Kisame swore under his breath and rose from Sasori's mattress, a feat made all the more difficult due to the ship's now constant shaking. "You two stay here. If anything's wrong, I'll come back and get you. And Sasori?"

"Yes?"

"We'll talk about Deidara later."

"Right sir."

Deidara watched in complete silence as a rather tense Kisame exited the room, leaving behind an equally apprehensive Sasori. "Danna?" The redhead's attention fell on the blond and immediately noticed the worried look in Deidara's eyes.

Sasori wanted desperately to smile and tell the Falk it was going to be ok, but he knew better than to lie to Deidara. Their future was up in the air at the moment, and the soldier wasn't about to make any promises that couldn't be kept.

A particularly violent jerk sent the duo crashing against the side wall of the room, and another shake flung them into the opposite metal barrier. "Danna, what's happening?"

"As soon as I find out, you'll be the first to know," Sasori promised the blonde. Suddenly, the lights flickered out in the room, plunging the battered and bruised duo into complete darkness.

"…"

"…Danna?"

"Yes?"

"I think we're under attack, un."

"No kidding."

"No, I'm dead serious!"

"…Deidara, remind me to explain to you what an expression is later."

"Un?"

Before the conversation could go on, Kisame tore open the door to Sasori and Deidara's room, managing to illuminate the whole chamber with an Army-grade flashlight. "The ship's being abandoned," he curtly informed the two. "Grab whatever you can't live without and head towards the nearest escape pod."

"Why is this ship always getting attacked?" Sasori grumbled as he helped Deidara to his feet.

"Turns out we had a turncoat working the radio," Kisame replied in a gruff tone. "I can only image what the Falks were paying him for his help."

"What's going to happen to him, un?" Deidara couldn't help but ask.

At that, Kisame let out a chuckle and shook his head. "Unfortunately for the guy, Hidan got to him before I could stop him. Crazy zealot…long story short, we're filing him as killed in action." His message given, the shark finally departed from their room, but not before reminding them to hurry up. "And disguise Deidara!"

Now Sasori was a puppet maker, not a supplier of clothing or costumes. As such, he really didn't have many spare clothes with which to outfit Deidara. However, if the others saw Deidara and discovered he was a Falk, that would be the end of the blond, and probably Sasori as well. Something had to be done.

That something turned out to be rifling through Sasori's bag for disguise material even as the emergency alarms went off and a monotone computer voice ordered the soldiers to evacuate to the nearest escape pod. Deidara and Sasori were eventually able to find a pair of sunglasses and an army helmet to hide the blond's eyes and ears. "Now just keep quiet and go along with whatever I tell you. Understand, Deidara?"

"Yes Sasori danna." Seeing that the blonde was ready to go, Sasori grabbed his bag and waited for Deidara to snatch up his book, before the duo took off down the hall, their way illuminated by Sasori's own flashlight.

The Akasuna was more than a bit relieved to see that there were still dozens of men and women evacuating the ship when he and Deidara abandoned their chambers. It meant that there were probably still a number of escape vessels left onboard, so he and the Falk weren't completely doomed.

The puppeteer's suspicions proved to be true; it didn't take long for Deidara to locate a pod that still had enough room for the two of them. Specifically Sasori, if you wanted the truth. "Hey fire-crotch!" Hidan yelled from inside the vessel. He appeared to be keeping other soldiers at bay, either with his words or fists. "About time you got here! Tobi was starting to think you'd never show up, damnit!"

The masked human poked his head out the doorway upon hearing his name, and gave a cry of delight when he saw the redhead. "Sasori, you're here! Wait, who's the blond with Sasori?"

"I believe you're referring to Deidara," Kisame stated from behind Tobi. So, he was here too? "Deidara's a new recruit, so to speak."

"Enough with the introductions, get in here already!" Before Sasori even had the chance to protest, Hidan had yanked both Deidara and himself into the escape pod and slammed the door shut behind them, making certain to quickly lock the vessel's only exit tightly.

As Sasori expected, the pod was rather small and cramped. It had been outfitted with somewhat weak orange and yellow lights above their head, as well as seats arranged in a circle and designed with full-body harnesses to keep the occupants secured during their trip through space. Aside from Kisame, Tobi, and Hidan, the pod only contained a handful of soldiers, none of which Sasori recognized. Not surprising, really; these things were only built to hold about ten persons at a time, twelve if it was really needed. "General, where are we going?" Sasori inquired.

The blue-skinned man was seated by the pod's control panel and rapidly entering coordinates by hand. "Into space. I've located another ship for backup, but it'll be a few hours before they get here. Our best chance is to evacuate now and try to dodge our attackers for as long as we can-" The rest of the general's words were cut off by the ship giving a violent shake, followed by the distinctive screech of metal being torn apart.

"What the hell was that?" Hidan screamed into the radio.

While waiting for a reply, Sasori briefly wondered who in their right mind had put the foul-mouthed male in charge of radio communications, but dismissed the thought when devastating news came in. "The hull's been breached!" a voice screamed from the other end of the communicator. "We've got about three minutes before this whole place is blown sky high!"

"Jashin dammit," Hidan swore. Returning his attention to the soldiers surrounding him, he looked to Kisame. "Are we ever gonna move?"

