Author's Note: This is my first story, so constructive criticism is welcome. Just be respectful.
So I am literally ignoring majority of season 3. Especially considering I got the idea for this before the season started. That and I hate angst. So, Sara's alive, but Laurel is still around. Well, not alot. I haven't really figured out how to write her. But, I really do love the friendship she is developing with Felicity, and I believe she deserved more time with her sister. That and feminism.
Most of the conversation within the stories are conversations that have happened, or could happen between my friends and I, so there is a shit ton of cursing. Just a little warning.
Most importantly, I want to give a huge thank you to PendulumWings, who wrote an amazing story that gave me the idea for this one and was kind enough to read my rough draft and give me an honest opinion. The link to the story is in my profile.
And that's it. Enjoy :)
p.s. The food mentioned in the story, pholourie, is pronounced po-lor-ree. The h is silent.
Disclaimer: Plot and OCs are mine, everything else is not.
After numerous suspicious sounding phone calls and off handed comments about past escapades, it was safe to say that all of Team Arrow was itching to meet at least one of Felicity's friends from home.
So when one of their missions took them to Vegas and happened to coincide with Charlotte and Ryan's celebratory party, Oliver, Digg, and Roy jumped on the opportunity to go.
Well more Oliver than Digg and Roy.
Digg was going in place of Sara who would be arriving the night they left and wouldn't be back in enough time to come with. When suggested that she could meet them in Vegas, she mentioned that it had been a while since she saw her family and it would be nice to let her dad know she was still kicking. So while they were gone she would be taking over patrols while Laurel sat at the helm for a change.
Roy was just excited for a free trip to Vegas. On Thea's (Malcolm's) dime of course. Ever since her return back to Starling and finding out the truth, she'd been determined that Oliver kept her in the loop. That included letting her help however she can.
Naturally Felicity was hesitant. In fact, to her it felt like a set up. If it wasn't for the fact that she was the one to find out about their target's own trip to Vegas, she would've called bullshit. Especially considering how excited Oliver seemed to be.
The day before they flew out he actually teased her about her own hesitance. It was the most comfortable they had been together for a while. It gave her hope that maybe they could get past their disaster of a date and even get back together. Were they even together? Did it take a full 24 hours for a relationship to be valid? She'll have to consult Charlotte when she see's her.
"I want to formally apologize now for whatever you are about to see tonight." Felicity said as she led Oliver, Digg, and Roy up to the wide porch of a beautiful two story house. "I never intended for any of you to see this side of me. But if you give me the word we can walk away now. Saving you from unknown trauma and me from humiliation." She finished with a wide smile and pleading eyes.
Digg shook his head. "Nope. I made a promise to Sara."
Felicity sighed and turned to Oliver who merely grinned. "It can't be that bad. I'm sure we'll love your friends." Felicity whined softly. "Come on, stop whining. And don't look to Roy, he was promised free food, and if that is what I am smelling now, neither of us are leaving until we get some." He finished as he put his hand on the small of her back, pushing her softly to the door.
Felicity rolled her eyes and lifted her hand to the door. "Last chance. My friends aren't harmless."
Oliver smiled. "Fe-lic-ity."
She groaned and knocked.
"Who dares invades my territory?" A voice belonging to a woman answered.
"It's Felicity."
"Felicity? What the fuck is a Felicity?" The voice responded in a false confused tone.
Felicity jutted out her hip, placing a hand upon it. "I know damn well you can see me through the peephole."
A snort followed. "That attitude won't grant you entry."
Felicity relented, knowing the person's knack for playing games and stubborn nature. "I'm sorry. It's me, Cunt Spice."
"Cunt Spice! Is that you? My precious nugget of cunt? Is that really you? Have you returned to me?"
Felicity laughed. "Yes, my love. It is I. Please open the door and let me greet you in the way of our people."
"What the fuck? Did she just call you a nugget of cu-" Roy's face twisted in confusion.
"Oh yeah, don't worry about that. Normally, she'll call me lil bitch. Don't ask why; just know that my friends have a tendency of using insults as terms of endearment. We actually made it a competition to see who can come up with the most creative way to call someone a cunt throughout my entire freshman year of college. So don't be alarmed. We do actually love each other. Sometimes." Felicity shrugged.
"What's the password?" A snicker was heard.
"Are you fucking serious? I don't need a password. I'm Cunt Spice." Felicity scoffed.
"Oh really? Guess who's not getting in, slore?"
"Open the door."
"Nope." The voice responded, emphasizing the p.
