Chapter 38 - One last Mountain to Climb
The next week was much more relaxed, the mornings Leonard, with continued guidance and company from Penny, would help her dad with his farm work. Then after their day's chores were complete, they would take a shower and eat lunch, Penny, Leonard and her mom soon after that going out in the afternoon to do some particular wedding task. A couple of the days Lindsey even joined them and on that Friday, Wyatt went along too, so the whole family ate that night at a nice restaurant in Omaha after that day's wedding task was complete. That family dinner out especially moved Leonard, all that real caring and affection by each of the family members present at that table, making him think about all he had missed with his own family over the years.
Penny nudged a smiling Leonard to get his attention, "What is making you so happy? You have had a smile plastered on your face for the last twenty minutes." she whispered to him with a small smile of her own, Leonard being happy made her happy.
"It's nothing." Leonard quickly responded while blushing.
"Leonard Hofstadter, tell me what is making you so happy, I made need to know that after I burn our first dinner to get your mind off my inability to cook." Penny still whispering, teased him.
Leonard softly chuckled then looked at her, "I love your family."
Penny looked at him and blinked, then turned to look at her dad, mom and sister, Leonard's words making her realize how she took them all for granted, just like she took Leonard for granted sometimes. They were actually all wonderful, her mom and dad helping her the last few months, her sister being there for her too, even her brother when he was out of jail was always great to her, she was truly blessed. She turned back to Leonard, too emotional to say anything, so she just nodded, trying hard not to cry even though her eyes were wet.
Leonard seeing the expression on her face change was concerned and whispered. "Penny what's wrong?"
Penny shook her head and croaked out, "Nothing Sweetie, I'm just happy."
Meryl now noticed the exchange between her daughter and Leonard, "Penny, Honey, are you okay?" Wyatt and Lindsey now looking at her too.
Penny nodded and smiled as a tear when down her cheek, "I love you guys, you are the best parents and sister in the world. I feel so lucky you all are in my life and don't know how to thank you for all you have done for me over the years."
Meryl's eyes were now wet, it was a parents joy to have a child like Penny and then to have her tell you she loved and appreciated you, was almost too much. "Honey we were lucky to have both you and Lindsey, you two and your brother are our greatest joy." Wyatt didn't say a thing, just nodded to the words his wife said.
Lindsey was a little moved too, it felt good to be called their greatest joy by her parents, even though she knew she was the reason they got married in the first place. But now that the emotional floodgate was open, Lindsey couldn't help but join in. "I love all you guys too, and thank you for everything you have done for me too."
Lindsey who was sitting next to her mother didn't get a response, her mother just engulfed her in a hug, the sight making Penny move close to her father to get a hug from him. It was about a minute later that everyone separated, then Penny grabbed Leonard and gave him a kiss, "I love you Leonard." she told him, then kissed him again. Meryl, Wyatt and Lindsey smiling at Leonard and Penny's public display of affection.
It was a few moments later, when Leonard and Penny broke apart and looked back at her family, that a big smile formed on Wyatt's face. "Welcome to the family son." Meryl and Lindsey both smiled and nodded.
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It was Saturday, when Amy got her forwarded mail from her old apartment and found the invitation, the return address telling her before opening it that is was from Leonard and Penny. She actually felt happy for them that they were getting married then shocked to see Penny asking her to be a bridesmaid, a huge smile crossing her face. That smile dropped quickly though when Amy realized there was no invitation for Sheldon, that realization wasn't really a surprise after all that happened but it did make her sad because she would not go without him. Amy was thinking about that when she noticed the note in the envelope and opened it to see her 'bestie's' handwriting.
Dear Amy
Sweetie, I am sending this note instead or calling you to give you time to think about being my bridesmaid. I didn't want to put you on the spot by calling you for an immediate answer until you had time to think about it, because I know it is a difficult decision. Also, you probably noticed we didn't send Sheldon an invitation and you probably understand that after all that happened we just couldn't ask him to come. However, we did include a plus one on your invitation and both Leonard and I agree that you can bring anyone you want, including Sheldon, to our wedding. So Sweetie it wouldn't be the same without you there, so please think about, I really miss you and want to see you again. But if you don't think you can come, I will understand and it will not impact our friendship, I promise.
Please let me know soon, okay.
Your best friend
Penny
Amy sat down on the couch, rereading the note a second time then looking at the invitation again, it did say "Plus One", like her bestie said in her note. Amy really wanted to go, she missed Penny too and the last few months had been a little lonely for her not having her friends around like before. Amy actually shook her head as she thought about it, after all these years she now had very close friends and she missed them when they were not around, it was amazing to her how much her life had changed.
However, there was also Sheldon to think about, her boyfriend, no fiancé, another huge happy change in her life, a change she would have never imagined years before. Would Sheldon go with her to the wedding she wondered, how would he feel that he wasn't invited and could only go as her "Plus One"? She knew she wouldn't go without him, but would he go for her, he had been changing rapidly the last few months and she wondered if he could do this favor for her just this once.
