"I'm so sorry sweetheart." My mom, Katie pets my hair as I lie on my stomach, unable to move from the latest damage. Cory had already come and gone, treated my wounds from the scalding water that was poured on my back. I didn't have dinner ready in time, and since I was making spaghetti well the boiling water was the closest weapon. I didn't make a noise, I haven't cried out in years. Not wanting to give him that satisfaction I bit my lip and silently let my tears fall.
My mom though, she cried for me. Every time I'd take a beating, whether it was caused by my actions or hers. I hadn't let her get hurt on my watch for the past 6 months. I was thrown in my own personal cell afterwards to think over my actions and my mom joined me. After he locked me in here of course, Cory had a key-how I don't know but we never questioned it. "Mom, why?" I hear some sniffling and her fingers halt mid movement. "He's your mate momma, why does he hurt us so much?" I'd always heard that even raising your voice to your mate is painful for you. So why can he beat her and it not affect him?
Half the crap he's done to her… to me. His pup, why? "I don't know baby doll. I don't know and I wish I could take this away from you. Take this burden away."
"I don't want a mate if this is how they treat you." Granted, my father wasn't my mate but I have no doubt she endured more physical pain then I had since they had been together longer.
"Don't. Don't say that Maya." She whispered and resumed stroking my hair. "Your father, he's not-a mate isn't like this. You see how it is all around our pack, you see how Cory and Topanga are with one another Maya. Your mate is someone you should continue to live for. He will love and protect you and guide you sweetheart. He will be your world and love you unconditionally and he won't ever, and I mean ever harm you."
Craning my neck I glance at my mom who's letting silent tears stream down her face. "Then why does father hurt you?"
"It's very complicated sweetheart. Try to rest." And then she begins to sing. Her smooth and melodic voice lulling me to sleep. "I will love you for you. Not for what you have done or what you will become I will love you for you. And I will give you a love, a love-"
"SHUT UP!"
Forcing away the shiver that his voice causes I wince while standing up despite my mother's protests. Being on the ground is weak, being coddled is weak and if there's something my father can't stand… it's weakness. Only wearing half a shirt to cover the front of my body, I stand up in front of my mom waiting for the cell doors to fly open. And I don't have to wait long.
The beast of my reality and the monster who plagues my nightmares stands before me. I don't even have my wolf yet and the stench of alcohol is making me cringe. An evil smile plastered on his lips, I don't move. I don't speak, he just stares at me. Mental abuse, he's making me wait out my fears. Wants me to imagine what he is going to do to me now. "I'd say you learned your lesson with the amount of damage to your back but, here you are. Standing and ready for your next punishment."
"Kermit-" My mother rises off the ground and tries to persuade him.
"SHUT UP KATIE! OR YOU'LL BE NEXT!" Giving her a look to just leave it, I don't want her hurt.
Glaring daggers at the man before me, I can't stand him. I can't, he makes me sick to my stomach. I wish we could leave. But my mom couldn't survive being apart from her mate no matter how terrible he is. She's too weak already, her wolf practically gone. Even if we managed to get off pack grounds we'd be found. He's Alpha and has too many connections after all. If I was lying down I would have been punished, now that I'm standing I'm going to be punished again. Stalking towards me, grabbing my hair in a tight grip I don't wince from the pain. I hate to say that I welcome it but pain is the only sign that I'm still alive sometimes. Dragging me off to another room, a room I visit often.
My own personal torture chamber.
Because that's what it is. A weekly visit since I started taking my mother's 'discipline'.
"I see Cory healed your burns." I wish I could fight, and I will… one day. But today, I'd get myself killed and I have to stay alive for my mother. I have to. "Let's fix that back of yours."
Being handcuffed with silver chains that don't do anything but hold me down till I get my wolf, I'm forced to my knees. Shivering when he cracks the whip against the stone floor just to see my reaction. He's taunting me, and it worked every time. "Who will love me, for me-AHHHHH!" I begin to sing to myself in hopes the thought of my mother will keep me strong enough to endure this. I'd probably get about 5 today, we'll see.
The kiss from the whip on my already injured back has me crying out in pain. Something I haven't done in a long time. "Not for what I have done-"
"SHUT UP!"