"Willa, it is raining. Open the fucking door."
"Not my problem. I'm inside. You know, chilling, relaxing all cool." Willa teased.
"OPEN. THE FUCKING. DOOR. YOU HOLE. OF. ASS." Felicity yelled. After a beat the door open to reveal a woman with a smug grin on her face. "...See, was that so hard."
Willa was a little taller than Felicity of Indian descent with brown skin and long black hair tumbling down her back. The glow on her skin could be attributed to the large belly greeting them.
Felicity glared at her slightly. "You're lucky you're pregnant."
Willa scoffed and tossed her hair. "You're lucky I'm pregnant."
The women continued to stare at each other for a minute before breaking into smiles and leaning in for a hug.
"I missed you so much. You look amazing. How do you feel?" Felicity pulled back to rub her belly.
"I missed you too, Lisard." Willa sighed, stepping back to let everyone in. "Currently, I'm hungry and a little too sober for this shit. How do people willingly want kids? Don't get me wrong, I'm excited about my little parasite but goddamn, these next two months can't go fast enough. I will kill for a margarita."
"Please don't. Giving birth in jail is not fun. Plus, it not good for my godchild. And we are being rude. These are my friends fr-"
Willa held up a hand. "Stop right there. FRIENDS?! What the fuck do you mean friends? Who told you, you could make friends? Do you remember what happened the last time you brought friends?" Willa ranted.
"Yeah, Tyler married one. What of it?" Felicity responded.
"No the other group. The preacher fucker and the self-absorbed whiner."
Felicity shook her head. "Oh, no it okay, you'll like them. I've learned my lesson. You won't even need to purchase a snake this time." She smiled at Willa, missing the faces the guys gave her.
"Nah bitch we agreed. No new friends, no new friends. No new friends, no, no, no." Willa complained.
Felicity rolled her eyes. "Really Wil-"
"Hey Charlotte. Can you believe this? Felicity brought FRIENDS! Are we not good enough anymore?" Willa cut her off to walk more into the house, yelling to Charlotte in the kitchen.
"Mm, you know, I'm not surprised. One night, the sound of Chris Brown's voice came to me and tried to offer some advice on dealing with these tricks. But I said 'no, breezy. You beat Rihanna. She is one third of the holy trinity. You can't be trusted. But I guess just this one time he was right. These hoes just ain't loyal." Charlotte responded as she finished taking the last of the macaroni pie out of the oven.
"They're being dramatic. Come on in." Felicity waved Charlotte and Willa off, knowing they were being difficult on purpose.
"Are you sure?" Digg asked.
Felicity slapped her hands to her thighs. "Well I warned you." She rolled her eyes. "But yes, they aren't being serious. The pregnant harpy here is Willa James."
"Queen Harpy to you, bitch." Willa snapped as she settled on the couch.
"Whatever. The blond, tall toothpick in the corner is Eric Rothschild." The blond rolled his eyes at Felicity's description of him. He held up his hand to signal one minute, walked over to place a kiss on Felicity's cheek, which she returned, before leaving the room to take a call.
Digg remembered his name from that unfortunate phone call a while back and wondered if Oliver knew the extent of that friendship as he watched the man walk away.
"The rude bitch in the kitchen is Charlotte Park. My worst half of 20 years." Felicity comment was met with a sharp laugh from Charlotte as she finished in the kitchen and moved back into the living room, handing a plate filled to the brim with food to Willa. She smiled at the men in greeting.
"And you better never fucking forget it." She pulled Felicity in a tight hug and kissed her cheek. "I think I actually missed you, Lisard." Charlotte was Felicity's height with smooth brown skin and green eyes that glinted with mischief.
"Oooh, who would've thought? Are you growing a heart, Char?" Felicity snarked back.
Charlotte shook her head as she pulled back. "Don't get crazy. I'm still a stone cold bitch. Just with a stone cold rock on my finger." She said as she wiggled her left hand.
Felicity grabbed the hand and looked to Ryan. "I told you this was the right choice."
The man with the warmest brown eyes Felicity swears she has ever seen, thick brown hair and friendly demeanor smiles as he strides out of the hallway and makes his way over. Felicity releases Charlotte's hand and folds herself into one of Ryan's legendary hugs. His beard tickles her as he places a kiss to her cheek like his fiancée before him. "I never doubted your word."
He then turns to three men standing behind Felicity watching the scene in front of them. "Hi, I'm Ryan Clarke. You must be Felicity's friends." He offers each one of them a kind smile and a hand to shake. "Don't let Willa and Charlotte scare you. Crass is their natural setting and it always comes off meaner than it really is."
