Chapter Seven

Eggsy hovered in the doorway as he noticed Roxy sitting alone in the drawing room. She was staring absent-mindedly at the unlit fireplace, twiddling a pen through her fingers.

Eggsy had felt bad for losing his temper the moment he'd stormed out of the dining room, he'd just been running on high emotions because all the hope he'd had about getting Harry back had been crushed in one fell swoop, he hadn't meant to shout at them, they were all on the same side, after all.

"Hey." He said, walking inside and sitting opposite her.

"Hey." She greeted, voice dull, still staring blankly ahead.

Eggsy felt his stomach dip and shifted in his seat. "Rox, are you okay?"

"I. Am. Fucking. Bored." She said, interjecting every word. She turned to him. "How long have we been stuck in this mansion now? I haven't spoken to my dad in days and..." She blinked suddenly. "Sorry. How are you?"

"I thought I'd really upset you." Eggsy admitted.

"Why would you upset me?" She asked, brow furrowed.

"For kickin' off in the dinin' room when Merlin showed us them X-rays." He expanded.

"Oh." She said before smiling shallowly at him. "I shouted too. I shouldn't have. And I shouldn't have said what I said about Harry."

"Nah, it's all right." Eggsy conceded. "You were just lookin' out for everyone. More than I've been doin' lately. I'm riskin' everythin' on somethin' that might already be gone."

His voice broke on the last word and his hand flew to his mouth, suddenly, Roxy was at his side and pulling him into a hug. He was glad for the embrace.

"Don't say that." She said gently. "I know it's awkward, but you were right. You have to try to get through to him, otherwise you'll spend the rest of your life wondering if you could have saved him. When you care about someone that much, you can't just let them go. It's stupid of us to think you would agree to killing someone you..." She sighed. "Eggsy, look at me." She commanded softly.

Eggsy did.

"You love him, don't you?"

Eggsy merely stared at her, and she liked to think she got the barest nod before tears fell from his eyes and she was hugging him again.

"It's going to be okay." She promised.

"Err..."

The pair of them looked up to see Merlin stood in the doorway, hand poised as if ready to knock.

Eggsy sat up straight, desperately wiping the tears from his eyes. Merlin, embarrassed to have intruded on such a moment, blushed and looked down. "Err...Harry's awake." He quickly explained.

"How is he?" Roxy asked.

"He's fine." Merlin admitted. "Not hostile, luckily. More...indifferent."

"I've gotta see him." Eggsy said, balling his shirt sleeves in his hands and scrubbing the wetness in his eyes again before standing.

Roxy's hand shot out and stopped him.

"You can't go alone." She said, concerned.

He smiled shallowly down at her. "I've gotta try, right?" He said.

She stared at him mutely for a moment before nodding and letting go.

…

Eggsy was about to walk straight through the door of the medical bay, thoughts of indecency and privacy barely crossing his mind, until he remembered Harry chastising him for not knocking the last time he'd visited him there so he stopped outside the door and wrapped his knuckles against it.

There was no reply and he momentarily wondered if Harry had left. He reached a hand out to try the handle and it was unlocked.

Tentatively, he opened the door and stepped inside.

Harry looked up at him as he entered. He was sat perched on the end of a neatly folded bed, dressed in a double breasted bespoke suit. He almost looked exactly like his old self except for the lack of glasses and the dull brown eyes but it was enough to startle Eggsy and momentarily stop him in his tracks.

"Hello." Harry said pleasantly, shocking the poor boy further.

"Hello." Eggsy replied slowly.

Harry stood and Eggsy found himself unconsciously taking a step back, a hand shooting out for the door handle.

"I'm not going to hurt you." Harry assured him.

Eggsy shook his head. "I ain't that." He said quietly.

Harry fell silent for a moment, clearly thinking behind his eyes, before he looked openly curiously at Eggsy.

"What's your name?" He asked earnestly. "Your real name, I mean."

Though hurt, Eggsy still replied.