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The next week for Penny was not that pleasant, she would be having her final doctors appointment, from her surgery, Wednesday and it would be also the day she would find out how she healed. She was scared, there was still a small chance she wouldn't be able to have children anymore and the possibility of that was eating at her mentally as the week progressed. She had been trying to hide her concern from Leonard but they just knew each other too well, so it was Tuesday after they showered from their morning chores that her fiancé finally called her out on her despair.
Penny had just finished putting on her clothes when Leonard took her into his arms. "Honey it is going to be fine tomorrow." he softly told her.
Once out in the open, Penny couldn't help by lean on him, melting into his arms to slowly whimper and let her penned in emotions out. "I'm sorry Leonard, I can't help being scared."
"Honey you are going to be fine, the doctor is just going to give you a schedule for doing normal things again." he then chuckled and tried to lighten the mood, "So you won't be able to slack at chores like you have the last few weeks."
A tinny smile formed on her lips at his joke, but it didn't last long as she pulled herself closer to him. "Leonard what if she tells me I can't have anymore kids again."
The smile Leonard had on his face disappeared, he always knew there was a small chance of that happening, but he had put it out of his mind, while he took care of Penny. Now it was front and center back in his thoughts, "Penny the chance of that is very low, please don't worry."
"But Leonard what if it happens, what if I can't have kids anymore?" Penny was about to cry, the more she thought about it the more upset she got.
"Then we won't have our own kids and we'll go on from there." he tried to reason with her.
"But Leonard you want kids, I know you do. What if I can't give them to you, what good will I be." tears now came down her cheeks.
Leonard pushed her away enough to look at her face, "Don't say that Penny, you are my life, all I want to be is with you the rest of my life and if it is just you and me, I will still feel like the luckiest man on earth. I love you and you being able to give me children or not has no bearing on how much I love you. We will deal with what ever happens tomorrow together, I know it is scary, but you and me together will handle it, because we love each other and will always be there for each other."
Penny looked into his eyes, then nodded, "Okay."
Leonard nodded back while looking into her eyes, "Okay."
Penny then took a breath, "Honey, there is one thing I need from you though."
"Anything." he quickly responded.
"I need to see the doctor alone. My mom will be with me, but I need you to stay here." she had been thinking about this for a week now and it was a relief to finally tell him. She knew if the news was bad she would be a blubbering mess at first and she didn't want to do that to him again, she felt he had done enough to deal with her drama. She wanted to start taking care of herself some again and to be able to tell him calmly if the news was bad and not be an emotion burden on him. Penny thought she needed to take back control of her life, she wanted to be his partner and not the clingy person she had become lately with him.
"But…we agreed about together." Leonard began.
"Please, I need it this way." Penny cut him off.
"I don't know, I don't think this is a good idea." Leonard tried to reason with her.
"It might not be, but I just feel I need to deal with the news for a short time before I tell you." she responded.
"Penny….." he didn't know what else to say.
"I promise Sweetie, we will deal with it together, but I just need to find out by myself at first before I tell you. Please let me do this."
Leonard didn't like it at all, but he felt he had no choice, she wanted this and he really didn't have the right to demand she do it his way. So Leonard just sighed and nodded, "Okay."
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It was difficult for Penny to leave him Wednesday morning and it was difficult for Leonard to let her go as they hugged for a long time before she went out the door. She may have never gotten out of Leonard's arms if it wasn't for her mother reminding them that they would be late to the doctors if they didn't let each other go. Penny was scared, especially since she was doing this without Leonard, but deep down she knew she had to do it this way. If the results were bad, she needed to deal with it before she told Leonard, she needed to be strong enough to go on by herself, instead of leaning on him all the time. It was not that she didn't need Leonard, she knew that would never be the case, but she just felt she couldn't dump everything on him anymore, she needed to carry her share of the load from now on. But it was still hard, watching out the window of the car as she left him, it was like she was leaving her comfort and safe zone behind and going into the unknown.
Leonard had fought himself all morning, not to demand to go with her, he was so concerned about her and now that he knew the reason she wanted to go alone it made worry about her more. He had dismissed, in his mind, the side effects of her miscarriage and surgery because the probably of them happening was low, but now knowing Penny had been worrying about it had him worrying about it too. He stood there at the window for several minutes after the car went out of sight, even picking his phone out of his pocket to send Penny a text, but stopped when he wondered what he would say to her that he hadn't said already. This was going to be the longest morning of his life, he thought as he put his phone back in his pocket, he then walked out the back of the house to the barn to help Wyatt and try to make the time go faster.