Felicity comes up behind him, laying her head on his shoulder. "Ryan is the sad bastard who's going to try to make an honest woman out of Char."
Eric snorted, walking back into the room. "Is that even possible?"
Charlotte glared over at him.
Felicity shrugged her shoulders. "It's a noble effort and I wish him the best of luck. But then again, nobody ever accused him of cowardice."
The group of friends nods their heads.
So, new friends, these are the psychos I grew up with." Felicity stated as she waved a hand over the room "Psychos, this is John Diggle, but we call him Digg," Felicity pointed to Digg as he waved. "Roy Harper." Roy nodded, still a little off put by Willa's greeting. "And Oliver Queen."
Nobody missed how the entire room seemed to turn to look at Oliver. Especially not the grin that took over Charlotte's face.
"Whatever you are going to do, don't." Felicity warned pointing towards Charlotte.
Oliver took a slight step closer to Felicity to mumble in her ear. "Should I be afraid?"
Felicity shook her head. "No, because Charlotte is going to be on her best behavior."
Charlotte scoffed. "Bitch, have you met me? I'm never on my best behavior. And this is my party. I'll do whatever the fuck I want." She moved to loop her arm through Oliver's. "Now, Mr. Queen and I are going to simply talk. Right, Oliver?" Charlotte asked without taking her eyes off of Felicity.
Oliver nodded his assent. He was aware of how important this group of friends is to Felicity. Especially Charlotte, who he knew Felicity, saw more as a sister.
Charlotte nodded at him and smiled at Felicity. "See. He agrees. I have so much to tell him about your childhood and past pyro tendencies." Charlotte teased.
Oliver smiled and looked down at Charlotte. "I did hear something about that but I never got the full story."
"I have all the stories." She grinned. "Oh, Willa ate all of the pholourie." Charlotte added as an after thought, turning back to Felicity.
Felicity's head snapped to Willa who sat on the couch, unfazed by the accusations being thrown at her. "Already! Willa, YOU FUCKING DIDN'T!"
Willa shrugged and continued eating what was left on her plate. "I'm pregnant and you're late. You knew what this was."
Felicity's head dropped backwards as she groaned loudly. "By only 30 minutes. Willa, all I've been thinking about this week is fucking pholourie with Auntie Dana's sauce. This has to be a goddamn joke. Tell me this is a fucking joke." Felicity whipped her head to Charlotte, who shook her head.
"Oh my Google, really? You guys really let preggo eat all of the pholourie?" Felicity whined and stomped her feet. "I can't believe this. I've literally dreamed about it last night."
Ryan chuckled and threw his arm over her shoulder. "Don't worry. I managed to save you a batch in a bag at the back of the fridge." Felicity's eyes widened and a smile took over her face. "With the sauce. I know how Willa gets."
Felicity smacked a kiss to Ryan's cheek before flipping the bird to Willa who was scowling at the two. "At least Ryan loves me. Come on new friends, I'm going to introduce you to the wonders of Trinidadian cooking."
"GET OFF OF MEEEEE!"
"No."
"I don't like you"
"C'mere."
"No"
"C'meerree" Charlotte whined. "I love you"
"I don't like you." Felicity snapped playfully before looking up at Willa and Eric. "Willa, HELP! ME!"
"Oh, I wish I could but I'm a little busy doing things like, creating life and being apathetic to your plight." Willa responded nonchalantly as she ignored the squirming mass of limbs and hair that was Felicity and Charlotte, in favor of whatever she and Eric were doing on his phone. The two of them were always extremely close and by now everyone mostly left them to their own devices.
On the couch across from them, Charlotte had Felicity in a death grip. Two slender arms wrapped around her and a leg thrown over her hip, as they lay front to back. A mass collision of chocolate curls and blonde hair sprayed above them.
"Fake friend." Felicity snapped.
"I'll live." Willa threw at her with a wide smile.
"Stop trying to leave me." Charlotte whined behind her, throwing more of her body on top of Felicity.
"GET. OFF. OF. ME. And don't LICK ME!"
"But I love you."
"Get off of me, ass. Hole."
"No"
"I'm going to throw you on the floor."
"I don't care. I'll take you with me"
"How about both of you get off of me?
"No."
"No?"
"C'mere, lil mama let me whisper in yo ear."
"Oh god, no."
"C'mere, give me you." Charlotte said before leaning to whisper in Felicity's ear.
