Regaining consciousness is one thing, hearing conversations around you and regaining memories. I'm used to that feeling, being in and out of the hospital growing up it's something you get used to. Waking up entirely, being able to talk and actually take in everything that's going on around you is another. So inhaling the familiar scent of sterilized… everything and the reoccurring 'beep' of the heart monitor, I knew I was in a hospital. I'm slowly regaining consciousness at this point. My body slowly preparing me to make a dramatic entrance into this world. I wonder what happened this – and that's when I'm flooded with memories.
4 wolves ramming into our car.
Flipping.
Landing into a tree.
The flames.
Pulling me out.
Pulling out the glass shard.
Welcoming death.
Why would I welcome death? Why would I not fight for Josh? Well obviously I must have if I'm still awake. But damn, I must have been in a lot of pain. I'm not even moving and I can feel the damage done to my body. 'Amber?'
'I'm here.'
'Thank Goddess. Are you okay?'
Lying back down, her paws used as a pillow she nods, 'Yes. Just tired. We took a lot of damage.'
That's when voices flooded into my ears, as if I had headphones on blocking out the noise and I actually took them off. "I can honestly say, I'd rather die than be without her. I'd rather have a first shift every day, be whipped every day or be shot with silver every day only to be healed and have it done again then to lose her. Never in a million years did I realize how strong this bond would be. Farkle's basically been in charge, running things by me but I've been focused on her. She's healing just – I know this goes without being said but cherish mom."
His voice. It's like my own form of medicine. The familiar warm sparks on my hand, fluttering my eyelids open. His scent along with Alpha Allen's becoming stronger. "Wow, the feels are strong with this one." I force a smile, but truth is-talking even hurts. What the hell happened to my stomach?
"Baby girl." Words whimpered out cut to my core. His orbs filled to the brim with tears, his hand cupping my face. "Oh my Goddess you're awake." Lips connecting to every part of my face until successfully landing where I've been wanting all along. He's gentle and doesn't move to deepen it. Which is perfect because I'm having to take quick, shallow breaths. "I love you so much Maya." His tears falling on my cheek leaving a hot trail behind them.
Lifting up my right hand, I brush across his jawline. Clearly he hasn't shaved in a few days, I wonder how long I was out. "I'm here. I'm okay."
Shaking his head furiously from side to side he pecks my lips again. "You don't know what happened do you?" I don't have to wait long, he replies without me saying a thing. "You died Maya. For 5 minutes you were gone. You left me. We just found each other and you left me Maya." He sobs, his head resting against my chest. I died? Oh my Goddess. "M-my mark was burning. I felt the bond break, the whole pack we felt it Maya." More tears falling from my mate, my heart breaking as I feel all of his pain and sadness that he's endured the past few days. A broken wolf in front of me, slowly being put back together.
My hand continuously stroking his hair, but his tears don't let up. "Your mark on me was beginning to fade Maya. Please don't ever leave me again." More kisses all over my face, I can't believe I put him through that. I'm so selfish.
"Promise." I whisper since that is easier on my throat, and it's my truth. I would continue to fight for him if I was to ever be put back into that situation again. "Water?"
"Oh yeah!" Scurrying around the room he grabs a water bottle, "Sorry baby girl." As soon as I start to sit up I whimper from the pain, plopping back down on the pillow with a THUD. "No, no. Stay down. I'll bring it to you." True to his word, the plastic from the bottle touched my lips and tilted up so I could quench my thirst and hopefully aid my throat. "That piece of glass in your stomach ruptured your aorta. They had to go in and stich you up." Sighing happily as the liquid soothes the burning sensation.
Wide eyes, I glance at my mate. Taking him in for the first time, his hair a mess and small bags under his swollen eyes. It's like he's been sleeping but not comfortably and not for long periods of time. How often had he been crying? "Okay, so don't move. Check. What else?"
Nervously glancing at his feet he begins to rub his face. "You broke your arm in 2 places. A dislocated hip and when we pulled you out we j-jerked you and tore your ACL and meniscus."
