"Wake up, sleeping beauties," said Derek with a smile as he saw Meredith sleeping with Chrissy in her hospital bed.
"Daddy, you're here!" exclaimed Chrissy.
"Yes, I got in late last night. Mommy's a sleepyhead; she needs to shower and get dressed because we have a meeting in an hour. But I'll stay here and hang out with you. Grandma gave me some soft-boiled eggs. Are you hungry?"
Meredith smiled as she got up. She loved seeing Derek with Chrissy. It was amazing; three weeks ago, Derek didn't even know about Chrissy, and now he was a devoted dad. Her conscience troubled her; all the time they missed spending together was her fault. But she had vowed to focus on the present, so she pushed her recriminations away and just watched them together.
"No, daddy, I'm not hungry."
"Would you like some water?"
"Okay."
"That's good." He filled her cup with fresh water.
"Can we watch Sesame Street, Daddy?"
"If it's on. I'll check." He turned on the hospital T.V. and saw that Sesame Street was on. "It's your lucky day."
"Silly daddy, it's always on at 9 a.m. I know how to tell time."
"You certainly do," said Derek with a smile. He enjoyed hearing Chrissy tell him about her achievements. She liked to show off for her dad.
"I'll go take a shower and get dressed," Meredith said, as she left the room for the resident's lounge. "I'll be right back."
"You can take your time. Our meeting isn't until 11:30 a.m. Mom is going to hang out with Chrissy while we go to the meeting."
"That's a good plan."
After showering and changing, Meredith returned to Chrissy's room and joined in watching Sesame Street with Derek and Chrissy. She enjoyed these ordinary moments, watching television with the both of them. When the show ended, Chrissy asked if Derek could tell some stories about his sisters, and he obliged. He was telling Chrissy about tea parties with Nancy and Kathy when his mother arrived. Carolyn enjoyed hearing Derek talk about his childhood. She liked to think she had done the best she could in giving him a happy childhood. She noted that Derek's stories always took place before his dad died although he rarely mentioned his father to Chrissy. Maybe it was too painful for him to talk about his dad.
"Hi Grandma," Chrissy said after Derek finished the story. "Can you tell me more stories about Daddy and his sisters?"
"Sure, I have lots of stories about your daddy. He was a very mischievous boy," Carolyn said with a smile.
"Mom," said Derek.
"You were. And Chrissy really enjoys hearing about your being mischievous. A little boy who does what he told is nowhere near as interesting," said Carolyn as a smile.
"Well, then that's fine." Derek was willing to be painted as mischievous if it gave his daughter reason to smile and laugh.
"I think it's time for us to go to the meeting. Thanks, Carolyn, for coming," said Meredith.
Derek noticed that Meredith seemed to be shaking as they walked over to the conference room. He wasn't quite sure what to do. He was nervous himself. When they arrived, he sat down next to her and put his hands on hers. She looked into his eyes. "I'm nervous, too, Meredith," he said. "But it's going to be fine."
"Derek," she started.
"Let's be positive now. Anyway, I have a story for you."
"A story?"
"Yes. Remember I told you that I moved to Seattle after discovering my wife in bed with my best friend?"
"Yes," she said, curious about where this story would go.
"Well, it turns out my best friend moved to Boston and fell in love with your sister Lexie."
"What?"
"Mark Sloan is going to be Chrissy's uncle. My colleague, Josh Stein, said that it was bashert, which means fated in Yiddish. Mark and I were always meant to be brothers."
"How did you learn this?"
"Mom must have figured because she told the twins to tell Mark she said hi."
"That must have been why she was shocked when she looked at Susan's invitation. I knew something was going on."
"So Mark had brunch with the twins, and Mark realized that Lexie's niece and my daughter were one and the same. So Tuesday he came to see me in New York. That's when he told me the story."
"It was nice of him to take a day off from work to visit you in New York."
"He still owes me. He slept with my wife."
Meredith nodded. She didn't mention the thought that came to mind; if Mark hadn't slept with Addison, Chrissy wouldn't be here. But her thoughts were interrupted when Bailey, Cristina, and Izzie walked into the room, with Izzie carrying a big basket of muffins. "I have both blueberry and strawberry muffins today. I also made a couple of bran muffins for Mr. Healthy Eater," Izzie said with a smile.
"I actually like blueberry muffins much better than bran muffins," said Derek. "I'm not always a healthy eater."
"Good to know."
"So guys, Derek had an interesting story. His best friend Mark is going to be Chrissy's uncle. He's marrying Lexie."
"That's amazing," said Izzie. "What a small world."
Dr. Barkley came in the room. Meredith took one look at his face, and she started trembling. Derek moved his chair closer to hers and put his arms around her.
"So, I have some good news and some disappointing news," he went straight to the point. "The medicine has been making some good progress, that's the good news, and Chrissy's tests show some significant improvement, but she's still not in remission. I'm going to make some modest changes in the formula, and there's a good chance, although no guarantee, that we might be able to bring her into remission in two weeks. So the plan is to meet again in two weeks."
Meredith started sobbing, and Derek held her closer. "Okay," said Derek. "Is there anything else we can do?"
"You need to keep your spirits up, all of you. There's a lot of hope. But medically, we're doing everything we can. I've been consulting with my mentors at Sloan Kettering, and they have had some good success with this new formula, so we're going to try it. If that doesn't work, I've learned about a couple of trials that Chrissy might be eligible for, but we don't need to get to that point if this new formula works. I know this is not the news that you wanted to hear, but we've got to vanquish the cancer and bring Chrissy into full remission before the bone marrow transplant."
