so it was a real shock to her when he took a step to her, wrapped his arms around her, put his head on her shoulder and cried harder. Amy just stood there, finally bringing her arms up to gently rub his back as her boyfriend hugged her for comfort.

Howard entered Penny's room to find Bernadette and the Hospital worker standing in the middle of the room watching Leonard and Penny who where wrapped in each others arms. Raj was sitting in one of the chairs just watching, so Howard walked quietly over to sit next to him, not sure what was all going on and reluctant to say anything until he did. However, Howard did notice Penny was not crying anymore, she would sniffle but she was definitely not crying like she was when he took Sheldon out and he thought she seemed to be trying to pull herself closer to Leonard.

That was exactly what Penny was trying to do, no matter how much blame she put on herself and how horrible she felt, the bottom line was that she needed Leonard now almost as much as she needed the air to breathe. Once she had decided months ago to be engaged to him, she had fully committed to him, in her mind they were going to be with each other forever. That is why it had almost destroyed her when he went to England, her future was now Leonard, she couldn't imagine being with anyone else, he had won both her heart and her mind, and to her there was no going back. Just being in his arms dulled the pain, she still felt like she betrayed her child, was a horrible mother and deserved anything bad that happened to her, but in Leonard's arms she knew she would never be alone, because however she felt, he was always there with her.

Penny didn't last that long, she had gone through the worst day of her life, both physically and mentally, her body was extremely weak, so it was really no surprise to Erin when Penny fell asleep in her fiancé's arms. The man having such a affect on the poor woman, made Erin realize immediately that her well being would be tied to him and that whatever help she provided would include this man too. She left the small blonde and went to the couple now still together on the bed, she needed to get him to let go of young woman and she needed to talk to him.

Leonard slightly jumped when he felt the hand on his shoulder and at first didn't realize someone was talking to him when Erin whispered in his ear. "She is asleep you need to let her gently onto the bed. I know you want to hold her, but she badly needs rest and being on the bed is better for her right now."

The woman talking to him was right, Leonard didn't want to let Penny go, ever since he first walked into her room all he wanted to do was hold her and make things better for her. So letting her go now seemed impossible for him until the woman's words went deep into his logical mind, he would never purposely hurt Penny, if the bed was better for her to rest on he knew he had to let her go, her wellbeing was the most important thing to him. Therefore, Leonard gently laid her back down on the bed, fixing her hair on her face after he put her head on her pillow and finally covering her so she would be warm.

Leonard just stayed there looking down at the angel that made his life worth living, the person he just wanted to take care of now and he would give his life to protect. He would have stayed there all night watching over her, if it wasn't for the hand that was trying to pull him away and that voice telling him that he needed to talk to this woman about Penny so she could get better. It was those words again that made him move, making Penny better was the primary thing Leonard wanted and he would do anything to make that happen.

Erin managed to get Leonard over to the far side of the room where they could talk, it was the best she felt she could do, the mans eyes told her that he would not go any further where he could not see the woman in the bed. The short blonde followed them both and the two young men sitting in the chairs kept sitting, their eyes locked on Erin and Leonard. The intense scrutiny Erin now felt was a little unnerving, especially since she really wanted to talk to this man alone.

"I would prefer we talk alone." Erin said to the small blonde.

Bernadette looked at Leonard and decided that was not going to happen. "Leonard do you want me to leave?"

Leonard had been barely paying attention, his eyes the whole time mostly on Penny sleeping peacefully in her bed. However Bernadette's question had only one answer right now to him, "No." he quietly said, he needed help right now, he knew he wasn't thinking clearly.

Bernadette nodded and looked at the therapist, who just nodded back, in acceptance that she would not be talking alone to Leonard. Bernadette then stepped away and said some words to Howard and Raj, which resulted in them both reluctantly leaving the room. It was now just Bernadette, Leonard and the therapist in the room with a sleeping Penny.

It was Bernadette who said the first words now, "Leonard are you okay."

Leonard just took a big breath in before he spoke back to Bernadette. "I love her." the only words coming out of his mouth.

Bernadette nodded, "I know you do, she knows it too. And I know she loves you Leonard."

It was obvious to Erin in that moment that the short blonde woman was not only the friend of the woman in the bed but also this man's friend and Erin though that it wasn't such a bad idea to have her after all. It also provided some valuable information to Erin, the intense hug had been a clue but now his confession of love and the short blonde woman verifying it, confirmed that these two people were in love with each other. Whatever had happened with the taller man was either resolved between them or was not severe enough to hurt the love between them.

