Cricket is an ancient and noble game, so ancient and noble and beloved that it would be completely and absolutely unnecessary to go over any of the rules whatsoever, as everyone in the whole entire world knows everything there is to know about cricket.
Even Ciel knew a thing or two about cricket, which really should give one an indication as to the great and gloriousness of the sport. Ciel was the direct opposite of "athletic" and had essentially negative interest in anything that involved running around and getting all sweaty. But it was he who had to teach Sebastian about the sport—before he came to the school, the butler had thought that "cricket" was just a little jumping, chirping insect that made both young Masters and callous wives scream in high C.
The first two teams playing were Red House—consisting entirely of the pretty boys of the school—and Blue House—Ciel's team. He sat on the sidelines and quietly watched his house fail miserably for two hours, and then there was a tea break. He actually did more during that so-called "break" than during the actual play, as he had to convince his team members to not give up. Quite a lot of them were getting discouraged, but Ciel knew that the fight hadn't even started. Red House wasn't a threat—not after his servants were done with them.
Sebastian—that is, Professor Michaelis—had vanished several minutes before the tea break and Eleanora had disappeared from her spot in the stands. But Ciel wasn't worried: he knew exactly where they were.
At the moment, Sebastian was just finishing making a pie and Eleanora was just finishing watching him making the pie with worry, playing with the buttons on her big coat.
"Are you sure about putting it all in?" she asked as he moved by her. "I got the most powerful laxative in the drug store—that stuff could kill you."
"Don't worry," he assured her. "Little boys are very resilient, particularly in the lower areas. I'm sure that they'll all be just fine."
He snuck outside, quickly swapped the meat pies on the Red House table, and went back to Eleanora so that she could help him change back into his professor outfit. Not that he really needed assistance, of course; she just liked turning him into a professor and he liked whatever she liked, particularly when it involved a bit of kissing.
He arrived back on the field just in time to see all of the members of the Red House cricket team falling down to the ground, clutching their stomachs in pain.
The first team had forfeited. Blue House had won.
The second match was between Green House and Purple House—between the jocks and the school weirdos, essentially. Naturally the jocks won, and after another quick break, it was time for the final fight between Green House and Blue House. This was the big one—this was the one that Ciel had spent all those weeks preparing for.
He had several lines of defense to ensure a victory. Sebastian was Stage One. He quickly looked over at his butler, who was already warming up the school orchestra.
The idea was as follows: one could theoretically hit the ball if one swung the bat—hypothetically, any swing could hit any ball, as long as the ball was within certain limits. All the batter had to do was swing, and there was a good chance that the bat would hit the ball.
Hence the orchestra. Ciel knew that his nonathletic teammates would panic about hitting the ball at the right time, so he decided to skip all the stress and tell them to just hit the ball on a certain musical signal: the crashing of the cymbals.
It worked very well for quite some time, and then Ciel spotted the principal—the source of their information; the one that could solve the Queen's mystery for them.
He looked pointedly over at Sebastian, who nodded and fled the orchestra to give pursuit. As expected, the Blue House team immediately started failing without their musical cue.
But winning a game wasn't just about making your team win: it was also about making the other team lose. And that's where Stage Two: Eleanora came in.
As soon as she saw the butler run off in pursuit of the principal, she sauntered over to the orchestra and gave the boys her best smile, fanning herself a bit with her hand.
"Excuuuse me," she purred, "but it's so hot out here and I'm feeling a little faint…Would you kindly allow me to sit here, in the shade?"
The musicians had no objections, so Eleanora got one of their chairs and sat a bit aways from them, waiting for the song they were currently playing to end.
Sebastian had quickly forced responsibility on another student, who was now panicking a bit as the orchestra finished their song. But luckily, Mr. Michaelis had left another piece of music out for them to play. The student made sure that all of the instruments were on the same page, and then he started them up.
This song was…different from the other songs. It was…louder. Gaudier, somehow. The musicians were so focused on the oddness of the song that they didn't even notice that Eleanora had taken off her coat, revealing a much more revealing outfit, and had started to dance.
In her youth, she had been occasionally forced to resort to dancing at the seediest of taverns. Burlesque had paid the bills, and she still knew a couple of the dances. This one involved a chair and a damned lot of legs, both of which she luckily had.
Most of the people on the Blue House team did not have very good eyesight, and so they were unaffected by her dance. Unfortunately for the Green House, they were not.
Sebastian had to force himself not to look. Eleanora had demonstrated her dancing skills to them beforehand, and he had almost died. The young Master had been unaffected—probably because he was too young, and so didn't understand the limitless appeal of chest, legs, and suggestive hip-moving.
Stage Two was just a temporary defense. A young woman winking and blowing kisses at a bunch of student cricketers didn't go unnoticed for very long. Soon Eleanora was being told to leave the field, which she did regretfully, with one last kiss to the last batter, who missed the ball completely from shock and embarrassment.
Stage One had been about swinging the bat, thus hitting the ball. Stage Three was about not swinging the bat, therefore hitting the ball. This was accomplished by strategically placing the bat on the ground in front of the wickets. In this way, they were able to secure a couple more points—or at least not allowing the other team to get more points—until Sebastian returned, looking very disappointed.
The principal had disappeared right under his fingers. He had no idea where he was or what he was doing, but for now, all he could do was go back to the game. He wasn't very happy with himself, but Eleanora was still wearing her little costume, and a couple of kisses quickly revived his previous good mood.
People were starting to get bored with the whole bat-in-front-of-the-wickets gimmick. Ciel was getting tired as well—he wanted it all to be done with, already. And so they went on to Stage Four.
Stage Four, like the other Stages, was genius in its simplicity. All he had to do was make all of his teammates stand around the batter, and then throw the ball in that extra-special way which he had spent thousands of agonizing hours practicing, aiming the ball for the batter's face. The batter would defend himself with the bat, and the other teammates would catch it, resulting in an out.
And this went on for some time until the audience grew restless and started questioning the fairness of his tactics. The show must go on, and it was high time to finish this sporting nonsense. So then the Blue House prefect stepped up: Stage Five of the plan.
The prefect, like Ciel, had spent countless hours practicing throwing the ball a certain way. Only, unlike Ciel's ball, which aimed for the batter's face, the prefect's ball aimed for the wickets. They were able to get one more out in this way, but Green House was still ahead…
One more ball. One more ball to throw, to decide everything, to decide either victory or defeat for the Blue House…The prefect prepared himself, threw the ball with all of his might, the batter prepared to swing; everyone was holding their breaths…
And the batter swung straight into Ciel Phantomhive's head.
He was nothing but a perfect gentleman; as soon as he realized that he had accidentally hurt someone, he immediately whirled around, asking if he was okay, but Ciel ignored him completely. He grabbed the ball, which had conveniently landed near him, and threw it at the wickets.
They crashed to the ground. Blue House had won.
The crowd went wild; the Blue House ran out to meet Ciel and cheer and scream and Eleanora was on the sidelines, politely clapping, while Sebastian ran out to attend to his injured Master. They passed by the maid on the way to the infirmary, where all three of them shared a secret smile. Stage Six: give the prefect a lighter ball, thus slightly changing the angle of everything, and ensuring a Blue House victory.
Just as planned.