"OR WHAT I WILL BECOME-"Singing louder, my one act of defiance. I won't ever submit to this man.
Another whip.
"WHO WILL LOVE ME FOR ME-"
Tears fall down my face with another hit.
"Cause nobody has shown me what love really means."
Darkness.
"MAYA!"
Bolting up right, eyes on the lookout for danger. "Maya?" Throwing myself out of the bed and glance at the man who spoke. Getting in a defensive pose, I try to focus on my breathing and blinking away the tears. "It's me baby, it's Josh."
Gulping, a few quick breaths and teary eyes. Josh makes a move to get off the bed, to come to me and comfort his mate and instinctually I flinch. Damn nightmares. No not nightmares.
Memories. 'Maya okay?'
She saw everything. Though she wasn't there she saw my dream, 'I'm okay Amber.'
I'm impressed she called me 'Maya' it took years for her to call me something other than 'human'. And longer than that for her to understand that I have to wear clothes when I'm in human form. Even now she doesn't quite understand and she still calls them coverings. "Maya?" Glancing to my left, Smackle and Farkle are at the door. Smackle looking at me with glassy eyes. Not pity, she knows that's the last thing I want. Understanding, she's staring at me with understanding. She didn't want to hear my story earlier, she didn't want to listen about my painful past when she's dealing with her own and I can respect that. I must have fallen asleep while watching TV, she's so quiet it was like no one was there.
I'm so deep in thought, I didn't realize Josh was hugging me. His scent instantly calms me, his warmth bringing me back to reality. The sparks comforting me, bringing my heart back down to a normal pace. Bringing me back to now, where I'm away from him and my mother's gone. One amazing feat balancing out a terrible tragedy. "It's okay baby girl. I'm here, I love you. I'll keep you safe." My mother's words ring in my ears.
Why? Why will my mate, love and protect me but my mom's couldn't. No not couldn't, wouldn't. What was so terrible about my mom?! She was beautiful and kind and loving-a gentle soul that wouldn't hurt anyone. "Leave us." Feet shuffling, door closing and we're alone.
"I'm sorry I flinched Josh. I didn't-I was still in between-"
Shushing me, lifting my frame into his arms and cradling me like I'm a child he carries me back to bed. "You have nothing to apologize for Maya. You don't, you're a strong wolf who is going to have these moments sometimes. I'm so sorry I should have been there. I should have kept those nightmares away."
Shaking my head before pressing my lips to his, "No. It's not your fault. Nothing is your fault, I just don't understand." Last words barely a whisper as I fight with my emotions. Trying to get on top and reign them in before they're exposed.
"What don't you understand beautiful?"
Sparks emitting as his hand rubs my arm gently, in a reassuring manner. "Kermit, and my mom. I was his pup. You freak out about my nightmares because you're my mate but he's the one who caused them." Furrowing brows, he's confused and I'll admit I'm not explaining this well. Thinking over what I just said, it made zero sense. "Kermit was my mom's mate. You are scared for me when I have nightmares, because they put me in pain. But he-that thing he put us in pain almost every day and I don't understand how. I don't understand why he could do that. To me, maybe. To his mate, no it shouldn't be possible."
Shushing me again, his hands continue the caress of my arms. "I don't have a good answer for you baby girl. I don't and I'm so sorry that all of that happened to you." His hand that was on my arm moves and starts to wipe my tears away. Occasionally leaning in to kiss them away, I bury my face into his chest. "I love you my Luna."
"I love you my Alpha."
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Walking around the Power Pack House this morning is interesting to say the least. I can't say I'm not looking for secret passageways. It's just so old, how could I not? Warrior Ryder follows close behind while Josh and Farkle finalize some details with Alpha William's son. Smackle stayed in the room, which is no surprise I wonder if she's scared to approach me now. The packs had agreed with my idea of them renting some of our land, apparently it was a quick negotiation and were very surprised at our generous offer. The only thing they had issues with was the alliance which is something we expected. But the beta- Alpha William's son and future Alpha of the Power Pack-convinced his father that this was necessary and made complete and utter sense.
Which it did, they'd need our protection since they'd be living on our land and vice versa. "Luna Maya."