Throwing my head from side to side I sigh and run my fingers through my hair. "How long can I not shift or run for?"
Josh furrows his brows, "I thought you'd be a lot more upset. I'm so sorry we had to pull you out like that-"
Immediately I wave him off. "Stop it's fine. I would have done the same thing, an injury versus death. I'll take the former. Now," glancing up at my mate who is itching to do something. Seeing his hand reach out to me but quickly retreats. I can't help but chuckle to myself. He wants to touch me but is afraid of hurting me. "I couldn't do anything for slightly over a week last time. How long this time?"
"Last time?"
Tilted head, he's so adorable. Giving him a look that says, 'seriously you're asking me about past wounds whenever my father's an ass hole' his eyes widen in realization. Before shifting to black pools, "Good afternoon Little Luna."
Smiling – well more like grimacing since it still pains me to make a whole lot of effort – I glance at Allen who has remained quiet up until this point. Welcoming the distraction for Josh mostly, he is still arguing with Jax on taking control. "Good afternoon Alpha Allen, how's the pack?"
"A mixture of worry, devastation and relief. They won't be happy until they can see your smiling face again." He states and takes a seat in one of the available chairs. Far enough away to not be seen as a threat by his son. Eyes shifting towards his second born, he shakes his head. "Number 2." Josh's gaze flickers to him. Claws elongated, eyes fading from black to amber. Jax is really fighting this. "Now is not the time."
"Wants Maya." He grits through his teeth and that's when realization dawns upon us. I thought he just was mad about my father since he caused well, everything.
"Let him out. But behave Jax." Instantly Josh's head rolls to the side in relief. "Hey Jax." Words in the softest tone I can muster.
Several whimpers, hands reaching out for me before being retracted again. "Human says not to touch."
"First of all don't be mad at him. This wasn't his fault, don't call him human that hurts his feelings." Jax nods and tentatively takes a step forward. "Secondly you can touch me just be gentle okay?"
Nodding his head, he places his cheek next to mine. Inhaling deeply, a few chaste kisses and then tears. These boys are breaking my heart. With my good hand I stroke his hair, tucking it behind his ear. He needs a haircut. "Mate died. I go with mate anywhere." Holding in tears hurts when you're injured. Letting them fall freely I glance at Alpha Allen who is watching us with a light smile. "Jax loves mate, mate loves us?"
I know he's just wanting words of comfort and I'll do anything to get him to stop crying. Plus you know I do love him. "I love you Jax. And I love your human."
The door opening pulls me out of the moment. Jax still hovers in my neck, kissing and inhaling deeply. Assuring himself that I'm alive and as well as I can be. "Good afternoon Luna Maya." Instantly Jax is in front of my bed. Flashing him a smile, showing this male what he's going to have to deal with should he come closer.
"Jax, not now."
It's a completely instinctual reaction. When a female is at her weakest point, whether it be in situations like this or childbirth. He protects his mate with everything he has. Everything is seen as a threat, which is why lots of males are forced to leave the room during childbirth. Allen rising from his seat when Jax won't back down. "Are you his handler?" The doctor asks in a serious tone while squaring up his shoulders to show Jax he isn't afraid. I'm sure he gets this sort of reaction all the time.
"He won't be needing one. Right son?"
His words dark and deadly, but it goes unregistered to Jax. "Jax." At the sound of my voice, his tense shoulders visibly relax. "Come here, I need you." He's having to reign in his instincts while taking a few steps back. I need to call out to him again, "Come to me mate."
Shaking his head clear, he takes the remaining steps towards me. "We're sorry." Again he starts to place kisses all over my neck and face, leaving sparks and a warm trail in its wake.
The doctor laughs and shakes his head. "That's the first time he's done that."
Furrowed brows, I glance towards Alpha Allen. That's pretty surprising. "Jax has basically been dead. Alive but just." Eyes widening I clutch onto his shirt even more. He didn't tell me that. "We've found out that if something were to happen to you, that Jax – Josh's wolf in case you didn't know doctor – would die as well. He has a strong bond with not just your wolf but you as well Maya."
