18 – Anniversary

So... king of angsty this time. It's not my fault. I was just listening to the song "Verano" (Summer) by the spanish group La Oreja de Van Gogh and this scene came into my mind.

A scene that I imagine could have happened during the summer Oliver and Felicity spent alone working in the bunker... or at least an angsty version of it with a little bit of hope at the end.

Déjame pasar la noche. Deja que me quede aquí

Que hoy es nuestro aniversario

y no tengo a dónde ir.

Let me stay tonight. Let me stay here.

Today is our anniversary

and I have nowhere to go.

Felicity was about to watch her fourth episode in a row of Doctor Who that night, when she heard a tapping coming from the windows of the balcony. It was almost twelve o'clock and Felicity knew there was only one person who could be lurking around in her balcony at that time. It was dark outside, too dark to really see any details, but if she squinted her eyes she could see Oliver's silhouette in his Green Arrow outfit. Felicity paused the tv show and got up to open the glass door.

Oliver stepped into the loft, lowering his hood and taking his mask off. Felicity knew something was off about him immediately by the way his shoulders slumped.

"Hey. I thought we were finished for the night" she said while watching how Oliver left his bow and quiver on the floor, next to the kitchen counter. She remembered a time where she was used to see him do the exact same thing, when he was too tired after a patrol and didn't want to go back to the bunker, instead he just wanted to go back home to her. A time when thing seemed easier. Happier. A time that was now gone.

"I just couldn't sleep and I needed some fresh air."

"And also to put the fear of god in some low life thug?" Felicity joked, glad to see that her teasing made him smile. Even if it was just a little.

"Yeah... that helps too."

"Oliver... you should not go out there alone. You should tell me so I can help you."

Oliver and Felicity where the only ones left who continued working in the bunker. Thea had retired, maybe for good, from the crime-fighting bussiness. Diggle was who-knew-where with the army. And Laurel... Laurel had payed the highest price for trying to make Starling City a better place. Which meant that Oliver was alone out there every night, and that scared the hell out of Felicity, which is why she wanted to make sure she was always behind the comms to offer support.

"I didn't want to interrump your night." He sounded defeated, as if his body did not have any ounce of energy left in it.

"And yet here you are."

"Sorry about that. Somehow I ended up here and I saw the lights on." He walked to the sofa, sitting on it and letting a long sigh escape. Felicity sat on the arm of the sofa, looking at Oliver with his eyes closed and resting his head against the sofa.

"Oliver, are you ok? You are starting to worrying me."

He simply turned his head slightly to look at her, a sad smile appearing on his face. "You don't know what day is tomorrow, do you?"

It took a couple of seconds for Felicity to understand what he meant. For the last week she had been so focused on fixing the bunker and getting back to the vigilante work that she hadn't realised that their anniversary was that same following day.

"Oh" was the only thing her brain could come up with. What else was she suposed to say? I'm sorry we didn't even reach the one year anniversary? At least we are working together again? This wouldn't be happening if you had trusted me?

One year ago Oliver and Feclity were about to start their trip around the world. They were ready to leave everything behind and just enjoy each other's company. One year ago Felicity was the happiest woman in the planet, discovering what real intimacy felt like with Oliver. One year ago she would have never thought all the heartache she would go through. Or that he would go through. He had been the caused of her pain the same way she had been the cause of his.

But there they were, together sitting on that sofa, pondering on what could have been. It wasn't healthy relying on the other so much after all their history, but Felicity knew it was impossible to let their relationship just fade away. She tried once and at the end she ended up coming back. There was something between them that kept putting them together, as if they were magnets. It wasn't healthy, but it was theirs, and it was the reason that gave her hope. Because they were stronger together, and they were going to be fine, even if things couldn't go back to how they were before.

Felicity risked looking at the screen of her phone. 00:05. There it was. Their not-anniversary. Neither of them said anything. They stayed in silence for minutes until Oliver broke it.

"I know I have no right to ask but... Could I stay tonight? Just sleeping on the sofa. I just feel that I need to be here." With you, it's what he didn't dare to add.

Felicity simply nodded, unable to deny him that demand because she felt she needed him to be under the same roof as her tonight too. She brought him a pillow and a blanket. She left him to settle in the living room while she went upstairs to prepare to go to bed, not exchanging much more than a simple "Goodnight".

That night Felicity dreamed of a canddle-lit dinner with soufflé for dessert. Oliver sitting in front of her, his eyes darker with desire. She was wearing a red dress and in her hand a diamond ring reflected the soft light of the canddles. She dreamed of what it could have been, and of what her heart believed could still be.