"I know you're doing your best," said Meredith, "but sometimes the best isn't good enough."
"You're right. We have some amazing success in treating childhood leukemia, but it's not 100% yet. But there's still a lot of hope for Chrissy."
"But if she's not in remission in two weeks, you're going to recommend she participate in a trial, right?"
"Yes. I will have done everything that's been approved by the FDA."
"And the trial would be a blind trial, so there's be a 50% chance she'd get a placebo," said Meredith.
"It depends on the trial. Sometimes only a small group get a placebo, and some trials aren't blind. I'm going to find out everything about the possible trials. But remember, if the new formula works, there won't be any need for a trial. I just wanted you to know that I have a plan C in the works."
"Thank you. We're glad you're looking into alternatives," said Derek.
"I'll do everything medically possible for Chrissy," said Dr. Barkley. He left the room.
"It's good I didn't tell Chrissy she might be going home. This way she won't be disappointed," said Meredith.
"I'll go relieve Carolyn; you can discuss the results with her here," said Cristina.
"That's very thoughtful. Although she'll probably guess the results when you send her here," said Meredith.
"But my mom won't let Chrissy know her suspicions, and you don't want to discuss this in front of her."
"Derek, Chrissy's very smart. I wouldn't be surprised if she figured out the news herself."
"Let's think of something fun we can do for her," said Derek.
"The I-Pad has been great. With my Netflix subscription, we can stream lots of movies. She never tires of seeing Little Mermaid and the other Disney movies. We can make today a movie day and watch movies together. She'll like that. But she may feel terrible with the new chemo."
"We just have to do the best we can to keep her comfortable. I did bring a few new books with me, so I can read them to her."
"That's great. She loves it when you read to her, especially if you do animal voices."
"All the books have animal voices. I love doing them for her. I've had a lot of practice with my nieces and nephews."
Carolyn came into the room. "I take it that Chrissy is not in remission yet."
"That's right," said Derek. "The doctor said we made some progress, but he is going to try another chemo mixture, and we hope she'll be in remission in two weeks. If that doesn't work, he's has some trials to recommend."
"I'm sure the new mixture will work," said Carolyn.
"I hope you're right," said Meredith. "And I hope the new mixture doesn't make her too sick. She's already lost so much weight."
"Don't worry about that, Meredith," said Carolyn. "Once she's home, I'll be able to fatten her up. I'll make her all of Derek's favorite foods. I'm sure she'll like them, too."
"Once you say they're Derek's favorite foods, she'll love them, too. She is a daddy's girl," said Meredith with a smile.
"She loves her Mommy, too," said Derek.
"Now it's time for me to go back to Chrissy," said Meredith. She steeled herself to return to her daughter's room.
"I can come, too," said Derek.
"That's fine."
"I have some errands to run," said Carolyn.
When they arrived at Chrissy's room, Meredith announced that it was going to be a movie day. She took out the IPAD, and Chrissy chose Little Mermaid as the first movie and Lion King as the second movie. She got her new chemo mixture in the middle of Little Mermaid. She couldn't eat her lunch, but she wanted to continue watching movies with her parents. Carolyn arrived in time to watch the Lion King with them
When the movie was over, Chrissy turned to her mom and asked, "Mommy, what happened to Little Mermaid's mommy?"
"Good question, Chrissy, the movie doesn't say."
"But the Lion King's father died?"
"Yes," said Meredith, concerned about where the questions were going.
"What happens when people die?"
"They go to heaven," said Carolyn immediately. She was sure of her religious faith, and she wanted to comfort Chrissy.
"Is that what you think, Mommy?" asked Chrissy, well aware that Meredith hadn't answered the question.
"Yes, sweetheart," said Meredith. Her own mother had never believed in God or heaven, but Meredith didn't want to contradict Carolyn, and she figured there was no harm in saying yes.
"In the movies, only grown-ups die. Do children die?" she asked.
"Rarely," said Meredith, wishing she could say no.
"Am I dying?"
"No," Meredith answered firmly and immediately.
"Is that the truth?"
"Yes, sweetheart. I promise I will always tell you the truth," Meredith said looking into her daughter's eyes. "I'm a doctor, and I've seen patients who were dying. You are sick, but you are not dying. Remember Carmen. She also had cancer, and she survived. You remember what she said; never give up. The doctor told us they need to change your medicine a bit, that's all. We're going to fight this cancer, and we're not giving up. Got that?" Meredith hugged Chrissy and gave her a kiss on the forehead.
"Yes, Mommy," she said.
"Your mommy's right, Chrissy, we're not giving up," said Derek. "And now I want to read one of the books I brought from New York. It's called Officer Buckle and Gloria."
Chrissy looked at the cover and said, "I love dogs. Can I get a doggy?"
"Maybe next year," said Meredith. She wasn't sure about introducing a dog when Chrissy was so sick. And she had a tough time handling being a working single mom; she wasn't sure that she could manage a dog, too.
"Maybe Daddy could get me a dog," said Chrissy.
"Mommy and Daddy will decide together about the dog," said Derek with a smile. Playing one parent against another was a sign that Chrissy was a normal kid, despite her illness. And he was determined not to let her get away that.
"Okay. Daddy, start reading please," demanded Chrissy.
"Yes," said Derek as he started reading the book.