Hello! I'm back again and just in time for the holidays! First of all I want to thank you for all the comments in the last update, knowing that you liked the kiss™ meant the world to me, so thank you from the bottom of my heart! Anyway, as per usual, I don't want to say much about this chapter because of spoilers, but I really, really hope you like it!

Enjoy this little pre-Christmas gift and don't forget to leave kudos and/or share your thoughts about the story. Anyway, I wish all of you who celebrate it a Merry Christmas! Drink lots and be naughty under the mistletoe ;)

Chapter 14

Magnus was studying all the files Alec had given him about Valentine. As he had promised, the agent had made him copies of every file the Bureau had on the criminal, and since the federals had done their homework, Magnus had more than three boxes of files to go through. He had started two weeks ago when Alec had texted him to inform him that he could go pick up the files, and he was still in the first box—this was proving to be more tedious and time consuming than he had imagined.

"Do you know what I find curious?" Magnus said out loud. Ragnor was there with him, helping him read all the information about Valentine.

"No, what?"

"Alexander told me that all the boxes were sorted by year."

"I know, they're even labeled." Ragnor said, pointing to the side of the box where the agent had written down the years of the files contained in that box.

"Exactly, look at all the others, what do you see?" Magnus said. There were four boxes stacked there beside them.

Ragnor looked at the boxes, but didn't get Magnus's point.

"We started with the box containing the oldest files," Magnus explained, "there's nothing here about Valentine before he became a criminal."

"Oh." Ragnor said, looking back and forth between the files he was holding and the rest of the boxes.

"It's odd, isn't it? The FBI is very meticulous about this kind of stuff, they usually do background checks on all the criminals they are after. We have to find out who this man was before he became Valentine Morgenstern, maybe if we knew a little bit about his past, we could find out where he is and what he's up to—what's past is prologue."

"William Shakespeare." Ragnor said, recognizing the quote from the famous author.

"Very good, my friend. But seriously, we all have a past and if the FBI couldn't find his, then we will."

"Okay, I'll ask Raphael to start digging around. The first file we have of him is from 1986, so I'll see if that can help us track him down. Perhaps with the year and based on what happened back then we could try to see what his beginnings as a criminal were and thus determine who he was before he became, well, who he became. It won't be easy, though, if the feds couldn't find anything in all these years, I don't see how we will."

"We have something the FBI doesn't have."

"What?"

"A Raphe."

"Don't call him like that."

"I'm sorry, I forgot you were the only one who could call him like that." Magnus teased.

"Very funny, have you considered a career change, you would be a terrific comedian. By the way," Ragnor added, obviously trying to change the subject, "the last pieces for the printer arrived this morning, Raphael texted me, we can start printing next week if you want."

"That's great! I'll ask Elias to move the oven there today." Magnus said, pointing to the object in question that was still occupying half the space of his living room. "It's better if we set everything there, it would be very risky to bring the bonds here just to age them."

"Yeah, we can't bring them here. You should also ask him to take the paper and the inks, the place is ready, I even made some space in the small office to store them."

"Yeah, I will." Magnus said, pulling his phone out of his pocket and quickly calling his henchman to give him instructions. Ragnor simply took another file and resumed what he had been doing.

After that, they fell into a peaceful silence as they continued to make their way through all the information they now had on Valentine. It was a menial task that required little to no effort, not Magnus's favorite thing in the world, but it wasn't so bad after all. It was helping him to distract himself and not think about...well, other things.

"How are things going with the fed?" Ragnor asked after a while.

"Same." Magnus said, not really wanting to talk about that. "He's busy, I'm busy, Valentine's on the loose using my name to cover his ass—same old, same old."

"Have you...you know?"

"Kissed again? No, I've barely seen him." Magnus confessed.

It was true. He hadn't seen Alec that much in these past two weeks. The man had been practically enclosed in the FBI Headquarters working almost 24/7. Apparently his father, who was in charge of the Washington D.C. office, had locked up all the agents in an attempt to rush things with the investigation. They had started to receive threats or something, so they were really desperate to find Valentine and all his alleged collaborators—Magnus, or better said, fake-Magnus included.

"Why?"