Roy who was in the process of walking to his seat after going back for a second plate of food for his self, paused and leaned his ear to the two, his face scrunched up in confusion. "Are you-" He hesitated. "Are you making cat noises in her ear."
"It turns her on." Charlotte said casually, before turning back to Felicity. "I'm going to stare at you until you say you love me."
"I'm not going to say it."
"I'm still going to stare at you."
"Okay. And?" Felicity shrugged her shoulders.
"Alright."
"Alright."
They went silent for a moment before...
"...baby, lock dem doors and turn the lights-"
"GET OFF OF ME!" Felicity resumed her squirming in a noble attempt to get out of the tight grip Charlotte has on her, with no avail.
"I wanna be the big spoon." Charlotte continued to sing deeply in the poor hacker's ear with a grin on her face.
"Oh god, please stop. I'm having warlike flashbacks of high school. Ryan, come get your wife." Felicity's pitiful cry was ruined by the smile on her face and the slight snickers that was making it through.
"She's not my wife yet. You can have her for now." Ryan replied nonchalantly, as he and Digg stood side by side taking multiple photos and videos. Digg knew that Sara would be upset that she missed this and pissed if everyone came back with stories but no photographic evidence. Especially evidence against the infallible Felicity Smoak.
"RYAN, CONTROL YA HOE!"
"Ryan, you gonna let her talk about me like that?"
"You're a strong, independent woman. Handle your business. I believe in you, baby." Ryan's warm brown eyes crinkled as he smiled and Eric chuckled. Willa cackled loudly, overshadowing's Digg's and Roy's boisterous laughter. Oliver didn't even try to hide his enjoyment at seeing this side of Felicity as he also tried to get as many photos as possible.
For Sara, of course.
"Damn, Ryan. Just no loyalty." Felicity stated, momentarily giving up her fight.
"Trifling ass, motherfucker." Charlotte simply shook her head.
An half an hour later, after Charlotte finally released Felicity for the promise of margaritas, Felicity, Willa, Digg, and Roy sat across from one another at the island in the kitchen. Roy and Digg practically bent over from laughing at Felicity and Willa's stories of the trouble they got in when they were younger.
"How did you guys manage to fake a wedding?" Digg asked when he finally managed to catch his breath. Roy was still having problems.
Felicity took a sip of her margarita before waving her hand. "Oh it was all very simple. All it took was a fake marriage license, some amazing Photoshop, a little heavy lifting and staging, and voila. The prank of the century."
"And you guys went along with it for three weeks?" Roy asked astounded.
Willa and Felicity nodded. "We were very dedicated." Felicity answered.
"It was a lot of fun until Eric got comfortable and seemed to really enjoyed being married. Then there were a lot of questions. But it turned out that he figured it out and was playing with us." Willa added.
Digg and Roy burst into another round of laughter.
Willa grinned mischievously. "But nothing will be better that the hatred Lis held for this kid in our Physics class, Anthony Hill." Felicity rolled her eyes.
"You guys always blow that out of proportion."
"That's what we thought, initially. We really didn't comprehend how much Lis hated him until they were paired for a project and Lis set him on fire in a effort to convince our teacher to allow her to switch."
Felicity sputtered to defend herself, while Roy laughed loudly and Digg shook his head. "I DIDN'T SET HIM ON FIRE!" When Digg and Willa gave her a look saying they didn't believe her, she continued. "I didn't. I just happened to be the sole witness to an unfortunate accident that involved someone who I didn't exactly have warm feelings for. In fact I saved his life-"
Willa snorted. "Yea, to throw suspicion off of you."
Felicity rolled her eyes. "-I was the one to get the fire extinguisher and actually extinguish the fire."
Willa opened her mouth to respond but was cut off by knocking and a deep voice by the door.
"Open the door, you holes of asses." The voice was followed by Charlotte's laughter as she went to open the door and squeal once she saw who was behind it.
"See Cunt Spice, that is how you ask someone to open the door." Willa turned to smile smugly at Felicity.
"No it isn't" She rolled her eyes at Willa who was now attempting to get off her chair with her big belly. At the sight of her struggle, Digg got up and offered her a hand, which she took gratefully.
"It is around these parts. Don't test me. I'm hormonal and sober." Willa snapped back glaring at Felicity's drink before waddling to the bathroom.
"Oh and Tyler and Justin are here." Willa tossed over her shoulder once she caught sight of the new guests.