It was two hours later that Penny was on the exam table her legs spread wide, her feet in the stirrups as the doctor adjusted the speculum, then inserted a tube device, followed by a device to inflate the cavity, finally followed by a long thin device that had a camera on the end. It was a little uncomfortable and felt funny but there was very little, if any, pain in it all and after everything was in place she looked at the same screen the doctor was looking at to see her insides in brilliant color. The doctor inserted the camera deeper looking around the cavity it was in until she seemed to get to the end then just as slowly began its removal. It was another few minutes before everything else was removed from her and Penny was allowed to have her modesty back.
"We're done now Penny, you can get dressed again." the doctor said with a smile as she helped the nurse gather up the equipment.
Penny got off the exam table and stood there a few seconds building her courage. "How am I?" she said while looking at the doctor.
The doctor looked at her, "Well I was going to wait till we were in my office to talk to you but if you want we can do that now."
Penny nodded.
The doctor looked at the nurse, "Beth can you give us a minute." Beth smiled and nodded then left.
No sooner then she left the doctor turned back to Penny, "Do you want to sit?"
Penny nodded and grabbed a chair, squirming for a second as the cold plastic of the chair touched her bare bottom in the exam gown. The doctor grabbed another chair in the room and sat in front of Penny and after they both were ready the doctor gave her a small smile and began talking. "Everything looked fine Penny, the healing is going a little better than normal, because you are in good physical shape."
Penny nodded.
"Now lets talk about where you go from here. You have healed sufficiently that you can have intercourse now again but with that said you still need to be careful. Nothing artificial should enter you for another month, so no sexual aids no matter how soft they are. Also when you have intercourse make sure you partner doesn't do it extremely rough, because doing it rough can hurt anyway so doing in after your are almost healed only makes things worse. So the bottom line is just do it normal and don't get too kinky, okay." The doctor gave her a smile.
Penny nodded again, as she still wondered about her fertility and was about to ask when the doctor spoke again.
"Speaking of intercourse, would you like me to prescribe some birth control pills for you? Pills are about all you can use or a condom, I would wait two months before you could have an IUD or something like that."
Penny looked at her doctor wide eyed, "I have to be careful about getting pregnant?"
The question confused the doctor for a second, "Yes, you are healed enough now that if the time in your cycle is right you could get pregnant immediately, though I would wait a couple months for that too, just to make sure you are fully healed."
"I can have children again." Penny responded is surprise.
The doctor now understood, "Penny you are back to normal, there were no adverse complications, so you can become a mother when you want to in the future."
Penny sat there taking it all in, all her worries were now put to rest, "Thank you doctor, thank you so much." She then hugged the doctor, who smiled and hugged her back.
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The whole morning Leonard worked on chores for Wyatt, quietly working almost like a zombie, never stopping to rest or to talk. Wyatt felt sorry for him, even though his wife told him that Penny needed to go to the doctor's without Leonard, he still felt that Leonard should have went instead of waiting like this. Wyatt was worried for his daughter too, but this young man was obviously suffering by not knowing the condition of the woman he loved. It was almost a relief when Wyatt heard the car pull up in front of the house and beep of the horn.
Leonard stopped what he was doing and headed out towards the front of the house Wyatt following behind him, but neither of then completely got there before Penny quickly walked up to Leonard and into his arms. Her words to Leonard told Wyatt their was nothing to worry about, "Leonard I can get pregnant again." his daughter then kissed Leonard's smiling face and Wyatt just walked by the two kids to find his wife to learn the details of this morning doctor's trip.
Leonard and Penny kissed for a couple of minutes until the cold made them stop and head inside, them both having their arms around each other. "So the doctor said everything was okay." Leonard wanted to know everything since he wasn't there.
Penny nodded, "She said everything had healed nicely and that I could have sex again and that I needed birth control to not get pregnant." Penny pulled a bag out of the big pocket of her coat, then waved the bag in front of him, "So I got pills." she then winked at him.
"Everything is all healed up already." Leonard asked again
"Well most of it, she said we would have to wait a month before we did anything kinky." she giggled.
"Okay." Leonard thought for a couple seconds. "Penny I was thinking, why don't we wait to have sex till our honeymoon, you know to make it sort of special."
Penny looked at him for a moment, "Sweetie, I really do want to be intimate with you, you don't have to wait to have sex with me."
Leonard stopped and faced her, taking both her hands in his, "Honey the doctor told me not to rush you, that you needed to take steps at your own pace, she also told me that having sex was one of those big steps and that it shouldn't occur till you are completely ready."
Penny looked down at their hands and nodded, "I guess I've been so happy about being able to give you children, that I am rushing things a little. But I want you to know I miss being intimate with you and I'm wanting it more and more with each day."
Leonard smiled, "I know, but why don't we just plan on not doing it till our honeymoon and then we'll decide then if it is the right time, okay."
Penny smiled back at her fiancé, "Thank you Leonard, I'm so lucky to have you."
Leonard chuckled, "And don't you forget it." which got him a giggle from Penny and a swat on the arm before she grabbed his arm and lead him the remaining distance to the house, almost skipping the rest of the way.