"I told you, his father ordered all the agents to be locked up until they made some progress on Valentine's case, some national security thing or something like that." Magnus partially lied. That had really happened, Alec had explained so himself when Magnus had gone to pick up all the files about Valentine, but the truth was that Magnus hadn't really tried to see the agent much in the last few days. If he was honest, the timing of this whole situation had been perfect for him.

"And you're just okay with that? After what happened between you two? Really? Don't you wanna see him?" Ragnor inquired.

Magnus shrugged, avoiding eye contact with his friend. Of course he wanted to see him, not seeing the man was turning out to be a real torture, but ever since they had kissed, Magnus had been doing some introspection and, well, he had concluded that he needed some distance to clear his head and be able to do what he had to do.

"You're avoiding him." Ragnor exclaimed, suddenly understanding.

Magnus sighed. After all these years of friendship, he still marveled at how easy his friend could read him. "Maybe."

"Why? I thought that after that kiss you wouldn't be able to stay away from him."

Magnus just chuckled, little did his friend know that it was being terribly difficult to do what he was doing.

"So?" Ragnor insisted.

"I'm not what he needs." Magnus said, trying to sound as if that thought didn't matter to him at all, but he knew Ragnor would be able to read beyond the facade. Magnus wasn't very good at lying to his friends.

"And suddenly you're concerned about that because?"

"Because I care about him, okay, Ragnor? I care about him a lot." Magnus confessed.

"You've cared about him since that stupid first date, I saw it in your eyes that night, Magnus, this is something else."

Magnus sighed. "I don't want to ruin him." He said. The conversation he'd had with Catarina after the kiss had left him thinking.

"Cat." Ragnor guessed.

"Yeah, you sent her to me, remember?"

"I did not, I talked to her about you, she came to visit you because she wanted to, she probably got worried about you."

"That doesn't matter, I appreciate her visit, she made me understand that...well, things between Alexander and I are very complicated and thanks to that I realized one thing."

"What?"

"I knew the risks I was taking when I proposed this alliance, and I know the risks I would be taking if I decided to...well, if I decided to have something else with him, but he doesn't."

"What makes you think that? I don't even know how many times you've said that the man is very smart, I'm sure he's already figured that much out."

"Are you seriously giving me relationship advice?" Magnus asked amused. He knew that his friend hated anything that had to do with Alec, since Magnus had suggested the alliance with the federal agent, his best friend had clearly stated his opinion about it and made sure Magnus knew how stupid, risky, and dangerous this whole situation was, so hearing him trying to advise him on anything related to Alec was as surprising as it was funny.

"Maybe…" Ragnor said.

"Why?" Magnus couldn't stop asking—that really intrigued him. He didn't know what had made his friend change his mind.

"Because although you know what I think of that alliance and how stupid it would be if you became romantically involved with him, these past few days I couldn't help noticing that you-that you stopped smiling, my friend. It had been so long since the last time I'd seen you so happy, and now look at you, you try to hide it, but I know you're unhappy. You can try to fool the world, but I'm your best friend. I know you, and I know he's the reason behind those sad eyes. So yeah, maybe he's a fed and therefore a real headache for us, but at least he made you happy."

Magnus smiled. He never took Ragnor's friendship for granted, but every time he saw how good of a friend Ragnor was, he couldn't help but feel his heart swell—knowing how much his friend cared about him made him extremely happy. Ragnor was able to put aside whatever personal opinion he had about this situation just to see him happy. "I appreciate your words, my friend, and that you care about my happiness, but I'm fine."

"No, you're not."

"Well, I'm not, but I will be."

"Why are you doing it?"

"Because I can't do that to him, I thought I could, but I can't. I can't drag him with me into the mud that is my life. He's a good man, Ragnor. He doesn't deserve any of the bullshit that usually comes with people like me."

"But you could ask him? I mean, what if he doesn't care about that? What if he wants you regardless of the risks?"

"I don't think so…"

"Would it kill to ask?"

"No."

"Well, I can't believe I'm saying this, but then do it, you have nothing to lose."

o-o-o-o-o

Alec was very tired. He had spent two weeks practically locked up in the Bureau and, so far, he hadn't made any progress in the case. He had been working like a machine, going through all the reports and cases they had without even taking a break, and his body was starting to show signs of extreme tiredness. He was used to this kind of hectic pace, not sleeping, barely eating...he had done it on more than one occasion in the past, but this time it wasn't really his job what was draining him of his energy, no, it was the fact that he hadn't been able to stop thinking about Magnus.

