Derek looked around the trailer's kitchen and smiled. The kitchen was sparkling clean. He didn't think it had been this clean since he had first purchased the Airstream trailer and it was brand new. He decided to give himself a bit of a break before he tackled the bathroom, so he wandered over to the cliff and stared at the view. He was really looking forward to tomorrow, his first trip to the trailer with Chrissy. It was going to be a surprise for her, after his mother left for the airport and her graduation trip. He thought it would be great for Chrissy to have a chance to leave her home and go on an adventure.
His mom had offered to clean the trailer, but she had done more than enough cleaning in this stay in Seattle. Keeping the frat house clean was a challenge for anyone, and his mom was doing an incredible job. He thought that she was entitled to get a day alone having fun with Chrissy. And his mom's eyes had lit up yesterday when he had told her the plan even though she had continued to insist that she'd be happy to clean the trailer. Finally, he told her that he was a surgeon, and he knew the importance of cleanliness, and he was quite capable of cleaning the trailer.
He thought back to yesterday:
His mom had gone out and returned an hour later with two bags full of games and books. Chrissy was napping, so he took the bags from her and went through them, curious to see what she had brought. He had spotted two of his childhood favorites, Chutes and Ladders and Scrabble for Juniors. "Mom, do you really think that Chrissy is old enough for Scrabble?"
"She knows her alphabet, Derek, so it will be fun for her. I loved playing Scrabble with you."
"I see you also got the grown up version."
"I still love playing Scrabble with you. Maybe we can play one day while Chrissy is napping. I'm really enjoying the opportunity to spend time with you. I haven't spent this much time with you since your last summer at home. I think that was just before you started medical school."
"I think you're right. I try to take at least two weeks vacation every year, but it is different just hanging out with Chrissy."
"Derek, last year for your so-called vacation you volunteered for Partners in Health and went to Haiti to perform surgery."
"That was an amazing experience, Mom."
"But hardly a vacation. I'm sure you worked longer hours there than you usually do in New York."
"That's true, but it was a very different environment. And I saved so many lives."
"Not a vacation. And this isn't really a vacation either." His mom looked at him.
"Mom, right now, everything is good. Chrissy is doing well, and we're having lots of fun. I'm going to clean the trailer, and then we'll be able to spend time there. I'm playing games and watching movies with my daughter. It's fabulous. I always wanted to be a dad, but it's so much better than I ever dreamed."
"You did miss the newborn stage when they wake up ever 2-3 hours for food. Not to mention all the diapers that need to be changed."
"That would have been wonderful, too. I wish I had been there for that." Derek frowned.
"You're here now, and now is what counts. I know you're in a happy bubble now, but you know Chrissy is sick."
"Mom, she's in remission right now. She is not sick. She has very little in the way of an immunity system, but other than that she's fine."
"Derek, don't kid yourself. She's on strong chemo medication to prevent the cancer from coming back, and she's going to have a bone marrow transplant soon."
"Mom, I need to live in the moment right now, and enjoy every second I have with Chrissy. I know the risks with the bone marrow transplant, and there's not an hour that goes by that I don't look at her and think that this could be it – this month or so could be all the time we have together on earth." Derek's eyes filled with tears.
"There'll be eternity together, Derek. I'm going to see your father again." His mom came over and gave him a hug. He hugged her back.
"Not for a long time, Mom. We need you here on earth. You've been indispensable."
"Thanks. Don't worry. I'm planning on being here for you. And I'm sure Chrissy is going to be fine. You'll have many years here with her."
"From your mouth to God's ears, Mom."
"She will be fine." His mom gave him another hug. "Now, I also bought a bunch of cleansers and other cleaning equipment for you to clean that trailer. You should move the stuff to your car so you're ready for tomorrow."
"Thanks, Mom." Derek got up. It was just like Carolyn Shepherd to give some great hugs and then send you on your way to work. She wasn't one for sitting around talking about feelings for hours on end; she was always very practical.
Derek turned back to the trailer and started cleaning the bathroom. He smiled when he saw Meredith's trademark lavender conditioner. He was so glad that she had used his trailer in his absence. It was hard to believe he had just fled the state and left the trailer and land behind for about four years. He loved this land, but it was tied up so closely with his memories of Meredith that he had banished it from his mind. Strangely enough, he had actually spent more time living in the trailer with Addison than Meredith.
He went through the bathroom cabinet, and he saw some beauty products that probably belonged to Addison. He put the ones that were almost finished in the garbage, and he put the rest in a bag; he planned to check with Meredith to see if she wanted any of them, and, if not, he would donate them to a homeless shelter.
He then cleaned the rest of the trailer. In the process, he found a single high-heeled shoe that had been chewed by Doc. He took a photo and sent it to Addison, with the single comment "Found!" She soon replied, "Time to toss!" And he did as he was told. By 3 p.m., he was finished cleaning. He decided to go shopping to stock up on food, realizing that he wouldn't be able to bring Chrissy shopping with him.