"I'm so sorry Jax." Stroking his cheek he pulls away slightly to peck my nose before inhaling my scent deeply.
"You came back." Nuzzling his face deep, he crawls up on the bed beside me. Knees tucked underneath his stomach in an effort to take up as little space as possible. I don't even think he realizes that he's doing it. "Don't leave us again. You die, I die, human dies." A chain of events that would be catastrophic.
Doctor Matthew, checked my wounds. I still have the brace on my knee, but my bones are repaired in my arm. However, it will be sore. The stitches in my stomach are there and he's expecting I'll be sore for another week. JOY! He doesn't want to check my hip for movement because of my stomach, and for that I'm grateful. But he did an ultra-sound and told me that it's in place – so I'm assuming that's good. "When can she travel?"
A glance towards me, then to my mate, eye shifting back to Alpha Allen. "It will be uncomfortable for her either way. If you wait for a few days or if you just bite the bullet and do it now. I'd say she can take leave in the morning. I overheard Alpha William making arrangements for your warriors, a place for them to sleep. But before you do decide to leave, I'll need to check the stitches on your aorta, I just want to make sure they are in well and won't tear. So wait for me to discharge you."
Nodding my head, the doctor dismisses himself from the room. "I'm so happy you're safe Maya. And not just because of my son or the pack." Reassuring words, he cares for me. Glancing at my mate his eyes are closed, lips parted and his breathing is steady.
My mate fell asleep.
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The door opening has my eyelids fluttering open. Farkle steps inside and bows his head, "Thank you for handling things for myself and Josh when we were unable to."
Cheeks are tinging a bright pink, "It's an honor Luna. Thank you for the compliment." I don't laugh even if I want to. I learned that mistake earlier when Josh rolled off the bed. "Alpha wanted me to come protect you. I hope you don't mind."
"Not at all." I realize my words are barely a whisper, "Where is he?"
"Setting a schedule." I glance at him with a look of curiosity, luckily he sees it. "We're having some of our wolves run patrols tonight. Every 2 hours there will be a new group sent out, so the previous can rest for the trip back home." Shaking my head in disbelief, I don't question it but I'm sure the power pack wolves could handle it. "I'd just let him appease himself Luna Maya. You didn't see the broken man who lost his mate." The lump in his throat bobs up and down, I can see the glassy feature in his orbs. "I watched a man – a strong wolf – that I've never seen fall to his knees or cry do both while screaming in pure agonizing pain. It hurt, it hurt me whenever I felt our bond break but I hope to the Moon Goddess I will never have to experience losing a mate." He holds in his tears like a male is taught.
He chuckles nervously and wipes his face lingering slightly longer on his eyes, "I mean he was crawling on his hands and knees to get to your jacket to smell your scent. He was calling out for Jax, screaming for him to not leave him. I don't think he realized he was screaming out loud. Josh kept saying I want to go with mate. The entire hospital was in tears." Sniffling to myself, I don't even care about the pain.
It's nothing compared to what my male had to go through.
"Maya he asked me to kill him." My silent tears turned to loud sobs immediately. Hand cupping over my mouth in a desperate attempt to silence them. "7 minutes. A total of 7 minutes and all of that went down. I'm not saying this to upset you, I guess this is my way of processing everything that happened."
The door is thrown open, a frenzied Josh runs towards me. "Why are you crying? Where does it hurt? Do you need more medicine? I felt our bond, so much sadness it hurt. Why sadness?"
Farkle's already out the door. I stare at the male in front of me, my world. "You asked Farkle to kill you?"
He's not ashamed when he firmly says, "Yes." More tears fall down, Josh leans over to hug me but before he can I feel the sting of the slap on my hand. Knitted brows, wide eyes he's as shocked as I am about what I just did.