Felicity's eyes grew wide and she smiled. "They are?! BAE! BAAEE! IS THAT YOU!?" Felicity ran to the foyer, managing not to spill her drink or fall flat on her face, impressing Roy enough for him to comment. She missed it in her excitement to greet the two men at the door. "I MISSED YOU SO MUCH! Come I want to introduce you to my friends."
Felicity soon came running into the kitchen clutching the hand of an exasperated man who was holding the hand of another.
"Guys, this is Tyler. My husband. And this is his sidehoe, Justin." Felicity said, bouncing on her toes slightly. The man introduced as Tyler was as tall as Roy and just as lanky. His dark slant eyes glared playfully at Felicity and matched the dark hair on his head. The "sidehoe" Justin was slightly taller and skinnier with thick brown hair curling at his shoulders and wide blue eyes, which looked striking against his pale skin. A stark contrast to his partner, whose skin was naturally tanned with bold tattoos covering his arms.
"Your husband?" Roy asked confused.
"I really wish you would stop introducing me as husband to everyone. I'm not your husband. He's my husband. You're a psycho." Tyler snarked.
"That's not true. Why do you say such mean things to me? I've been riding and dying with you for 20+ years now. I've even allowed you to seek comfort in others, since we live so far apart, because I knew that at the end of the day you love me the most. Justin loves me the most as well. Isn't that right, bae 2.0?"
"Not really." Justin responded nonchalantly as he introduced himself to Digg and Roy. "Justin Burns-Aiko."
"Wooow, and I thought what we had was special. I'm allowing you to screw my husband every night. Just wow." Felicity's eyes widened in fake shock. Amusement sparkling in her blue eyes as she leaned back into Tyler slightly, touching her chest.
"Would you let me go!?" Tyler groaned while attempting to shake her grip on his arm.
Felicity turned him with a pout before puckering her lips. "Fine. Kiss first." She demanded.
He rolled his eyes before quickly pecking her. "There. Now go bug someone to else. I'll reintroduce myself to your friends." He pushed her lightly, but it was obvious to see the endearment in his eyes when he looked at her.
"Fine, but when you're done come to the living room. I want to introduce you to Oliver."
Tyler leaned back slightly to catch a glimpse of Oliver, who was deep in discussion with Ryan and Eric about the quality of a certain motorcycle and other things Felicity really didn't care to find out. He missed the excitement of Tyler and Justin's arrival when he went in a bedroom to take a call. Presumably to check in on Thea or Sara and Laurel like the worry wart he is. When Tyler made a noise of agreement Felicity grinned wide before grabbing Justin's hand. "I'm taking Justin. He tries to deny it but he loves me immensely."
"No I don't." He groaned pained as he trailed behind her.
Tyler snorted before turning to Digg and Roy holding out his hand to shake. "Tyler Aiko, not Felicity's husband, resident gay." He says with a grin.
Digg shook his hand with a smile. "John Diggle, Felicity's friend, King of Done."
Tyler let out a laugh before turning to Roy. "And you are?"
"Roy Harper, unwilling witness to any and all things that might happen tonight." He responded dryly as he shook Tyler's hand.
Tyler shook his head in false sympathy. "Felicity, Charlotte, and copious amounts of liquor. A lot is going to happen that you are going to wish you never saw."
Roy nodded. "Great." He responded sarcastically.
"It could be worse. If Willa was allowed to drink, somebody probably would've called the cops by now." Tyler supplied.
"And you guys are comfortable with her reproducing?"
Tyler shrugged. "We're all slightly afraid but we also like kids...so...it works out."
"Why is Felicity calling you her husband?" Digg questioned.
"When she was 6, she had a huge crush on me -" Tyler began, moving towards the drinks before the woman in question interrupted loudly from the living room.
"STILL DO! YOU JUST KEEP GETTING HOTTER AND HOTTER WITH AGE! I LOVE YOU BAE!"
"FELICITY, GO SIT DOWN! Justin whined and Eric laughed loudly, no doubt at something of Felicity's doing.
"JUSTIN! LET ME LOVE YOU!"
Tyler rolled his eyes so hard, a part of Roy was afraid the old wives' tale of them getting stuck that way was actually going to come true.
"Anyway, one day I got a ring out of my cereal box and decided to give it to her. She used to love things like that. She and Charlotte then forced one of Charlotte's cousins to officiate our fake wedding the next day, because she, and I quote "knew she loved me and was going to love me forever and didn't want to wait." Tyler paused in the middle of mixing drinks for him and presumably Justin to form quotations.