The next day, after a SuperShuttle came to pick his mom up for the airport, he headed out with Chrissy, their first trip together. He told her, "We're going to the trailer today."
"Wow!"
"And we're going to have a picnic for lunch and a barbecue for dinner."
"Is mommy coming?"
"I'll send her a text and invite her, if you want."
"Yes, she should come. We've never had a barbecue."
"I'll invite your mom. I'm sure you'll enjoy the barbecue. Do you like steak?"
"Yes."
"Great. And we're going to take the ferry to the trailer."
"I love ferries."
"So do I."
Derek enjoyed the ferry ride. The 11:00 a.m. ferry was mostly empty, so he felt comfortable emerging from the car with Chrissy and standing on the top deck. Just the two of them were there, and Chrissy was thrilled. "Daddy, this is so much fun. Thank you."
"It's fun for me, too."
As soon as they arrived at the trailer, Derek took out a blanket and set out lunch. They both enjoyed his peanut butter sandwiches. For dessert, Derek took out some chocolate chip cookies his mom had made.
"Did you invite Mommy for dinner?"
"I'll do it now." Derek texted Meredith: Chrissy wants you to join us for dinner at the trailer. Please come.
He immediately got a response: Sure. What should I bring?
He responded: I have everything. Just bring yourself.
After they finished lunch, Derek read to Chrissy and had her take a nap. When she woke up, he took her on a short nature walk. Chrissy enjoyed looking at birds with binoculars.
When they returned to the trailer, Derek took out Candyland and played quietly with Chrissy. Shortly after 6 p.m., Meredith arrived. "Wow, this place is clean!" she exclaimed.
"Daddy is good at cleaning."
"Yes, he is. Much better than me."
"Are you both ready for the best barbecue ever?" asked Derek.
"Yes," Meredith and Chrissy shouted together.
"Okay. I'm grilling steak and corn." Derek started the charcoal grill, and he waited until the coals were warm. He put on the steak first and later the corn. Both Chrissy and Meredith watched him as he cooked.
"I love barbecue restaurants," observed Meredith, "but this is the first time anyone I know has barbecued a steak for me."
"I grilled trout for you."
"Not the same as steak. I love steak."
"And just wait until dessert. We're going to make s'mores."
"S'mores, Derek?"
"Yes, we always had s'mores after a barbecue. Have you ever had s'mores?" He asked. He knew that Meredith had never experienced many normal childhood activities.
"No, I've never had s'mores. And I thought you were a health nut."
"Not after a barbecue. I'll show you both how to make s'mores in a little bit."
After they had eaten their steak, Derek began explaining about s'mores. "You take two graham crackers, and you place chocolate on top of one cracker and then you cook your marshmallows over the barbecue and then add them on top of the chocolate, and then top with the second graham cracker. Let's each put chocolate on top of a graham cracker, and then we can cook the marshmallows." Derek gave Meredith and Chrissy each a skewer with a marshmallow on it, and showed them how to cook the marshmallow over the fire.
"This is fun, Daddy."
"Yes, it is." He watched them cook the marshmallow. He took his smartphone out and took a few photos of them cooking marshmallows. When the marshmallows had turned light brown, he spoke, "Now don't burn the marshmallow; it's cooked enough." He showed them how to assemble the s'mores. "Now time to taste."
Chrissy smiled after her first bite. "This is yummy"
"I agree," said Meredith. "Can we have seconds?"
"Sure." They sat by the grill and cooked more s'mores.
"If Daddy lived in New York, how did you meet?" asked Chrissy.
"Actually, Daddy worked here for a while, and that's when I met him."
"Why did Daddy go back to New York?"
Derek was stumped. He really didn't want to have to explain about Addison and his marriage to Chrissy.
"Daddy had a job in New York, and he didn't know I was pregnant with you when he left," explained Meredith.
"Did you tell him?"
"No, sweetie, I told you I didn't. I didn't want to share you with Daddy."
"That was mean, Mommy."
"You're right, sweetie."
"I love Daddy."
"I love you, too," said Derek.
"Sometimes mommies and daddies make mistakes. I should have told Daddy about you, sweetheart, and I'm sorry to both of you."
"We need to forgive mommy," said Derek. "We are here together, and that's great. There's no point wasting time being mad at Mommy."
"Okay, Daddy, but I want you to stay in Seattle."
"I do, too," said Derek.
"Will Uncle Richard give Daddy a job here?" asked Chrissy.
"I'm sure he will. But right now Daddy has a special leave to stay home and take care of you. Don't worry about daddy working."
"Okay."
"Now it's time to clean up," announced Derek, as he started cleaning up. "You should put the dishes in the kitchen."
"Okay, Daddy. Can we sleep here tonight, Daddy? I have pajamas here," asked Chrissy.
Derek smiled, "Sure sweetheart. It will be fun to sleep in the trailer. I thought you might want to stay, so I brought your medicine and some stuff for breakfast."
"Mommy, will you sleep here, too?"