"DON'T YOU EVER! EVER DO THAT!" Immediately regretting the decision to move, cry and yell I lie back down on my pillow. "Don't you ever-"Lips press against mine. I don't even care about oxygen enough to pull away because all I want is my male. Until I find something else to say, to make him understand why that was the stupidest thing he's ever said. "What if he did, what if you Alpha ordered him and he did kill you and I would have woken up?" My fist hits his chest, "YOU ASSHOLE!" He kisses me again, more tears on my cheeks, they aren't just mine. Hungrily our mouths move in sync with one another. Clinging onto something, his hands in my hair my hands fisting his shirt. The sparks follow his lips down to my jawline then to my neck. "I love you." I sob out before he leans over me to pull me into his embrace.
"I love you Maya." Sniffling before he kisses my head, "Please don't ever leave me."
"I won't." Promised words that I will ensure I keep. I don't even have to think twice about it, I'll never put my male through that again. "You don't ever do that! Ever again, I won't ever forgive you!"
Shushing me he begins to stroke my hair in an effort to calm me down. It works. Gently brushing his thumb against my cheek, he hums the tune to my mother's song. I fill in the words, "I will love you for you. Not for what you have done or what you will become." My eyes start to close again, seeing the button in Josh's hands makes me realize he gave me another dose of pain medication.
"Rest baby girl. I'm sorry I scared you, but I also can't live without you. I love you to the moon and back again my sweet Luna." I feel his lips press against my forehead as my eyelids start to flutter. I swear they put some sleeping something in that drip. This stuff knocks me out fast.
'I love mate.' Amber's falling asleep as well, her tail barely wagging as she whispers those words.
'Me too.'
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Waking up the next day is quite a surprise to me, I slept for a really long time. The sun is slightly over the hills by my guess I'd say it is 7 maybe 8 o'clock. Josh's head is resting on my bed, the rest of his body curled up in a chair, his fingers intertwined with mine. A light knock on the door and Dr. Matthew peeks his head in. "Morning Luna." He whispers, "I wanted to check you out early so you could leave at your leisure."
Nodding my head he lifts up my gown, while I adjust the blankets to keep myself covered. Immediately Josh is up, the first thing he sees is a male looking at his female's flesh. I can already feel the anger and protectiveness coming to light, "Josh he's checking my aorta, remember?" Canines still descending, "If we want to go home he has to do this baby." Eyes darting from Dr. Matthew to my stitches and eventually falling onto me he drops his shoulders.
"If it helps Alpha, I am mated. I only have eyes for her."
'Maya's prettier.'
"JOSH!" Instantly he drops his head. He's so tired, he keeps forgetting to put up his mind block. Poor thing. "Continue Dr. Matthew. My mate won't be a problem anymore."
"Fantastic." My incision is still red and swollen and yucky looking. But the stitches are already starting to dissolve so that's a good thing. Wincing from the pain of him touching it, Josh is already out of his seat. "I'll get your handler." That only makes Josh growl more. No male likes to be handled. Most of the time a handler is only necessary during childbirth when the males get to overprotective when there's a male in the room. Cory's told me stories where new fathers have had to be taken out of the room during child birth by their father's or stronger wolves – AKA handlers – if Cory has to come in to help birth a pup. Males are so protective.
"Josh sit. Now." I demand and grip his hand tighter. He does as he's told but he's not happy about it. Grumpy male.
A few minutes later, and a lot of Josh's frustration flowing through our bond I'm cleared to leave. Giving me recommendations for the ride home to lie flat and put something over my seatbelt so it won't mess with my incision. Blahbity blahbity blah, I really just care about the drugs. 20 minutes later after Josh helped me stand and get dressed which was an adventure itself, I'm in a purple sun dress that's loose to not put pressure on my incision and to not restrict my knee which is in this incredibly uncomfortable cast. "Come on beautiful girl, let's get you home."
Please and thank you.
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Let me know what you think lovelies! I think i'm going to do a double update today, it won't be till later because i'm going to my bday dinner but i'll update again.