"Do you mind me calling you Leonard." Erin asked him gently, she could tell this all was upsetting him too, so she needed to be careful with him. His nodding back to her was a good sign. "Leonard, it is normal for a woman to deeply morn the loss of her child even when that child has only been with her for a short time and she never got to hold it." Normally Erin would tell the man that it was normal for the father to morn too, but in this situation she would not say that to this man. "Different people morn different ways, so it is hard to definitely say how your fiancée with take this all, but one thing is for sure, it helps if she has something to hold on to, a thing that she can use to keep her grounded, a thing that will be with her until she can get over this thing. Leonard, it is obvious to me that she has that thing, that thing is you." Erin stopped to look at him, to see if he was understanding, and she though he was so she went on. "Leonard, you calmed her in just a few minutes and allowed her to rest, something she really needed. Leonard, I can help her, but you being there for her is going to be the only thing that will get her over this."

Leonard stared off and slowly nodded, before his eyes went to Erin's, "I'll do anything for her, just tell me what to do."

Erin smiled, he definitely loved her and by the way she clung to him, she loved him, people that much in love usually recovered quickly because they had each other. "I believe you, so here is what we have to do…" Erin spent the next hour telling Leonard and Bernadette ways to help Penny over the next few critical days.

Leonard and Bernadette spent the night in Penny's room, Bernadette on the couch, while Leonard who was still too wound up to sleep sat in a reclining chair in the room. Bernadette couldn't leave a still slightly distraught Leonard alone with her hurt best friend, she still felt that they both needed watching over and she was the one to watch over them. She directed Howard to come back early the next day with fresh clothes then got both herself and Leonard set for the long night in the room. No sooner laying down, all adrenaline now flushed from her body, Bernadette fell fast asleep, the stress of the last few hours winning over her mind's wanting to stay awake.

Leonard didn't do much better, even though he sat, over an hour after Bernadette fell asleep, watching and thinking about Penny, his mind still couldn't fight his bodies need to rest and eventually sleep. He kept repeating in his mind what the therapist told him on how to take care of Penny and how he knew he would take care of her for as long as it took, because he knew he was already committed to take care of her for the rest of his life. If anything he knew the events that lead up to this day, had actually made their love stronger, those months away from her only made him understand how much he needed her. Her actions over that time and her response to his return only confirmed to him that she did truly want him as much as he wanted her and that she wanted him forever. He didn't think it was possible to love someone as much as he loved her and with that thought his body surrendered and sleep took him over.

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Amy was still trying to get over what happened at the hospital, with Sheldon, as they now got ready back in his apartment, soon to be their apartment. He cried on her shoulder, for a long time, the emotion pouring out of him, something Amy wondered if she would ever see from him, it was both surprising and scary. She knew Sheldon well enough to understand that this was something he fought to avoid and that now becoming a slave to his emotion had to be very traumatizing to him. She did the best she could to comfort him and removed him from the source of his grief as soon as she could, knowing he couldn't go back in Penny's room that night again. Even now as he got ready for bed, he seemed not himself, his routine not producing any comfort for him like it normally did and he just continued to walk around looking like he was on the verge of crying again at any time.

So it was when she tucked him into his bed, that she did something she would have never done before with him, his pleading eyes as he looked up at her temporarily letting compassion over come her logic. She sat on the edge of his bed just looking into his eyes that seemed to glisten from wetness, he looked so lost and small in the bed, it tore at her heart and that same heart made her do what she would have never done. Amy stood up from the bed and pulled the sheets back, crawling in next to him and taking him into her arms, he never flinched, just laid his head on her shoulder and to Amy's surprise that is where he stayed until she noticed he fell asleep. Amy laid there for an hour, not able to sleep, as it sunk into her mind what just happened that night, there was nothing sexual about it, because it more it was intimate, Sheldon had just dropped all the walls around him and let her in.

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The next day Bernadette was more of an observer, watching Penny and Leonard interact the whole morning and afternoon. Leonard was awake and sitting on the edge of Penny's bed when Bernadette woke up, Penny's head on his shoulder with her hand tightly gripping the front of his shirt, like she was afraid he would leave her. He got her to eat something that morning like Erin had instructed him and even though Penny broke down crying a couple times during the day he was always able to quickly comfort her and her crying would stop. When Erin showed up there late morning, she just looked at the two of them then talked to her, seeming pleased at what was happening and gave Bernadette her card with number to call before she left.