"My name's Eggsy." He answered.

"Eggsy." Harry repeated slowly, rolling the new, odd name over his tongue, trying desperately to recall if he'd ever heard it before but coming up blank.

"And...I'm Harry. I think. You...said it before, and I remembered. I think." He even looked confused at his own thought process and it truly broke the already shattered pieces of Eggsy's heart.

"Your name is Harry Hart." He told him.

Harry nodded.

"And you and I knew each other, didn't we?" He asked rhetorically.

Eggsy looked away and didn't answer.

Harry pressed on.

"Merlin told me what happened at the garage," he explained before taking a deep breath. "I know you." He admitted. "I know that you're important somehow." His forehead creased in confusion as he spoke. "But I tried to kill you, three times now. Why would you save me?"

It was the word 'important' sparking something inside of Eggsy, and the innocence in asking why he would save him that drove Eggsy to be honest. Not just with Harry, but with himself.

"Because I love you." Was all he said before he surged forward, wrapping an arm around Harry's neck and yanking him close, capturing Harry's lips with his own and letting out a surprised, pained little moan all in one movement.

Harry found himself kissing him back, surprised at the warmth and insistent passion in every slide of their lips, every meeting of their tongues. He drank in Eggsy's moans, needing them like air. His hands were just beginning to settle on Eggsy's hips when the young agent quickly pulled away, turning and rushing from the room without looking back.

But Harry didn't have time to process his quick exit because he was too busy staggering back, unwillingly bombarded with images of the same person, of Eggsy, lying naked beneath him and arching his back, sweat pooling on his forehead and eyes clenched closed in blissful agony, almost certainly as if they were sleeping together.

But then the image changed and warped, then he was sat opposite him, chatting normally...staring down at his form tied to train track...

Harry sat back on the bed, blinking rapidly as image after image came soaring in front of him. He remembered training, he remembered becoming Galahad and then he heard a gunshot in his mind, point-blank range, causing genuine throbbing pain in the left side of his face. He clutched at his face as he cried out, then simply cried as his memory restored and reset itself. It hurt.

…

Roxy sent a sideways glance to Merlin as they walked.

"Are you sure we should be doing this?" She asked.

Merlin nodded.

"I'm sure. We need to find a way to stop Valentine and we have one very reliable source in this building we need to utilise. We need to find out what he knows."

Roxy nodded, knowing he was right but still feeling uneasy as she sent a glance back to Eggsy.

He was trailing a good foot behind the group in the corridor, looking uneasy and staring at his feet. He became aware of Roxy in his periphery glancing back and him and knew she thought he was scared about facing Harry but in actuality, the reason he didn't want to go was because he felt guilty. But not just guilty; completely shit. He knew he shouldn't have kissed Harry when he did, that it wasn't right and he'd done it for selfish reasons but all it had done was destroy him more. Harry had kissed him back, passionately, and Eggsy felt like it should have sparked some form of hope inside of him that he could be saved but all it did was make him feel terrible. It reminded him, like a punch to the gut, of everything he'd had and everything he would never get back. He felt like he should have left well enough alone.

He also had no idea what Harry was going to say to him, and in front of everyone else as well, and was terrified to find out.

Percival knocked softly on the door of the medical bay before opening it and allowing everyone entrance before himself.

Harry was on his feet, bent over and examining some of the medical equipment in the room, he looked up as they entered, hands behind his back.

"Good morning, Harry." Percival greeted as he shut the door behind him.

"Good morning, Percival." Harry replied easily.

Shocked, Percival froze. "You remember your name?" He asked. "You remember your name?"

Harry nodded, looking vaguely amused. "Yes. I'm fairly certain my memory is restored now." As if to prove it, he inclined his head to Roxy.

"Roxanne Morton, you successfully completed training for Lancelot. Percival, Merlin, I wont disclose your identities for the sake of privacy but we've worked together for twenty five years. Percival, you saved my life in a Korean car-jacking; Merlin; you attended my fathers funeral for moral support."