Since that make out session Alec couldn't get out of his head, he had heard almost nothing about the criminal. Their text messages and daily phone calls had become almost non-existent, and Magnus's visits to his home had been so brief and sporadic that Alec wasn't even sure if they had actually happened. He didn't know what had gone wrong between them, but thinking about it had been keeping him awake on those nights when he had the privilege of catching up on some sleep.

He didn't understand how Magnus had managed to get under his skin so fast, but the criminal had done it, and as unbelievable as it might sound, Alec missed him. He missed talking, laughing, and spending time with him. The two times they had seen each other in the last few days had been because Alec had texted him. The first time to inform him that he could go pick up the copy of all the files regarding Valentine, and the second to ask him for some help with the authentication of a painting that they had found on the black market and that could be related to their last case. And although both times Magnus had gone to his place without hesitation, the criminal hadn't stayed for long, and what was worse, he hadn't even mentioned what had happened between them and had treated Alec in a very professional, and even, distant way.

Alec couldn't deny that that attitude had disappointed him greatly, he had held onto the note the man had left for him after their passionate encounter, but to his misfortune, nothing had happened between them since then—they hadn't talked about it, much less continued what they had started. Alec was so frustrated. He wanted to ask him why, to question him about his sudden silence and cold treatment. They were adults, and adults talked, right? But he didn't know how to do it, he had never faced anything like this. The uncertainty of not knowing what had gone wrong between them and why he cared so damn much was killing him.

"You have your head in the clouds." Izzy said.

"What?"

"Precisely my point."

"Sorry, Iz...I'm a bit distracted."

"Is it because of that mysterious man you've been seeing these weeks?"

Alec nodded, sighing. He hated being so easy to read.

"Are you still seeing him?"

"No," he said, "well, I don't even know."

"You want to talk about it?" She asked, carefully taking a seat in front of him. She had only gone to his office to give him copies of some old files.

"There's not much to talk about, you already know most of it. We kinda went out a couple of times, three...I'm not sure if the last one really counted as a date, but let's say four, and it was great, Iz. We had, well, still have a connection, you know? Something I hadn't had with anyone before. We're from very different worlds, literally, but putting that aside we have a lot in common, and, well, the last time we saw each other something happened…" He said, blushing a little. It was so weird to talk about this with his sister.

"Did you…?" She asked curiously.

"Almost." Alec confessed. He didn't know why he was so nervous. He was a 28 year-old man, yes, he didn't have a lot of experience, but he wasn't a teenager—he was an adult.

"And?"

"Well, since that happened I've only seen him two times and for like five minutes, and he hasn't mentioned anything, you know? As if it had never happened and-"

"When did this happen?" She interrupted him.

"Two weeks ago."

"Oh." Izzy said.

"That's bad, isn't it?" Alec asked, because he had figured that much out. Experience or not, when you didn't get a call or a text message after something as intense as what had happened between them, it was a clear sign that something had gone terribly wrong.

"Well, I don't know him, but yeah, it doesn't sound good. I mean, these two times you saw him since then, did he call or did you?"

"I did, but I didn't call, I just texted him. He had asked me for some hmmm...books, so I told him he could go to my place to pick them up, and the other time I hmmm...asked him to help me with-with some stuff about my laptop, and he did, but he left as soon as we finished."

"Well, if he went that's good, I mean, he's still interested, right? If he didn't want to keep any contact with you, he would have just ignored you, but he didn't, so..."

"But don't you think he would have said something about what almost happened? Like it was hot, Izzy." Alec said because what his sister was saying made sense, if Magnus didn't want to keep seeing him he would have just ignored him; but Alec wasn't fully convinced yet, he knew something was off.

"Maybe he's shy…" She suggested.

"He's not shy, believe me, he's the opposite of a shy person, I wish he were a bit shy every now and then. This is something else, Iz, this is because I suck at this thing and he wants out."

"I don't think you suck at anything, you're the single most compassionate, most committed person I know, those two qualities are key to any romance."

Alec chuckled. He had never thought of his relationship with Magnus as a romance, but maybe it was, or deep down he wanted it to be.

"Maybe he's waiting for you to make the next move." She continued.