It was late afternoon when Howard showed up from the airport with Penny's mother and the next half hour consisted of Penny crying again as the two women held each other tight. It was the first time Bernadette had ever heard Penny call her mother 'Mommy' and she seemed like a little child as she sobbed in her mother's arms. Bernadette noticed Leonard was different now too, the scared panicked man of yesterday, now looked on at the two women with sympathy and love, he had now turned back into Penny's rock, Erin's words the night before seeming to give him the confidence to be able to help Penny and get over his own personal grief. It was after an hour when Penny and her mother brought Leonard back into their little group, that Bernadette knew she wasn't needed there, so she said her goodbye and went home with her Husband. She only made it to their apartment parking lot before everything that happened in the last 24 hours caught up to her, making Howard sit in the car with his wife in his arms as she cried her eyes out.

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Penny went home the next day, Erin feeling confident that both Penny's fiancé and mother would be able to help her and providing both of them her number and the numbers of good therapists in the area for Penny when she was ready. Meryl and Leonard noticing how Penny seemed to be more relaxed as she returned to the familiarity of her own apartment, though she still was weak from all the happened to her and ended up in bed as soon as she got there. Even when her mother helped get her ready for the bed, the full size panties Penny put on, that she had gotten recently since she was pregnant, brought back memories and started her crying again, however the atmosphere of her being home seemed to comfort her quickly, along with her mother and Leonard both being close to her.

Leonard and Meryl had already worked out the sleeping arrangements before they left the hospital, but like any plan that one soon fell apart after Penny ate her dinner. Leonard had made her a soup she enjoyed and sat in the bed making sure she ate it, like Erin had told him, however he never thought she would do what she did when she finished. Meryl took the bowl so Leonard to get up, but he never had a chance as Penny just curled up on him and went to sleep. Leonard was afraid to move, Penny seemed so content, and Meryl just smiled at him and told him she would sleep on the couch. Penny never woke up till morning and Leonard never moved from that spot on the bed, falling into semi-sleeping situation all night, but content himself that his angel was resting so peacefully.

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Those 48 hours for Amy were confusing but interesting hours of her life, her boyfriend seemed to need her and the closeness between them that resulted was astonishing to Amy. Sheldon stayed home the next day, after the hospital confrontation, from work and Amy stayed with him, his actions of the night before making her curious and worried about his state of mind. She was happy she did stay home because they talked, a lot, and it wasn't about science, instead they talked about the subjects boyfriends and girlfriends talked about, their future and what they both wanted. It was the most amazing day she had with Sheldon, talking about things she always had wanted to talk to him about and finding out what he thought about their future. So she had been on an emotional high when she went to bed that night, not even imagining her amazing day was still not over.

Amy heard her bedroom door open and the padding of the feet as the person came up to her bed made her know it was Sheldon as she held her breath waiting for him to say something. "Amy are you awake?"

Amy turned to look at him, "Yes Sheldon."

Amy, I was wondering…" he never finished and Amy lifted the sheets and blanket for him to get in. He quickly joined her and when she pulled herself close to him, his response was not to flinch but to put his arm around her and pull her closer until her head rested on his chest. Her head on his chest and his arm around her was also the way they woke up the next morning.

Subsequently this Wednesday morning, even though they both went to work, Sheldon had stayed with her almost all morning, it was actually droll, his attitude towards most people meant people at the university really didn't care where he was as long as he wasn't around them. So he was able to stay with her without anyone saying a thing, and that where he was, talking to her as she worked, it was actually pleasant, Sheldon was actually talking to her like a boyfriend. Amy knew this part of Sheldon existed, Mary had told her, but she thought this part existed only for his mother and MeeMaw, she had only dreamed of him being this way with her. They were talking about something she never imaged he would talk about with her at this point in their relationship and only hoped they would talk about it sometime in the future together, children. Penny being pregnant with Sheldon's child had done something to him, something she couldn't really believe, Sheldon began to seriously think about a family of his own.

Amy looked across her lab at her boyfriend as he sat quietly right now playing on his phone, they had been talking most of the morning and he was now letting her catch up on her work, it seemed just being near her calmed him and Amy wanted to cry knowing she meant so much to him. However, his being there to seek comfort by just being around her made her question what she was about to do now. The small tissue sample had been delivered by courier today, while the rest of the undeveloped baby was transferred to a funeral home that specialized in miscarriage burials. They had tricked Leonard, when he signed for disposition of the remains he also signed for the tissue sample to be given to her and even though both her and Bernadette felt bad for tricking their friend, they had thought the therapist had been right.

So now Amy just had to prepare the sample and then put it into the new DNA sequencer the University just acquired, it would only take a couple of hours to find the results, then they would know. That was the problem, Amy had been sitting there with the sample on the lab table, for the last twenty minutes, not doing a thing as she went over in her mind what she was doing and if it was really right. But one look at her boyfriend made her question what she was doing, would it really help anything? She was deceiving Leonard and Penny by doing this and she wasn't sure it would really help, could it actually make things worse, that question kept going through her mind.