The Kingsman gaped at him and Eggsy stared at the floor, heavily aware that Harry hadn't included any information about him. Although he supposed there wasn't much he could say without revealing their relationship to the rest of them, but he couldn't fathom why Harry would suddenly want to protect him after everything that had happened between them.

"Fascinating." Merlin said, once he'd closed his mouth. "Do you have any idea what brought this on?"

Eggsy looked up just in time to see Harry's gaze linger on him and Eggsy realised exactly what had happened, and exactly what part he'd played in restoring Harry's memories.

His mouth opened in shock and he immediately looked at the floor again. Harry, having apparently decided to preserve his dignity, merely replied; "I'm unsure."

"How are you feeling?" Roxy asked boldly.

"I don't feel anything." Harry replied simply.

Eggsy swallowed and turned away, not wanting everyone to see his reaction. Roxy gave him a quick glance before she pressed on.

"But how can you not feel anything if you can remember him?" She asked Harry, voice an odd mixture of clipped anger and sympathetic confusion.

"Well, I've been trying to get my own head around it all night." Harry began conversationally, as if it were somehow an interesting scientific method. "For example, I remember Merlin being my friend, and I remember caring deeply for him but I have none of those feelings now. I know I should care for morals and human life..." He continued easily, as if he'd not dropped a bombshell right on Merlin's head. "...But I don't anymore." He suddenly tilted his head. "I presume it's occurred to you to kill me."

"We need your help." Merlin steamrollered, brow furrowed and clearly hurt.

"With what?" Harry asked.

Eggsy turned back to them suddenly, brave-faced and arms crossed, he fixed Harry with a professional, guarded look. "We need to kill Valentine." He told him.

There was barely a beat before Harry replied; "okay. What did you have in mind?"

"I do have one idea." Merlin voiced, causing the rest of them to look at him.

"You do?" Percival asked.

"It's not pretty." Merlin responded.

"When is anythin' we do 'pretty'?" Eggsy asked. He turned his head to see Harry looking straight at him and found his voice dying in his throat.

"Maybe we should move this to a more comfortable setting." Percival voiced, noting the uneasy exchange between the pair of them.

"Yes, please." Roxy said immediately, turning and heading to the door. "It's freezing in here."

She was out of the medical bay before anyone had a chance to say anything else.

Merlin and Percival gave each other a confused look before Percival turned to Eggsy.

"We'll reconvene in the drawing room, whenever you're ready." He said and then they left, leaving Eggsy and Harry alone in the room.

Bastards. Eggsy cursed them as he eyed the door. He knew what they were trying to do, but figured they may have taken a slightly different course of action had they known the very recent intimacy the two had just shared.

Part of Eggsy just wanted to bolt after them but he supposed if Harry had ever taught him anything then it was manners.

He turned to see the man was staring simply at him, hands clasped gently in front of him.

Eggsy's eyes travelled over his form for a moment, and the stiff way he seemed to be holding himself, before he spoke.

"How are you feeling?" He asked before shaking his head. "I don't mean like that, emotions an' all. I mean, are you in pain?"

"A little." Harry admitted honestly. "Having a roof fall on you smarts, rather. But it was my own fault."

Eggsy found himself shaking his head. "It weren't your fault." He said. "It was her fault, she did this to you. I know you don't know this but you were, are, a really great guy, Harry."

"We were together." He said bluntly.

Eggsy actually, surprising, found himself smiling shyly. "We were half-together. We were nearly together, we had...we had a future."

Harry looked at the floor and there was no way Eggsy could possibly fathom what he was thinking.

He felt his mouth go dry.

"I'm sorry for kissin' you."

Harry glanced up, catching the guilty look on his face.

"Eggsy..." He began, and that already killed the young agent. Hearing Harry use his name with familiarity. He thought that had killed him, but then Harry carried on. "...If you don't want to talk about what happened yesterday, we don't have to. I'm not going to pressurise you into that, I...feel...as though I don't have the right, considering I've tried to kill you..." Eggsy nodded. "...But please don't apologise for kissing me."

