12. Simplicity

"Out of clutter, find simplicity." — Albert Einstein

Sunagakure became home. He didn't know if it became home the moment he stepped foot in the deep sands of the desert environment, or the moment he reentered Temari's apartment. Whenever he had the opportunity to make a conscious decision, to decide where he wanted to place he roots, he chose Suna. He couldn't get the image of pale eyes out of his mind; he couldn't dismiss the feel of delicate hands tracing their way along his body. Despite his troubles, he tried. He took a smaller office in the Kazekage tower and started collecting scrolls of information on the ties between Suna and Konoha. He took some of the work from Gaara and Kankuro, but neither of them complained. Shikamaru shared the weight of his work with Temari, just as easily as he shared her bed. But late at night, when she slept, he contemplated life with Neji versus life without Neji. His insomnia resurfaced at an alarming rate, quickly overtaking any boundaries he'd had in place. His memories swallowed him whole, until there was nothing more than a shadow left behind. He struggled in a way he'd never struggled before, and he felt as if he had no one to catch him when he fell. It wasn't that Temari neglected him, that she ignored him, but she couldn't see underneath the underneath, not in the way that Neji could. Shikamaru kept comparing her to Neji, and every time he compared them, Temari lost. Every single time.

He knew he was being unfair. He knew he was setting himself up for failure—he was setting her up for failure—but he couldn't help himself. He couldn't help the way he felt. And it wasn't always surrounding Neji. He thought about Chouji. He thought about Ino. He thought about the rest of the rookie nine. His home was Suna, but he'd forgotten to tell his heart. As he stood on the apartment's balcony, he stared up at the twinkling stars overhead, and he wondered how many others were doing the same thing.

"There you are," Temari interrupted him. She slid open the door to the balcony and stepped out to join him, and he couldn't say that he minded. She stood next to him, their arms brushing, and began to point out the constellations in the sky. Unknowingly, he'd begun to shiver. "Are you cold?" He waved a dismissive hand, but she no longer pointed out the constellations. They just stood there, one staring at the sky and the other looking out over the city of sand. "He's all you think about, isn't he?"

"Temari," he said, his tone enough of a warning.

"Am I ever going to be enough?" The similarities were striking, and he couldn't stand to hear anymore. Somehow, he'd found a woman to love him, and he'd led her down the very same road he'd embarked upon himself. They were both on separate sides of the ocean, on different sides of the street, and he couldn't bear it.

"You're enough," he said, echoing the words that had been said to him only weeks before. "Come here." He beckoned her closer, and he wrapped his arms around her. Much of their emotions relied on physical contact, which should have been a red flag in itself, but both of them were just stumbling along. "Why do you love me?" He didn't know why he asked, but he did. The words were effortless, practically weightless. She'd never told him that she loved him, but he knew.

"Because you deserve to be loved, you idiot," she said, holding onto him even tighter. After such words, his bones felt brittle, as if her embrace in itself were enough to turn him to dust. She really loved him.

"I'm doing my best. I'm trying. That has to be enough right now," he explained slowly. "You deserve more than I can give you, you know that," he said, just as slowly. "Tell me you know that." Without saying a word, she nodded. He pressed a kiss to her blonde hair and ran his hands over her back in soothing circles. He didn't know what else to say to her to make her feel better. He'd said all the things he'd wanted someone to say to him.

The following day, the two of them made the journey back to Konoha. Glassmakers from Suna wanted a trade deal with Konoha, and Shikamaru was obligated to deliver the scrolls on pricing and payment. In addition to the agreement, Shikamaru had been told to report to Konoha for at least one week a month; with only one week left in the month, he had to go back to the Leaf Village. The journey took three days, with a severe thunderstorm interrupting the middle portion of the journey. Temari and Shikamaru arrived in Konoha on a rainy Monday, emerging from the pouring rain like drowned rats. They went directly to the Hokage tower and reported to Kakashi, presenting the man with the glassmakers' arrangements.

"I think we should negotiate with the pricing; otherwise, this seems like a wise decision. We need glass. Suna is a top exporter in glass. Thanks to the kindness of the Kazekage," Shikamaru said, risking a glance at Temari, "they're at our disposal."

"I'll leave the price negotiations to you. If you have any questions about our budget, you can look through the books." Kakashi didn't seem too interested in the conversation, and Shikamaru couldn't blame him. "I think it's time for the next Hokage," he sighed.

"You've only been in this position for a few months," Temari spoke up. Kakashi turned around in his chair, his gaze moving from the pouring rain outside the picture window to her unhappy face. Both she and Shikamaru wondered why Tsunade bothered to give Kakashi the position. Naruto had been slated for the next Hokage, but Tsunade claimed he wasn't mature enough for the role. Of course, Kakashi disagreed. And somehow, some way, the hat had landed in Kakashi's lap. "With all due respect," she added, rather late.

"Uzumaki Naruto here!" The door flew open and papers scattered everywhere. The boy in question entered the room with his arms full of books. "Where do you want these things? They're really heavy," Naruto complained, doing his balancing act as he moved toward the desk.

"These are the accounting details. And this is Naruto," Kakashi introduced. He spoke as if no one had heard the name before, as if no one had heard the one in question introduce himself just seconds beforehand. "He's my assistant. I'm training him."

"Already?"

"Great job, Naruto."

Shikamaru and Temari both blurted out the words and then simultaneously turned to look at one another. Temari obviously didn't think he was qualified for the position, while Shikamaru thought otherwise. Naruto gave them a thumbs up and then dropped the stack of books onto a clear spot on the desk. Sometime during the little exchange, Kakashi had disappeared. Shikamaru swore under his breath, but he hadn't expected different. Kakashi was always tardy and disappeared when it suited him. Shikamaru clapped a hand on Naruto's back, while Temari rolled her eyes. Maybe it was a little soon, but Naruto wanted the job, and he'd already proven himself time and time again.

"Did you get lost in here again, dobe?" Sasuke poked his head into the room and addressed Naruto.

"To hell with you. I wasn't lost the first time, teme!" Naruto shot back.

Temari collected the three most recent accounting books and Shikamaru led her away from the commotion and into one of the completed meeting rooms. "Maybe they should kiss and get it over with," she said, speaking under her breath. She didn't expect for them to hear her, and true enough, they were still arguing. Their voices carried down the hallway

"They did. It didn't help," Shikamaru chuckled.

A/N: I apologize for the shortness of this chapter. I remember having problems writing this one. I also wanted the shortness to hint at what Shikamaru and Temari's current relationship is like. It's almost short and to the point. The next chapter has more content. Let me know what you think, please!