Digg smirked slightly at a small and determined Felicity Smoak aided with the help of Charlotte, who seemed to have always been a force of nature.
Tyler rolled his eyes fondly and continued. "I agreed because Charlotte taught her how to use her big blue eyes to get her way and back then it was heartbreaking to tell her no. Now I tell her no all the time. She's like a little pest. But yeah, our "marriage" has been a running joke in our circle since then." He laughed as he put the finishing touches on a sangria.
"Not to me bae. I take our marriage very seriously. I am wholly devoted to you. I loooove you. I neeeeed you. I gotta, gotta have you." Felicity crooned as she shimmed up to Tyler's side with a teasing grin on her face.
"Why are you back? Weren't you torturing Justin?" Tyler questioned as he passed Justin his drink, when the man came up behind Felicity, looking all too grateful.
"Justin wouldn't let me serenade him with the musical styling's of Michael Jackson." She whined slightly with a pout.
"Nobody wants to hear you sing PYT while you white girl dance." Tyler responded before taking a sip of his whiskey.
"You used to."
"No. You just did it."
"You missed me."
"Not particularly."
Two hours later, Oliver watched silently, glaring at the sight across the room. He shouldn't. He knows that. He had his chance. He could've fought harder for her but he didn't. And now he is facing the consequences. Watching Felicity flirt heavily with the tall blond on the other side of the room.
If this were another man, sure Oliver would have still been jealous. But then he could simply walk over there, capture her attention and bask in it for the fleeting moments that he is allowed. He won't lie about the fact that he's made it tense between them. He knows that she tends to stare at him when she thinks he isn't looking, trying to figure out where they really stood. Despite the fact that they both know he loves her. And he's sure she feels the same. There are days where he reconsiders his pact to keep her at a distance and on those days he really wants to just walk over to her and kiss her the way he has been thinking about since the day they met.
But he can't. Not now anyway.
Because she is over there with a guy she has known half her life. A guy she has (reluctantly) admitted to having a thing with. "Several things" were her actual words. And she is flirting with him. Not the kind of flirting she did with Barry. That was innocent and sweet, filled with terms and words he could barley wrap his head around. This kind of flirting is filled with certain touches and whispered words that lead to a certain type of giggle that he has never heard before. She isn't awkward around Eric like she is around him. He's sure that unlike with him, her words have been thought out in advance and paired with a look to illicit a specific reaction. He has never been on the receiving end of that. She has never been that comfortable around him. And while he enjoys her Freudian slips, he wishes he could experience this side of her as well.
A part of him wants to blame her actions on the many drinks she's had. Which were many. Willa had decided that someone had to drink enough to make up for all the drinking she was missing out on and decided that Felicity was the poor sucker to have the honor. The only mercy was that Charlotte seemed to take on the task as well, no doubt lessening the amount of drinks Willa probably would've poured down Felicity's throat.
But he knows that's not it.
And it makes him burn.
"Damn. You've got it bad." Oliver turns around to the voice to see Charlotte leaning against the island in the middle of the kitchen. Seemingly comfortable and more sober than she was an hour earlier when she decided to take six shots and try to strip tease for Ryan in an attempt to get him to tell her whether or not strippers will be present at his bachelor party. Ryan was able to stop her in time before she lost her shirt but after she made him promised to take her so that she can also get a lap dance if there were going to be strippers. At that moment Felicity decided that her lack of lap dances received were a problem and demanded to attend as well.
Oliver wanted to cry. For what reason, he hasn't figured it out yet.
Felicity and Charlotte then decided that a few more shots were needed to celebrate the upcoming loss of their lap dance virginities.
At that moment Roy turned to him and expressed his fear that they were going to need their stomachs pumped before the night was done.
"What?"
"I mean if you glare any harder, their flesh might melt off." Charlotte shrugged and picked up the water bottle she had taken out of the fridge and placed a bright pink straw in it. "The downside is that then you won't get to ride Lis' saddle like trained equestrian, like you really want to." Charlotte said before taking a long, leisurely sip of her water while maintaining eye contact. "The upside is you won't have to worry about them possibly hooking up tonight."
"I don't know what you're talking about." If asked about this later, Oliver will swear to all the heavens above that he really did try to come up with a better lie.
Nobody will believe him.
"Really?" Charlotte snorted and raised an eyebrow. "Even that was pathetic. If you're going to be making moves on the precious fruit of my garden, I'm going to need you to work a little harder on your lies. She has a temper and if you get caught breaking her computers, or anything tech like, you are really going to have to do better to convince her that the pretty, skinny one did it."