Eggsy's head snapped up to him, Harry was still staring with his dull brown eyes. They looked at each other for the longest moment and Eggsy was certain that they were communicating, that something was happening. Harry had kissed him back, after all.

Then Harry moved away, to the door, pulling it open and standing aside.

"We should probably meet with the others. After you." He said.

Eggsy passed through the door, cautious not to get too close as he didn't trust his body around Harry. Especially with what he'd just said. He felt the electricity crackle between them as he passed and held his breath.

He tried to keep out of step with him as they walked to the drawing room, even though there was nothing he wanted more than to talk to him, to be with him, he wished they had the privacy of Harry's home or one of the empty rooms, not in the bloody corridors with people expecting them and Merlin's cameras everywhere.

But after a moment of walking in silence, Eggsy noticed Harry overtake him, only slightly, and then he realised that he was following him. Or rather, Harry was leading the way.

Eggsy couldn't stop a small smile spreading across his lips as he watched Harry's back. Roxy was right, he had to try and get through to him, Harry was in there somewhere.

Love and perseverance were stronger forces than chips and coding.

Harry put his hand out to the varnished door knob to the drawing room and Eggsy jogged to reach him, pressing one hand against his shoulder to still him while his other covered Harry's hand on the knob, squeezing gently.

Harry regarded the intimate contact wearily before his dark eyes met Eggsy's.

"I'm not gonna give up on you." Was all the younger agent said before he turned the knob and let go of Harry's hand, walking into the room as if nothing had just occurred between them.

Harry watched him, remembering why he'd recruited him in the first place. And he was also fairly certain why he'd let the boy into his heart in the first place.

"Can I offer anyone a drink?" Percival asked, producing a decanter of scotch.

"No, thank you." Harry replied.

"Body's a temple." Merlin muttered as Harry sat.

"Well, half of it is metal and half of it is butterfly stitches." Harry replied.

Merlin nodded. "So you're still sarcastic as fuck?"

"Is sarcasm an emotion?" Harry asked.

"It is for you."

Percival cleared his throat. "Anyway..." He interrupted. Roxy sent Eggsy a bewildered look and he merely shrugged back. So it wasn't just him wishing his friend back.

"Right." Merlin cleared his throat and stood up. "Like I said, it's a little morbid but Harry really inspired me when he tried to blow up Eggsy."

Eggsy pulled a face and Merlin pursed his lips.

"Okay, that came out wrong, what I mean is that, presumably, Valentine has explosives. So we could destroy the entire base, with all of their work including her, and all of her soldiers. If we're incapable of getting rid of the inhibitor chips and they're loyal to her then we can't do much."

Eggsy looked away. He hated being the one behind the decisions concerning collateral damage. He wished Percival would just tell him what to do but supposed they all had to take responsibility now.

Harry, as blasé and indifferent as always, merely nodded.

"The explosives in the base are code-operated, much like everything there, but I can activate them if we go back. I'd say there's enough there to take the base out. Considering the industrialisation it's undergone. I never paid much heed to the under belly but I'd put money on there being flammable gases inside."

"That's freakin' morbid." Eggsy voiced under his breath. But the way Harry inclined his head to him, Eggsy knew that he'd heard him.

…

Merlin piloted the jet, Roxy and Percival were sat on separate seats in the fuselage and Eggsy stole to the galley and pulled out his phone.

"Hey Mum." He greeted when she answered, forcing himself to sound cheery.

"Hey sweetheart, I was hoping I'd hear from you soon. How's everything going?"

Eggsy found himself wishing that he could tell her about the nightmarish few days he'd had but instead swallowed all of it away.

"Yeah, great. Well interestin'. I'm just callin' 'cause I think I might be home in a few days."

"Oh that's great, babe."

"Yeah. Is Daisy okay?" He tried to keep the worry from his voice.

"Yeah, she's fine. Misses you, though."