"He knows I'm not going to do that."

"Why not? Are you suddenly a damsel in distress who can't fight for the man you like?"

Alec rolled his eyes. "No, but he knows I'm not the kind of guy who does that."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't know how to do it, Iz!"

His sister smiled. "Big brother, I think you're over-analyzing things as per usual. If you're interested in this guy and you think you two really have a chance to make it work-"

Alec chuckled, that was the problem between them. How could they make it work? They were the opposites of the opposites—like ice and fire, day and night.

"-then I say you call him and ask him out." Izzy continued. "If he was the one who asked you out the last three or four times, then it's your turn. You know what they say, the fifth is the charm."

Alec hesitated. He could call, right? Pretend it was something related to Valentine's case and invite him over. "And if he says no?"

"Then you'll know for sure that he's not interested and you can move on."

Alec sighed, his sister was right. If Magnus didn't show signs of being interested in Alec, he could move on and keep this thing between them strictly professional. "Thanks, Iz."

"Anytime, big brother." She said, getting up from her chair and leaving Alec alone.

Alec pulled out the phone Magnus had given him from his pocket and looked at it. He had been carrying it with him these past days in hopes of hearing from Magnus, but the phone had remained eerily silent.

He looked at the only number saved there and his finger hovered over the call button. He took a deep breath and just when he was about to call, the phone rang and Magnus's name flashed on the screen.

Alec answered on the first ring. "I was about to call you." He said.

"Well, I won." Magnus said in that joking tone Alec liked and had missed so much.

"I-I..."

"Are you busy? Can I see you tonight?" Magnus asked.

"No, I mean, no I'm not busy, so yeah sure...you want to come over to my place or something?" Alec asked, hoping he wasn't sounding so desperate.

"No, I kind of want to talk to you about something important, but not at your place, hmmm, I think this time a public place would be better."

Uh-oh.

"Oh, okay…" Alec said, not really knowing what else to say, "...then where?"

"Brooklyn Bridge, 9 p.m.? Meet me on the Manhattan side."

"Okay, then I'll see you there."

"Okay, goodbye, Alexander."

"Bye." Alec hung up and sighed. He didn't have much experience, but this? This couldn't be good.

o-o-o-o-o

Magnus was a bundle of nerves. He was waiting at the entrance of the Brooklyn Bridge for Alec to arrive. He usually had a set of security protocols to follow when he found himself out in the public, but since he didn't want to share any of this with anyone yet, he was on his own, hoping that Lady Luck was on his side again and he didn't have to make a run for it before he finished saying what he had come to say.

He wasn't nervous about Alec betraying him or something like that, he trusted him, but it was always strange to be so unprotected in the public eye. Scarf season was there, so that helped him mingle with the rest of the New Yorkers who were walking the city, but he couldn't help but feel a bit uneasy when someone stared at him for more than what was strictly necessary. He agreed that there was nothing that a good scarf and a beautiful coat couldn't conceal, but he couldn't just forget that this city had millions of security cameras, and tonight he felt very, very vulnerable.

He was almost certain that that feeling had very little to do with the fact that he was out in the public eye, and everything to do with the conversation he was about to have with Alec, but there was nothing he could do to control it. His hands were shaking as they hadn't shaken in so long and he even felt a bit dizzy. It was so-

"Hi." Someone said in a timid voice, startling him.

It was Alexander. He was standing right in front of him. He was wearing a beautiful black coat and a red scarf, his hair was combed a little different from his usual style and Magnus could smell the soft notes of some sweet cologne. Alec looked simply dazzling, and Magnus wondered if the agent had dressed up like that just for him.

"Hi, you look very nice tonight."

"Thanks, you do too." Alec added, fidgeting with his hands. He was clearly as nervous as Magnus was.

"Shall we walk?" Magnus suggested, pointing in the opposite direction of the bridge.

Alec nodded.

They walked awkwardly side by side, slowly getting away from the island they both loved and heading to Brooklyn. The elephant was in the room, Magnus could sense it walking right next to them—and it was the size of the freaking bridge!

"I probably owe you an apology." Magnus started to say. "I've been a bit distant in the last two weeks, but I don't want you to think that I'm backing out on my word. I'm still going to help you catch Valentine, but, well, what happened the other day-"

"You regret it." Alec interrupted him.