She gestured over to Roy, who looked like he was caught in an uncomfortable conversation with Willa, judging by the green tint to his face. Ryan and Digg, who were standing nearby, no doubt listening in to what Willa was saying, were struggling to hold back their laughter.
Oliver made a mental note to ask Diggle what was happening later.
He rolled his eyes and turned back to Charlotte. "The precious fruit of your garden?"
"Just because I didn't give birth to her does not mean I had no hand in what she is now. That is 20 years worth of hard work and corruption. She was so wide-eyed and innocent when we met. And now look at her," She pointed across the room, to the very sight that started this conversation. Oliver felt his jaw tick. "She is currently giving him her all and even though he has known her since the dreadful time before boobs and has watched her learn all those moves, he is still eating it up." She shrugged her shoulders lightly. "Partly because Eric is an attention whore and loves attention wherever he can get it. And partly because I have taught her so well."
"Is this the part where I praise you for all your hard work?" Oliver replied deadpan.
Charlotte slowly slid her eyes towards him and glared.
"No, but one day you will be sending me flowers and chocolate as a thank you." She snapped back.
"Oh really?"
"Yes. And you can do it as soon as you get your head out of your ass. Felicity isn't one of those girls who will sit down and pout wondering when her lover will finally come for her. She will stand by your side and fight with you, but she will not fight you for you. She has a life to live. One that is filled with hopes and ambitions." Charlotte gestured wildly with her hands. She kept her green gaze on him, ensuring that he got her point. "She does not have the time to cater to you. She may believe in your cause but she won't sacrifice what she doesn't have to for it. One day you will wake up and she will be gone. And all you will have is a cold cave filled with regrets and green arrows. Then what?" Charlotte's right hand landed on her hip, her left side still leaning on the island.
Oliver was silent for a beat before he answered. "She told you."
Charlotte rolled her eyes. "Not really, but she didn't have to. I inferred from what I could see from afar." She sighed. "I taught her how to lie. I don't know everything. I don't want to. As long as she is fine, I don't need to. And honestly the people in Starling City must be fucking idiotic if they can't see what's in front of them. It must be your defining trait." Charlotte snapped with a tilt of her head.
Oliver tensed, but before he could say anything, Charlotte continued.
"Look all I have to say is this. In the words of Olivia Pope, the disciple of our Lord and Savior, Beyoncé, she is not a fantasy; if you want her, earn her. Or let her go. Okay?"
Oliver took a deep breath and nodded. "Okay."
Charlotte tapped the island lightly and smiled. "Great. Now I can tell you that Eric and Felicity have been faking their flirting the entire night." She said as she picked up her drink and turned completely towards the room, pointing to Eric and Felicity.
Oliver frowned and turned to look at them.
"Looks pretty convincing."
Charlotte snorted. "Of course it does. They've been doing it for years." She walked up to him and patted his shoulder. "Don't get me wrong, for a while it was real and they do love each other, but they were never in love. For them it was fun and when it ended it was okay. Plus Eric has been honestly chasing this brunette for a while now and I don't think he wants to mess that up and Felicity won't let him." Charlotte grinned.
Oliver glanced at her from the corner of his eye before looking back to see Eric and Felicity laugh together. His glare was a little less intense now that he knew that there was no real heat behind their actions.
"Now remember. I hate roses, can stand lilies but would prefer it if you would go out of your way to impress me. I love hazelnut chocolate and funny cards. So get creative with that thank you." She smirked at him, before her green eyes widened a little. "Oh, and don't tell her I used the horse analogy. She'll rant to me about it for the next three years like the last time I used it. Personally, I like to use it because it reminds me of the time I walk in on her singing and dancing to Pony by Ginuwine," Charlotte snickered as she left his side. "but to each their own."
The night was winding down and everybody found them selves sitting in the living room. Felicity managed to sprawl herself over Justin and Tyler. Tyler was currently playing with her hair as he talked to Justin, who was casually tapping her calves to the beat of the music playing low in the background.
"Tyler" Felicity drunkenly looked up at him, demanding his attention mid-sentence.
"Yes, love?" He answered, unfazed by the sudden intrusion.
"You're so pretty. Like really pretty. But, like, in a manly way. I think. No you're just pretty. Like Roy!" Felicity exclaimed and turned her head to look at Roy.
Roy shook his head. "Don't include me in this." One can tell he was still a little traumatized from whatever he and Willa were discussing earlier. Oliver really needed to ask Digg what the hell Willa did to him.