Meredith looked at Chrissy's puppy dog face. "There's no room for me, sweetheart."
"The bed is big, Mommy. Alex and Izzie sleep in the same bed, and I'm really small." Chrissy smiled. "It will be fun to have a sleepover here."
"I'm sure that you'll have fun with Daddy, but I think I should go home."
"No, Mommy stay over. It will be so much fun. We haven't slept in the trailer since I got sick. You love the trailer."
Meredith laughed. "You're right. I love trailer. We've had a lot of fun here, but it was just the two of us in bed. I don't think there's room for three."
Derek smiled as Chrissy begged her mom, "Please, Mommy."
"Meredith, I'll sleep on the floor, and you and Chrissy can have the bed," Derek offered. "I can't bring myself to say no to this sweet girl."
"You're going to have to learn to say no or we will have one very spoiled young lady."
"I'll work on that after New Year's."
Meredith met Derek's eyes. She knew that he meant he would worry about that after Chrissy had survived the bone marrow transplant. And Meredith also didn't have the heart to say no to her daughter. There was a good chance she wouldn't survive the transplant. And they had always had a good time sleeping in trailer.
"Please, Mommy."
"Okay, Chrissy," Meredith relented. "And if we can all fit in the bed, Daddy won't have to sleep on the floor. Chrissy, it's time for you to go to bed, so you should change into your pjs."
"Okay, Mommy." Chrissy went to the drawer she used and pulled out her Little Mermaid pjs and put them on. "Can you read me a story?"
"Sure. Let's get on the bed."
"Daddy, come here. You can read, too."
"Derek, there's room for you on the other side of Chrissy." Derek lay down next Chrissy, and he began reading Horton Hears a Who.
After the story, they sat quietly while she fell asleep, with Derek on Chrissy's left and Meredith on her right. As soon as he noticed that Chrissy was asleep, Derek whispered, "Let's go get a drink." They both got up and went to the kitchen area. Derek took out a bottle of Scotch. "Would you like some?"
"Just one drink. I'm not big on Scotch."
"I'll put tequila on the shopping list."
"Okay.
"We had a great time today. I took Chrissy on the ferry. It was pretty deserted, so we were able to go out. She loved it."
"Before she got sick, we'd go on the ferry at least once a week. I told her that her father had a thing for ferryboats, so she was always interested in going for a ride."
"I'm glad that you told her about me. And you took on her ferryboat rides, and spent time with her here."
"The first time I came here, I felt like a trespasser. Chrissy was only a baby, and the trailer hadn't been touched since you left. I figured that since you were gone, you wouldn't mind if I used it. I always felt close to you here. And I thought it was good for Chrissy to be in her dad's home."
"I wish that I had come back. I loved this land, but I was gone for four years."
"You're here now."
"And I'm planning on building a house here."
"Now?"
"Sure."
"Do you want to wait until January?"
"No, I'm planning on staying here no matter what." Derek looked at Meredith and gave her the McDreamy smile. "I need to be here for you and for Chrissy no matter what happens."
"That's sweet, but I don't know if it's realistic."
"Well, I'm not going to consider the possibility of things going badly. I'm going to act as if all will go well. And if something bad happens, we can deal with it then. Right now, I'm in a happy bubble. Chrissy is doing so well. She's able to be a normal kid."
"As normal as she can be considering she can't go out in public."
"But she loves being home and being here. It's so much better than being stuck in the hospital."
"I know. But she's going to have to go back to the hospital, probably in three weeks." Meredith frowned as she thought of spending many weeks in the hospital.
"So we have to enjoy every day as much as possible."
"You're right about that. Maybe we should go to the parent group meeting on Tuesday. It might help. I think we're going to have a tough time with the bone marrow transplant."
"We could try it this week and see what we think. It's weird with us both being doctors."
"But when it comes to Chrissy's health, we're parents, and it's not any easier for us because we're doctors."
"That's for sure. If anything, it's tougher because we're so aware of what could go wrong," murmured Derek.
"Yea. So we'll do it this Tuesday. I think they meet at 6 p.m."
"It's a date," said Derek with a smirk.
They finished their drinks and then went to bed, with Chrissy lying in-between them.
The next morning Derek woke up. When he opened his eyes, he saw he had his arms around Meredith. He enjoyed holding her in his arms for a few minutes, and then he realized that his daughter was missing. He sat us and looked around the trailer, and he saw Chrissy was sitting on the floor playing with her legos. "How long have you been up?" he whispered.
"I don't know. Just a little bit. You and mommy have been hugging."
"Yes, we have," Derek acknowledged.
"I like it. Hugging is good."
"Why don't you come here and hug me?"
"I'm playing. Hug mommy."
Derek smiled. His daughter was a matchmaking imp. "It's time for me to get up and make breakfast. Mommy needs her beauty sleep."
"Mommy doesn't need sleep to be pretty."
"You're right about that." Derek smiled. He was looking forward to spending the day with his daughter and Meredith. He felt very lucky, at least for the moment.