Warrior Ryder was already bowing down to the Alpha and I gave a polite nod out of respect. "Alpha William. To what do I owe the pleasure?" Why did I ask that? This is his pack house.
A polite smile, hardened eyes- but not cruel. No, not cruel it's as if he's trying to figure me out. I'm a pretty open book now, my story has probably spread like wildfire. And just like that, in a snap the coldness was gone and replaced with wisdom. It's crazy how he can exude his years of life experience from his eyes. "Walk with me Luna Maya." Abiding his request, I linked Ryder to keep his distance. "Do you know pain, Luna?"
Trying with every fiber of my being to force out the word without any hostility, I replied "Yes." It didn't work. The question not only took me by surprise but was highly inappropriate. But, if he was going to play this game, I'll ante up. "From a very early age, I've known pain. But you knew that already." Stepping outside, the cool breeze of the early morning rushes through my hair. The sky a bright blue, virtually no clouds.
I will have to remember to thank Mother Nature.
Nodding his head, I realize I'm moving too quickly for him. Slowing my pace he holds out his arm and without hesitation I take it. I'm not sure if it's because he needed my help or if it is out of respect. Either way, I'm touching another male and Amber doesn't like it. Mated or not. "Yes, you are correct. I'm familiar with your situation."
"Familiar as in pack gossip, or familiar as in you knew of my situation before I became Luna?"
Glancing at the trees around us we walk along the edge of the forest. I'm not sure if he's delaying or trying to find the right words. "Luna Maya, I have been around for a long time. I've seen many friends, family and pack members pass away in my time. That's the hardest part about being virtually immortal, seeing others leave you in their wake to join the Moon Goddess. Emotional pain. I know emotional pain very well. I know physical, I've fought many battles in my lifetime even with our policy on deciding if we participate. Do you know the difference between emotional and physical pain Luna Maya?"
Before I can respond he continues, realizing it was a rhetorical question Amber scoffs at me. "Physical pain, yes it can leave scars and yes it can leave terrible memories but you can get out and it only lasts in the moment. You can overcome, become stronger from what you've suffered-"Amy's words of wisdom to listen cause me to stifle a growl. We don't like what he's insinuating, no matter how gentle he's putting it. "Emotional pain, it isn't as fleeting as physical. It leaves scars on the inside, in your heart. It can cause you to hide away inside yourself, to become a shell of a person. Emotional pain, lasts."
"So can physical. Physical pain can last." Eager eyes, he's wanting me to reveal more of what I know, "Every time I see a scar, I'm reminded of how I got it. The stupid reasoning of why it was put there, and what my mother and I suffered." He's not surprised by what I've said, unsure if I should confront him or not I keep quiet for the moment anyways. We continue our journey, his eyes trained straight in front and mine taking in the scenery. "What point are you trying to make Alpha William?"
"I know what you have suffered little Luna." Coming to a complete halt, I'm baffled. If he knew-Why-How could he-"I know you understand pain. You were accustomed to it, and it pushed you to become the strong she-wolf and leader you are today."
Glaring daggers at the wolf in front of me, Amber itching to get out. "You're saying you let me suffer there to become stronger?!"
"No Luna Maya, you are misunderstanding what I'm saying. And we tried to get you and your mother out. Several times actually." Amber's ears twitch instantly, my fists start to unclench.
My tense form relaxing but only slightly, "If that's true, if you actually tried to help us to get us out. Why?"
His lips turn into a smile, "Before I answer your question I want you to understand that yes you have physical markings on your body. However what you are feeling now, is emotional. The scars don't hurt anything but your mind and your heart now. They are there as a reminder-"
"That I've overcome blah, blah, blah."
"No." He interrupts, somewhat chastising me for assuming. "Well yes in a way. But that is not what I was going to say. Your physical scars won't heal in your eyes until you've come to terms with the emotional wounds. Yes, wounds. Because they are still fresh, as soon as your mate practically flew out of that meeting and explained later as to the reasoning, it's come to my attention that you haven't coped. You know what's happened to you but you've not accepted it as part of your past. You have a lot of questions that you have accepted you'll never have answers to, instead you've tried to block it out of your mind completely."