Felicity pouted and turned back to Tyler. "Am I pretty? I think I'm pretty. I think I am the bomb diggity snick. Do you think so? Be a pal. Tell me honestly, my home skillet biscuit. Am I da bomb diggity?"
The entire room snickered. Tyler smiled indulgently and spoke softly as if talking to a small child. "Yes, you are. You are the prettiest little flower."
Felicity shook her head and whined. "I don't wanna be a flower. Flowers get old and die. I wanna be as pretty as a diamond. And not the regular boring, clear diamonds. But like rare gemstones. Like quartz or rubies. Something the Queen of Sheba would wear on her head to inspire envy into other bitches' hearts. Am I that pretty?"
"No, you are not pretty," Tyler started, prompting a frown from Felicity. "You are stunning." She gaped, wide eyed at Tyler as he nodded his head, "Yep. You are. Not only are you stunning, but you are exquisite." Tyler lifted his hands off of her head for a moment to emphasize his point.
Felicity smiled brightly. "Really!? I'm so glad because I want to ask you a serious question. Listen closely because it's serious. Are you listening?"
"I'm listening."
"Will you be my baby daddy? Because if you're very pretty and I'm Queen of Sheba's gemstones, make other bitches jealous pretty, then our babies..." Felicity looked up and waved her hands. "…pffbt...insanely pretty. And hella smart. Because I'm so smart then of course they'll be hella smart too. And then they can rule the world." She ended with a grin.
"Rule the world. Not conquer it?" Tyler raised an eyebrow. His smile never leaving his face.
Felicity shook her head fervently. It was a wonder how she didn't get sick. "Nooooo, that's me and Char Char's plan. We are going to conquer the world and erection our enemies."
"You mean eradicate. Right?" Justin piped in with raised eyebrows.
"Yes. That's what I said silly. Exasperate." Felicity waved him off. "I love that word. But back to the babies. So will you be my baby daddy? Justin can be my baby daddy too. You both can be a daddy to one. In fact I am not asking. You have to be my baby daddy. You both owe me at least one baby. I need two highly intelligent, super pretty babies. And you're going to give them to me."
Justin grinned and lightly squeezed her right calf. "We would be honored to be your babies daddies."
Felicity gasped and her eyes widened. "Really. Okay. Let's start now." She attempted to get up grabbing Tyler by his shirt. "Tyler first. Help me up."
That wasn't so effective. It only served to pull Tyler down with her as she slowly rolled off of his lap, Justin keeping a firm hold on her legs.
"Okay. No. This is wrong, I'm going down. Tyler, help me. We need to do the sex so we can make a baby. You were in health. Come on."
Charlotte decided now was the time to intervene, before Felicity busted her head open on the coffee table and Oliver lost his mind. "Felicity, don't have sex. You will get pregnant and die. Remember."
That got her to stop. Felicity snapped back up, her eyes wide. "Ohmgee. You're right. Willa's gonna die." She lied back down on to Tyler and looked up towards Willa. "But, I love you, Willa. Hold my hand and feel my love. Don't leave me. Ever."
"It's okay pumpkin, I'm here." Willa remarked, taking Felicity's outstretched hand and squeezing it lightly.
Felicity sighed in relief. "Thank you."
"Come on lush, let's get some water. It'll help with that bitch of a hangover we're both going to have tomorrow." Tyler commented, picking Felicity up from under her arms as Justin set her feet on the floor.
Oliver jumped up from his seat and reached for her. "I got her."
He purposely ignored Digg's snort and Roy's knowing smirk.
Tyler looked at him skeptically and raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure? Because this happens all the time." Tyler shrugged.
"Kinda isn't a party until Felicity Smoak lies down on one of our laps and asks us to make a baby with her." Justin continued with a smile.
Oliver grinned and took Felicity's hands. She smiled up at him as she stood on shaky legs. "I'm sure."
One month later, Charlotte received a large bouquet of orchids and a card that played Pony by Ginuwine every time she opened it, simply signed, OQ.
She laughed for days.
Thank you to everyone to read, reviewed, favorited, and followed. I'm so glad you enjoyed the last chapter and I hope you enjoy this one as well.
Next chapter will be Charlotte and Ryan's wedding and Sara will be there. As well as Mama Smoak, who I loved so dearly. So that going to be a lot of fun. I haven't decided if I'm going to write out the actual wedding or just the reception. All I have written now is the reception.
Oh well, we'll see.