"No!" Magnus immediately said, shaking his head vigorously. How could Alec think that? That kiss had been the best kiss in the entire history of kisses.

"Let me finish, please." Magnus added, stopping so he could look Alec straight in the eye. "Look, Alexander, I like you, I really do. I've liked you since the first time I saw you on that rooftop almost three years ago. How could I not? I mean, I'm sure you look yourself in the mirror every morning, you're gorgeous. But these past months, since we started with this, the calls, the texts, the dates...I've learned to really know the person behind the pretty face and-" Magnus took a deep breath. This was harder than giving himself up to the authorities. "And you make me feel things, okay? Things I haven't felt in a very, very long time. What happened between us—kissing you—it was like being born all over again, you completely rocked my world upside down and, of course I don't regret it, how could I? We can agree that that kiss was more than perfect, but after I went home I kind of realized of one thing. I can't change who I am, Alexander. I'm a criminal, and this thing that we're doing is risky and if we're honest, also pretty stupid. We could ruin each other. We made a truce, I know, but we can't forget that it's your job to put people like me behind bars and my job not to allow it. What's going to happen when this is over and Valentine is either dead or trapped in a supermax prison, huh? You can't ignore who you are, and neither can I. Are you just going to pretend I'm not the criminal you've been wanting to catch for years? Are you going to pretend I'm a good person? Because I'm not, Alexander. I'm not."

Alec remained silent, so Magnus just continued before he lost his nerve. "Let's say we do explore whatever this is, when this is over there will come a time when you will have to fulfill your duty and hand me over to the authorities, are you going to do it? Are you going to pretend that nothing ever happened between us? Are you just going to put whatever we have yet to live behind us and simply sweep it under the rug?"

"I don't know the answer to any of your questions." Alec said sincerely. "I...this happening between us was never part of the plan. If I agreed to go on the first date was for the sole purpose of catching you, all the other dates were never part of what I had in mind for this alliance, but they happened."

"I know and believe me when I'm saying that I never expected to feel what I feel. I was attracted to you and I started sending you those postcards as some sort of game to drive you insane, but that night on the rooftop I met a different Alec and that's when I lost control of myself. Then we started playing around, joining forces to catch Valentine, and in doing so I got to know you, the real you, and I lost focus. I met this incredible, sexy, funny, smart man who always manages to make me smile and you know what? I can't do this to him, I can't do this to you. What we are doing is bad enough already to add a relationship to the mix. If people knew that you've been with me enough times to arrest me already and you haven't moved a finger, you could lose everything you've worked so hard for and I would never forgive myself for that. You understand, right?"

"So you don't want us to keep doing this?"

"No, listen, if you want to, I want to. I'm a bad guy, I've learned to live with the consequences of my actions since I was very young, what I want is for you to be fully aware of our situation. I can't change who I am and I won't ask you to change for me either, but I do want you to keep in mind everything that could go wrong between us and with our respective lives. If someone discovers that we are romantically involved, we both are going to end up in the same place, and not exactly together."

Alec took a deep breath. He seemed so lost in his own thoughts that Magnus wasn't even sure if he had heard the last thing he had told him.

"I can't speak for the future," Alec said, "I don't know how long it's going to take us to catch Valentine, or even if we're going to make it out alive, the man is a mass murderer so anything could happen, but what I do know is that despite how wrong this is, despite how I know I shouldn't be doing this...I want you. I don't know why, I must be out of my mind or something, but I want you."

Magnus's stomach knotted and that funny feeling he felt whenever he was with Alec just intensified. "Risks and all?" He asked, just to make sure he had understood correctly.

"Risks and all." The agent said.

Magnus smiled. They were standing in the middle of the bridge, the city gleaming behind them like a beautiful poster from a movie that was yet to be seen. "Then I'm all yours." He said, barely standing on his tiptoes and kissing him again.

People passed next to them, but no one was paying them any attention. They were just another of the thousands of couples who shared passionate kisses on that bridge every day.

"Do you want to go to my place?" Magnus broke the kiss to ask.

"What?"

"Remember our first phone call? It's our fifth date, I told you I would invite you over."

I'm going to end this horrible year with a happy note (and probably a cliffhanger muahahaha), so stay tuned ;) I'll see you all next Friday!