"I've survived, that's all I need to know."
Shaking his head from left to right he cups my hand in both of his. "You need to share, you need to talk to someone. Your mate, possibly or your best friend. Riley?"
Instantly I become defensive again, "How did you know about her?"
"I mean her no harm." Calm eyes, he isn't afraid of me. And he's giving me no reason than to be afraid of him. "I know a lot about you." Furrowing my brows, my head angled to the side slightly. "Inhale deeply. I'm a wolf, but I'm of other nature as well Luna Maya. Look past the wolf scent."
Doing as he says, I have to let Amber have full control for a fleeting moment till one word rings into my mind.
Seer
Regaining control I glance at him, "You're a seer?"
"Yes, however I don't see the past."
"You see the future?" Nodding his head in agreement, there's more though. The look in his eyes, he wants me to keep guessing. "You see inside of people?" I finish for him.
Nodding in what I can only assume was pride for his nature, he smiles again. "It's easy to control. If you want someone to see what's going on in your mind. You rest your forehead with another, if you want to see in someone else's a touch is all that's needed. If you want to touch someone and not see anything, just put up a block like you do with your mate or your pack." Sighing to himself he gives me a smirk, "The future is tricky, and will come to you and random times when there's a trigger."
Cutting him off before he continues I can't help but be frustrated. "Why are you telling me this Alpha William? And you still have yet to answer the only thing I've asked you so far." Why is he still holding my hand? Josh is not going to like this at all.
My patience has gotten better thanks to officially becoming Luna. However, I am still a wolf-an animal at heart and it isn't like I have a lot to begin with. Anyone else would have flipped out by now. "Because-"Instantly I'm frozen in my spot. It's hard to breathe. Windpipe constricting as I gasp for air, my knees becoming weak, I vaguely hear Warrior Ryder calling my name. "Don't touch her. It'll only hurt her." Alpha William commands as I fall to the ground, convulsing. It doesn't hurt, I just can't freaking breathe. It's like my entire body is trying to process this new energy, or whatever it is being transferred into my body.
And then like that, everything is gone. My breathing is back to normal, the feeling in my knees have returned and I'm staring into the deep brown eyes of Alpha William. "Because Maya, I've given you the gift of sight."
"GET AWAY FROM MY MATE!" The sound of my mate's voice echoing throughout the clearing. All the Power Pack wolves around stepping in the opposite direction of me without thinking about it. His command was so powerful, so strong. An Alpha male.
"Answer me one question before my mate comes over here and wreaks havoc. Why did you try to help my mother and I?!" They aren't the kind of pack to intervene in any affairs that aren't their own.
Smiling to himself he helps me off the ground. Josh is getting closer by the second, "Because little Luna. We are family. I'm your mother's father."
My knees falling weak again only this time sparks catch me. Pulling me to his chest, 3 warriors and Gamma Farkle surrounding Josh and I in a defensive pose. Lowly growling, their Luna was in their eyes 'hurting'. No one is happy right now, aside from Alpha William who seems to be beaming. I was flat out flabbergasted. "Baby girl are you okay?"
I don't know. I honestly have no idea, glancing at the man who I think is my grandfather he remains calm. "You did that for a reason." I whisper knowing he can hear me.
"Did what? What did he do to you Maya?" Cupping my face he tries to make me look at him but I can't. I'm so focused on the wolf in front of me. He gave me the gift of sight to find out answers to my questions. Answers so I could emotionally heal. And to help me succeed with future endeavors. But seeing the future is so finicky. It can change at the drop of a hat, how did he even give me the gift? I didn't think it was transferrable. "Look at me."
Eyes snapping to him immediately, I stifle a growl because I know he's worried but I don't appreciate the Alpha command. "I'm fine Josh. Let me do something, you can hold my hand if you'd like."
"NO! What did he do to you? Are you okay?"
Glancing at Alpha William, he nods affirming that it's okay for me to reveal myself. My eyes shift to him, my mate. His are filled with worry and compassion and love. The qualities my mother said my mate would have. Subconsciously a smile forms on my lips, "He gave me the gift of sight."
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Let me know what you think lovelies!