"The longer we stay here, the less fuel we'll use, and the better our chances of escape," Kisame reasoned.

"There's not gonna be anything left to save in 60 seconds, dumba-sir," Hidan corrected, after deciding he didn't want to be court marshaled for swearing at his commanding officer.

"Deidara?" Tobi asked.

"Y-yes?"

"Why does Deidara have sunglasses on?"

"I recently had laser eye surgery, un," Deidara flawlessly lied.

"Why the hat?"

"Um…I want to keep my brain safe?"

"Bullshit," Hidan stated. "What are you really hiding under there, blondie?"

"Danna," Deidara whimpered, all but begging for salvation from his current predicament.

Surprisingly, it was not Sasori but Kisame that provided Deidara with an escape route. "We're ready to go," the general announced.

"Fucking finally."

"Listen, we don't have any weapons on this thing," Kisame warned. "The only way we're going to get out of this alive is through careful dodging and constant maneuvering. No bitching or rowdiness while I'm driving; clear?"

"Tch, chill mom," Hidan shot back. "We've got a lucky charm here, remember?" With a smirk, the zealot reached over and ruffled Tobi's hair, causing the boy to cry out and attempt to bat away the offending hand.

Without waiting for a better answer, Kisame hit the throttle, making them shoot out of the emergency escape tunnel and into the void of space.

Immediately the pilot gunned the engine, trying to get as far away from the doomed ship as possible before it blew. Sasori couldn't help but peer out through one of the ship's circular windows and take a last look at the vessel he'd called home for such a short while.

The Akatsuki had been virtually torn to pieces by the Falks' attack. Large chunks of the ship were floating in space, and here and there Sasori could see the scattered remains of furnishings from within the vessel. Floating around the warship like vultures over a fresh carcass were the enemy's battle cruisers, which even now were blasting away at the dying ship. It was enough to make the Akasuna sick.

And then the Akatsuki exploded, hurling all the nearby escape pods (including the one Deidara and Sasori occupied) through the void of space at an extremely rapid pace, which did in fact made the puppet master, Falk, and Tobi lose their lunch on the floor.

"Eww," Hidan complained before tucking his legs up to his chest.

"Shut it Hidan," Kisame ordered. "We've got company."

Falks were not the kind of warriors that would stop for a moment and cheer at the destruction of an enemy war vessel. If any cheering was to be done, it would only occur after they'd destroyed any and all humans in the surrounding area. Already they were on the move, eager to chase down and eradicate any Army persons they could locate.

If Sasori hadn't already thrown up, he would have puked from all the evasive maneuvers Kisame utilized in his attempt to keep the lowly escape pod from being blown to kingdom come. All around them human vessels were exploding in short, deadly bursts, and on more than one occasion the general had to avoid flying wreckage from an escape pod as well as an enemy laser blast.

It soon became apparent that the group wasn't going to last longer than a few minutes, never mind the hours it would take for backup to arrive. "Wish I'd stolen a ship, damnit," Hidan complained from his seat. "At least then I could go down fighting instead of running like a Jashin-damned coward."

"Doubt it would have made much difference," Kisame growled from his post. "Now make yourself useful and see if there's anyone left on the line."

"Tch, don't have to be so bitchy about it," Hidan grumbled before returning to the duty he'd been neglecting for almost the entire flight. "Static…static…hey-! Wait, no, that's just static."

"I thought you were supposed to be a good luck charm," Sasori growled at Tobi.

"Don't blame Tobi for this!" the innocent male cried out. "Besides, Sasori should know that everyone's luck runs out at some point."

"Well yours picked a Jashin-damned wonderful time to-hey, I've got someone!"

All attention (save for Kisame's) immediately fell to the Jashinist. "Who is it, un?"

"Dunno. They're yelling in gibberish…vive la résistance? What kind of-"

"It's French, un," Deidara interrupted.

"Well that's fucking great. Anyone here speak French?"

Rather than wasting time answering Hidan, Deidara chose instead to rip away the communicator from Hidan and speak into it. "Je ne parle pas français."

There was a moment of silence on the line; on one end, the strangers may have been looking for a translator, while the humans were in shock from hearing the foreign sentence pass the blond's lips. And then, a voice with a heavy French accent spoke. "We are ze resistance! Come wiz us if you want to live!"

"Where, un?"

"Look up!" The command was obeyed just in time to see an old, battered looking tanker descend upon them. The ship was huge; nearly as big as the Akatsuki had been, only with fewer weapons and a thicker exterior. More importantly though was the fact that the top and bottom doors on the front of the hull were opened wide like a great mouth, and the tanker appeared to be aiming right at the escape craft. Kisame barely had time to slow the pod down enough to avoid crashing into the unidentified spaceship's doorframe as it reached them and 'swallowed' the escapees whole. Immediately the doors slammed shut, plunging the group into a world of black.

It appeared that the fleeing soldiers were now safe from the attacking Falks. And as they sat there in the dark, still floating in their ship while the now-muffled sounds of battle continued from outside the tanker, Tobi couldn't help but laugh. "Looks like Tobi's luck hasn't run out yet."