Eggsy laughed with his mother, feeling a lump in his throat and forcing it down.

"Well, I gotta go. Love you, and see you soon."

"Love you too, sweetheart."

Eggsy hung up quickly, but before he could allow himself to get worked up, he swivelled on his feet to see that Harry had joined him in the galley.

The former-Galahad looked suddenly uneasy, as if intruding on a private moment.

The pair remained silent and stared at the floor instead of each other for a long, awkward moment.

"I'm sorry." Harry said finally, looking at him. "I...think I'm making Percival and Lancelot uncomfortable."

Eggsy nodded, stashing his phone into the pocket of his suit trousers and looking back at him.

"Well, yeah...they..."

"Think I should be killed?" Harry supplied easily and Eggsy blushed.

"Well, I dunno about that, but don't worry, I ain't gonna let that happen."

"Because you're never giving up on me." Harry declared conversationally, but it sounded more accusing than questioning. Eggsy found his eyes narrowing.

"Don't make me feel like an idiot." He pressed. "Someone's gotta look after you."

"I don't want you to waste your time." Harry admitted bluntly.

"I..." Eggsy began, unconsciously taking a step forward before his words died in his throat and he apprehended the man in front of him. "There must be some way for you to feel again." He continued, sounding suddenly desperate. "Everyone can be saved. If you can adapt and learn, then you can transform. You taught me that."

"Maybe not everyone." Harry said immediately, and Eggsy felt his stomach sink.

The hardest part was Harry being in complete defiance, if only Harry wanted his help, then the task before him would be so much easier. But then at the same time, so much worse if nothing could be done.

Eggsy reasoned that he should be grateful that Harry was content with his lot but it wasn't enough for him, he didn't care how selfish it was but Harry, the real Harry who was lost in there somewhere, wouldn't want this for himself.

Eggsy couldn't help feeling like he was screaming out behind those dull brown eyes for Eggsy's help but he just couldn't hear him.

"Don't you feel anything for me?" Eggsy found himself asking, stepping forward to Harry and reaching a hand out. Harry took it in his own and looked quizzically up at Eggsy. "Now that you remember what we meant to each other."

Harry held his hand for a moment before dropping it suddenly. "I don't." He said.

"But...you kissed me." Eggsy said, confused. Aware that the others were mere metres away and could probably hear everything he was saying.

Harry looked like he was desperately searching for a reply before he said; "it was pleasant."

Eggsy couldn't help but feel like Harry was merely trying to make him feel better rather than supplying any honest answer.

"All right," Eggsy began quickly, trying to subdue the pain in his chest whilst at the same time going red with embarrassment. "Try to remember some of the ways you did feel. How did you feel about me before?"

Harry looked at Eggsy's hopeful face and searched desperately in his memory for any kind of emotion he'd had for the boy, he didn't particularly know why he was playing this ridiculous game with him but he didn't really know much when it came to Eggsy.

He remembered the times before they'd begun to become romantically involved, the time they'd spent together getting to know each other. Harry remembered training Eggsy, watching him change and transform into the competent agent stood before him.

"I remember being proud of you." He finally supplied.

'He was never proud of me' , that's what Eggsy had said once. That was what Eggsy had genuinely believed once, because how could Harry be proud of the useless estate kid who'd failed him, and watching this poor replica staring at him emotionlessly after dropping such a bombshell, knowing that he'd made Harry proud just made things worse. He wasn't sure if anything could make things better at this point.

"You fucking liar." He found himself spitting at Harry.

Harry's brow furrowed. "I'm not lying to you, I was genuinely proud."

Eggsy swallowed heavily before shaking his head. That wasn't what he was lying about, it was that Eggsy had lost him, when Harry had promised that he never would.

Harry stared unblinkingly as Eggsy had this thought process, and after a moment seemed to realise he wasn't going to get any kind of response.

Recognising a lost cause when he saw one, Harry turned and left, just missing the tear dripping down Eggsy's left cheek.