If Amy discovered the baby was Sheldon's, actually nothing would really change, everybody believed that anyway, so she really couldn't see any change, except it may hurt her boyfriend more if he knew for sure he had lost his child. Then there was the possibility the baby was Leonard's, it was that result that really concerned her, what would her boyfriend think, maybe that all the emotion he experienced was for nothing, and even that maybe it was foolish, would he retreat back into himself? Then there was Penny, she wanted the baby to be Leonard's so badly, when it was alive, how would she feel if she found out she lost Leonard's baby? Penny and Leonard were in love and getting married, how would either of them take it if they found out they lost their baby, could she even tell them if that was the result?

Amy looked down at the sample, as soon as she processed it and inserted it in the sequencer, she would know in a few hours, and really what good would that do. She now believed she couldn't tell anyone, the results would hurt her friends more than help them, really not knowing now was the only way to proceed, they all had accepted that and they all were dealing with it. Looking at the sample she now realized something else, she didn't want to know either, she didn't want to keep that secret, so she picked up the sample container, got up with it to walk the biohazard garbage can, and dropped it in.

"Amy what was that." Sheldon asked after watching her throw something out.

"Nothing really, just some material that was not useful anymore, it useful life was expired." Amy rambled staring now at the closed lid.

"Was in dangerous." Sheldon cautiously asked.

Amy looked at him seeing his concern, "Only to certain people, you have nothing to worry about, it would never hurt you."

Sheldon stared at his girlfriend, immediately thinking how beautiful her eyes looked and wondering why they glistened like they were wet. "Amy are you crying?"

Amy shook her head, "No, I just need a break. Would you like to take a break and get something to drink?"

Sheldon nodded. "Let's go." Amy then took off her lab jacket and followed him out the lab door.

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The funeral was on Saturday morning, the funeral home arranging everything for Leonard after Penny confirmed she wanted something done. There was no showing of course just a church ceremony then the burial, even that almost being too much for Penny when the priest said that part about babies souls being pure and going straight to heaven after death. There was even a small place in the Cemetery, the funeral home suggested, with small plots that the tissue, as the doctors called it, was buried. Through Penny would never be able to think of it as tissue because she begged Erin find out from her doctor, that her baby would have been a girl.

Sheldon had held Amy's hand the whole time during the funeral, Leonard had given them all the information after all the plans were made, making it very evident that their presence was welcomed. Amy was very happy that during this time of sorrow, her friends' response was to come together and put things behind them to respect everyone who was suffering from this event. This group of friends she now had were some of the best people she had ever met and they treated her more like family than just a friend.

She was walking Sheldon back to her car after the burial ceremony was complete, Sheldon being allowed to put a shovel of dirt on the grave after Penny, when Bernadette caught up to her. "Amy, umm…I'm glad you both could come."

Amy nodded, she immediately knew what Bernadette wanted to know, but needed to tell her without Sheldon knowing, since he still had her hand and was walking right next to her. "Thank you Bernadette, we wouldn't have missed it." She looked up and gave Sheldon a small smile, he seemed more content now because he gave her a very small smile back.

Bernadette nodded, "I hate to talk about work, but did you get that sample?"

Amy needed to let her know quickly or Sheldon would be suspicious, "Yes, I got it, but it was expired and I think it would have been useless in the end." She then looked up at Sheldon, "Your remember Sheldon, that sample I had to throw out." Sheldon nodded to her, she thought explaining it like and that would keep him from being suspicious.

Bernadette looked at her for a minute, repeating her words in her head, before she replied. "You are probably right, its probably useless by now. Anyway, you both take care." Bernadette then turned and headed back to her husband.

"I know I have taken a lot of your time this week, I hope I haven't caused you work problems" Sheldon now said after Bernadette had left.

Amy shook her head, "No Sheldon, everything is fine. That sample had expired, there was no useful information it could provide anyway." Sheldon nodded and gave Amy's hand a little squeeze as they continued to the car.

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The Monday after the funeral, Leonard locked up Penny's apartment and covered his car, before Penny, her mother and him went to the airport by taxi to fly to Omaha. Penny wanted to go home for a while and she only had to ask Leonard once to come with her for him to tell President Siebert that between his job and Penny, Penny would always win. Siebert had no other choice if he wanted keep him, so he gave Leonard an unpaid leave of absence, for a minimum of a month, but with the option for the whole semester, which was a good thing because Leonard would end up taking most of it.